Eren's new optimistic outlook on life was helping him along more and more in the past month. Levi was no longer the first thing on his mind, though the man haunted his thoughts and wet dreams on a regular basis. He was sad that he had messed up such a relationship with so much potential, but he missed the feeling of another person more. The intimacy of sex was constantly on his mind, he wanted to feel someone else again.
Especially in the morning.
He rolled over beneath the warm sheets, tugging them closer. He groaned as he looked at the clock, thankful it was Saturday, but shot up as he realized the date. March 30th. His birthday. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and dressed quickly and made his way downstairs. His mother was waiting for him with a smile and some breakfast.
"Happy birthday, Eren!" She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight for just a moment. "How does it feel to be an adult?" she smiled again as she sat across from him. "Well, not very different since I still got breakfast handed to me…" he laughed as his mother glared at him jokingly. "I assume you're meeting your friends tonight?" He nodded "Yup! My first legal drink!" He smiled as he shovelled another fork of scrambled eggs in his mouth. Carla giggled. She knew well that Eren was no stranger to alcohol, but he never got into trouble or hurt himself or anyone, so she saw no problem. "And will your older friend be there?" She hadn't spoken to Eren about Levi since his admission about the older man.
Eren felt a familiar uneasy feeling sweep across his gut. It was the same way he felt every time he saw Levi in class. It was surreal, knowing he had the man for his own and lost him. The feeling was numbing yet painful, like morphine. The sensation spreads, masking the pain but the needle isn't forgotten. He forced a smile and shook his head. "Nah, we're not seeing each other anymore."
Carla opened her mouth to question, but at that moment, Grisha chose to make a rare appearance. "Eren! Happy birthday! I know I've been busy with work, but I'm not busy next Wednesday and I'd like us to spend a few hours together, get to talk. We rarely do." Eren was delighted at the opportunity to have some time with his father. Yeah, he could be a homophobic asshole, but he was still his father and he knew Grisha cared about him. "Sure, dad!" "Before I leave, I wasn't sure what to get you." Grisha glanced to his side, seeming ashamed. "I'm not sure what you like anymore, so I think you should buy your own present." Grisha smiled at Eren, placing a fifty on the table. "D-dad! I can't take this!" Eren wasn't used to this treatment and wasn't a fan of hand-outs. "No arguing. It's not charity, it's a gift. Do as you want with it. Hell, use it to buy your first legal drink if you want to do something someway special with it! It's yours, son." Grisha smiled once more, kissing Carla's forehead before calling his goodbyes from the door. "Well then, that was unexpected" Carla had pulled a wrapped box from somewhere (Eren figured under the table). "I was also a bit nervous, first adult presents and what have you, but I think these will work well for you." He opened the wrapping slowly, trying not to show his excitement. But that failed him when he saw the pair of headphones he had been saving for; they were large, over ear and green. He knew they were expensive, and Eren took a moment to wonder how she knew what to get him. He ran around the table to hug her and thank her repeatedly. She laughed. "It's no problem, now, finish your breakfast, I'm sure you'll have a lot of visitors today."

And that he did. Armin and Mikasa were the first to arrive at noon, hugging him tight before handing him a present each. He blushed as he beckoned them in. Mikasa had always been one for style, and knew Eren's quite well. Her gift consisted of a t-shirt, a simple but effective gift, with the logo of one of his favourite bands, "New Age Titans". The letters were thick and blocky, with a silhouette of what could be the bands idea of "titans" behind them. He thanked her, hugging her tight and thinking to himself "this is what I will wear tonight". Armin's present was almost to pair with Mikasa's style theme. It was a necklace, a thin black strip of leather with a small key attached. Apparently they thought he needed to change up his wardrobe. He hugged Armin and put the necklace on immediately. "So, what are you doing for today?" they asked, but he had no response. "I don't know…Mom and Dad suggested I have my first legal drink, it's not like it would be a bad idea, the school issued ID has our date of birth on it." Armin nodded. "It would be nice to get everyone together, you're almost the last to turn 18." Eren routinely forgot that his blonde friend was a little younger than him, but Armin had a way about these things. It wouldn't have been his first time getting into a bar, even if they were carding, Armin managed to avoid it. He always said that if you acted like you should be in a place, no one would question you. He seemed correct so far. Eren nodded. "Yeah, I guess I'll send out a mass text or something." Mikasa shook her head. "We took the liberty of doing that already. We wanted to be sure you had your first legal drink with all your friends and it kind of seems like the perfect night. A place downtown agreed to it, they card at the counter, so anyone underage can just go non-alcoholic. There will be other people there, but we can find a nice table I'm sure."
They had planned for him. He knew he should have expected it at least a little but somehow knowing exactly how much his friends cared about him and his birthday made him emotional, he felt his heart swell as he tried to thank them without his voice cracking. After they left, his day was filled with texts and phone calls from friends and family members who wanted to wish him well. He was delighted that each took the time for him but still wished for someone else to call. Someone he knew wouldn't.
