Firestar grunted as he sat on the cold floor of his den. "Hey bitch," he called Sandstorm standing timidly in the corner of the room.

"Yes, Firestar?" she asked weakly.

"Waaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeelllllll (Well in Firestar's ghetto talk), I need you to get Brambleclaw."

"Yes, Firestar." she walked out and Brambleclaw walked in with Sandstorm shortly after.

Brambleclaw sat on his butt uncomfortably. Firestar looked in confusion, wondering what was the problem. "What is it?"

Brambleclaw snorted and turned his head away rudely, but he quickly screeched in pain. "AUGH!"

Firestar's ears flicked back at the sudden loud noise, then he saw the large stick up Brambleclaw's butt. "Where did that stick come from? Are you gay?!" Firestar didn't want to imagine all the possible gay things he could be doing with other cats in Thunder Clan, particularly Assfur Ashfur. EVERYONE knows that male cats have gay sex whenever fighting over a she-cat. How it is effective, no one is sure, but it totally works. Every. Single. Time.

"No, Firestar. I'm not gay." Brambleclaw replied in a teenaged girl who is pissed off tone. "I was just, like, talking to Squirrelflight-"

"DON'T STICK A STICK UP MY BABY'S ASS!" Firestar yowled in rage, starting to attack Brambleclaw.

"Nigga," Brambleclaw meowed. "Get the fuck off my back." Brambleclaw shaked his pelt until Firestar was flinged roughly into the hard stone wall. "I didn't stick a damn stick up her ass." Brambleclaw winced in pain. "I was sleeping and apparently Ashfur thought it would be funny if he stuck a stick up my ass." Brambleclaw meowed grumpily.

"Aww, is wittle Bramblecwaw upset becawse someone put a stick up your butt?" Firestar meowed in mocking talking to a baby tone.

Brambleclaw said nothing. "Why did you want me in here, again?"

"Oh yeah... when are you and Squirrelflight gonna have them kits?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU TOO!" Brambleclaw stormed out of the den, still in severe pain as he walked to the medicine den.

"Sandstorm..." Firestar spoke in a soft, serious tone.

"Yes?" a spark of hope pricked her pelt at the thought that Firestar might say something nice to her for once.

"Can you... grab my mice tail tassels?"

Sandstorm nodded and grabbed the tail tassels. "Here." she meowed, helping him adjust the tail tassels.

"I'm gonna watch around the clan."

"Ok..." Sandstorm was going to question this, but she decided just to ignore it.

Firestar walked out of the den and watched around the camp, but, within seconds, he heard something strange.

"Seven a.m., waking up in the morning."

Is that Mousefur? Firestar questioned in his mind.

"Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs."

Hey, that's Purdy...

"Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal."

Longtail, too?! Firestar's thoughts were jumbled with all that was going on. His fur puffed up in shock when he saw Longtail pull out a bowl of preeyios.

(That was a pun, if you were so incomprehensible you couldn't figure it out. He had cereal, and cats wouldn't have cheerios. They would have preeyios instead. Preeyios is a cereal consisting of mice flavored bits to be DELICIOUS)

"Seein' everything, the time is goin'." Cloudtail's sexy voice joined in.

Oh, Firestar was quite aware of what was going on. If anything, he was too aware.

"Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'." Mousefur continued.

"Gotta get down to the bus stop." Purdy sang weakly.

"Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)." Longtail said with Cloudtail repeating "my friends".

Then, Firestar couldn't fight it anymore. "Kickin' in the front seat."

"Sittin' in the back seat." Hollyleaf added.

"Gotta make my mind up." Yellowfang quickly came from Star Clan to sing that line.

"Which seat can I take?" Jayfeather muttered.

"It's Friday, Friday; Gotta get down on Friday." all of the cats singing sang the chorus, making the most perfect melody. "Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend." they all sang happily. "Friday, Friday; Gettin' down on Friday! Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend." They all finished dramatically.

"OH HELL NO!" Bluestar, the bootylicious Star Clan member whom refused to join Booty Clan because she is still mad about the Oakfart thing, drove in front of the camp. Her butt was as big as two basketballs, but not too overwhelming. Her cat mobile was playing "Super Bass" with the bass all the way up. Her hot pink dress was low cut around her kitty breast, and her... "REAR END" was letting it all hang out.

(*internal snickering*)

"Bluestar!" Firestar said with annoyance. "I thought you were dead and would finally leave me alone."

"You wish."

"Why're you here? To torture me?" Firestar meowed mockingly.

"Nigga, I ain't got time for your questions. I just needed ya'll to stop singing... bleh... FRIDAY!" Bluestar immediately threw up after saying the song's name. "Just stop it."

"Why?"

"Because it made me throw up, dumbass!"

"Is that a bad thing?" Firestar challenged.

"Ok, you know what. Peace out. You can run your clan without me." Bluestar snorted.

Firestar smiled. "Yes! Now I can enjoy my life!"

Bluestar only hissed in annoyance before leaving.

"Le awesome me~!" Firestar mumbled loudly before going back to his den to sleep.