Note: chapter title from "give me love" by ed sheeran.

10. lately I've been craving more

… … …

It takes Damon twenty minutes and three attempts to finally get up the nerve to knock on her door.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where Stefan went after their blow up last night, and when he came home even angrier than before, Damon guessed that things maybe didn't go so well. He contemplated checking on Stefan first this morning, but honestly, he doesn't really care to speak to his brother right now. Besides, Elena's the one who probably got blindsided by Stefan's misplaced anger and became collateral damage in a fight that had nothing to do with her. If anyone deserves his concern, it's Elena.

When she answers the door, he realizes that his concern is entirely valid. It's almost eleven a.m., and she's not even dressed. Her face is void of makeup and he can tell she was up all night crying. (Still beautiful, in case anyone's wondering.) He feels a pang of sympathy for her, wonders what the hell Stefan said that made her so upset.

"Hi," she croaks. Yep, definitely some crying going on.

"Hi," he smiles. "Nice pajamas."

Her cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. "Sorry. Wasn't expecting any visitors." She attempts a smile, somewhat succeeds. "What are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you."

"Me?" Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Aren't you, like, genetically obligated to be on Stefan's side of all this?"

Damon snorts. "Whatever 'genetic' obligation we have to each other obviously doesn't mean shit." He tilts his head to the side, studies her for a moment. "Can I come in?"

Elena pulls the door open a bit wider, and he follows her into the living room, where she sits down on the couch. "Sorry it's a bit of a mess."

He sits down next to her. "Where is everyone?"

"Alaric and Jenna went to lunch with Jeremy and Anna." She picks at the fabric of the sofa.

He studies her face, frowns at her troubled expression. "What happened last night, Elena?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She frowns. "Stefan stormed in here like a wrecking ball. Something must have happened at home that riled him up like that."

"Yeah, I have a few ideas," Damon mumbles.

"What is going on, Damon?"

He sighs. "Dad got a little…" he chooses his words carefully. "Upset when Stefan got home last night. May or may not have shoved his head into a cabinet."

Elena winces. "I gathered that much."

"And then when I came in to check on him, he kind of pounced on me."

She raises one eyebrow. "Pounced?"

"As in, he decided we were going to hash out five years' worth of brotherly angst all at once."

"Oh." Elena manages a half smile. "And how did that go?"

"About as horribly as expected, if not worse." Damon runs his fingers through his hair, turns his body to face her. "I'm sorry you got dragged into the middle of this. He shouldn't have come here and dumped on you."

"No, he absolutely should have," she argues. "He's my best friend. I'm supposed to be there for him in times like that, and therein lies the problem."

Damon furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" she sighs in frustration. "I mean I've been so caught up in my own drama, between spending time with you and keeping secrets from Stefan, and Caroline's relationship issues, and Bonnie's unrequired crush that I've hardly paid any attention to what Stefan's been going through. Which is a lot, if you haven't noticed."

Damon studies her. "So you have your own problems. You're allowed, you know."

"That's not the point," she says. "The point is that Stefan is the one person who has been there for me through everything. Everything. And when he needs me the most, I'm nowhere to be found."

"That's not true," Damon counters. "You're probably a better friend to all of us than anyone deserves."

"Yeah, well, you said it yourself last week," she mumbles. "I have a hell of a way of showing it."

"Stop that," Damon snaps. "I'm an idiot, okay? That's been well established. I say stupid things I don't mean when I'm pissed off." He sighs, tries to moderate his frustration. "Listen to me. Stefan might be your best friend, but he doesn't have to be the center of your universe, okay? You're entitled to get caught up in your own issues every once in a while. Hell, if you ask me, you've been caught up in Stefan's issues for far too long. It's about time you get some drama of your own."

That gets a short laugh out of her, and he wants to grin triumphantly, but he resists. "I can't just abandon him when he needs me, Damon."

