Yo! Welcome to Chapter 10 of 'Drugtionary'! The milestone of all milestones, aside from 100! (Hopefully, it won't be that long… XD) Anyways, I got 52 reviews last chapter: Marufu-chan, Grinss (I'm sad, I can't reply to you…), TheSeventhLie, Zikrus, Kiro Uchiha, omgitskirby, and CuriousThoughts! Fifty!-two Before Chapter 10! I love all of you! So! Let us commence forthwith with Chapter 10 of 'Drugtionary'! (Warning: …This has a lot of economic talk in this chapter. My apologies…)

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man is property of Katsura Hoshino and Funimation. This series is a parody and nothing more, so please support the official release. Got it? Damn well better.

~O~

10. Plan A and a Half

The hush after his friend slammed the door on him was devastating. He didn't quite understand why that was the case, but it seemed to happen, nonetheless. He stared at the door for a moment before glancing around at his surroundings. He was still in Kanda's apartment, nothing changed, though the atmosphere changed to sadness. He had to get out of there. Sad things meant a sad self, and a sad self would impair on his ability to function properly. He shook his head from side to side before going through the red curtain and finding himself back in his own apartment.

Home sweet home.

He glanced to his left to see Bookman, who was talking on the phone in quiet tones and writing things down. Something serious was nagging at him, he could tell. Did it have to deal with the Earl? Or was it the Fourteenth this time? He frowned. Either or, they had one hell of a job to do. Frankly, he didn't feel motivated to do it, but he knew no one else would be as willing to take them down aside from the Bookmen.

He walked towards his room so that Bookman wasn't disturbed in his talking with whoever it was (he guessed it was Cross, the undercover cop. After all, he had the most information on both the Fourteenth and the Earl) and crawled onto his bed. He felt worn-out from his spat with Kanda from earlier, probably because it dealt more damage than he thought. He had to recover from it quick, though. Any hesitations could cause the world's economy to crumble, which was the last thing they needed. It was already teetering on a slim thread with an axe known as the Earl hovering above it, threatening to swoop down on the unsuspecting target.

This is why I hated taking economics. Lavi frowned as he stared at the ceiling. The flaws of neoclassical economics are right there in front of everyone's faces, but no one is willing to admit it, which is why Wall Street is in such trouble. Well, there are few other options. He sighed. We have traditional economics, which is only good for countries with no economy. Command economies are for places like China, wherein the individuals have little say and the government controls it all. I wonder if that's why they're doing okay right now… And finally, the market economics, where the prices are ruled by supply and demand. Places that have that are Japan, America and Canada…

Damn, my brain hurts already…

He rolled over onto his side as his brain continued to work. Right now, America is in a depression. Their going by Keynesian economics, which states that the government should use its power to tax and spend in order to get the economy going again. However, that requires lots of money. That's why we think the Earl is in America— To cut a deal with the President and, right when he's least suspecting it, swipe whatever powers the three branches of government had using lobbyists, due to that new law the judicial branch passed, and become President himself.

However, the President just recently got into office, so the Earl has to wait another three years or so. That's risky, because the economy can pull itself out of the recession. I have a feeling that he'll make a deal, then somehow eliminate the President and Vice President and cause chaos in the White House. That will enable him to somehow sneak into the mess and take America for himself. If he were really smart, he would go by Milton Friedman's theory of leaving the government out of the economy, which would then cause the people to go desperate and turn against their own leaders. Other people from other countries may take this as a symbol of revolution, which will spawn a massive turnabout.

Basically, it would bring about chaos, and in the threshold, the Earl will be in control of it all, and the CIA and FBI won't even know what hit them. It very well might become World War III.

He grimaced at the thought. He had witnessed the war in Iraq before coming to America and see what wrath it had brought upon the people. Dead bodies, roadside bombings, the works. The Earl just saw it as research material.

Brain growing tired, he forced himself to shove aside those thoughts and tried to think of something less tiresome. Kanda was the first thing that came into his mind, which made him groan in displeasure. He didn't want to think about that fight, either. It continued to persist in the recesses of his mind, though, so he had no choice. He frowned. Kanda had some problems, that was for certain. First the hallucinations, then the constant cutting himself off from people… one thing after another, and he had only recently met him.

