Chen found that things had gotten moving much more swifter than she had thought as the next couple of weeks rolled by since her. Her responsibilities over the base had significantly dropped with Koenig on equal grounding; over seeing the base though she still oversaw Coulson.
Though it annoyed her that Coulson hadn't yet informed her of her next session with Andrew… she knew the shifts in her responsibilities were due to his evaluation; she had read her copy though it had helped her balance of her mental scales from the stress.
Having Skye know… did help on some degree but it didn't change anything in the long run. With her time table much more free; Chen kept up her intense training with Skye. Though Chen found out Coulson had put her into looking into the writing, she had Skye put out a few tabs on resurrection abilities and connections to lakes; going broad so all angles could be covered. If there was a chance someone knew how powers came about, spontaneously or not, she wanted to know.
That said, there hadn't been much feed back but Chen was staying positive. Keeping busy. Coulson had put Hartley and her team undercover; a former SHIELD agent selling tech had been on the radar so they were looking into that. What becomes of that had yet to be seen.
Chen hadn't had many other major Panic attacks since her talk with Skye, mostly with Coulson now away with recruitment and other over sea matters; he wasn't around to trigger her so she was much more comfortable. Fitz was still working on Cloaking but still, hitting a few bumps; mostly with the bits she didn't understand.
Trip, while busy, had began to talk to her more. Since the start she had noticed his distance from her. Only really had talked on business than personal. Though she hadn't talked to him a lot even when she was May. So getting to know him was more… genuine. Nice even.
She liked being someone else… Being Melinda May, she had formed a shell around herself; a stone reputation she hated which had given herself restrictions. Not that anything but herself had made her keep to it for self comfort. Being someone else, it now allowed her that breathing room to explore without any looks or comments, or anything that could be wildfire gossip.
It was easy to tell when Skye forgot who she really was occasionally, her face and new persona made it easy. Skye today though, she was having some time from base; where, she didn't know.
"Hey, Chen. Got time for a drink?" A voice called, bringing Chen from her thoughts to see it was Trip; two beers in hand.
Chen looked to the clock, chewing her lip a moment. "I got about 5 more minutes left.."
Trip shrugged. "It's okay five minutes, put down that pen and take a swig." He probed, smiling at her holding the bottle out.
Chen gave him a look. "You do realize we're on duty."
"Doesn't mean we can enjoy ourselves from time to time. Plus, You have an appointment with your head doctor in two hours…"
Chen's eyebrow rose. "Wait, Coulson told you that?"
Trip shrugged. "I may have overheard him on the phone with Koenig…"
Chen groaned softly, taking the offered beer, making Trip chuckle as she took a heavy swig. Pushing her papers away from her, leaning away with sour expression.
"You don't like him?" Trip guessed, taking a sip of his own, relaxing into a neighbouring chair in front of her.
Chen shrugged. "No… it's been a few weeks. Not sure how long I'll stay without walking out again."
Trip nodded softly. "Well, would you like me to drive you?"
"I can drive myself, you know...and fly." Chen answered, though Trip gave her a look.
"I wasn't doubting your abilities and, Agent Chen." Trip answered softly. "Just here for some...emotional support."
Taking a swig from the bottle again before placing it down, Chen sighed deeply. "I don't know… I don't think we're too close for that sort of thing."
"Then why don't we talk ourselves to that level. You've been busy lately, take a breather from it. Plus, 7 days without any form panic or anxiety attack so which is good." There was no patronizing in his voice; nor did she expect any, despite what he said.
"Yippy." She mumbled, running her finger over the top of her bottle. She could feel Trip's stare for the moment, the calculating look.
"My favorite colour… " he started, ignoring her sarcasm "well, I'd have to say orange. Specifically Blood Orange you get in sun sets."
Chen tilted her head, surprised a little. "I would have thought Green or blue to be your sort of thing."
Trip chuckled "I like them, I won't deny but that orange brings me a load of good memories. What about you, your favorite colour?"
She looked to him for a moment then sighed, Trip wasn't going to give up so easily it seemed; even with his good intentions. Though she knew her favorite colour… it wasn't hard. "Violet." She sighed after a moment, keeping her eyes on the rim of her bottle.
"Oh?" There was a note in his voice; betraying that he didn't think she'd go for that colour too.
"When I was younger I loved the Cranesbill Patricia flowers that grew in the gardens, Violet was…my mother's favorite. She'd often pick them and have them on our table when we eat dinner." Chen explained softly then sighed.
Trip hummed airily for a moment, thinking as he drunk more of his beer. Chen did too, her eyes falling onto her paperwork. Clicking her pen closed, she dropped it into the pot and began to collect the sheets together.
"How's Skye doing with her training?"
Chen looked up to him again. "Good. Hand to hand has very much improved. I'm pleased how driven she is."
"She's a motivated woman." Trip agreed softly.
"Weapons training... I haven't done as much. I want her to prefer using hand to hand; less lethal but I'll get her used to the other weapons to cover her needs in a case of emergency."
"You don't like guns?"
Chen shrugged. "I prefer ICERs in comparison. But it depends on how dire the situation is or what I'm facing. If I was trapped in a room, surrounded by Hydra agents; Guns are my favorite weapon. If I'm trapped in a room by brainwashed SHIELD agents then… ICER."
Trip looked at her a moment. "Fair enough." He agreed with a short nod though Chen saw his eyes flicker to something behind her, turning to see Koenig backtrack into the room; no doubt passing in search for her.
"Agent Chen, Your due your next Therapy appointment, best get going. It;s off base and at the university."
Chen rolled her eyes, glad that Trip had been the one to tell her first than Koenig launching it on her suddenly. "Alright.. I know where I'm going." She answered, so not to be told by Koenig. After all, it wouldn't be out the ordinary to know where Andrew worked.
