Adrift
Moonlight streamed in the window, broken by drifting dark clouds... for hours, it seemed, this movement of light and wind had captivated and mesmerized him, as Sephiroth stared silently out the huge windows at the Nibelheim Inn. He heaved a sigh... something about this town... he'd never been here before, and yet... something seemed... so familiar.
Glowing green emerald eyes darted from the shadowwy shape of the ShinRa mansion, to the far-off mountains they'd come back from just today.
A shifting behind him alerted him to when and where he actually was again, and he turned around to look.
The sleepy blue eyes of the boy in his bed met him, as a thin arm raised up, and a small hand ran its fingers through his wild blonde hair. "Sephiroth?" he muttered, squinting in the blinding silver of the moon outside. "What are you doing?"
The general sighed and looked down at the floor. "I... couldn't sleep."
"It's more than that." said the boy in the bed, turning over onto his stomach, his bare shoulderblades poking out from under the blanket. He spoke as if he'd had this exact same exchange countless times before, and wanted to just cut to the chase. "What's wrong?"
Sephiroth swallowed. Weakness... he hated it. And there were two of them right now... the thing that was bothering so much, and being pressed to admit it by Cloud.
"Lover, dear lover, I've had a fell dream:
My mother's adrift on the sea."
Cloud blinked, confused, "Your... your who?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes as if wondering if this was just a strange dream of his own.
Sephiroth sighed, shook his head, and continued.
"My brothers have left her alone in the gale,
there's no-one to save her but me."
Hojo's words rang out in his head, things from long ago that he thought he hadn't even listened to. 'Jenova. We took her out, got samples, did what we needed to do with her, and then shut her right back up in that reactor where she was found. After all... you can't take something as old as her out of her environment for long before she begins to deteriorate.' he'd tried to justify the awful-sounding routine of scientific collection... but that didn't do it for Sephiroth now that he had actually seen what she was doing inside that reactor. The monsters she'd made... Obviously, she wasn't happy with her current situation. But it wasn't like they had the necessary intelligence to get her out.
Cloud shook his head, "Sephiroth, I thought you didn't..." he stopped, thinking. This was a touchy subject, he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to get into it, "...I thought... you didn't know your mother."
Sephiroth sighed and shook his head, at last getting up from his seat in a chair by the window. "I didn't. I..." he looked up as he walked over, a sheet from the bed pulled loosely around his hips. His eyes held strange emotions Cloud had never seen in them before: Fear, doubt, worry, weakness. "...I'm probably just tired." he said with a definitive nod and a smile as he sat back down beside the boy, then hunched over and sighed, his head in a hand.
Cloud bit his lip a little and sat up, gently resting a hand on the general's shoulder, and pushing him lightly down.
My dear, my dear, lay down your fair head.
I've given you love, and I've given my bed,
and your mother is sleeping,
she's well and she's hale.
"Come on," the boy said when they were once again side-by-side, and his pale arms were wrapped around the general's middle, "Get back to sleep." he closed his eyes, and buried his head into Sephiroth's bare chest, making the man smile just a little. The hair tickled... and so did the hot, steady breath against his cold skin.
-
Lover, dear lover, she's crying my name:
'Sephiroth...'
My mother's adrift on the sea.
With a sigh, Cloud again ventured down the spiraling stairs of ShinRa mansion. He'd been doing this for weeks now... if Sephiroth really wanted to hole himself up here, and not take care of himself... well, someone had to.
He carefully balanced a tray of food, water, toast, and soup. The best of the boy's abilities, given the small grocery store in the town and a microwave. He proceeded down the dark, cavelike hallway a little nervously. He'd always hated this place...
As always, the door at the end was shut, but not locked. Sephiroth had given in and chosen to just keep it open to let Cloud in, rather than to have to get up and do it himself every time the boy came knocking. He no longer wanted to be disturbed from his studies in that way.
She's none to protect her, no oar and no sail,
there's no-one to save her but me.
The boy sighed. Sephiroth was getting obsessed... ever since that incident at the reactor it was just getting worse and worse. And the general was more and more distant. He no longer even came back to bed at night.
A light was on in the study off to the side of the main lab, and Cloud walked down into it. A sputtering candle was lit next to the general, sitting at the desk, and hunched over a huge dusty volume. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was paler than usual... and thinner.
My dear, my dear, another will come.
"Sephiroth... please..." Cloud begged again, setting his burden down beside the man, and amazingly not spilling anything. "...eat something. You're going to starve to death if you go on like this.
The general was silent, and just turned away, resting his head on his arm and looking at the book sideways. The candle was fading fast.
The boy sighed. "Let's at least get you some light in here... you're going to go blind." he murmured, "...even if your eyes do glow." He reached up, and pulled aside a shade on a small, dusty window behind the desk, and the pale light streamed in.
I've given you family, I'd give you the sun,
"No..." came a soft whisper behind him, and he turned around.
"Hm?" Cloud blinked, as he looked at Sephiroth, "What, you like it there in the dark?"
"Don't hurt her..." came a meek beg.
