It was the only way Eren got through the day anymore. Whenever he would get annoyed with Levi's attitude, miss his sister, or want to argue back, he would count out seven-hundred and twenty seconds.
That's how long it would take. And that thought calmed him down. He knew that it wasn't a healthy thought to entertain, that the more he thought about it, the more it would become appealing, would become more desirable, but that was the only thing he had control over anymore.
Twelve minutes. He could control those twelve minutes.
Questioning with Levi became monotonous. He answered everything bluntly, only elaborating when Levi asked for it, and then would spend the rest of the day in his cell until Levi came to take him to the shower. Those were getting easier to handle, too. He ignored Levi's watching eye and washed quickly, counting out twelve minutes each day. Two months passed like this before he could see Mikasa again, and it was with a mixture of anticipation and dread he followed Levi and Petra down the hall to her cell. The only sounds were the echoes of their footsteps and the hum of the overhead lights as they led him onwards. It took only a hundred and eighteen seconds to get from his door to hers, and he reached a hundred and twenty-two before being engulfed by a hug.
The familiar weight and scent of his sister had him relaxing, his arms reaching up without thought to grasp her, and his head burying into the crook of her shoulder as he pulled her closer. His eyes burned. This was the longest he had ever been away from her since they met, and again he felt an anger burn in his chest, hot enough to evaporate the tears that had been threatening to spill just moments ago. He pulled back, letting him take in her appearance.
Her hair was longer, past her shoulders now and hiding part of her face. She had put on a little more weight, he could feel it, and it made him happy. She had been underweight for years now, and he hoped that with the guards breathing down her neck she was getting all her meals every day.
"You okay?" he asked, and she nodded silently. He frowned, lifting his hand and pressing it against her cheek. It was warm, warmer than it should be, and he dragged his hand up to her forehead.
"You're sick," he noted, and she frowned a little.
"It's just a cold," she mumbled, pulling away. He reached out, snatching her hand and lacing their fingers together. He could feel the light trembling, and he moved into the room more, leading her to the bed to sit down. She had a small table in her cell now, along with a chair and a pile of books. There was also a pile of papers and a pencil, and he wondered why he hadn't been offered the same privilege.
Was it because she wasn't really a Jaeger? That she was only his sister in claim, not blood or name? He didn't know, but he felt like it had more to do with Levi than it did with Eren at all. It wasn't a good time to think about that though, as he took Mikasa's wrist into his hand, feeling her pulse.
"I thought you were taking your medications now," Eren said quietly, and Mikasa looked down, her hair moving to hide her face from him. He barely caught her words, and he felt the anger building up again.
"I'm only taking the insulin. They don't know."
"Fuck, Mikasa," Eren snapped, his voice echoing in the room. Petra straightened up, her eyes watching them carefully. Levi's eyes had never left them, though they seemed to be oddly focused and intent. "Do you want to die? You know what a simple cold will do to you!"
"I'm tired, Eren!" she hissed, yanking her arm away. "I'm tired of being treated like a doll about to break. I'm okay, do you understand? I don't need—"
"You do! Just because you're doing well right now doesn't mean you'll keep doing well if you don't take your pills! It's not fucking going to go away on its own! You know this!"
"I'm not a child!"
"Then stop acting like one!"
They glared at each other, hands clenched into balls. After counting to ten, Eren let out a breath, relaxing his hands and reaching out for Mikasa's, who willingly offered her own. He pulled her closer, scooting back on the bed and giving her room to lie down. Wrapping his arms around her he fell sideways, hugging her close.
"I'm sorry."
"Me too."
They lie like that for the rest of their visit, Eren just enjoying being able to hold her close again. He knew he would have to leave her, have to go back to his own cell, and it only made him tighten his grip on her.
"I'll be good," he whispered to her. "I won't let them take you away from me again."
The first thing he noticed was that it was bright. His eyes flinched closed again, his head turning slightly to get away from the harsh light. The second was that he hurt. Everywhere along his body there was an ache, and he was having a hard time moving. The third was that he was thirsty.
"Private Springer? Can you hear me?"
Connie nodded, keeping his eyes tightly closed.
"Doctor! He's awake! Someone go get Dr. Zoe!"
The noises were overwhelming, but he couldn't find the strength to lift his hands to cover his ears. The sound dimmed, along with the redness behind his eyes, and he tentatively cracked one open to see that the lights were no longer on. To the side, he could see a woman standing in white, her golden hair shimmering around her glowing, happy face.