"You're not abandoning him," Damon groans. "Jesus Christ. What is it with that idiot thinking everyone's abandoning him all the time?" He takes her hand in his, and it forces her to look him in the eyes. "Look, Stefan was angry with me last night, not you. He was probably angry with Dad, too. But I promise you, he'll come around. He can't stay away from you for very long." He smiles at her. "Must be a in the Salvatore genes somewhere."

She's just looking at him, her lips parted in surprise, or awe, or gratitude. He can't really tell, but she's so fucking beautiful he doesn't know what to do with himself. Part of him thinks if he kissed her right now, she'd probably let him. But she's confused, and upset, and he doesn't need to add to any of that by changing the rules of the game. (Doesn't mean he doesn't want to, with every fiber of his being.)

He clears his throat. "Right. Have you eaten?"

Elena just stares at him for a moment, seems to snap out of a trance. She shakes her head. "No."

"Good," he smirks. "Because I make a mean bacon and cheese omelet, Miss Gilbert. You're in for a treat."

… … …

Elena feels a hundred times better - probably better than she deserves - by the time she meets Caroline and Bonnie at the Grill on Saturday afternoon for a debrief. Damon's visit was just what she needed to get her off her ass, and the breakfast he made her certainly helped to lift her spirits. She still feels a twinge of pain in her chest when she thinks about Stefan, but at least she's stopped wallowing in it. Now, what she needs is a little advice from her girlfriends on how to move forward from all this.

"So the Salvatore brothers had a little spat last night, did they?" Caroline begins, sipping her vanilla milkshake.

Elena sighs. "More like a shouting match." She closes her eyes, rubs her temples. "I don't even know where to start."

"Well, what did Stefan say when he barged into your house?" Bonnie wonders.

"Basically that I'm the worst friend ever." She removes the wrapper from her milkshake straw, twirls it around her fingers. "He's right, though. I am."

"You are not," Caroline frowns. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, we can start with the fact that I've been lying to him and sneaking around with his brother for the last month and a half," Elena snaps.

"Oh, please." Bonnie rolls her eyes. "I mean, it certainly won't win you any good friend points, but I hardly think that makes you the worst friend ever. So you handled the situation the wrong way. There's still time to fix it."

"Just tell him what's going on," Caroline agrees. "He's already blown up at you. The worst that can happen is he stays mad for a little while longer."

"I can't." Elena shakes her head. "No way. He'll never forgive me."

"I think you grossly overestimate the magnitude of the situation," Bonnie argues. "So you snuck around with Damon and lied. So what? No one's getting hurt. If that's grounds for Stefan ending your friendship, you probably shouldn't be friends in the first place."

"You don't understand," Elena insists. "There's so much history there… so much that they haven't worked out yet. Especially after they just blew up at each other. Stefan would be furious. I can't betray him that way."

"You already did," Caroline reminds her. "And yeah, maybe we don't know the whole story, but if you ask me, it doesn't really matter. It's not your responsibility to tip toe around whatever their baggage is. If you've moved past it, you should be allowed to hang out with Damon if you want. Stefan doesn't control you."

"I know that," Elena sighs, exasperated. "I just… we need to get past this first before I can tell him anything else."

She watches as Bonnie and Caroline exchange a look of annoyance. "Fine. Since he obviously doesn't know about this whole mess, what were his reasons for calling you the worst friend ever?"

"I haven't been there for him," Elena recites. "He's been struggling a lot with his dad, and with…" she looks at Caroline, who widens her eyes subtly, and decides to go a different route. "…this whole football thing, and then his blow up with Damon last night. I've been kind of busy lately, and I haven't been there for him like he needed me to be."

"So you're supposed to put your life on hold because Stefan's life is complicated?" Bonnie scoffs. "You've got your own things to worry about, Elena."

"Yeah, but Stefan's my best friend," she says. Why doesn't anyone else understand this concept? "He's been there for me through everything, no questions asked. He needs me, and I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff that I didn't even notice."

