Okay, I know the last chapter ended on a cliffhanger and you all want to know what's going to happen next but I felt that the characters of Ruthie and Martin needed to look back at their past a little before heading forward. I promise the next chapter is what you all are waiting for.

Chapter 10: The Flashback Episode

Ruthie entered her bedroom running her hand through her wet hair from the shower she had just taken. Stooping at her bed, she pulled out a shoe box from underneath it. She climbed onto her bed and pulled the covers up around her waist. She didn't know how to tell Martin. She didn't know when she could tell Martin. He wasn't answering the phone and he was three hours away.

Little did Ruthie know but at that very moment Martin was tossing and turning in his bedroom across the street. Finally settling on his side staring at the clock, he wondered if Ruthie was home from her date yet. He had screwed up again. If he had just said what he was feeling at the wedding, he wouldn't be lying in his bed at midnight jealous and confused over Ruthie going out with another guy.

Sighing, he flipped the switch on his radio letting in the familiar strains of one of his favorite songs. A song that always made him think of Ruthie.

This Time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

His mind went back to when he first saw Ruthie. He had just moved in across the street. He was looking out the window when he saw a short, brunette girl walked in front of his house walking a white dog. He remembered being immediately struck by the girl. Despite being so small and young, she carried herself with such confidence that he was just dying to get to know her.

He had continued to watch the house across the street in which the girl lived for the next few days. Many people came and went from that house so when his father told him to meet the neighbors, he took advantage of the Camden's open doors and followed Ruthie right in.

Too long, too late

Who was I to make you wait?

"Oh. Hi. One of Simon's friends from school?"

"I'm Martin."

"I'm Ruthie. These are fresh oatmeal cookies my Dad brought home from the bakery this morning. He's says he bought them for us but I know it's because my Mom's at my Grandpa's and he knows he can sneak a few without her here."

"Thanks."

Just one chance

Just one breathe

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know, you know, you know

Ruthie remembered being immediately attracted to Martin. Despite being with Peter at the time, she had developed a crush on him from the moment she saw his dreamy blue eyes. It took a while for them to become good friends though. The moment they did become friends was when they finally made up from that huge fight caused by her pulling his pants down in school. That was the same conversation in which he gave her the idea for her future.

"Over hearing's my purpose in life."

"Maybe you could switch to listening. Become a shrink."

"Wow. I really, really like the idea of that."

"You do?"

"Maybe you can talk to women."

"Yeah, maybe."

"I feel really, really stupid for doing what I did and even more stupid for blaming you for it. I don't have any excuse. I'm sorry."

I love you

I've loved you all along

I miss you

Been far away for far too long.

Martin looked over at the picture of Ruthie he had on his bedside table. It may have been taken when she was only fifteen but she was beautiful back then. Why had it taken him so long to realize that?

"Oh, hey guys."

"Hey, Ruthie."

"Hi."

"You look funny."

"No, I don't."

"You look good."

"Thanks. So you guys want to grab a pizza or anything. Mom's out so we have to make our own lunch or we could go get lunch."

"We have practice."

"Yeah, but pizza sounds good. Maybe later."

"Yeah.Maybe later."

At that time, he didn't see it. His best friend could see how beautiful Ruthie was but yet he, who knew Ruthie much better, couldn't let himself look past the sister that she was suppose to be. He shook his head resting it in his hands. I can believe it took me so long to notice.

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

And you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

Ruthie pulled out a button from the box. She had found it on the floor in Martin's room right after he declared he was moving out and become emancipated. It belonged to his jacket. She wanted a memento.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing up my things."

"Are you moving in with your girlfriend."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you're dating a substitute teacher."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"It's going around at school."

"Mac? She's not just a sub. She's a friend. I'm not dating her."

"So you're moving out to move in with this friend that you're not dating."

"I'm not moving in with her."

"So you're just moving out. Dad's never going to let you do this you know. See you at school."

She didn't let Martin know how upset she was when he left. She had grown to really care for him. It was at that point she realized she was feeling things for him that weren't exactly brotherly.

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All the hell to hold your hand

Just sitting there, Martin thought back to when Lucy gave birth to Savannah in the department store.

"I never realized what I was missing until this family."

"Kinda makes you want to get married and have a bunch of kids. Doesn't it?"

"Maybe I'll marry a girl with a lot of brothers and sisters."