"What?" he drew closer, and bent over the general, watching him closely. He was asleep... dreaming. With a defeated sigh, Cloud looked around the room, finding, tossed to the side, the blanket he'd brought down yesterday when this had happened.
and your mother is singing,
she's well and she's hale.
-
Crashes and screams awoke him from his sleep that night, and he looked around fearfully to see that the midnight skies were glowing with a red light. He stumbled out of bed, and found himself pulling on his uniform, and running outside.
Fire sprang up from all the buildings around him, blood and bodies lay in the square. Smoke stung his eyes and his breath, but he was in tears before even that had hit him. Miraculously, he could make out two shapes retreating into the darkness... one he didn't recognize, the other hefting the huge weight of a buster sword. They ran into the mountains... and he followed.
By the time he got into the reactor, he saw that the carnage had already occured. Tifa, the first figure, he imagined, lay in a pool of her own blood on the ground, crumpled up at the bottom of the stairs. And Zack was splayed out on top of one of the little capsules in the front room of the reactor, his back bent over it in a way he was sure a human's body was not meant to go. His eyes were shut, he barely breathed, and his sword lay well out of reach of his outstretched hand.
Cloud did the only thing he could do. He grabbed the weapon, and ran up the stairs.
"Sephiroth!" he screamed, seeing the darkly cloaked man standing ominously at the top of the stairs. The general did not do so much as turn around to look at him before proceeding into the room beyond.
He could barely see anymore by the time he got there, his chest heaving from the effort of the run, and the weighty sword, as he leaned in the doorway and watched the man, with a twisted childlike smile on his face, cradling a disgusting, but recognizable blue head.
"Jenova..." the general murmured, "Mother..."
"Sephiroth, why are you doing this!" Cloud demanded wildly, his voice breaking.
Sephiroth turned to him then, the mad grin spreading.
"Lover, dear lover, there are tears on her gown:
My mother's adrift on the sea.
Her sons have all left her, I cannot now fail,
there's no-one to save her but me."
Cloud felt the sharp sting of Masamune's impact into his stomach, and the strange sensation of become weightless as he was lifted up off his feet, and dangled over the chasm into the reactor core.
"And I won't let you hurt her anymore." Sephiroth hissed.
Choking down blood and tears, Cloud weakly gripped the blade, though pulling it out would be impossible, and useless. "You... you don't... understand..." he barely managed, dragging himself closer down the silver-stained-red.
"My dear, my dear, you've seen an untruth.
I've given you joy and I've given you youth,
and your mother has comfort,
she's well and she's hale."
"Liar! I saw what you were doing to her!" Sephiroth yelled, his voice alight with emotion: fury and sadness.
"It... it wasn't me." Cloud begged, still dragging himself closer as he felt his entire lower body becoming drenched in the hot red liquid that poured from the skin around where Sephiroth's sword entered, "It wasn't us! Not Zack, and not Tifa... not me, or my hometown... why did you do it, Sephiroth? Why? WHY!"
For the moment, the general was silent, and seemingly distracted, that was all that Cloud needed. One final pull, and his toes touched the metal floor. With his last strength, he twisted his body, and the wide-eyed Soldier, still clutching strongly to the hilt of the blade was dragged with it over the edge.
The sword slipped out of Cloud's middle, and he sunk to his knees, and watched as the man fell silently, still holding to his mother with all of his strength.
"Don't let your feet touch the earth"
he spluttered, something hot dripping from the corners of his mouth as Sephiroth continued to plummet towards the ground. The delusional boy toppling over onto his side on the cold floor, repeating the rules of an old childhood game... something he and his friends used to do in the old playground which, of course, had probably already burned to the ground by now.
'You touch the ground and you die!' called one voice from the top of the monkey bars.
But some semblence of an understanding of relevance remained. When Sephiroth hit the bottom of the reactor... that was it. He didn't want Sephiroth to touch the ground… he didn't want Sephiroth to die… what had he done?
'But I'm stuck!' said a little girl on the swings.
'Hey, come here!' a smiling boyish face said, beckoning over to Cloud, who had just confusedly stumbled into the game, 'Play with us! Come here to me!'
"Come back to me..."
Cloud begged, his vision returning to the cold green glow of the mako reactor, Sephiroth having long since faded away... He closed his eyes. He didn't want to see anymore.
"Come back to me..."
---
Author's Note Thingy: Not quite the way I thought it would be. I really like the beginning, and I really like the end, not so sure about the middle. Quite rewritten... oh well. I thought of two things when I heard this... Sephiroth's going-insane story, and an AU future kind of thing, that you'll read next. This one's very slightly less rewritten, but... oh well. Enjoy!
---
Adrift
"What is it Cloud?" she asked, pulling herself up until she was leaning back on her elbows, watching the dark shape of the man beside her sitting up, bent over, his head on his knees.
"..."
"Cloud?"
He turned to her, his expression was so strange. Apologetic, and yet foreign. Something was there that... it sounded very weird, but... something was there that wasn't Cloud.
"What is it?"
"Lover, dear lover, I've had a fell dream:
My mother's adrift on the sea."
"Cloud..." Tifa sat up beside him, and softly lay a hand on his shoulder, "It was just a dream. Cloud, your mother's fine, she's... in the lifestream now." she bit her lip, "She's dead."
