Disclaimer: Still don't own the series.

Author's Note: I honestly don't know what to say about this chapter except that I'm beginning to like a lot of the small healing steps each of the characters are starting to take toward their individual interactions with each other. (Side note: Is anyone else watching Yuri on Ice? Holy mother of everything. My heart can't handle all of it. It's actually what's giving me more of my inspiration back. Who knows, maybe I'll write a fic for that anime as well. But goodness, I just can't even handle all the amazing things that have happened in that anime.) Anyway, hope you enjoy.

"Syuusuke, I need help."

Chapter Ten: Glimmer

Fuji was speechless for a while that Ryoma's mental health would be the toughest challenge for them to conquer together, but hadn't expected his former lover to admit he needed help. At first, it didn't seem real. Then, he was excited. Maybe soon their lives would return to normal.

"Ryoma," he said gently. "I promise we'll get you all the help you need."

He waited for some form of reaction from Ryoma. Every moment that passed by without acknowledgment of his words made him fear the other hadn't heard him or had withdrawn deep inside himself. He prayed it wasn't the latter. Fuji didn't know if he could handle a harder to reach Ryoma. Getting to this point had already been an exhausting process.

He didn't know how much strength he had left to handle the rest of the long journey ahead of them. However, he knew that he would have to hold on. For Ryoma. Fuji continued observing the other.

Ryoma returned his gaze. Fuji could see him trying to process something. The younger of the two opened his mouth and closed it several times. He didn't want to push the other into speaking.

Soft knocks at the door interrupted their thoughts. It was only then that Fuji remembered Sanada had been on his way over. He glanced briefly at Ryoma only to notice the other had withdrawn from him again.

Knowing it could be a while before he spoke again, Fuji moved to greet their guest. Sanada looked at him tenderly for a brief moment before looking away.

He shouldn't have tried to kiss Gen.

-Stand-

When Fuji had opened the door to the little apartment, Sanada felt like he was coming to greet his boyfriend. For the first time since they had split apart, he could see the two of them happily enjoying life.

Then the memory of what he did with Yukimura came crashing back. He couldn't face his former lover like this. Not after what he had done. Gen wasn't trying to win back his lovers. He was trying to be of some help.

He couldn't stop himself from being in love with Fuji.

You're going to do something you'll regret.

It was a risk he was highly aware of. And one he had to be willing to take in order to help Ryoma get better. If he could focus on that task maybe he could bury his feelings about Syuusuke.

He was allowed inside the apartment. It was surprising to see Ryoma up and actively in their presence. Usually, he was hidden away. He immediately could tell that there had already been a minor episode.

While Ryoma was present physically, there seemed to be some form of turmoil inside his youngest ex. He felt his heart drop. Hopefully, it wouldn't set Ryoma too far back in his recovery.

"Ryoma," he spoke softly. He didn't want to startle the other completely. It seems he did so anyway. Ryoma jumped at his words, snapping out of the internal hell which encumbered his former lover.

"Gen," Ryoma whispered. Though distant, he felt a surge of hope. His youngest lover looked between both him and Fuji, contemplating saying something.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, hoping to ease into a normal conversation. Gen sat on the loveseat, which was furthest away from Ryoma. Gen didn't want to scare the other.

"Better. Syuusuke took care of me."

He felt there was a deeper meaning behind Ryoma's words, but didn't press on the matter. He would ask Syuusuke later.

"He cares a great deal about you," Gen said, a smile on his face.

"I know."

The conversation went quiet after that. Fuji returned to the room with tea. He poured everyone a cup. Syuusuke and him had sipped theirs, waiting for their former lover to speak to them.

Ryoma's cup remained untouched.

"Kunimitsu's in the hospital."

-Stand-

Atobe stared at the unconscious man who remained perfectly still and covered in various bandages. He had stayed away for the first night, needing time to process all the exhausting events that had happened. He thought back to the conversation he had earlier with Ryoma. Keigo was certain by now, his youngest ex had told Syuusuke. Which meant only Gen had yet to be informed. He didn't know whether to call him or not.

What exactly was the protocol in these situations? They had technically separated, but their lives still remained intertwined in some way. They would never be fully free of each other, Atobe was convinced of that. However, so much of their future remained unclear.

One question, which remained unanswered, was Tezuka. His frown deepened as he continued to watch over the man. The door to the hospital slid open. Atobe lifted his gaze to acknowledge the nurse who walked in. She obviously recognized him and maintained a smile while looking over Kunimitsu.

"You're a very loyal friend, Atobe-san," she commented.

"I'm not a friend," Atobe remarked. "I'm his lover."

She stared at him, shock evident on her face.

"Please resume your care for him. These hours are important to his recovery," Keigo said harshly.

"O-Of course, Atobe-san."

She finished looking over Kunimitsu over his watchful glare. He knew he had no right to claim the position as Tezuka's lover, especially now. However, he wanted everything to work out between them.

All of us.

-Stand-

Ryoma waited for Syuusuke and Gen to say something in response to his news. He had struggled with how to tell them, but couldn't keep it from them. They had a right to know. Kunimitsu was their ex too. He doubted Keigo had the guts to call them.

But had he done the right thing? He had so much to tell them still, but he felt this was the most important to talk about first. Ryoma looked at Gen first. The man had hidden his true emotions from him. It wasn't often he couldn't read Gen's expression.

Next, he looked at Syuusuke, who had not taken the news well. One of the reasons he didn't want to tell them. His gentle ex was conflicted. Worry evident, but anger continued to creep up in Syuusuke's expression. He didn't know what to feel himself. Part of him wanted to stay here and pretend everything was all right. There was another part that wanted to see if their former lover was going to pull through.

