"Violet- chaaaaaaan!" yelled Masaomi as he saw me exiting the school. "Violet- chan, wait up!"
"Oh, hello, Kida." I said, pausing to wait for him as he ran up to me with Mikado and Anri.
"Violet- chan, why don't you hang out with us anymore? We all miss you!"
"Oh, sorry, I've been a bit busy lately."
"Busy?" asked Mikado, surprised.
"Yeah, VERY busy." I answered, sheepishly rubbing my head. Then I heard the voice I'd so dreaded yet so wanted to hear.
"Vi- chan!" sang Izaya, skipping over to me with an ever- present Cheshire grin.
"Hello, Izaya."
"I heard you hooked up with Shizu- chan some weeks ago! Is that really true?" he enquired, still smiling. "Don't forget, Vi- chan, you belong to me..."
"Well, we'll be going now." said Mikado, pulling away Anri and Masaomi before they had a chance to say anything. Leaving me alone with Izaya.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't disclose my personal life to everyone, Izaya."
"So it IS true! And I was hoping those were just false circulating rumors..." he said, his back to me.
"They aren't."
"Do you love him, Vi- Vi?" he asked, swirling round to face me. "Tell me, do you love him truly and from the bottom of your heart? Tell me and if you do, I'll leave him alone, never to bother him again. Tell me, Violet." he said, forcing my chin up to gaze into my eyes like he always did.
"I- I do..."
"Liar." he coldly said, and startled, I looked at him. "You don't really love him, do you? You care for him and pity him, but that's about it. Tell me the truth, Vi- chan. Is it that when you thread your fingers through his hair, you wish for it to be raven black instead of colored blond? Is it that when he brushes his warm fingers over your equally warm skin, you wish for those fingers instead to be pale and cold, rousing goosebumps over your body? Is it that when he tilts your chin up to kiss you, and you gaze into his eyes, you wish for those eyes to be a wine red instead of the molten chocolate? Is it the things he says, when he echoes my words? Is it that when you snuggle into his rough bartenders outfit smelling of cigarettes, you wish to snuggle instead to a fur- lined coat and soft black shirt? Is it that when you are with him, you wish of me?" he asked, as I slowly backed away from him.
"H- How d- did you know?" I stammered
"I had to be blind not to see it, Vi- chan. All those years, you've dreamed of kissing me, wishing I would hold you in my arms, wishing I would love you." he said, coming closer to me. "You're a fool, Violet." he said, leaning in and smashing his lips on mine as I gasped in shock. The kiss was everything I'd ever dreamed of, he was in control, dominating me entirely but doing it in a way that made me feel protected. His cool lips fit my warm ones perfectly, as if I was meant for him. A short while later, he broke off as I stood there, breathless. He smirked. "Ta, ta, Vi- chan, see you around." he said, waving, and skipped off.

Several hours later
I had decided to finally head to my apartment after hours of aimless walking around the streets. I had just come out of the elevator, turning around the corner down the long corridor to get to my room, when I froze upon hearing Izaya's voice. I quickly hid, praying he wouldn't notice me.
"Izaya. Where is Violet?" I recognized Shinra's voice.
"Probably somewhere off with Shizuo, why?"
"Well she hasn't come back here in a while, and I was worried. So was Celty."
"Why should I care?"
"Izaya, stop it. We all know you care for her."
"CARE for HER?" he maniacally laughed. "Why would I CARE for the likes of HER? She's every bit a monster as Shizu- chan is!"
"She loves you, Izaya." Shinra said quietly.
"I know that. I've known it for what, four years now?"
"Can you honestly say she doesn't mean anything to you after all she's done, Izaya?"
"MEAN anything to me? AHAHAHAHAHAH, Shinra, you certainly haven't changed. Violet is NOTHING to me, I don't care for her, I never did, I never will. She's been nothing but a useful knight in my game. She was entertaining, fun to be around with. She made the days I was bored amusing. She is nothing more than a valuable toy- supplying me with the information, informants and everything I could possibly need. My white Knight. Loving me for all this time, even though she's one of the few people who understands and knows me. She's not delusional like them, she seems to know how despicable I truly am, and that I don't care about being that way. But yet she still continued to love me, help me and do everything she could for me. She is a fool. A light- hearted fool and a monster. She couldn't truly think I'd ever love ANYONE? Least of all a part- Dulahan? I hate her."
"Izaya, stop lying to yourself for once."
"Lying? I don't lie to myself, Shinra. I see things the way they are. Besides, she's happy with Shizu- chan. Monsters fit well together, don't they?"

My mind in shock, my vision blurred, as I listened to Izaya in numb disbelief. I had believed him when he had said we were friends, I had trusted and believed in him... Izaya... Why did you lie then? You could've just said you hated me all those years ago, yet you didn't... Why did you lie and keep a mask on? Why did you fake the enjoyment? Unable to take it anymore, I silently moved away, and ran down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I booked a room in a hotel in Shinjuku several hours later, and after some shopping for alcohol, I returned to it. Izaya's words still rang in my mind, and other memories began to resurface.

I hate her.
Smile
Monsters fit well together, don't they?
Smile
You're a monster!
Smile
Get away from me, trash.
Smile
Friends? I don't recall that.
Smile
We were never friends, I was just pretending.
Smile
You are a disgrace.
Smile
Useless.
Smile
Unneeded.
Smile
You don't belong here.
Smile
Freak!
Smile
Who're you to talk to me that way?
Smile
Apologize, brat!
Smile
You suck!
Smile
Stop bothering.
Smile
I wish you would just die.
Smile
Why can't you be like your mother?
Smile
Fucking bitch, stop being so disrespectful.
Smile
Suck on it. Be good and I'll let you go.
Smile
Stop acting like a clown.
Smile
Hey, bitch!
Smile
She didn't cry when I hit her.
Smile
I heard she never cries.
Smile
You're nothing without us.
Smile
You're disgusting
Smile
Shit, I lost to THAT.
Smile
Shut up.
Smile
No one cares anyway.
Smile
You want to die? I can help you with that.
Smile
I never wanted to be your mom.
Smile
You're weak.
Smile
Why can't you get friends?
Smile
Why can't you be normal?
Smile
Who do you think you are?
Smile
Why do you even exist?
... Smile?