Hi everyone! Happy reading! ^_^
A big shout out to my beta: Ookami-san!
Disclaimer: I'm not the owner of Mai Hime/Sunrise.
The Trouble With Love Is…
Chapter 10
"I love you, Haruka..."
"Yeah yeah... I know that already. But the answer is still NO."
"Oh, come on! It's just a meeting between directors. It's not like they need me there!"
"Yes, they don't need you. But I do."
Silence descended upon them—Natsuki dramatically placed her palm against her chest as her eyelashes fluttered.
"If it wasn't because of your stupid obsession with Mariah Carey, I probably could've fallen in love with you."
Haruka's hand froze, her writing stopped—she tilted her head up instantly to shoot an incredulous stare at the grinning blunette across the table.
"Gross!"
Natsuki laughed loudly as she walked over and sat right next to the blonde. The second Natsuki blew out a heavy breath, Haruka knew from instincts that her dear friend had something on her mind.
"Is there something wrong?"
"I think so..."
"What do you mean 'you think so'?"
A long silence ensued, Natsuki sighed heavily.
"She'll be leaving—again."
Haruka's hand stopped for the second time that morning and she tilted her head to look at the blunette on her right. It didn't take her long to realize who Natsuki was referring to.
"How long?"
Natsuki shrugged, "Dunno... Could be months, years..."
Haruka softly tapped the desk with her pen, "Have you talked to her?"
Natsuki pursed her lips tight; she shook her head. It was Haruka's turn to sigh.
"Seriously, I'm done reminding you. Suit yourself! Don't come crying to me later—"
Knock! Knock!
Their conversation was interrupted by a couple of knocks on the door—both of them turned to look at it, waiting for a person to walk in.
"Nao?" Natsuki quirked her brows in surprise when she saw that Nao's eyes were puffy and slightly reddened. It was rare to see the red head in such a condition, so Haruka and Natsuki started to worry.
"What's going on?"
Nao was sobbing as she walked towards them, "C-can I ask for a half-day today?"
Natsuki quickly walked towards Nao as she handed her a handkerchief, "Is everything okay?"
"My mom... she's in the hospital."
He picked up the small note on the desk and struggled to read the words as his eyes were still heavy—they were stinging painfully as if something was poking inside out.
"Drink this right after you wake up..." he muttered. As he dropped his hand, he saw a bottle of lemon-flavoured Gatorade next to where he found that note. He crumpled the little piece of paper inside his palm and reached for the bottle. His fingers trembled slightly as he worked to open the cap—a soft hissing sound echoing across the room signaled his success.
He took a small sip at first, tasting the fizzy liquid, swirling it inside his mouth—he swallowed.
Not bad... He mused with a smile as he took another sip and another one after. His throbbing headache slowly lessened, much to his surprise. His mind also started to clear as remnants of the previous night slowly came back—he sighed heavily. Though he couldn't really remember the whole conversation, a few of them came back and he recalled that it was Natsuki who took him safely to bed last night.
That is so embarrassing... Hope I didn't say anything stupid in front of her. Reito sighed again as he took a mouthful of Gatorade and capped it back securely before placing it atop the desk. He was about to get off of the bed when a soft knock on the door caught his attention. One moment later, a raven-haired woman walked into the room with a small tray in her hands.
"Ara, Reito-kun? You're awake already? How are you feeling?" Saeko walked towards the bed, putting down the tray on the small table beside it.
Reito worked up a smile and nodded his head slightly, "Better. Thank you, mother. Anyway, what is that?" he gestured at the tray—a teapot and a small china cup.
Saeko just smiled, "That's ginger tea." She paused, "Natsuki told me that you were drunk last night. She asked me to take care of you..."
There was a long silence between them. Reito just lowered his head, "I see."
"I guess she left this too?" Saeko asked, shaking the small Gatorade bottle with a cheeky smile. Reito just kept mum—Saeko already had her answer. She walked to the bed and quietly sat right beside Reito, sighing.
"She can be a little insufferable sometimes... and this is coming from her own mother..."