One thing was for certain, though: He was the most interesting person he had met. It even seemed that Kanda's entire existence was a contradiction, but he didn't know how to explain it to himself, so it remained a mystery of as to how. He was working on it, though. He would figure it out.

The alarm clock beamed in bright numbers "9:01". He mulled over thoughts for a little over an hour. Sighing, he set his alarm so that he wouldn't miss class at college tomorrow, rolled over, and fell asleep.

Outside the room, Bookman was busy writing away, talking to Cross about a variety of things. Somehow, their topic diverted to different assortments of red wine. The old man sighed after Cross proclaimed which types were best and which types were so poor that Bookman had to destroy and piss on every bottle he saw. From there, it went to drug abuse and colleges, and from that to sex.

"…As much as it amuses me to listen to you ramble," Bookman said sarcastically, interrupting the man who was rambling about how he scored a threesome the other night, "we really need to get back to the subject."

"Ah, yes, yes." Cross sounded like he was lighting another cigarette. The fool was probably reclining in a chair with women clinging to him from both sides. "I actually have something to deliver to you, Bookman. It's an information leak my partner found within the last hour or so."

Bookman almost rose out of his chair from surprise. Cross Marian, the laziest cop of them all, actually did something? "You're kidding. The Earl—"

"—made a mistake," Cross finished for him. "I figured you'd want to see it, but I recommend you come here later. I've got company coming over."

Figures. He sighed. "Very well. What time should I arrive?"

"I would say tomorrow, but you sound eager to get it." A sound of inhaling, then slow exhaling came over the receiver. "Alright, fine. Come here around eleven-thirty. I'll be done by then. If you feel really lazy, just send your stupid apprentice over here."

He's far from stupid. If only you would look past the dumb exterior. He sighed. "All right. I'll send him over. Thank you, Marian."

"See you, Bookman."

A click faintly resonated in ear, then silence. He placed the phone off to one side before frowning at the table. Newspapers from all over the continent spread out across the top and on the floor. Nothing new had changed, however the CEO position of BP (British Petroleum) was now open. The Gulf oil spill was coming close to an end, so he had a feeling one of the Noah will take over, paying off whoever would come into position.

The President coming here will be the starting point. Bookman's eyes narrowed. We must protect the President and the people there at all costs. One mistake will send all of this tumbling into chaos. God only knows we need more of that.

He walked towards the kitchen and began washing the dishes. He would wake up his apprentice later. For now, however, he could rest.

~O~

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

The time it took to get to midnight was slow. Kanda's eyes seemed glued to the clock as he watched the little hand go around in full circle every sixty seconds. The time changed from eight to nine to ten to eleven, and it was now eleven twenty-one. His hands fisted into balls as he clenched the cloth of the blanket, worried. Not that he would ever admit it, but he was. Alma kept sighing in response to his worry, saying things like 'he's just going to get in our way later' and 'you never cared about before, why now?'

Tock.

Eleven-thirty. He could barely take it. He squeezed his eyes shut in response, hoping it would go away. He hated this. Emotions could not be controlled by logical means, but the only way to be logical is to shove emotions aside. How could anyone do that? He tried, but he failed, and now he was stuck with this.

Tick.

Eleven-thirty-nine. The thing was, attachment was under emotions. He knew that. That's why he tried to not be attached to anyone. People left you in the end, so he never saw the point, but the damn Baka Usagi managed to do something. That hug. That fucking hug ruined everything for him.

Tock.

Eleven-forty-six.

Fuck it.

He sat up, shoving the covers off him and stepping onto the floor.

'Stop it, Yuu! He must've bewitched you somehow!' Alma was glaring at him. 'If you go after him, then you do care about him and you're leaving me behind. I will not allow it!'

He hesitated and grimaced. Alma was right. He couldn't leave him behind. He laid back down and closed his eyes, hearing the clock tick away the remaining minutes that building had. They were going to die. Every last person in that building was dead, period, no exceptions. The feeling of guilt swamped him, but he knew he would have to put up with this if he wanted to be part of the Noah. He would be able to do it.

Tick.

Sirens could be heard from a mile away in the silence of the night. Undoubtedly, the fires sprang up from all over the building, so the whole thing would be consumed in a matter of fifteen seconds or less. It was over.

Lavi was dead.