"Are you an angel?" he asked, his voice rough and scratchy from disuse. She laughed.
"No, I'm not. But I'm glad to see you're awake."
"What happened?"
"It's best to let Dr. Zoe explain. Can I get you anything?"
"Water," he pleaded, and she grabbed a cup from behind her, a straw already sticking out. She pushed a button on the side of the bed, elevating his head and chest so that he was upright. Holding the cup, she pressed the straw against his lips, and he sucked it down greedily. It was hard at first, the effort straining on his lungs and mouth, but after a few tries he got enough water into him to help.
"Connie, how are you feeling?" a deeper voice asked, and he looked up to see a woman closing the door again, a white robe hurriedly thrown over a black shirt and boxer shorts. Her hair was a mess, barely tied up, with glasses shoved up past her bangs and almost entirely hidden by her fringe. He shrugged, wincing at the burn in his muscles as he did so.
"What happened?"
"How much do you remember?"
He paused, thinking about it. How did he get hurt? He remembered going to Sasha's house after class to help her with her science homework, but after that was fuzzy.
"Where am I?"
"You're in the infirmary for the Department of Homeland Security. It's October third, 2045. You've been in a coma for almost three months now."
"What— Why— How—"
"What's the last thing you remember?" the woman asked, and Connie stared at her in confusion.
"I was going to Sasha's house. We were supposed to study. Two-thousand-forty-five?!"
"There's no explanation. The scans all came back normal, but Private Springer thinks he's fifteen years old again. He's having a hard time adjusting to the fact he's ten years older than he thought he was. He also seems to have problems with his short-term memory. He will repeat his questions after ten minutes," Hanji said, rubbing her forehead wearily. It was almost three in the morning, and Levi had not been pleased to be dragged out of bed for an emergency meeting. Mike looked half-asleep in his chair, and the only person who seemed to be awake was Erwin.
"And there's nothing to explain the coma or the memory loss?"
"No! Eren admitted to having intentionally knocked Connie out by applying pressure to the base of his neck, but there's no sign of trauma or damage that would explain this result. He meant for it to be a temporary paralysis, where the target would awaken on his own within ten to thirty minutes. Either Eren messed up his technique, or there's another underlying problem that Eren triggered when he executed the assault."
"And you're requesting that he remain on base?" Erwin asked, and Hanji nodded enthusiastically. "This is invaluable research! Not to mention we don't know what will trigger a return of memory, or when that might happen. He's a trained soldier, and if he suddenly thinks he's back in a combat situation—"
"There are programs and institutes to keep him in for that," Levi said, but Hanji burst into excited babble he didn't try following. After letting her ramble on, Levi spoke up again.
"I won't even bother pretending I know what you just said. But what is the danger of letting Private Springer remain on base versus leaving for a specialized facility? We could send the Braus girl with him. Two birds with one stone."
"They're a part of this investigation, Levi! Sasha and Connie are both direct victims of Eren Jaeger's attack on this base, and hold valuable knowledge within them of what training Eren might have received from his parents. Like, where did he learn how to paralyze someone like that? What kind of mental training would he have had for him to behave as he did with Sasha? These actions are all we have left of Carla and Grisha Jaeger, and sending away the only two examples would be a crime!"
Levi scoffed, leaning back in his chair and finishing the tea in his cup. "So you want to compromise their recovery to experiment. That's what you're saying? They're injured people, not your test subjects."
"Oh, Levi. Everyone's a test subject."
Levi looked up sharply, but Hanji was facing the display board again. He caught Erwin's eye, and the commander gave a light shrug.
"As long as you're working on handling their recovery, you may document any findings. All tests must be approved before you perform them. Is that understood, doctor?"
"Yes, sir!"
Erwin dismissed them, Mike getting up and silently leaving the room without a word. Hanji was cleaning up her case notes, and Levi pushed his mug to the side as he stood. Erwin clapped him on the shoulder, but offered no words as he passed Levi to leave the room. When the door closed behind him, Levi spoke.
"What the fuck are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking of getting any possible information I can, while I have the opportunity."
"You act as if you're on a time-frame."
"We all are, Levi. I could die tonight in my sleep. You could get shot or killed on the job. The sleeper cell could reemerge at any moment. I have to work as fast as I can with what I have. I don't have the luxury of patience or ethics."
"These are people, damn it! Not experiments!"
"They're all I have, Levi!" she spun around, her face flushed. "They're all I fucking have, so back the fuck down!"