Reito couldn't help but smile at the comment.
"But she cares about you... a lot more than you think."
Reito's fingers moved to grasp onto the bed sheet but he just remained silent. Saeko's long sigh caught his attention—he quickly turned to look and saw a soft smile on her.
"I watched you two grow up—so close to each other, but then..." Saeko paused as she took another deep breath, "Suddenly you two became so distant... I wonder what went wrong. Maybe it's none of my business since you two are adults now; and I won't ask further if you have no intention of telling..."
"No, it's not like that, mother..." Reito rubbed his forehead, sighing in dismay, "I honestly don't know where to start... It's complicated..."
Saeko smiled again as she patted Reito's shoulder tenderly, "It's okay. I'm not going to force you. Besides, you're still not well from your hangover. We'll talk about this later, yes?" she placed her palm against Reito's cheek as a final gesture before she walked towards the door.
"Mother…"
Saeko's hand froze at the knob—she pivoted her heels and saw Reito hanging his head low—hands grasping onto the bed sheet desperately. Her brows involuntarily raised in surprise at the soft murmur which came after.
"I'll tell you everything…"
"Asthma attack?"
She nodded, blowing her nose again. Natsuki reached for another piece of tissue at the reception counter and handed it over to the redhead. They were sitting at the hallway which led to the emergency room. Nao's mother had been in the room for an hour since they rushed there from the office.
While waiting outside, drinking coffee, there was another emergency in the ER. The nurses and doctors were rushing in, moving back and forth along the hallway. Nao was too immersed in her own thoughts and the coffee in her hand while Natsuki couldn't really focus with all the noises around her—the sound of rolling carts and stretchers, dreary talks and hasty footsteps. She never was a fan of hospitals. She hated them.
"How long has it been?"
It took a moment for Nao to answer—her stare had been locked to the floor for quite some time and Natsuki just didn't know what she had to do to comfort the redhead.
"Since I was in high-school."
Nao paused as she straightened her back against the wall—her eyes were red but there were no more traces of tears. Maybe she was done crying, Natsuki thought.
"She was fine all this time... with all the medication and stuff... I wonder what triggered it back..."
Natsuki could feel her heart sink deeply when she saw tears starting to well in those lime-green eyes. She reached out, patting Nao's head gently, "Hey, your mom is going to be okay... I promise—"
"Nao-chan?"
Both of them turned at the call and saw a dark-haired woman in a white coat walking towards them with a smile on her face. Natsuki felt her heart ease up a little when she saw the doctor's smile. There's no way a doctor would smile like that if she comes with a bad news, right? Unless she's a creepy, psychotic and crazy doctor. Natsuki mulled silently as she watched Nao rush towards said doctor.
"Youko-sensei! How's my mother!?"
Another smile and a nod—Nao's prayers were heard.
She quickly went to grab on the doctor's coat into a hug—Natsuki just couldn't hide a smile at the endearing scene before her.
"Anyway, who is that? Your new girlfriend?" Youko asked as she released her hold around Nao. Her eyes flickered with interest as she fixed her gaze on Natsuki.
The reaction which came from both of them was spontaneous and very much alike.
"NOOOO!"
Youko couldn't hold her giggle while Natsuki and Nao glared at each other like they were about to strangle each other's neck.
"Anyway, I'm going to transfer your mother to her room. You can visit her shortly." Youko said as she patted Nao's shoulder. Nao nodded curtly.
Youko walked over to Natsuki and she held out her right hand, "It's nice to meet you, miss...?"
Natsuki quickly grabbed the hand and shook it as she lowered her head slightly, introducing herself, "Natsuki. Kuga Natsuki!"
Youko seemed stunned momentarily—her head tilted to the side, brows twitched as if she was trying to recall something.
"Don't tell me that you're Kuga Saeko's daughter?"
"Well, I'm afraid I am..." Natsuki quickly smiled at the mention of her mother's name. She knew her mother was famous—but not THIS famous; it was like every single person in Japan knew who she was!
Youko laughed as she grasped both of Natsuki's hands, who was startled but amused at the same time.
