Title: Tales of a Would-be Hostage
Chapter: 10/??
Author: thefalloficarus at livejournal
Characters: This chapter: River, Mal, Inara
Spoilers/Warnings: Completely Alternate Universe. River never went to the Academy, certain characters have WAY different backgrounds.

Note: Mal/River fans... just keep reading, it'll all be okay at the end.
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Mal sat at the galley table, the lights of Serenity set to their 'nighttime' low, as he sipped at a cup of home-distilled whiskey. He mused that it tasted more like engine fuel than good alcohol, but he was in no mood to be picky and it was doing it's job so he didn't hold it's purity against it.

"It's late." Came a voice, and he turned to see River dressed in an ill-fitting pair of Jayne's old pants and an old t-shirt. Her arm was tucked neatly, close to her body, in a sling, easing the weight on her ravaged collarbone. She stood, bent partially, as if the mere act of standing caused her considerable pain, and watched him from the hallway.

"What are you doing up and out of bed?"

"Couldn't sleep." River replied, slowly making her way to the table. "You stopped keeping watch." She said, after seating herself, eliciting a chuckled from Mal.

"Well, you ain't exactly in the shape to be hijacking my boat." He replied, tilting the bottle of whiskey toward her, offering to share.

River waved her hand and shook her head, slumping in the chair in a relaxed position. She closed her eyes a moment and breathed out a long slow breath with Mal watching her all the while. "You're worried." She finally said, her eyes still closed.

"Now, why do you say that?" He asked, shifting in his seat, taking another drink.

"Hear you pacing. You didn't come tonight, and you're drowning your worries in fire." She said, tilting her head up, opening her eyes. Her gaze was piercing and after a moment's pause she added. "We're running out of fuel."

"Well now Albatross, we should be fine. Don't' you worry your pretty little head about that." Mal said, forcing a smile.

"One week for Zoë, two weeks for me. Out in the middle of no where, the only chance now is to turn for Whitefall." Her eyes flicked for a moment to his hands as they clenched around his glass. "And Whitefall scares you."

"I never said no such thing." Mal said, his tone angry and defensive. "I know I ain't no fancy Alliance Captain, but I ain't exactly stupid, and I been Capt'n'n' since you were in diapers, so while I think you for your opinion, I don't need it. My ship is fine, I know exactly where we're going."

"Miranda." River whispered.

"What?"

"We're going to Miranda. That's where we can refuel."

"Who'n hell's name is Miranda?" Mal asked, still completely thrown.

"For a super Captain, you could due with a little more time with your star charts." She said, a hint of anger in her tone. "Miranda, it's a black rock. Colonization failed roughly seven years ago."

"If'n this 'Miranda' is a black rock, how the hell'll we refuel there?"

"Colonization was attempted for almost a year. There's bound to be supplies and it's far out on the rim, lacking in scavengers." River explained tiredly.

Mal sat and watched her for a moment, and slowly a smile spread across his face. "If things had been different, you might have made an excellent criminal."

River smiled. "As far as I hear, I already am."

That caused Mal's smile to vanish and he looked down at the table between them. He realized he'd tightened his grip on his cup once more, and he relaxed his hand, trying to force his tension and guilt down and out. He flattened his palm out on the table before him.

River reached out, placed a hand on top of Mal's and squeezed gently. "This isn't your fault." She smiled then, "We'll it is, but not entirely. We all make our own destinies. Simon could have stayed behind the guards, and I didn't have to pull that gun on them." She sighed and then winced, still sunken back in her seat.

Mal stilled under her touch, and his eyes flicked from her to her hand on his and back again. He was acutely aware of how fast his heart was beating and he felt sweat start to form on his palms. He gave a little half-hearted nervous chuckle and then remained silent, unsure of what to do. Suddenly Inara's words began echoing through his head. 'Because petty thievery is so attractive to the youngest and brightest the Alliance has to offer.' He felt heat rise to his cheeks and then pulled his hand out from under hers.

As if called by Mal's thoughts, Inara appeared in the doorway. She paused, startled by the pair at the table and then blushed slightly, stepping back toward the doorway. "I'm sorry, I was just... getting some tea..."

"No.. you're fine." Mal said, interpreting her thoughts. "We were just talking."

