Prentiss

After their arguments on what they should do about me, I had a shower and sat in the darkness of my room and in bed for a while. After rather late, Reid came in and said goodnight to me. I returned it to him and told him to tell the others that too. Once they left, Rossi came to make sure I was okay before he went to his office downstairs to do paperwork.

I couldn't believe what they had been saying in the living room earlier. JJ's words seemed harsh although they weren't intended that way. I couldn't believe Hotch would bring up my depression and anxiety as just a teenager but most of all, I couldn't believe how much I was affecting them. They were hurt and worried for me but they were also growing further apart from each other. It wasn't often JJ and Reid would speak to each other the way they had.

I waited for a very long time; fighting to keep my eyes open until I was sure he had gone to bed and was asleep. I slipped out of the bed and wrote a small note that read:

I heard you downstairs. I'm sorry for ruining everything. I love you all and please look after Sergio. I don't know where I'm going but it will be away from Virginia and you won't have to worry about me ever again; I promise.

All my love,

Emily.

I put the note in the centre of the bed after I made it and I packed everything I could fit into one of my bags. Sergio was lying on the bed after running in when Rossi opened it earlier and he sat watching me as I tip toed around the room.

I kissed the top of his head and a few tears fell down my cheeks. "I love you so much, baby boy." I whispered to him. I petted him a few times and kissed him again before grabbing my bag and opening the door to the small balcony. I wouldn't use the front or back door; that would risk waking Rossi and it wouldn't turn out good at all. I looked at the ground from here and then to the side where a sturdy pipe strayed down the wall. I dropped my bag to the ground and then climbed down using the pipe. It was scary but it worked. I picked up my bag and walked around the house to the front and through the trees. I walked down the long driveway and it seemed like it took forever to get onto the road.

I stuck to the trees and walked for as long as I could before I was officially exhausted. I kept going until I found a hotel and I went inside, checked in under a fake name and payed cash. I requested that reception didn't tell anyone I was here and I made my way to the room.

I tried to sleep for a few hours and was about 2 hours in before I woke from my nightmares. They seemed to be worse and more livid when I was alone with no one else around to offer any kind of protection.

I couldn't fall back asleep so I drank until I passed out.

I woke in the late morning and realised the mistake I made. I jumped right up, ignoring the protest my body and mind were both screaming. I had a very fast shower and got changed before going downstairs quickly. I asked the receptionist if anyone had come looking for me and she said no one that she knew of. That was a relief. Rossi was probably still asleep; he did stay up rather late and he was exhausted. I checked out and hit the road again, walking on the tree line again.

I had no idea where I was going or how long I was walking. I didn't want to stay in Virginia; it was too easy for them to find me here. I got on a bus at the next bus stop I passed and caught it to Washington DC, this was around an hour. It was 1:15 pm by the time I got there. I went to the closet store and grabbed a bottle of water before taking the next route to Pittsburgh. This was about 7 hours and I got there by 8:22 pm. I went to the closest store there and got something very small to eat just to keep me going. I had switched my phone off since leaving the hotel this morning.

I checked into a new hotel for tonight and pulled the same brief story. I have reason to believe someone may be following me and can the hotel staff please claim to have not seen me. I checked in under a fake name and paid with cash.

I went to sleep early, waking several times and waking early in the morning completely worn out but I couldn't stop moving or they'd find me. I got up, showered and changed before going to reception and checking out. I went from Pittsburgh to Canton next, taking approximately 8 hours. I reached that destination at around 3 pm. I then went from there to Columbus, Ohio. This was around 7 hours and I got there by around 10 pm. I ate something very small and checked into another hotel using the same system as I did the past two nights.

I had a few drinks before lying down in bed and finally turning my phone on. A million messages and calls and Garcia no doubt had my number hooked to a tracking system.

It rang after a minute or so and I declined Hotch's call before turning it back off and putting it down. Hopefully it was on long enough for them to assume I was okay but not long enough for Garcia to track me.

I turned the TV on and watched the crap reruns for a while before turning it back off and lying down completely. I stared at a small photo of Sergio I had in my wallet for a while before bringing the one behind it forwards. It was a photo of the team and I at JJ and Will's wedding. Tears once again fell down my cheeks. I didn't know why I was doing this to myself. I guess it was because I deserved the pain I caused on myself from being away from my team; the only people who were able to offer me anything positive. I wanted to go back to them and apologise and get better and go to work and catch criminals and complain on the hot days where I had to sit at my desk for what seemed like forever. I wanted to spin around in my chair and laugh with Reid, Morgan and JJ. I wanted to be able to go into Garcia's office and unexpectedly surprise her with coffee, hot chocolate or any type of food that she loved or even a photo of Sergio. I wanted to walk to Rossi's office and tell him about something I thought was exciting but couldn't tell anyone else because they wouldn't understand. I wanted to make jokes and try to be the first one to make Hotch's hard composure fade so he would smile. We had a competition that restarted every day. I wanted to be back there, going out for dinner and drinks with the only people in the world I had left.

I wanted to forget about everything that has ever happened to me except for them and my job. I cried myself to sleep eventually, my cheeks burning and my eyes stinging from the hot tears.

I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed but I knew I had to do something. I pushed myself up and ordered room service. I tried to be normal and eat the pancakes but when I smelt them, I felt sick and when I looked at them, I felt sicker. When I ate them and forced myself to finish them, I threw them right back up and I don't think I'll ever be able to eat pancakes again.

I didn't know whether I was sick or my body was already rejecting the food. I had a glass of water and had a shower; standing under the very hot stream and watching the blood swirl down into the drain from my wrists. I got out after a long while and got dressed. The first shirt I got out was a short sleeve and I contemplated removing everything to find the long sleeves at the bottom but I realised that the team wasn't here. No one in the streets would care or even notice. I didn't need to hide my wrists. I went with the short sleeve and grabbed a jacket in case I got cold. I went downstairs and said a quick polite hello to the receptionist as I walked passed and went through the big glass doors.

I went to one of many museums in Columbus and walked through a few shops to entertain myself for a few hours. I came across a book store that was closing down and had a sale where all books were between $8 and 50c. I went in and must have bought 50 books. I had two bags full of books so I swung by the hotel, dropped all of them off and picked out two. I slipped the two into my bag and left the hotel again, walking around until I got tired, which was very quick with the little amount of energy I had. I powered through the shops but I was exhausted as I entered a small, beautiful park. There were flowers of all different kinds and colours and benches all around. Several dogs ran around with their owners and I sat under a tree on an old bench. I got one of the books out and started reading it.

I returned to the hotel as it fell dark. I went to walk passed reception but the young woman called me back, "Excuse me, ma'am."

I walked back and smiled, "Emily."

"Ah, so you are Emily. A woman called, I think she said her name was Penelope. She was looking for you and I didn't know what to tell her so I just said I hadn't seen anyone she was describing."

"Thank you so much." I smiled.

"Is she who you're hiding from? Is it serious? Shall I ask security to keep an eye out or call the police?"

"Oh, no, not at all. She's not dangerous or anything. Basically, I left town unexpectedly and I'm trying to stay away from her as well as my other close friends in the hopes that they can continue without me."

"I'm sorry you've had to go through so much trouble." She seemed genuinely interested.

I smiled, "It's been hard but I'll survive."

She nodded, "Well, have a good night."

"You too." I walked away and back to my room.