Alma jumped for joy as Kanda felt everything just becoming a little bit sadder. Dead. What a lonely thought. It proved his theory right, though. Everyone you liked left eventually and never came back. Alma never did. He was the only exception. Content with that thought, he managed to close his eyes and ignored the harrowed screams of the fire trucks.

He's dead.

~O~

"So… after much debating to myself... Why am I here again?"

The address (with the word 'Brat' at the end of it) was written in Bookman's fancy handwriting, practiced calligraphy from many years of writing, which was in his hand. He had gotten lost more than five times trying to find the place, and, by luck when he thought he was lost yet again, he came across it. The building looked shabby, with broken beer bottles and trash littering the place. One of the windows had a crack splicing it through the middle as the light near it flickered once or twice as he stood.

He sighed. Leave it to the old Panda to send him to Cross at eleven-thirty at night.

He opened the front door and left the deserted street to enter a far-more deserted wasteland of an apartment building. The halls had been darkened with the lack of light, and he could hear shuffling of someone probably drunk in the halls. Cross was incredibly desperate to keep his identity hidden if he were living there.

He groped around to find the wall and smacked his hand against it, making sure he didn't lose track of it. Every time he reached a door, he felt the shape of the number to see if it was suite number seventeen. He got up to suite six when a hand slapped over his mouth and began dragging him away.

"Mmfh!" Lavi tried tearing the hand away from his mouth, but to no success. A chemical filled his nostrils as panic seized him. Shit, chloroform? Where the hell did he… get some of… that… No… I have to… stay awake…

His eye drooped slowly as a gunshot sounded through the halls and caused him to snap himself out of the delirium of false-sleep. The hand scuttled away as another shot sounded, then silence. Lavi tried to make out the shape of who it was in the darkness, but instead a hand grabbed his wrist and led him away into an apartment.

"You have shit-luck, kid. That guy was as drunk as I was a week back and had poor motor skills. I'm shocked that he managed to get you."

Lavi frowned as the lights of the room turned on. Cross inhaled deeply before exhaling smoke. His frown deepened. "Well, when it's that dark and you can't see, it's hard to notice something like that. Excuse me for not having your awesome cop-skills or whatever. I'm just a Bookman apprentice."

"You don't need to tell me. I already know."

He walked to the center of the room, where a coffee table was. On top of it were several folders that had different names on them. Behind the coffee table was a couch facing the door. A Persian rug covered the floor. He could see the kitchen and the living room connected as one without a door separating the two. In the back, an open window allowed air to flow in the room. Surprisingly, a picture of a woman (Chinese, perhaps? Lavi couldn't tell) in a frame rested silently on a cabinet beside two candles. She looked like she was wearing the uniform Cross was wearing.

"She died in the force," he answered the unasked question. "She was quite the beautiful woman. Anita was her name. She had another partner, Mahoja, who was a skilled fighter. Both were killed in a fight against one of the Earl's henchmen. Six shots to the chest each, though they suffered little."

"I'm sorry." Lavi tried his best to be sympathetic, but it didn't quite work for him. Sympathy was not a trait he carried. "Is that why you took on this case? For revenge?"

"I had this case long before she died, kid. Revenge is stupid."

At least he thinks clearly, then. He nodded. "Agreed."

"Anyways, here's that folder your grandfather needs," he said, handing him one of the folders. "Definite slip-up. We got someone to ask for 'Adam Millennium' at one of the hotels, and the name came up registered. He's definitely here, in this town. That means…"

"…our guess for his motivation was right— He wants to take down the President," Lavi finished. "Wonderful. Just what we needed."

"You're telling me." Cross sighed. "Means an extra shift when he comes around." He glanced over his shoulder and sighed. "It's midnight, kid. You should probably head back home. Tell the old man I said hi for me."

"In short, you have another girl coming over here."

"Out. Now."

Lavi rolled his eyes as he and the folder in his hands promptly left the room, closing the door behind him. Cross was an asshole, but he was a dedicated asshole. Tucking the folder under his arm, he walked around in the dark, hearing the low whimpers of a scared person. Cross didn't kill him after all— those shots were meant to scare him off. Or they were blanks, considering how quiet it was compared to most gunshots. Television and movies got it wrong. The sound of a gunshot could leave you deafened for hours if you're in an enclosed space.