"No wonder you look so much like her! I meant to ask you about it earlier but I was afraid that I might be wrong! How is your mother anyway?"
"Um, good?" Natsuki grinned awkwardly—she was a tad uncomfortable with friendly gestures, especially when it came from strangers.
Youko nodded a few times as she released her grasp, "Good, good! Anyway, please send my regards to her. Tell her that her junior from college says hi!"
Natsuki smiled back and gave a short bow, "Will do! But I didn't get your name..."
Youko playfully slapped her forehead, "Haha, I'm sorry. My name is Sagisawa Youko! It's a pleasure to meet you, Natsuki-san!" Youko paused and shot a short glance at Nao—the redhead quickly quirked up an eyebrow in confusion.
Youko leaned closer to Natsuki as she whispered, "Take care of Nao-chan, yes?"
Too bad Nao had heard it too, "Oh my god! She's not my girlfriend! Geez!"
But Youko already skipped away from them with a happy laugh. Nao was fuming.
"Stupid old lady..." Nao grumbled as she flopped onto the chair, sulking.
"You know she was just teasing you, right?" Natsuki laughed as she took a seat next to Nao and let out a long relieved sigh.
Nao just grumbled incoherently in response. They fell into quick silence until Natsuki started to speak again.
"Anyway, about the meeting in Kyoto this Saturday..."
Nao quickly tilted her head to look at the blunette—Natsuki smiled.
"I'll take care of it."
She pulled at the heavy door, peeking inside the cold, confined space and took a deep breath.
"What should I cook for tonight...?" she muttered, obviously to herself. The refrigerator was almost empty. She definitely needed to do a little bit of shopping tomorrow.
She found a few vegetables in the refrigerator drawer—tomatoes, baby cos lettuces and cucumbers—and decided to make a salad. She took out all the ingredients needed for said salad and placed them on the counter. Making a salad was definitely for the best because she didn't want to waste a lot of food by cooking something fancy since she was going to have her dinner alone.
Alone—suddenly that word sounded so painful to her. It wasn't like she never had dinner by herself before. It was like a routine most days and it never once bothered her. But tonight, she wondered why it suddenly stung so hard.
She chopped a tomato meticulously, tossed it into a bowl and moved on to a cucumber. As she diced up the cucumber, her brows slowly twitched into a soft frown. Underneath the even sound of the knife against the cutting board, she thought she heard knocks at her door. She halted her chopping and waited—it was quiet.
Maybe the neighbours... She picked up the knife and was about to start chopping again when she heard another round of knocks—louder than earlier and she was sure that it was definitely at her door.
She wiped her hands on a dishcloth and glanced at the clock—8.10 pm. She wondered who it might be.
She opened the door as much as her string lock allowed.
"Hey!"
She closed the door and slid the key into the ignition and started the car—the engine roared into life.
"You should've called me earlier. I was in the middle of cooking dinner and you suddenly appeared at my door..."
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I called, right? Anyway, what were you cooking?"
Shizuru smiled as she pulled at the seat belt, "I wasn't really cooking. I was preparing to make a salad."
"Salad? Eww!"
Shizuru shook her head at the naughty grin displayed on Natsuki's face. She just couldn't help but to giggle.
"Have you eaten?" Shizuru shifted the gear, the car slowly moved and she drove to the main road.
Natsuki bit her lower lips, shaking her head slightly, "Nope. Kinda boring tonight... My mom, dad and Reito are out for a dinner together..."
"Why didn't you join them?" Shizuru asked, out of curiosity.
"Didn't feel like it..." Natsuki sighed, "Anyway, may I?"
Shizuru's brows quirked slightly at the request. She saw Natsuki pointing at the music player and quickly nodded, "Yes, sure!"
Natsuki pressed the small red button—a high-pitched voice blared in a very high volume—Natsuki literally jumped in her seat in pure shock.
"MARIAH CAREY!? REALLY!?"
—and who would've thought Shizuru could laugh even louder?
"Aoi-chan!"
Both of them started screaming, jumping up and down as they hugged each other at the corridor.