River watched the two, glancing from one to the other, a curious expression clouding her face. "With your permission Captain, I'll set the course we were discussing." She said, bring all attention to her.

Inara watched Mal carefully as he answered. "I reckon maybe you should just give it to Wash."

"I'll go wake him then." River said, starting to maneuver herself up.

"Now, I don't see the reason for that. You can tell him in the morning." Mal said, noting Inara's attention and refraining from reaching out to the girl in front of him.

River looked to Inara and back to Mal. "As you wish. I just thought it might be prudent to get their sooner, rather than not at all." She said pointedly.

Mal sighed, and steeled himself under River's withering gaze. He felt as though he were stuck between a rock and a hard place. He shouldn't have to check his actions when Inara was present, and yet she made him feel guilty about his interactions with the youngest Tam, as if just be being near her he was committing some devious act. "Fine, permission to change course, but I'm going with you."

River nodded. "As you like."

Inara watched them both stand and waited for River to hobble past her. When Mal arrived at her side, she glared at him. "Well isn't she just one of the crew now." She said icily.

Mal glared then. "Enough." He snapped. "This ain't some war of them against us, and if it was the only person who seems to be fighting that battle is you. I don't know how to make things right by you Inara, not without selling out genuinely decent people. They ain't done nothing to deserve being turned in, and as far as crew goes, that girl's shed more blood for my people in three weeks than you have in four years. Leave it alone Inara or get off my boat."

Inara turned her body so that they were standing face to face in the small doorway, their bodies almost touching. Her expression dark, and without warning she reached up and kissed Mal hard, stunning him. He had been prepared for an argument, or even another slap, but the taste of soft smooth lips pressed against his own was something he hadn't even considered could happen. When she finally pulled away from him Mal simply stood there, looking bewildered, and without a word Inara turned from him and walked away, leaving him confused and alone once again.

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River stood at the door to the bridge watching the companion retreat down the hall. Mal stood stalk still in the doorway, and she took the moment to turn and fully enter the bridge. She suddenly didn't want to know what was on his mind: didn't want to hear the thoughts of lust or love roll from him.

When River was younger, she thought she would marry Simon. He had been the one man in her life that she shared everything with, who understood her. As she grew older she grew out of that idle daydream of her youth, but no man had ever struck her interest again. She didn't want to marry Simon anymore, but with his presence coupled with flight school and the thrill of an entire 'verse stretched out before her, love, lust and romance never seemed to matter to her.

When she first realized that her anger had boiled down to raw attraction for the Captain she had been startled. When he appeared outside the medical door every night to stand guard over her she found herself growing eager for their moments. She enjoyed his presence and she began to watch him, learn from him, and in that time she grew to respect him.

"Zhòu mà (damn it)!" She said, banging her fist on the co-pilot's chair in front of her. Regret filled her as she thought about their moments together in the infirmary after her injury. "bèn dàn! idiot" She groan slapping herself on the forehead gently. "It was all in my head." She groaned, sinking into the co-pilot's chair, wincing, muscles aching that she didn't even know she had.

"What was in your head?" Mal asked, entering the bridge.

River turned in her chair, despite the pain. "That you actually trust me." She said in a low menacing voice. He still looked shell-shocked from his earlier encounter, and that only made her angrier.

"What?" He asked, completely thrown.

"You stand outside my door every night for fear that I might escape, and yet you allowed me to come with you to check out that ship. What was I meant for? Cannon fodder? We're outlaws according to our people and yet still I'm so untrustworthy that you have to stand over my shoulder while I save your ship from becoming stranded in the pì gu ass end of the universe!" With that, she turned to the control screen in front of her and began rapidly pushing buttons. After a moment, she pointed. "Miranda." She declared through her rage.

Mal stared at her, jaw dropped. 'What in the hell's come over the women of this ship?!' He thought indignantly.

River glared at him and then pushed another button. "Here's where we were. Here's where we are." She said pointing to each location. "See how we're headed here?" She asked condescendingly, pointing to the vast nothingness at the edge of the galaxy. "We managed to lose the Alliance here because no one in their right mind would venture out here, there's nothing!" She said. "I know this because despite the fact that I might not be as old and 'wizened' as you but I happen to be an excellent pilot and a damn good captain myself." She punched a couple more buttons and they both felt Serenity shift. "There!" She said. "We're headed towards the only land we have fuel enough to reach. Beyond that are habited planets that we might be able to radio if Miranda is a bust. The no good, worthless, Alliance scum has somehow found a touch of humanity in her horrid little shriveled soul, and now your crew can rest easy while mine has to continue to worry about our impending court martial!" And with that she stood, wincing when she did.