Caroline rolls her eyes. "Look, Stefan's great, but there's no reason why you should be at his beck and call twenty-four seven," she argues. "Just because you're his best friend doesn't mean you're not allowed to have your own issues, Elena."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Elena says.

"Well!" Bonnie throws her hands up in exasperation. "If everyone's saying it, then when are you finally gonna believe it?"

The conversation soon moves to other matters - like how Enzo finally asked Bonnie out on a date, and they're going out tonight - but those words still echo in Elena's head. She's heard it multiple times from multiple sources today, and she starts to wonder if maybe they're right. Just because Stefan has things going on doesn't mean she's supposed to put her entire life on hold to be there for him. Wasn't she just thinking a few days ago that he hadn't really sought her out lately? And yeah, maybe she's been a little bit unavailable, but she's been busy. Maybe Stefan's so used to being her only friend that he's not sure what to do with himself now that she's branching out.

Either way, one of them is going to have to apologize at some point. It's just a matter of who's gonna crack first.

… … …

Caroline thinks (no, she knows) that she's a little bit of a hypocrite. She keeps telling Elena to stop worrying about what Stefan thinks and focus on what's best for herself, when Caroline herself can't take her own advice. She likes Stefan. More than she really wants to admit, actually. But she doesn't want to wait around for him, and she's annoyed that he won't just make a move already.

As she's leaving the Grill, she spots Stefan in a corner booth. She's just decided she's going to go say hello when she looks a little closer and realizes he's sitting there with Rebekah. Just like the other day in the hallway, they're talking and laughing and having a grand old time. Two things flash through her mind: one, how can Stefan be so happy and carefree when Elena just spent the whole day agonizing over their friendship? And two, what the hell is she doing waiting around for a guy who says he likes her, but seemingly can't seem to stay away from another girl?

So that's it, she decides. If he doesn't like her enough to want to be with her, she won't waste her time waiting around for him. Not when she has other options that are readily available to her.

She pulls out her phone and sends off a quick text, smirking to herself. Caroline Forbes doesn't let anyone else control her. She's taking control of her own life, and she feels better already.

… … …

When Bonnie drops Elena off at her house later that afternoon, she's surprised to find Stefan waiting for her on her front porch. She panics for a moment. She hasn't fully decided what she wants to say to him, how she wants this conversation to go. She knows she has some apologizing to do, but she won't let him blame this whole thing on her. The fact that he's the one here to see her tells her she probably doesn't have anything to worry about.

"You okay?" Bonnie asks, eyeing Stefan from the corner of her eye.

Elena takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine. Gotta work things out sooner or later, right?" She smiles at her friend.

Bonnie smiles back. "Call me later."

Elena nods and gets out of the car, turning to face her best friend. He looks up, meets her eyes, and she can already see the apology written across his forehead. She can't help the small smile that she gives him. "Hey."

"Hey," he says. She sits down on the porch steps next to him. "You okay?"

"I'd be better if my best friend wasn't so upset with me," she tells him, her brow furrowed. "What the hell happened last night, Stefan?"

He sighs. "I don't even know," he confesses. "I really don't. My Dad had his typical hissy fit after the game last night, and the anger just escalated from there. Damon set me off, and then we ended up talking about you somehow, and I just…" he sighs again, turns to face her. "You're not the worst friend ever, okay? I didn't mean any of that."

"I know you didn't."

"But I've missed you lately," he says honestly. "I know you're busy, and I know that your life doesn't revolve around me. You've got other friends now, and don't get me wrong, I think that's awesome. I just feel like maybe you've forgotten about me a little bit."

Elena softens her gaze, parts her lips in surprise. "Stefan."

"I know," he says sheepishly, his cheeks pink. "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid," she says. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. Hey," she says, so he brings his gaze up to meet hers. "You're my best friend, Stefan. Yes, I'm hanging out with Bonnie and Caroline, and I've got cheerleading and tutoring and other obligations. But you are still my best friend, and if you need me, I am always here for you." She smiles a little. "I just might not be right there next to you, like I always have been."