"How did you find me? Oh my god! I haven't seen you in years!" Mai was on the verge of crying as she cupped Aoi's face and started to laugh again.
Aoi used her sleeves to wipe dry her tears, "Well, let just say that I have a girlfriend who is really good at finding information..."
Mai giggled but she quickly pulled the brunette into her apartment, "As much as I wanted to scream more, I'm afraid that my neighbours would scream together with us if we stay outside much longer! Come! I'm about to cook my dinner. You have to join me!"
Aoi grinned wider as she settled on the small chair at the kitchen counter, "You don't even need to ask, Mai-chan!"
Shizuru's jaw dropped slightly as she stared at the small, rustic looking ramen shop which stood right before her.
"What are you doing?" Natsuki went to stand beside Shizuru and looked back and forth from the brunette to the building.
"I thought you were going to ask me to drive you to McDonalds or something similar..."
Natsuki's brows instantly twitched at the comment, "What? Don't be ridiculous! One bowl of this ramen is 100 times better than 10 double cheese burgers."
Shizuru just laughed, "Ara, I thought since Natsuki had been staying in UK for so long, maybe Natsuki would prefer something more 'western'?"
"Too much burgers and fries will make you fat." Natsuki wrinkled her nose as she shook her head. She pushed the sliding door open and stepped back, gesturing Shizuru to walk before her. Shizuru's lips quietly tugged upwards at the polite gesture.
"Let's get inside. I'm starving!"
Soft jazz music was playing in the background as the three of them sat quietly at the table, waiting for the main course to be served. They were done with their appetizer minutes earlier—Reito called for the waiter to pour them more wine.
"2009 Knights Valley Cabernet Sauvignon, sir?" the waiter held up an expensive looking bottle to Reito. He quickly nodded.
"Yes, please."
The waiter smiled as he bowed before he started to pour the wine into each glass on the table. After he finished with his task, he placed the bottle into the ice bucket.
"Are you planning to get drunk again?"
Reito's golden orbs flickered at the pair of eyes before him, which stared back with the same intensity. He lowered his head when Keisuke held his gaze much longer than he possibly could. Not to mention his stare was nerve-racking. Reito quietly swallowed the small lump which had grown even bigger every time Keisuke fixed his eyes on him.
"I'm sorry..."
Keisuke didn't respond to the apology nor paid any attention to it. He just stared at his wine glass, swirling the red liquid before taking another short sip.
Saeko could feel the tension—so thick that it could be sliced with a butter knife. She just stared at the two men from across the table. She was unsure of what to do or say to them; they seemed to be in their own world. Finally when she caught Keisuke's eyes on hers, she did what she does best—puppy eyes attack!
She watched Keisuke's brows slowly loosen their knot and relax. The man blew a heavy sigh—Saeko had won.
"Your mother told me that Shizuru is breaking up with you."
It felt like someone was pouring acid into an open wound—Reito bit his lower lips and he nodded.
"It was my mistake."
Keisuke took a deep breath. It was inevitable. Reito had a notorious record for having so many girlfriends that he couldn't even remember how many. Let alone their names. But he was really fond of Shizuru. He thought that the young lady would be the last and maybe they would end up with the beautiful marriage he always wished to see.
"But I'll try to work it out with her! I decided to give her time for herself and I could sort things up... Maybe she thought I wasn't being serious with our relationship... Maybe she thought that I was taking us for granted. I can't blame her for that because of my history with women..."
The table went quiet momentarily when the waiter served them the main course.
"What did you plan to do?" Keisuke asked as soon as the waiter left.
Reito's lips curved up into a smile as he picked up his cutlery.
"I'll propose to her..."
"How is she doing?"
"Who?"
"You know who I'm talking about..."
Mai paused, staring back at the pool of cerulean blue before her. Aoi's stare was stubborn and she knew Aoi would keep questioning over and over again if she didn't give her at least one satisfying answer.
"She's doing good..." Mai said, nodding her head a few times as she jabbed at her salad, "And she has gotten even hotter than the last time I saw her..." Mai chuckled as she arched one brow playfully. Aoi quickly laughed.