He hadn't put much thought into it when he said that but lately it had become a fixation in his mind. He hoped that he had foreshadowed his own future. A future with Ruthie.

I'd give it all

I'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

'Cause you know, you know, you know

Digging deeper into the box, Ruthie uncovered a picture of Vincent. How'd this get in here? She wondered tearing up the picture without much thought. He turned out to be a real jerk. She couldn't believe she spent so much energy on that guy.

She thought back to that Valentine's Day right after she and Vincent started going out. She had been so angry that he hadn't called her back.

"Where're you going?"

"Nowhere."

"What's wrong."

"I hate Valentine's Day."

"Kay. I should be the one to hate Valentine's Day. I have nobody. You have Vincent. What?"

"Vincent hasn't called me in three days."

"Oh. It's just a stupid made up holiday anyway. It's no big deal."

Zoe just had to show up at that sweet moment and declare she wanted back with Martin. Now that Ruthie thought about it. She had been angrier at Martin and Zoe than at Vincent.

That I love you

I loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

Martin got up from his bed and walked over to his window. He noticed a dim light coming from the Camden's attic. Ruthie must be home. He thought relieved. She's probably thinking about how great her new boyfriend is.

"Look. I don't think either of these guys think of you as a sister. And I think they both like you."

"I know that Vincent. Were you just hanging out in the backyard to see what time Martin went home?"

"No. I saw him going up the street as I was going down the street. And yeah, I came back and hanged around outside."

Vincent had known there was something between him and Ruthie before he knew himself. Ruthie knew that he liked her before he knew himself. How stupid was I? Martin kicked himself mentally.

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

And you'd never go

Stop breathing

If I don't see you anymore

Ruthie couldn't help but smile as she looked at a picture of Martin, Mr. Brewer and herself. It was taken the day that Mr. Brewer came home from Iraq. The same day Ruthie fully realized that she was falling for Martin. It was the day they hugged for the first time.

So far away

So far away

Far away for far too long

Martin moved over to his dresser to look at the picture taken the day his father had returned home from Iraq. His loved this picture. It showed to him how much, more than any other Camden, Ruthie had become a part of his family. That day had been joyous and confusing at the same time. He was so happy to see his Dad but after the hug he had with Ruthie, he found himself feeling things he just shouldn't be feeling.

"Thanks for trying to get me to break up with Vincent. It's not like you to get sucked into wacky plans and lying."

"I wouldn't do it for just anyone."

"Yeah."

"Come here."

(They hug and it ends awkwardly when both realize they felt something)

"So what time does your Dad's plane land?"

"Uh.Soon."

"We're all going to the airport with you. Aren't we?"

"Yeah, I want my family to be there."

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

Ruthie leaned back on her pillow thinking on the plan she had concocted after she realized she was in love with Martin. All she had to do was get a guy Martin's age to date her and then Martin would finally she how grown up she was. It failed miserably.

"I guess. But he has to be good looking, popular and hot."

"Hot?"

"Yeah. You know. Sexy."

"Why do you want someone who's sexy?"

"There's nothing wrong with being sexy. Some people even think I'm sexy."

"Why do you want people to think your sexy?"

"Why not? People think you're sexy."

"No. They don't."

"Ha. Yes they do."

"Well, I'm not."

"Well, you are."

"Okay. Look. I'll bring a guy for you to meet. A guy I think you'll like. I'm no judge on whether a person's sexy but I think I can find you a better date for you than Jack."

"Alright.Fine. I have nothing else to do."

Ruthie's cheeks blushed just at the thought of how she had let it slip and called Martin sexy. But she couldn't help it. He just was.

'Cause I needed

I need to hear you to say

I love you

I loved you all along

Martin thought about Meredith. Sitting down on the foot of his bed, he felt guilty. He often felt guilty for the way he treated Meredith. He never loved. He liked her. She was very sweet but he just didn't know her well enough to love her the way he claimed he did. He had just told her he loved her to avoid having to tell her the truth about Sandy.

"But don't tell Ruthie Camden or anyone else because if word gets out that you and Sandy saw each other, my Dad might find out. If my Dad finds out, I'm gonna have to quit seeing you 'cause I just couldn't go out with a guy he doesn't approve of after all he's done for me."

"Believe me; I'm not going to say anything to Ruthie."

"So you love me? Can I just tell Ruthie that part? Because I have to tell someone."