Stefan nods. "I know. I'm sorry," he says.

"I know. Me too." He pulls her in for a hug, and she closes her eyes, smiles to herself. This is the Stefan she knows and loves.

She pulls back to smile at him. "Celebratory Scrabble tournament?"

He laughs. "You're on."

… … …

When Stefan gets home from Elena's house that evening, he feels a million times better than he did this morning. He completely overreacted and dragged Elena into an argument that had nothing to do with her. It was a good thing though, he thinks, because it allowed him to air some grievances he'd been struggling with. He wishes he'd handled it differently, but at least everything's out in the open now.

He figures since he's already on the apology train, he might as well keep it going. He knocks on Damon's door.

"Yeah?"

He pushes open Damon's door, finds him sitting at his desk working on calculus, of all things. Stefan smirks. "Homework, Damon? On a Saturday? Really?"

Damon rolls his eyes. "What can I say? My tutor has been a good influence on me."

Stefan nods, looks around for a moment. "Wanna go up to the school and practice for a little while?"

Damon's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Uh, yeah. Okay. Just let me change and then we can go."

Stefan doesn't really know what he wants to say to his brother. He doesn't really think he needs to apologize - he still hasn't quite processed the things Damon said, the difference in opinion they have over the way things happened years ago. It'll take a few more frank conversations like that before they truly understand each other, but he thinks they've made some good strides in the right direction.

As they're warming up, Damon breaks the silence between them. "So, guess you're not mad at me anymore."

Stefan rolls his eyes, throws the ball back to his brother. "I wasn't really mad at you," he admits. "I was mad at Dad, and I took it out on you."

Damon hums his dissent. "I'm pretty sure you were mad at me, too."

"Okay, so maybe that was five years' worth of anger and confusion coming at you all at once." He stares at his brother. "I won't apologize, though. I meant what I said."

Damon nods. "I won't apologize, either, because I meant what I said."

Stefan mulls that over, catches the ball Damon throws his way. He nods. "Fair enough."

"Did you apologize to Elena?"

Stefan furrows his brow, throws the ball back. "How did you know about that?"

Damon shrugs. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where you disappeared to, and since you came back even angrier than before… I just read between the lines."

Stefan eyes him suspiciously for a moment before he remembers all those comments about his paranoia. He decides not to read too much into it. "Yeah, I apologized. It wasn't fair of me to take it out on her. But it was good because I finally got to confront her about some things that have been bothering me lately."

Damon furrows his brow, throws the ball back to Stefan. "You mean that stuff you were talking about the other day?"

Stefan nods. "She apologized for being so absent, but I don't really see it changing anytime soon. And I still have this weird nagging feeling that there's something she's not telling me."

"You should go easy on her." Damon catches the ball Stefan throws his way. "Maybe it's just something she can't tell you yet."

"Yeah, maybe." For some reason, Stefan doesn't like the direction this conversation is headed, so he decides to change the subject. "So, you've got a tutor?"

Damon's face goes blank for a second before he relaxes again. "Yeah," he responds. "Can't have another run-in with Dad about my grades, now can I?"

"Wouldn't want that." Stefan smirks. "You still trying to get a scholarship?"

"Hell yeah." Damon backs up a little, throws a perfect spiral to his brother. "Gotta get as far away from our twisted family as possible."

Yeah, Stefan thinks in agreement. He can't say he blames him.

… … …

Caroline doesn't know why she's so nervous. This was her idea, after all. This is what she wants. So why does she feel like she shouldn't be here right now?

She's been standing in front of his front door for the last five minutes, trying to gather up all her courage. She runs her fingers through her hair one more time, smooths her hands down the front of her dress, rolls her eyes at herself. It doesn't really matter what she looks like at this point. Just do it already. Before she loses her nerve, she knocks on the door.

He opens it looking more beautiful than he has any right to be. Now that she's given in, she's really allowing herself to see how incredibly gorgeous he is, how his green eyes sparkle with arrogance and mischief and how sexy it is. He leans against the door frame, smirks at her. "Now this is a sight I've waited ages for."