Her words echoed in the silence that followed before she drew a long breath, pushing her bangs back with her hands angrily.
"From what I hear, you're not one to talk. Seriously, you'll drive Eren to the brink at this rate. He hardly talks anymore, he's losing weight, and he does nothing except sleep, eat, shower, and get interrogated by you. And the guards are worried because they hear him crying for his mother almost every night. You sit here, telling me I need to treat Connie and Sasha like people, but you can't even do that for Eren. So who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how to behave?"
Hanji scooped up her files, shoving past Levi roughly on her way to the door.
"Clean up your act, Levi, before you have to."
Her body felt like it was burning. Curling up tighter on the bed, she pulled the blanket completely over her to block out the harsh overhead light. Her breakfast remained untouched on the tray, the little cup of pills beside her juice still showing the two pills she needed to take while eating. It hurt to move, though, and the thought of eating made her empty stomach twist up, bile rising in her throat. She barely had time to get her head out and over the side of the bed before vomiting up stomach acid, the sound of her hacking filling the small space. The smell followed after, and Mikasa groaned as she fell back onto the bed, too drained to properly lie down.
When she opened her eyes again, there was something cold pressing against her face, pushing against her and making her roll onto her back. Her body felt limp and heavy, and she felt icicles prying her lids open, blinding her. Her vision was fuzzy, only a blotch of reddish-brown being visible.
"Mikasa, can you hear me?"
She groaned, trying to turn away from the sound, from the light, from everything. Her body was melting; why weren't they helping her?
"She's conscious, but not responding—"
"—fluids—"
"—had only mild cold symptoms last night—"
"—vomiting, high fever—"
The room shifted, and she couldn't stop herself from vomiting again, unable to turn her head enough to not get it on her cheeks, in her hair. At this she cried, the miserable feeling of being sick and being covered in puke too much for her to handle.
"It's okay, we'll get you cleaned up. We're taking you to the infirmary. You'll feel better soon."
"I want my brother," she sobbed, "I want Eren."
"I'll see what I can do, dear, okay? Just rest, we'll take care of you now."
"Eren!" she screamed, thrashing. Frigid manacles clamped down around her arms and feet, holding her still as she cried out for her brother. "Eren!"
Armin heard her long before he saw her. He stepped to the side as the gurney rushed by him, taking up step beside Petra as she maneuvered it towards the elevators.
"What happened?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the thrashing girl on the bed.
"She's ill. She had a minor cold last night, and this morning it seems to have grown exponentially worse. We're taking her in for treatment."
Armin felt something itching in his mind, a memory locked away in Things From That Time, and he let himself close his eyes to remember it. He hated thinking back on That Time, as he labeled it, but if it could be of use he would bear it for a short time.
"She's been like this before…" Armin said quietly, hesitantly. Petra glanced at him and he took a deep breath. "I remember hearing something about how it was the reason she lived with the Jaegers, since he's been her doctor since birth. I don't remember much, but she was sick a lot when she was younger."
"So Eren would know something then."
"Yeah. He was always protective of her. Nagging, making sure she always ate and took her pills."
When they got to the infirmary, there were nurses already waiting to help move Mikasa onto one of the clean beds, an IV being placed into her arm and restraints pulling her limbs secure and out of harm's way. Her cries had grown no softer, her pleas for Eren's presence more insistent. They drew blood work, and it was as a nurse took down her vitals that Hanji burst into the ward, her hair not even tied up and only wearing the white doctor's coat.
"What happened? I got a call about an emergency?"
"Something's wrong with her," Petra spoke up, and Armin listened with half an ear as he watched the nurses work on the girl. He had a while to think about the Jaeger kids, about his own history with them and about his opinion on them, and while he wouldn't be able to ever forgive the parents, he would withhold his judgment on the children until he learned more of the truth.
"You mentioned she might have lived with the Jaegers because of her illness?" Hanji asked him, drawing him back to the conversation. He nodded, rubbing a hand against his forehead.
"She was sick a lot when we were younger, even before she lived with them. I don't know why, I didn't care then, but Eren was highly protective of her because of it."
"And you can't remember anything or any reason?"
"I was only a child. I wasn't even fourteen when…" Armin trailed off, looking down at the ground and swallowing. "When it all happened."
When Hell broke loose.
"Okay, Moblit!" Hanji called out, and a head poked out from around a corner. "Run some blood tests. And will someone give the fucking girl a sedative before she hurts herself?!"