(Hesitantly) "Alright."

He didn't understand at the time why he was so reluctant in Meredith's telling Ruthie that they said I love you. Now he knew. "I'm in love with Ruthie Camden." Martin grinned in satisfaction that he finally admitted aloud.

And I forgive you

For being far away for far too long

Ruthie stared up at the ceiling. It took her back to the time she spent all night staring at the ceiling. That was the night, Martin told her about Sandy.

"I feel like such an idiot! How could I be so stupid! No. How could you be so stupid! I hate you!"

"Please, please don't hate me."

"Get out!"

"Ruthie, listen."

"No! Don't! Just get out, get out get out, get out, get out! I hate you. I hate you!"

"I hate me too."

That was the night that changed her life. At the time, Ruthie couldn't think that her life would possibly get any worse. Now she saw how much that moment defined in life. How much she was actually grateful that it happened. God had used something so heartbreaking to make her grow up and create a depth to her relationship with Martin that wasn't present before she found out about Sandy.

So keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me, and never let me go

Martin listened to the lyrics. He had broken Ruthie's heart that night. It killed him but he convinced himself it was just because she was shocked by the news of it all. It wasn't until two weeks after he left Glen Oak that he learned how much he had really broke her heart.

He had escaped to Simon's one night to complain about not being able to handle being a father and college and a job.

"I just can't handle this. I want to go home and live a normal life. I miss my Dad. I miss my baseball team. I miss Ruthie."

"What? No. No. No. You are not going back to Glen Oak just to see Ruthie. She's the last person you need to see."

"Why?"

"Because she's heartbroken with you gone. She's completely lost it."

"What? Then I got to go call her."

"No. Don't call her. She needs to get over you and the last thing she needs is for you to show up and give her some false hope that you're in love with her."

"What if I am?"

"I don't care. You're in a confused state of mind. Ruthie needs stability."

Keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me never let me go

Ruthie sat up again and began digging in the box. She pulled out the promise ring T Bone gave her. The stupid promise ring that was given to her out of guilt and eventually caused their first break up. The break up that seemed so devastating to her one moment and the next moment so unimportant.

"Hello."

"Uh, hey Ruthie. It's Martin."

"Oh, hey. Why are you calling?"

"I heard about you and T Bone."

"Don't tell me he texted you too. I didn't think he even had your number."

"Uh, no. I heard it from Jane."

"Oh yeah. How's that going."

"Not so great. We broke up. We learned we didn't have that much to say to each other. Friends we will remain."

"Oh."

"So I was thinking I really miss hanging out with you. How about I pick you up tomorrow morning and drive you to school?"

"Sure. I'd loved too."

After getting that phone call, Ruthie couldn't believe how little she cared about her break up with T Bone. Yeah, sure, it always hurts getting rejected but when getting attention from Martin came along with it, it was almost great. Ruthie shook her head at the cheap ring and threw it across the room. "Good riddance."

Keep Breathing

Hold on to me, never let me go

As the song neared closing, Martin climbed back into bed. He couldn't believe how he had screwed up his second chance with Ruthie. He had just gotten so confused about where he stood with Jane and had gotten jealous of Aaron getting another father and had gotten thrown for a loop when he found out how attracted he was to Ruthie. He really wished their first kiss hadn't been marred by the fact that he was still involved with Jane but still he would never forget it.

It occurred a few days after he had volunteered to drive Ruthie to school. One day, after he picked her up from school, they went to the park to walk around and get some ice cream.

"What are you laughing at, Martin?"

"You got some ice cream on your nose."

"Well, maybe I like it there."

"Here let me get it."

Martin leaned over to wiped off the ice cream but as he got closer to Ruthie, it was like a magnet pulling them together. They kissed. It was short as both were taken by surprise but yet it contained so much passion that Martin had figured out right then and there to break things off completely with Jane.

Martin sighed. Things hadn't gone quite has he had planned. When he went to meet Jane, she wouldn't let him get a word in edge wise before she was making out with him, and giving into hormones, Martin went right along. For the next few days, he kept going out with Ruthie enjoying every minute of it and occasionally stealing a kiss here and there while later going out to make out with Jane. Stupid.Stupid.Stupid. Had he lost his chance with Ruthie forever?

Keep breathing

Hold on to me, never let me go

Next Week on Far Away: Ruthie rebels against her parents to finally be with the one she loves.