"Now wait a minute!" Mal said holding a hand up to stay her. "Where in the gorram dì yù hell did this come from?"

River hunched in response her glare growing even more withering.

"Okay, yes, I hate the alliance." He said. "But I lived through the Unification Wars so don't give me any of that pì huà bullshit about their best interest is the good of humanity. That said, I never said you and yours weren't good people. Hell I think the only strike against you is the fact that you're Alliance." This comment seemed to soften her glare slightly and so he continued.

"And I trust you. I trust you with my life. I walked out in front, not you. I was damn upset when you got hurt." He admitted without thinking. "It should have been me. I know that." He dropped his gaze to the floor and sighed.

"We'll be off your boat soon enough." River said, some of the venom from before having left her tone.

Mal looked up suddenly. "I never said that. You folk are welcome to stay as long as you need. I caused you plenty'a trouble and I ain't the sort to just abandon those who've helped me."

This time River dropped her gaze. She wanted to point out that his girlfriend was obviously jealous of their interaction, but instead she just shook her head and started for the door.

"River." Mal said futily, still standing in the doorway, hoping to block her exit. "I'm ... well... I didn't mean ta hurt your feelings. I..." He rubbed a hand through his hair in frustration.

She stopped in front of him, waiting for him to move out of the way. Mal couldn't help but think how small and delicate looking she was, with her face a mass of healing bruises in her too big borrowed clothing, hunched in pain. Her hair, he realized for the first time, wasn't in it's normal tight braid, but rather flowing free in wavy masses. Despite himself he reach up and brushed a strand from her face. "River, I trust you. Hell, you have free reign on my ship, doesn't that say anything? But I'm still captain. What would Inara think if she heard you were steering us?"

River pulled back from him then, as if he'd slapped her rather than caressed her. "Ahh yes, because you wouldn't want the others knowing your dirty little secret. Can't have them think you cohort with alliance fiends."

"Gorram it." Mal said turning and slamming the door shut to the bridge. "You two are gonna kill me, I swear!" He burst.

River scowled at him and took another step back, deeper into the bridge. "It's not my fault your little duì xiàng girlfriend is jealous. I've been nothing but a gorram innocent bystander."

"Duì xiàng?!" Mal snorted incredulously. "Duì xiàng?" He laughed a low angry laugh. "She's my passenger, not my girlfriend: A paying fare." He shook his head. "Maybe we had the potential for more once, but… that ain't the case now."

River shook her head disbelievingly. "I don't even care, it doesn't even matter to me."

Mal starred at her hard for a moment, and then, without another word he crossed the distance between them. He stood there, starring down at her, his eyes searching hers, and then, without another moment of hesitation he leaned down and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss, tentative and reserved of passion for fear of hurting her, but she leaned into it, bringing her free hand to his chest.

After what seemed like an eternity, they parted, both a little breathless and shaky. Mal's knees felt weak and River leaned back on the pilot's chair for support. "River..." He started, and stopped when he saw her smile. It lit up her whole face and took his breath away. He reached up, stroking her hair, letting his fingers lace through the silky tresses. "River stay with me tonight." He put a hand up before she could comment. "Not like that but... For near three weeks I've watched you sleep every night. Watched over you, sometimes even next to ya, but always apart."

"But what about..." River pointed out towards the hallway where she'd watched Inara and Mal kiss.

"Albatross," He said smiling at her. "I ain't a man who asks these things lightly. I know 'nara feels for me, but I can't help that, and if that's why you're mad I'm sorry, a thousand times again I'm sorry. But please," He said, leaning forward kissing her forehead. "I'm an old foolish man, I know, but... please."

River stood there, seeing the vulnerability in his eyes and wondering how they'd gotten there. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he'd entered the bridge and their course had begun, and yet it was only minutes. She reached up with her good hand and felt the soft skin of his cheek and the fresh stubble threatening just beneath the surface.

"I trust you Albatross, I promise."

With that, River nodded, leaning forward and kissing Mal's soft lips once more, before heading out of the bridge and down into his bunk.