"So...?"
"So what?"
Aoi rolled her eyes as she sighed heavily, "Seriously? Did being in the kitchen too long damaging your brain too? I mean about the thing that's going on between you two... Please tell me that you're dating..."
Mai smiled more, "What do you think?"
Aoi rested her arms against the counter top as she leaned forward, frowning as she inched closer to the playful Mai, "I think you're being stupid and I didn't come all the way from Hokkaido to play guessing games!"
Mai instantly laughed at Aoi's frustration while her brunette friend just watched at the hollow laughs—Aoi's brows involuntarily knotted.
"Is she dating someone else?"
Mai's smile dropped; she pursed her lips tight as she shrugged, "I can't be sure about that one. I never ask, she never tells..."
Aoi inhaled deeply as she leaned against the chair, "Up until this moment, you didn't even tell her? What the hell is going on with you?"
Mai remained quiet—she stared at the half-eaten salad in her bowl. She had been wondering the same thing all this time and yet, even she didn't have an answer. Now she started to doubt her decision—was it okay to have Natsuki back into her life?
Natsuki came back and yes, she was happy talking to her because she did miss her—a lot, to be exact. And of course her feelings still lingered. But at the same time, she knew it was wrong. It was wrong to be happy talking to her or even just seeing her. She felt like there was no place for her and she didn't fit in anywhere. Natsuki had a new life and there was no space.
She didn't belong in Natsuki's life anymore. So before she became happy, she had to remember what was on the real...
"She did great without me before... Why would I need to ruin that...?"
Shizuru watched Natsuki walk out of the cafe with a tray in her hands. Suddenly, she realized something. Wait... I forgot to tell Natsuki that I want a cup of jasmine tea—
"I bought a jasmine tea for you. Is that okay?" Natsuki asked as she placed one medium sized cup in front of Shizuru.
Ara? Shizuru blinked her eyes in surprise as she tilted her head up, meeting Natsuki's inquiring gaze.
"What?"
"How did you know that I wanted jasmine tea?"
There was a flicker of surprise in Natsuki's emerald orbs and Shizuru noticed it—but it quickly disappeared. A smug smile appeared afterwards and it was charmingly distracting.
"I'm that good!" Natsuki chuckled as she flopped onto her chair.
"Really? I'm not too convinced..." Shizuru arched a brow playfully while Natsuki laughed again.
"It was a mere guess..."
Shizuru blew a dejected sigh, "And here I thought Natsuki knew about my favourite... what a shame..."
Natsuki's brows twitched at the frustrated look on Shizuru's face and knew that brunette was acting, "Drop it, Shizuru. I'm not buying it. Besides, why did I need to know about your favourite anyway?"
"Because we're friends?"
The cup almost slipped itself off her grasp—Natsuki definitely could not argue with such reasoning. A sudden rush of heat slowly made its way towards her cheeks. She just didn't know why and how Shizuru's words managed to please and embarrass her at the same time.
One corner of Shizuru's lips tugged upwards into a mischievous smirk. She remained silent momentarily as she picked up her cup and took a sip of her tea. She even got the exact amount of sugar I usually prefer... Was it a total coincidence?
"Anyway, to what do I owe this pleasure?"
"What? I can't simply take you out for a dinner?" Natsuki interjected almost instantly.
Shizuru smiled again, "Well, you don't just take someone out for a dinner with no apparent reason. Unless you want to consider this as a date, I would gladly take it."
Damn this woman... Natsuki frowned again. "It's not a date! Don't flatter yourself," she scoffed, cheeks blazing red and Shizuru giggled.
They fell into silence as they sipped from their respective cups. Shizuru noticed Natsuki's inaudible sigh—she quickly knew that Natsuki probably had something troubling her. Shizuru bit her lower lips. She would love to know what was going on inside that beautiful girl's mind but she understood that they weren't that close to have a heart-to-heart conversation.