"Weeks does not equate to ages, Klaus," she says haughtily, pushes her way past him into the house. "Now. The rules."

"Rules?" Klaus' eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "I think the parameters of the act are pretty straightforward, love."

Caroline holds her hand up, takes a deep breath. "We're not dating. You are not my boyfriend. This is strictly a physical relationship."

Klaus smirks again. "I can work with that."

"You will not flirt with me in the hallways like you have some sort of claim over me. You are not allowed to be jealous when I talk to other guys." Klaus purses his lips in dismay, but doesn't say anything. "No cuddling, no spending the night."

Klaus rolls his eyes. "Have you quite finished?"

Caroline mulls it over. She had a few more things in mind, but none that can't wait for later. "As long as you understand the terms of our agreement."

He smirks at her. "Clear as a bell."

"Good."

And then she's kissing him, and he's burying his hands in her hair, and she's tugging at his shirt and they're stumbling up the stairs and into his bedroom, and she can't help but smirk to herself. She forgot how nice it is to feel sexy, to feel wanted. It's just what she needs to cure her of pointless unrequited crushes. Take that, Stefan Salvatore.

… … …

It's late when Jenna and Alaric finally get home from their day with Jeremy. Elena's mindlessly flipping through the television channels when they come through the front door. "Hey," Jenna greets.

"Hey," Elena responds. "How's Jeremy?"

"He misses you," Jenna says pointedly, and Elena shrinks down in her seat a little bit. She knew he wouldn't be happy that she'd skipped out on lunch with him. To be honest, she's regretting it a little bit - she would have liked the opportunity to see her big brother and her little nephew. "I'm glad you're feeling better, though. I'm gonna go take a shower."

Jenna heads up the stairs, and Alaric takes a seat beside her. "You seem to be in a better mood."

Elena nods, turns the television off. "Stefan and I worked things out."

"Good, I'm glad." Alaric watches her carefully. "When you say worked things out…"

"He still doesn't know, Ric," she snaps.

"Hey," Alaric scolds, furrowing his brow at her.

Elena sighs, leans back against the couch. "Sorry," she mumbles. "I'm just so sick of thinking about this whole situation."

"Well, there's an easy fix for that," Alaric reminds her.

Elena rolls her eyes. "Yeah, says you and everyone else. You don't understand what's at stake here."

Abruptly, Elena's phone vibrates on the coffee table, startling both of them. Damon's name lights up her phone screen. She wonders why he's calling, then reaches over to silence the vibrations, but not before Alaric catches sight of her screen. "Elena."

"I know," she groans. "I know."

"I'm not trying to upset you, honey," he assures her. She looks up at him. "I just don't understand what you're doing, or why you're doing it."

"You know," she sighs. "The longer this goes on, the more I don't even know what I'm doing."

"Well, then maybe you should think about that." She feels his eyes on her, but she can't meet them. He leans over, kisses the top of her head. "I'm headed to bed. Just think about it, okay?"

She nods, looks over her shoulder as he heads up the stairs. She sighs out loud, rubs her temples in exhaustion. She doesn't want to think about this anymore. She and Stefan are in a good place now, and she's not willing to screw that up right now. She doesn't know when the right time to tell him will be - to be honest, there might not ever be a good time. She's starting to realize that, and instead of pushing her to tell him, it just makes her want to avoid that moment for as long as she possibly can.

She picks up her phone, sees the missed call from Damon and notices a follow-up text. You up?

She can't help the smile that spreads across her face. She hits the callback button and lifts the phone to her ear.

"Hey."

"Hi," she says quietly. "You rang?"

He chuckles. "Just checking in on you. Stefan said you two worked things out."

"Yeah, I think we're good," she tells him. "I'm guessing that means you and Stefan are speaking again."

"We had a practice session this evening," he confirms. "We basically just agreed to disagree."