"Will you let me drive?" Trip asked as she stood.
Chen sighed deeply. "Fine. But you'll not enter the building." She warned, grabbing her leather and took the lead past Billy
"I can make that deal." he agreed with a chuckle, trailing after her.
Getting to the university hadn't taken as much time as Chen had anticipated; which was odd though she left Trip in the SUV and headed straight into the building. Knocking at the door that had Dr Garner on it though waited until she hard his voice to enter to open the door.
Andrew was at his desk, looking through notes though he smiled softly when he saw her.
"Agent Chen. Wasn't expecting you for another...5 minutes. Please take a seat."
Chen shut the door behind her though slowly moved into the room, looking around his office. It was weird, being in there… it had been so long. Before bahrain from what she last remembered. Slipping into the seat, Chen looked back to Andrew who turned over a new page.
"Thanks for making the effort out. I know it's been a busy time." Andrew started.
Chen just nodded. "Coulson's lack of communication really." SHe answered bluntly. "He's taken most of your… recommendations so far."
Andrew nodded, "Are the new changes helping you in terms of your stress levels?"
Chen shrugged. "It's been odd. Lots more free time than I need; I'm finding it odd to fill."
"Days off out of SHIELD?" He probed.
Chen shook her head. "No, I don't really see much of the point leaving the base…"
Andrew tilted his head. "Please, Explain why."
Chen huffed. "We can't use our planes at the moment, Our technician hasn't perfected the tech we need to use it and I don't want to draw attention to the base more than we need to."
"SHIELD isn't a life, permanently speaking." Andrew spoke. "Do you have a home? Outside."
Chen looked to his desk a moment sighing. "I… haven't been home for a long while. Too far to go for single day."
Which wasn't a lie… it was too far to just pop back and forth. It was the only place that was close to her place of rebirth… though she wasn't sure if she ever liked that wording… rebirth.
Closer to respawning than rebirth…
Andrew lent back a moment though she could tell he was going for a new angle. "Before you walked out last time, you mentioned a lake…"
Chen looked away, crossing her arms. She had slipped up… of course he had noticed that. "I did." She answered, her tone closing.
"Coulson never brought up anything to do with a lake with my briefing on you when we first met, I assume this isn't something you told him."
Her jaw stayed clenched, starting just past him.
"What happened?" Andrew asked softly. "I'm going from the facts here. He attacked you.. You passed out and you woke up in a lake." He clarified. "I can't imagine that would have been good to experience…waking up from an attack like that… to that"
"He thought I was dead." Chen answered out, her tone tighter, her hands clenching a little, eyeing the door.
"He was trying to… forgive me for this harsh word but… dispose of your body?" That sat him up a little but it took a moment before she nodded stiffly.
It was logical that it could be perceived as that… and she could work with it. Though she could see the many many flaws it's have. Human bodies had limits.
"I assume so.." She spoke.
"What did you do after you woke?"
Chen sighed, closing her eyes. "Got out the water… needed to find some clothes. I was bear ass naked." She shook her head. "Stole a picnic blanket too… called my Mom." She sighed out deeply.
"Why not the cops?" There was a hint of curiosity in his tone though heavily masked.
"I was naked at a public lake. I would have been arrested for streaking." Chen answered.
Andrew shook his head. "Not strictly true, Chen. It would have been obvious to day something happened out of your control that had you in this situation."
Chen's eyes flickered open. "No."
Andrew's eyebrow raised. "No?"
"There would have been nothing for them to do but document it and let it sit on a shelf with dead leads. I needed to call someone who could care for me… Someone i knew I could fully trust. I don't have faith in the cops because they wouldn't provide the emotional care I needed. They would only want the hard cold facts I couldn't provide. I could hardly speak and… still trying to process what had happened."
While it surprised her more that she could talk like this so freely, but the fact she gave him more truthes than lies…
"You seem less agitated in this season than last... " Andrew noted, change the topic away for a moment.
"Coulson's been off base the last couple of weeks." Chen answered. "Recruitment mostly so he has to meet face-to-face."
"What do you feel? When he's away?"
"Relief." Chen shrugged. "Less… on edge i suppose."
"Has that helped? Being away from him?"
Chen nodded after a second thought. "I haven't had a Panic attack or faint for the last 7 days…. He's been away all through that."
"But you have in the last couple weeks then?"
"Sometimes at night, I wake up in what crappy sleep i get; i suppose it… just comes back to haunt me to let me know it's still there.." Chen shook her head.
"But do you feel like that you've made some progression?"
Chen fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "I.. talk to Skye more."
"You've opened up to someone, which is good. It means you're not bottling it all up. Bottling up can lead to increasing stress and induce more anxiety which will press onto your panic attacks and bad dreams." Andrew spoke, leaning onto his arms on his desk.
"I know what bottling up with do to my mental State, Dr Garner." Chen spoke back, though moved her hands from fiddling with her shirt to fold her arms over her chest. "I can handle it."
Andrew said nothing more a moment but Chen didn't look to him, not wanting to see what expression he was wearing.
"You don't have to handle it alone, Chen." He spoke softly but Chen didn't answer him…. Hoping that the session would end soon; feeling almost done with talking about her feelings.
Leaving though, that was a breath of fresh air though Chen knew Andrew could tell she wasn't going to talk much longer.
Though it took a moment to find the SUV and hopping in, she saw Trip was deep asleep in the back though she did see a small bunch of violet flowers on the passenger seat which made her smile.
Okay, for those that don't know. I've changed May's Chen FC from Bai Ling. The FC now is Ziyi Zhang. The picture is available i think on my bio.