Yes, Natsuki did confront her about her issue with Reito; it didn't mean she should come forward and intrude with Natsuki's personal matters too. Maybe it was because of Natsuki's nature; honest and straightforward—two of the things that she quickly noticed about Natsuki.
But she wanted to. She wanted Natsuki to confide in her.
"Are you okay?"
The question definitely took Natsuki by surprise, "Y-yeah! Of course!"
"Really?"
Those eyes sure are kind of persuasive, Natsuki thought. She felt her defenses slowly crumbled at the kind and tender gaze Shizuru was upholding. Her throat automatically worked on a gulp—a sign that she was actually feeling nervous. She diverted her stare, gazing up at the clear sky above them. Lots of stars. At least she knew the night would be clear of rain, hopefully, because she would love to stay outside the cafe much longer, savouring the flavour of her favourite coffee and being able to sit in complete silence with someone without feeling awkward. She wondered how she managed to be that comfortable with Shizuru. It never happened with anyone, other than her closest friends, of course. Not to mention, she wasn't that close with Shizuru, yet.
"You should be happy for the one you love, right? Even though they're going away for years, 5,000 miles away from you... You should be happy for them..." Natsuki lowered her head, finding Shizuru's eyes fixated on hers, "...right?"
Shizuru didn't have to wonder who Natsuki was referring to. News spread fast and words moved around like air. The hotel was a small place after all, and of course nothing could be left out of her knowledge. She felt the muscles on her face tingle—it felt like goosebumps. Her heart was being pulled and she felt like something was swirling in her stomach. What is this feeling? Am I being jealous?
"Distance doesn't mean a thing. You shouldn't really care how far apart you'll be. If they're the one for you, you will find them eventually." Shizuru said—there was a little crack in her voice. She wondered why she had to answer it like that.
Natsuki blinked a couple of times, taking a deep breath as she shifted in her seat, "I'm not really worried about distance... Time, that's the one I'm worried about. I don't know if I can give any while I'm running out of it every second."
Shizuru found Natsuki's eyes again—lost and insecure, maybe a little bit of fear?
"There's always time."
"I've waited for so long."
"Sometimes we don't even understand why we are waiting. But also, maybe it is time for you to let go."
There—she said it. Shizuru felt like slapping her own mouth. She instantly swallowed the lump inside her throat as she watched Natsuki's face slowly change. She looks more relaxed now. They fell into silence again. Both of them quickly moved for their cups as they silently took a sip while trying hard to avoid eye contact.
"I hate that feeling when I realize giving up is the only option I have left. I'm always the one who loves more. That's my problem." Natsuki threw her head back, closing her eyes.
Shizuru stared into her cup, only to find her own reflection staring back at her.
"Love shouldn't feel circumstantial. It shouldn't feel as if you love that person more or vice versa. The effort shouldn't be one-sided—it's your choice. They never forced you to stay by their side and suffer. But if you're willing to put up the fight, to wait, to go through everything all over again... I hope that person is really worth it."
Natsuki couldn't help but smile at the answers Shizuru was giving. Through her teasing and playful nature, Natsuki found a very mature, wise and sensible woman. Not to mention a very beautiful one. She was glad she asked Shizuru out for dinner and though she didn't expect their conversation could lead into her personal matters, she was happy it did. Truthfully, she didn't know where to go with everything that happened between her and Mai.
"Do you believe in giving someone a second chance?" Natsuki asked, fiddling with her fingers as she inhaled deeply.
Shizuru only smiled at the question, "Why bother giving second chances when there is someone waiting for their first?" Her eyes twinkled slightly and it didn't go unnoticed by Natsuki.
What...was that? Natsuki thought she saw something in those crimson eyes and it made her heart jumped violently.
Shizuru had to avert her stare and she quickly took a mouthful of her lukewarm tea, for she was afraid that Natsuki might notice something more than she was allowed to see.
Or maybe Natsuki already did? I really need to be careful with my words next time…
"You know… maybe…" Shizuru paused when Natsuki shot another gaze at her, inquiring and a bit more demanding than it was earlier, "Maybe you two really are meant to be together. Maybe in the near future when everything is clear and her priorities are different than how they are now…"
"Maybe?"