By 6, he had enough of phone calls and following a large dinner, opted to begin getting ready for his unofficial party. He had already picked an outfit, not that that was difficult. He rid himself of his clothes and got into the shower, just in time to hear his mother calling to him that she'd be back soon. Eren worked the shampoo into his hair first, sighing at the feeling. He loved the feeling of his hair being washed, by anyone.
But it would be best with Levi…
He wouldn't deny that he had thought of the man on more than one occasion in a sexual sense since their split. But now he wasn't just imagining, he was remembering.
The morning in the shower, the way Levi bent him over, kissed his back, told him to cum for him. Eren felt the need growing and rinsed his hair quickly. He squirted his shower gel onto his palm and let his hands roam over him. What if he could find someone just for tonight? Someone to make him squeal and beg, just to get rid of the craving. The soap washed away quickly and before he could finish the image he had of Levi taking him in a bathroom stall in some bar, his hand was wrapped around his erection. He stroked lightly, he wanted it to be good. He didn't want to rush, no; he wanted it to feel as it would if Levi were doing it. He pumped slowly, taking in every tiny spark of pleasure. He rubbed his thumb over the tip, gasping lightly as he did so. He leaned forward, bending over, arching himself the way he had for Levi in the shower. He imagined the man behind him, reaching around him, and whispering filth in his ear. The image caught him by surprise.
You like that, don't you brat? Such a good little slut.
The words made Eren's hand move faster, silently begging for the man.
Tch, so eager. A few minutes more and you'll be begging for my cock in your ass, and a few minutes after you'll be screaming my name so loud, the neighbours will know it.
Eren's free hand moved behind him, searching for the small puckered hole. He found it and pressed in slowly, gasping at the tightness. It was a little painful but he didn't want to stop. He wanted to feel full again.
Go on, tell me you want my cock. Tell me you want me to make you scream.
He groaned and felt a familiar clench in his abdomen as he let his head loll back against the tiles.
Go on, Eren. Tell me. I want to hear you. I want to hear you moan and scream and beg for me. I want to know it's my cock you want and no one else's. I want you to remember who can make you feel better than anyone else can.
At his final thought, Eren tipped over the edge. He called Levi's name, the feeling of his cum running over his hand making him feel dirty in the best way. He took deep breaths, thanking the Gods that his parents weren't home. He could feel the heat in his cheeks and as his final deep breath left him, he remembered that he wouldn't be feeling Levi like that again. He sighed, a heavy feeling settling in his heart again. He washed his hands and the rest of his body quickly. Even as he got dressed, the feeling didn't leave and he knew it wouldn't for a while. The closeness and intimacy he had been craving would only be satisfied if it was Levi. No one else could fill the void in his heart. He worked to cheer up; after all it was his birthday. He shook his head, thought of the night ahead of him, and marched out of his room to say hello to his mother.

His party turnout was exactly as he wanted. All his closest friends were present, and they had snagged a few tables next to each other to keep the party together. They cheered as he approached and he couldn't help but smile wide. As he sat he felt hands everywhere, pats on the back, hugs, arm squeezes, anything to greet him. Loud conversations quickly started, and he found himself lost in a conversation with Berthold, who was telling him everything about a new game he had started playing. He was completely ignoring his surroundings, until a light tap on his shoulder turned him. And he saw a cake, a black forest gateaux with an 18 candle. He could have cried. After so long of doubting himself and thinking he was an awful friend, they went this far. "Come on Eren! Blow out the candle so we can eat!" Eren laughed and blew out the candle quickly. His friends cheered and a glass of beer was placed in front of him. Armin stood above him, smiling. "I wanted to buy you your first legal drink. I almost didn't get to, Mikasa-" he stopped as Mikasa arrived next to him, in her hand…another glass. He didn't want to disappoint them. But how could he drink both…He gasped, and signalled "one second" and scooted out of his seat. He got to the bar counter and leaned forward, muttering to the bartender. He returned with just the thing. Two straws.
He placed a straw in each and sucked both at the same time. Armin couldn't stop his giggling and Mikasa looked as if she couldn't even comprehend it. "Now, no one's disappointed!" Eren smiled, taking the plate of cake a waitress handed to him. The cake was delicious, better than any he had tasted. The conversations continued, loud and long and he got involved many that he never expected. He found himself confronted with several confusing questions regarding a variety of games, theories from Connie on retro games, and even a conversation on Les Miserable. Before he knew it, both his drinks had been depleted. He pulled his wallet out and looked at his school ID. Finally he could use it. He stood and Mikasa looked at him, questioning. "I am about to buy my first legal drink!" he said proudly, stepping around her to go to the bar. She smiled and resumed talking to Marco, who was standing curiously close. As he got to the counter, Eren couldn't help but feel a small nervous bubble in his stomach. The bartender knew it was his birthday, and shook his head as Eren tried to get his ID. He handed over the money and waited, glancing back at his friends. But as he turned someone caught his eye. Sitting on a couch a few spaces away from his friends was a well built, muscular, blond man. Eren thought for a moment on how handsome he was. His jaw was strong and his eyes were a piercing blue, yet held softness. He moved his gaze to the man's companion, who had made a comment that was apparently enough to make the blond laugh. His heart dropped to the floor. He would recognise that dark undercut anywhere.
Levi.