The sound of a siren caught his attention, but nothing more. It was either someone dying or a fire, one of the two. He stepped out into the less-than-pleasant street and sighed heavily. Bookman seriously needed to stop being lazy and get his own folders, because this was getting ridiculous. He kept walking until he got onto the main road, which was just as desolate as the previous one. Walking around at midnight was what one normally considered as 'crazy'. He shrugged. Arguing with Bookman would have been crazier.

He sniffed the air as he got onto his street. The fire seemed fairly close to where he lived, judging by the scents. He kept walking when a blaze and smoke instantly transfixed him and stopped him from walking. On fire, right in front of him, was his apartment building.

"Panda… Yuu…" His eyes widened as many thoughts rushed through his head. Shit shit SHIT they're probably still in there oh my fucking GOD no no no this isn't happening wake up Lavi SHIT what if they're still in there no this can't be happening not to me no to other people this is not real shit

He briskly ran towards where all the fire trucks (three, one of which was from the neighboring town) were and gasped as he got closer. Top to bottom, ground floor to the roof, was food for the expansive flames. Water shot from all directions, hoping to douse it, as firefighters tried to rush into the building to help people. Two immediately pulled back as the entrance collapsed, one being trapped inside. They worked triple-speed to dig him out and managed to get him away.

However, Lavi cared less about the firefighters. He was more focused on the fact that his grandfather and Yuu (maybe, considering he didn't know if he returned) were in there. One of the firefighters pushed him back as the building seemed to groan in defeat as the top floor, almost in slow motion, came hurling towards the ground. The others quickly evacuated, calling for medical assistance, as their hopes for containing the blaze dwindled to ashes.

"You alright, sir?" one of them asked.

"Where… Where are they?" He responded, eyes watching the many pieces of falling embers fall to the ground without care.

"Do you live here?"

"Yes… My grandfather… he lived here too, and my best friend…"

"I'm sorry," the firefighter said, patting a hand onto his shoulder, "but as far as we can tell, there are no survivors. The flames ignited from what we believe a main circuitry problem, which caused the whole building to go up at once. It's quite rare for something like that to happen."

No survivors. No survivors? He blinked. How can that be? I just saw them not too long ago! This can't be real. I'm only dreaming. He blinked again as his mouth opened slowly, but no sound came out. Only dreaming. Wake up. His fist balled up and dug his nails into his skin, causing unregistered pain to come to light. The yells of the others became distant as the sound of a police car came from behind him.

"I got here as soon as I… shit," Cross finished, noticing the apprentice Bookman just standing there. "You, kid!" He grabbed him by the shirt and shook him. "Where is your old man?"

"…Building," he managed, pointing at the burning structure. Cross glanced past him and pushed him aside, yelling something at someone, but the redhead didn't bother listening what he was saying. Panda was dead. And what about Yuu? Was he dead, too, or had he yet to return? If Yuu was alive, he didn't lose everybody. However, the chances of him being out until midnight were slim.

This can't just be a coincidence. He watched Cross yell more orders and the firemen follow them. The leader was yelling along side him, relaying directions. Can't be. The Earl comes to town, and a fire just conveniently starts at our apartment in the middle of the night, which the firefighters think is caused by a 'rare' occurrence. No way. There is no way I am buying that. This has to be because of the Earl! His teeth grinded together as a spark in his eye ignited. That's it! I'm sick of your games, Earl! I will hunt you down to the ends of the Earth if I have to, and your little Noah friends, too!

I WILL KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!

The thought was clearer than a new set of headphones fresh from the store. He bitterly watched the death of his grandfather and potentially his friend, Kanda Yuu, as the flames began to recede due to the fire hoses.

The stars became clouded over by the smoke, hiding away any hope left for the redhead as the building's remains stood before him in a pile of ash and bitterness.

The Queen of the Devil took a white Knight.

~O~

Whoot! Chapter 10, done! So! Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Hit me with a review, por favor! It is greatly appreciated! Also, I like my chess references. I like chess. I'm sorry I'm such a nerd. (Don't ask about the chapter title. It will make sense later… I think.) Well then, I guess I'll see you in Chapter 11! (Rhyming for your pleasure. Hah!) —Mr. Ree