Why am I doing this…? Shizuru forced another smile, "Maybe…"
Natsuki curtly scoffed as she shook her head. Shizuru just wasn't sure whether Natsuki was agreeing with her words or just plainly laughing at her incredulous thought.
"How ironic… I have to end something that never even started…" Natsuki sighed as she scratched her head, messing up her hair slightly—which happened to be incredibly sexy to a certain brunette.
They are not dating? I really didn't expect that coming… Shizuru just remained quiet as Natsuki let out another sigh.
"At least it never did. The outcome wouldn't come out as bad as to someone who was once devoted to it…"
"Heh! Are you talking about yourself?"
"Touché…" Shizuru's brows knotted into a soft frown. Natsuki instantly laughed.
"Seriously, I thought when someone went through a break-up, they didn't take shower for days, and they didn't eat nor sleep…" Natsuki rested her elbows on the table as she leaned forward slightly, "You're the total opposite… Are you really done with my brother that fast?"
"I don't like to waste more time over something that is not working out…" Shizuru finished her tea and she leaned closer to the blunette, "Besides, I would really love to expand my horizon instead being stuck with one mediocre relationship." Shizuru winked playfully.
That definitely elicited more laughs from Natsuki as she slapped her knees in mirth.
"Mediocre? Really? It's that easy, huh? So you're implying that your relationship with Reito was only a lie and it no longer matters to you?" Natsuki narrowed her eyes at the pair of crimson before her. Suddenly everything about that brunette sparked her curiosity and she just couldn't hold herself back from asking.
Shizuru's lips tugged into a wide smile, "My relationship with Reito wasn't a lie. At some point, he did win a place in my heart. I cared about him. I still do." Shizuru admitted, "I enjoyed being with him. He made me happy. He's a great friend and an amazing boyfriend any girl could wish for... but..."
"But…?" Natsuki blinked when Shizuru paused again.
But then you came… You changed everything.
She would love to say it out loud but that would be utterly crazy. Shizuru mentally shook the thought out of her head when she felt Natsuki's stare was like burning a hole right through her.
For a moment, Shizuru was quiet as she stared at her empty cup, Natsuki worried that she had gone overboard with her questions. She thought maybe Shizuru wasn't over Reito after all. But when Shizuru tilted her head up and smiled back at her, Natsuki couldn't help but sigh in relief, quietly.
"I think it is maybe because we're seeing things in life differently now. I can no longer see myself in the future with him," Shizuru said. "The moment when he got the idea he possessed me in a certain way—that was exactly the moment I grew tired of him."
Natsuki flexed her fingers, her gaze never leaving Shizuru's, "That's the thing I don't understand… How did you manage to stop loving someone that once mattered to you?"
"I didn't," Shizuru answered instantly. "Nobody ever will. You don't simply stop and forget. But I moved on and I've gotten so much better. That's the thing about love and honestly, I don't understand it any better than you."
Natsuki chuckled as she rubbed her temple, "God... this is beyond confusing..."
Shizuru elicited more laughs, "Don't worry… when you meet the person who completes you, you'll understand why you had to let go of all the people who couldn't make it with you. You'll understand why it's never been them in the first place. Love wasn't made to be easy; otherwise we wouldn't end up with the right person. We would end up with the first one who comes along. By struggling, we single out the wrong ones and realize who is the one."
Natsuki found Shizuru's eyes on hers again—they twinkled the way they did earlier and it did something to her, like some sort of electricity, surging through her veins and to her heart. It made her heart pump faster—way faster than she could possibly imagine.
Seriously... what the hell is going on with me?
"If I tell her now and leave afterwards, it wouldn't be fair to her. I don't want to burden her with something that is not even certain."
"But you are sure about your feelings, right?"
"I am!"
"Then what's stopping you?"
Mai found herself tongue-tied at the question. She looked down at the small plastic cup in her hands—chocolate mint ice-cream was slowly melting. Their conversation was carried on from the kitchen to the living room where they were sitting on the couch, enjoying the dessert.