Cloud shook his head, "No... no she's not."
"What?"
"My brothers have left her alone in the gale,
there's no-one to save her but me."
"Brothers? What brothers? Cloud, what are you talking about. You're awake now."
"Kadaj... Loz and Yazoo..." Cloud whispered, "My brothers..."
Tifa swallowed. This was... worrying her now. She silently thanked the dark for hiding the fear in her eyes. "No, Cloud. They're not."
He looked at her questioningly. Still, though... it wasn't like him.
"Come on..." she cooed. "You don't need to worry about that, she's... they're all okay.
My dear, my dear, lay down your fair head.
I've given you love, and I've given my bed,"
Silently, Cloud consented to lay down again, though he shied away from Tifa's touch, and turned to look up at his sword, mounted carefully on the wall.
"And your mother is sleeping,"
Tifa tried.
"she's well and she's hale."
'Cloud...'
-
In the morning they sat down at the table in the bar, beside plates of eggs and toast. The two were silent, Tifa trying not to, but finding her eyes constantly wandering over to the swordsman... observing him.
At one point, Cloud stopped. He just froze... in the middle of an action, his fork held in his hand, empty, halfway to his plate to get more egg. His eyes went wide, then grew dim, and at last closed.
'Cloud, come to me... don't you love your mother?'
He looked up worriedly at Tifa a moment after that. She was standing now, leaning over the table and watching him pointedly. "What just happened?" she demanded softly, but sternly.
"Lover, dear lover, she's crying my name:
My mother's adrift on the sea."
"Cloud..." she tried.
'Don't listen.'
"No, you don't... you can't..." the man tried to explain, standing up, his hands on the sides of his head, "I can hear her..."
She's none to protect her, no oar and no sail,
there's no-one to save her but me.
'That's... not good...' Tifa walked quickly around. "Cloud you can't be thinking about this now... it's... it's bad for you."
He looked up, "What else is there?"
She smiled a little bit more, "I have something you might like to know... it'll take your mind off of these things."
'Don't listen.'
"My dear, my dear, another will come.
I've given you family, I'll give you a son,"
Tifa smiled a little wider, placing a hand on her stomach, "It's true. It's real. Cloud isn't that... isn't that wonderful?"
and your mother is singing,
she's well and she's hale.
Cloud just silently looked down. "It's... not the same."
-
Turning over in her sleep, Tifa felt emptiness next to her. She opened her auburn eyes, looking around in the shadows of night to try and find what was missing. "Cloud...?"
She sat up. The shelves on his side of the room were haphazardly rummaged through, clothing hanging from out of them, and thrown all over the floor. His sword was gone from its place on the wall.
With a gasp, she quickly sat up, pulling a robe on over her silken nightgown as she padded down the halls barefoot. She caught him at the front door, leaning over and opening the lock.
"Cloud!" she called, her voice wavering.
He stopped, and looked up, straightened, and turned to her. His clear ocean eyes were now murky pools of green as he calmly raised a hand to silence her. "Before you even ask... I'll just explain it to you." he said in a cold, alien voice, strangely stern and unemotional.
"Lover, dear lover, there are tears on her gown:
My mother's adrift on the sea."
"No, not this again..." Tifa said, her hands were on her cheeks, water running from her eyes through her fingers, "...not this... not again... Cloud, not you."
Cloud merely continued as if she hadn't even spoken. "The others were not... capable enough.
Her sons have all left her, I cannot now fail,
there's no-one to save her but me.
I'd always stopped them in the past. Sephiroth was a maniac, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo mere children... but I..." he smiled wickedly. "Who will stop me?"
"No..." she shook her head, and took a shaky step closer. The sword resting on Cloud's shoulder, in an instant, was hovering out in front of him, his arm outstretched, the tip pointing directly at her, mere inches away. "No, Cloud!" she screamed. "Please, don't give in to her...!"
'Give in to me...'
"My dear, my dear, you've seen an untruth.
I've given you joy and I've given you youth,"
She tried vainly to beg him to stay again, but he was already turning towards the door and opening it.
"and your mother has comfort,
Your real mother, Cloud! Not Jenova! Jenova murdered your real mother! Why are you going to her!"
she's well and she's hale.
'Come to me. Child, come to me.'
Cloud looked absently out the window on the upper half of the door for a moment, before giving a nod to some silent direction the woman had not heard, before he turned back to her. "I will invite you to my Reunion." He said cordially, then turned.
The door slammed. He was gone. Tifa sank to her knees, her shoulders heaving with sobs. "No, Cloud…
Don't let your feet touch the earth,"
But she'd already heard the crunch of his boots on the gravel outside, and felt her entire self go weak. She doubled over, her hands fisting and slamming on the floor as she cried,
"Come back to me.
Don't make us all go through this again, don't…
Come back to me."
History repeats itself.
---
Author's Ending Note Thingy: Not quite as I wanted it, but good enough. I like my end to this one... very very much. But not so much the middle and the beginning. The middle is better than the middle in the first one. Okay, I'll stop rambling now.