"Well that's progress, I guess," she comments, picking at the fabric of the sofa absentmindedly. "At least he's heard your side of it now."

"Yeah, at least," Damon agrees. "So you're feeling better?"

"Much," she assures him. "That omelet this morning really did the trick."

"Oh, yeah?" She can practically hear him smirking through the phone. "Glad I could be of service."

"Seriously, thank you for checking on me this morning," she continues. "You really didn't have to."

"I told you, I was worried about you," he says softly. "I know things have been weird lately."

"Not weird," she disagrees. "Just… different."

"Good different?"

"Very good different," she smiles.

At some point she heads up to bed, and they talk and talk and talk until eventually it's past midnight and they finally hang up. She feels giddy. The more time she spends with him, the more comfortable they become with one another, and the more she thinks that maybe what she's feeling for him isn't entirely unrequited. She doesn't really know, and she might not ever know, but she's trying not to overthink it. Ha, she thinks to herself. Fat chance.

… … …

When Elena wakes up on Sunday morning, she has three missed calls from Bonnie and a barrage of texts from both Bonnie and Caroline. From the general idea of the texts, she gets the feeling that things with Enzo didn't go so well the night before. So that's how she finds herself at the breakfast table with Caroline and Bonnie as Alaric makes his famous breakfast spread.

"Is it ever weird to you that your history teacher is the one who makes your breakfast in the morning?" Caroline says with a smirk, loud enough that Alaric can hear them.

"It's more weird that the one who makes me breakfast in the morning is also my history teacher," Elena clarifies, and Bonnie laughs.

"I can hear you," Alaric reminds them from behind the stove.

"I know," Elena smirks.

"So tell us again what happened with Enzo," Caroline prompts. "And don't leave anything out."

Bonnie scoffs. "Trust me, there aren't any juicy details to share." She picks a strawberry out of the fruit salad in front of her. "We were halfway through dinner at the Grill when he got a phone call and had to leave because of a 'family emergency.'" She sighs. "The worst part is that I thought we were actually enjoying ourselves. Obviously not, if he bailed so quickly."

"How do you know he didn't actually have a family emergency?" Elena asks, looking at her friend quizzically.

"It was the way he said it," Bonnie insists. "Like there was something he didn't want me to know."

"Maybe it's just too personal for a first date," Caroline reasons.

"Or maybe you're right and he really doesn't like you at all," Elena teases.

"You both suck." Bonnie rolls her eyes. "Look, he lives right down the street, right? I'm just gonna go over there and find out what the hell happened. If he doesn't like me, he can tell me to my face." She storms out of the house on a mission, and Caroline and Elena exchange a look of disbelief.

"No one can say that girl doesn't have a backbone," Alaric comments. "She could be walking into a lion's den and not even know it."

"She can take care of herself," Caroline says flippantly. "How are the pancakes coming, Mr. Saltzman?"

"Please, it's Ric outside of school," Alaric insists. "Mr. Saltzman just makes me feel like a creepy teacher hanging out with students outside of class."

"Isn't that what you are?" Elena teases.

Alaric points his spatula at her menacingly. "You better watch it."

Elena gasps dramatically, and Alaric scowls at her. She turns back to Caroline with a smirk. "You think she'll get anything out of him?"

Caroline shrugs. "Enzo's pretty private. No one really knows that much about him. Maybe he likes her enough that he'll tell her what's really going on."

They get their answer when they're in the middle of eating. Bonnie comes barreling through the door, her face ashen and vacant. Caroline and Elena watch her carefully as she slowly approaches the table, takes her seat, stares blankly ahead. It's like she's not seeing anything. Elena leans over from her place next to her, waves her hand in front of Bonnie's face. She snaps out of whatever trance she's in, turns to face her friend. Elena looks at her expectantly. "Well?"

Bonnie swallows. "I…" she stops, takes a deep breath, looks at her friends. "He has a daughter."

… … …

Note: halfway through! stick with me, things are about to heat up!