Aoi narrowed her eyes at Mai's prolonged silence, she knew something was wrong but she couldn't put a finger on it, yet.
"Is there something I don't know? Are you keeping something from me?"
God, this woman with her sharp instinct! Mai instantly shook her head, "No. There's nothing. Trust me. If there is, you're the first person to know about it..."
They went into silence again. Mai took a glance at her clock—15 minutes till 9:00 pm. Takumi would be home anytime soon, so she should get the dinner ready. Mai puffed out a heavy sigh and Aoi instantly turned to look at her.
"Anyway, I'm leaving to France soon. I just don't do long distance relationships... I don't believe in them." Mai said as she got off the couch.
"I don't think you're leaving... I think you're trying to run away."
Mai's feet stopped its advance towards the kitchen. She just froze there, unable to turn around as Aoi spoke more words which hit her like a perfect pitch.
"And, honestly what I can't figure out is, are you running towards something you want? Or are you running away from something you're afraid to have?"
Mai flexed her fingers and balled them into a fist—her nails digging into her palm, which was supposed to be painful, but instead she felt numb.
"I really wish it isn't the latter..."
It was dark—she blinked her eyes a couple of times. It was hard when you were trying to sleep but your eyes wouldn't comply with your request. Was it because of the 3 cups of coffee she downed earlier? She mentally shook her head. 3 cups are not that much…
She remembered back when she was in college, she once had 7 cups of Americano in one night so she could stay up and complete her coursework. When she finally finished her work, she was extremely tired and wanted to sleep but her eyes were wide open. It was like she was on drugs and it annoyed Haruka to no end because she just couldn't stop talking.
Though she managed to get herself to sleep (thanks to Haruka's iPod, which mostly filled with Mariah Carey's songs—up until now she couldn't stop wondering how she could fall asleep with that playlist), Haruka thought once was more than enough. She was prohibited from drinking Americano or any kind of coffee for a month. It was for cleansing purposes, Haruka said.
Well, like she would listen to Haruka anyway. She had a tall cup of latte the next morning for breakfast. Haruka was furious like a wounded lion, but of course, one Mariah Carey's latest CD with a free poster were really handy when it comes to tame the angry Armitage.
Natsuki snickered softly as she remembered that moment. She noticed her eyes were slowly getting heavier with each blink. As she was about to drift off to sleep, her phone blared loudly with her Skrillex ringtone—Natsuki felt like throwing the phone out the window.
She quickly tossed around to find her phone, which was lying somewhere underneath the jumble of sheets and pillows. When she finally got her phone, she looked at the screen—her eyes widened slightly at the unexpected name that appeared on the screen.
"Shizuru?"
"Ara? You're still awake?" Shizuru responded almost immediately; her voice was a tad surprised.
"Well, duh? Why are you calling me so late? Is something wrong?"
There was a soft chuckle on the other line—Natsuki couldn't help but to smile. A short pause ensued and Natsuki barely missed the sigh which came after.
"I was worried about you…"
That definitely took Natsuki off-guard and suddenly, she felt like something was choking in her throat. She thought Shizuru was being unfair and she made it very difficult for her to stop this unknown, yet kind of familiar feeling that was slowly developing inside her. Too soon... this is just too soon...
"I-I'm fine... There's nothing to be worried about..." Natsuki mentally scorned herself for stuttering.
Shizuru let out another small chuckles and Natsuki found her heart rate escalate with each laughter.
Slowly, she started to realize; it was hard not to fall in love with someone when she saw the mixed up parts of your soul; when she understood the gloomy and disconsolate state of your mind.
"I'm glad to hear that. Anyway, I was just checking if you're still awake. My instinct was right. You can't sleep, can you? Stop thinking too much, okay? You need to give yourself a break..."
When it was four in the morning and she called because she knew you were not asleep.
Short, I know... T_T
I have plenty to write but I think it is better to leave it like this because I'm afraid it might disturb the whole structure of this chapter.
Anyway, I would like to wish an early greeting! Merry Christmas, everybody!
Till then, review please!