i meet god (Oh God why?)
i woke up in heven. (You're not in the right place) soulja boy wuz playin (Hmm…My interest in heaven is slowly decreasing) an i saw dis big ol nigga in a wit robe dat lookd lik 50 cent. (I don't know what's more offensive, this image of God or the abundence of "Stanist" elements in My Immortal)
"hello turtle" he sed.
"how do u no mi name" i sed
"bcuz im god turtle" (You don't say?) he sed i wuz amased.
"am i ded" i sed (Meh, not really)
"yes u r" sed god.
"den dat meen..." i sed (What?)
"yes it duz" (WHAT?) sed god "but dont cri turtle cuz it aint yo tym yet so im senden u bak. i wan u 2 kill dat evil jew hu killd mi only son" (Whoa, Snape killed Jesus? This is...Hmm, but from what I remember, the Jews did ask for Jesus' death. And since Snape is sort of Jewish here...Did I just spot a correct historical/biblical reference?)
"yes lod" i sed.
"an rememba turtle, i will alweys bein wachin ova u. goodbi" sed god (This is the bad guy, God!)
"godbi" i sed.
i woke up in mi room
"wuz wrong" sed hary pottr "u look wit as a cracker"
"aw noddin" i sed.
"well u woke up jus in tim" (For da crakers who are too lazy to read the whole dialogue, here's a summary: "Are you ok?" "Yes" "Okay, let's play Quidditch!") sed shieqwaz "da bromstik chaminship is stardin an ur da star playa" (Of course "turtle" who does nothing should be the star playa, not doze wit crakers that play Quidditch all day!)
Oh, was that the whole chapter? Bahaha, I miss My Immortal!