-Stand-

Gen had heard what Echizen had told him and was still processing the information. He knew he should go visit the other in the hospital, at least to pay his respects. However, he knew Syuusuke likely wouldn't want to go. And sending Echizen alone was not an option. This news had been bothering his youngest ex for a while, which meant that Ryoma would want to go the most out of them.

But he knew Syuusuke needed support to stay with him. Fuji wouldn't want to see that man after what he did, not just yet.

"What do you want to do, Ryoma?" he asked, breaking the silence. "Do you want to see him?"

He watched Echizen continue the debate emotionally, before coming to a decision. It was a small nod of the head. He had no choice.

"I'll call Atobe," Gen announced.

He stepped out of the room to dial the businessman's number. Uncharacteristically of the businessman, Atobe answered on the first ring.

"Gen? Is everything all right?" Genuine concern. It had been so long since he heard such emotions from him. A small smile tugged at his lips.

"Fine. How about you?"

"Could be better."

"I heard about Kunimitsu," Gen stated.

Their conversations were always to the point. He didn't care to talk on the phone and always knew Keigo was busy.

"Ah." A lengthy pause before the other continued, "Did Ryoma tell you?"

"And Syuusuke," he answered.

A deep breath in. "How did they react?"

"Ryoma wants to see him."

"And Syuu?" Atobe asked, hopeful.

"He doesn't want to as far as I can tell."

A heavy sigh on the other end. "I thought as much."

"Could you send someone to pick up Ryoma while I stay here?"

"You don't want to come?"

"I do, but I need to stay with Syuusuke."

"I understand. What's the address?"

Gen gave it to the man.

"Thanks, I'll have someone there in fifteen minutes."

The call ended. He went back into the living room. Ryoma and Syuusuke had not moved since he left. Briefly, he wondered if all their time together was filled with sparse, awkward conversations. All of their previous problems revolved around communication.

Why couldn't they talk anymore?

"I called Atobe," he announced. "He said someone will be here in fifteen minutes so you can visit Kunimitsu."

"Thank you," Echizen muttered. Gen noticed the glance the younger man threw to Syuusuke, who didn't acknowledge the attention.

"I'll stay here with you, Syuusuke."

That sentence got Fuji's attention.

"Don't you want to go?" Syuusuke whispered.

He shrugged, feigning indifference. Gen knew his desires didn't matter at the moment. Right now, he was tasked with making sure both Ryoma and Syuusuke would be able to handle the rocky road ahead. Gen was willing to give them everything he had just to see them happy in the future.

"It won't do us any good to all go there right now. There are still a lot of things that need to be discussed. In a hospital is not one the place to do so," he answered.

They seemed to accept that answer. Or ignored it. He wasn't sure given they had resorted back to silence.

-Stand-

Ryoma looked at Syuusuke once again. He couldn't tell if the other cared that he had decided to visit the man who attacked Fuji. He wanted to know if what he was doing was right or wrong. But the other person seemed content on ignoring him. Giving up, he left the room to change and get ready for the visit.

When Keigo said someone would be there at a certain time, there was no wiggle room. He finished getting ready just in time to hear several firm knocks at the door. Ryoma went back out to the living room to answer the door.

He wasn't prepared to see Keigo himself at the door. While he knew that eventually he would meet Atobe at the hospital, Ryoma didn't think the businessman would leave Kunimitsu's side just to pick him up.

"You came to pick me up yourself," he stated.

Way to state the obvious.

"Yes, I figured it would be easier this way," Keigo answered. Ryoma studied the other man, who looked as tired as he felt. And it hurt. Hurt to see Keigo this way. No matter the distance between them, Ryoma could never stand the sight of one of his boyfriends in pain.

Ex-boyfriend.

"Thanks," he muttered. Ryoma noticed Keigo searching the room, looking at Gen and Syuusuke who both acknowledged the other's presence.

"Thank you for picking up Ryoma," Gen said.

"My pleasure."

Ryoma stared at Keigo. For the first time in several months, he genuinely believed Keigo meant that.

They left the apartment after quick goodbyes and rode to the hospital in silence. He was aware Keigo was staring at him, probably hoping for him to speak. But he didn't know what to say. There weren't words to describe his reasoning for everything.

"Are you all right, Ryoma?" Keigo asked. Again, genuine concern. Why was Atobe acting nice now? Where was this a year ago? He met the other's stare and nodded.

"You look like hell," he commented.

"Feel like it too."

Ryoma didn't know how to respond to that other than to reach out and hold Keigo's hand.

-Stand-

Syuusuke wasn't sure what the next steps were in this situation. He wanted to stop Ryoma from going, but knew it wasn't fair of him to ask that. So he kept his mouth shut and hoped the other would stay.

He didn't.

Now he was alone with Gen, a man he still obviously cared for. He didn't want another mishap like last time. He took in a couple of breaths to put those thoughts away for now. He wasn't going to let anything happen. The focus had to be on Ryoma.

"Do you think it was all right to send him with Atobe?" Gen intoned out loud. He hadn't expected the insecurity in Sanada's voice. But it was there.

Of course, he didn't have an answer. They would just have to wait and see.

"We can't watch over him all the time."

"I suppose not."

But who knows what will happen.

"Thanks for coming today," he spoke. He didn't want the conversation to stop. If it did, he would start thinking again—thinking about all the things he shouldn't. He needed the conversation to remain focused on Ryoma as much as possible.

"It's no problem. How are things with Ryoma?"

For once, Syuusuke knew how to answer.

"Better," he said with a smile. "He said he wanted help."

He looked at his former lover, who didn't bother to hide the small smile on his face. A warm feeling washed over him.

Maybe everything will work out.

But deep down, he felt something was wrong.

To be continued...