And after the long wait, here is chapter 10. As I've said this is connected to the USUK on-going story entitled, "Sealed Fate" ^^. I've used a certain quotation from FATE/ZERO's Gilgamesh at the end.
CHAPTER X
"FATE"
"May both of us have a good life."
"The pink petals of wisteria falls meaning the seasons are now changing yet the feelings that harbors within me clings in desperation to remain unmoving and unclear…"
There sat by the wisteria tree was the Queen of Hearts, fingers playing with the petals that had rained on his lap. Those petals also indicated just how long he had been sitting there. Why does one plant flower when it would only wither away and soon turn into nothing more but dust? No, that goes with…. Why does everything exist if it's merely for dying?
That's how fate goes and one can't stop it from ever unfolding… That's something his mother would say but why did meeting Ludwig seem so different? Each time he would meet his gaze…Each time his hand would brush against his touch…. Each time his lips would- "Soft…" Kiku's hand fell on his bottom lip while his cheeks grew slightly flushed. It has been fairly months but he could still feel it… Those sweet and tender lips upon his own- the very same lips that made every bit of the world vanish from just one 'sinful' touch.
"No… I must not let it affect me like how it affected mother—what I'm feeling is nothing more but the shock of it all. It is the fact that I am not used to being around people that makes me feel uncomfortable and unsettled. As Queen, it is my responsibility to-"
"-To uphold all the values and duties of the monarchy as best suited to my position," Continued a voice from behind him. Almost immediately, the Queen of Hearts clenches his fists and closed his head. Clearly he was displeased by such intrusion yet he remained as calmed as he always was. "I offered my thoughts and you merely ignored me… How rude but that is what to be expected from the powerful Queen of Hearts."
Kiku opened his eyes once more and looked at where the voice was coming from- There sat on the wisteria's branch, a man clad in black. His attire of darkness contrasts those of his silver hair and great crimson eyes. A smug smirk upon his lips was found as he was swinging his legs back and forth. He should be calling for the guards… but Kiku didn't for this being was far from being subdued by anyone but him and his authority. This being that can weave and unweave fates' decision with such a price so unjust that it can both ruin and give birth to everything. The being that equals the fates hands if given authority by a wish strong enough to even summon such a being- the Black Joker. "What a pleasant surprise… " Kiku started before standing up from his seat and slowly walking by the tree. He sets his hand on the wisteria's trunk and looked up to the said being with a sly smile. "I am sure I did not summon you nor did anything to disturb you, Black Joker… yet you appear infront of me—What do I owe the fates for you to visit me?"
"You're right. I wasn't called by your thoughts nor anyone's for that matter, I was merely enjoying the sight of the wisteria. " The Joker said before jumping down and landing on the fine cut grass beneath it. "That was until I heard your little mumbling…" He said before returning his gaze at the Queen who seemed to give him the look of pure deceit. "
"My mumblings have nothing to do with you or your partner of great mischievousness." Kiku said before putting his sleeve-covered hand over his mouth, as if to hide his expression- clearly a tactic towards communication with someone he didn't trust.
"Did I say it was?" The black joker cooed and laughed softly before gazing up to the falling wisteria. "The Queens of Hearts never fail to amuse me along with the troubled heart you posses concerning duties and responsibilities."
To His Majesty the Queen of Hearts, Queen Kiku;
We extend our most gracious greetings to you and your monarchy. A privilege it is for us, lowest rank of Suits, to write to you and inform you of our little celebration that requires your attendance of utmost importance.
It is by Spades' humble request for you to join us in this little gathering fit for the welcome of our Ace. We sincerely hope you shall come.
Most Respectfully Yours,
Yao, Knave of Spades.
Those words hit Kiku like an arrow on a target; the bad thing was, that damn arrow hit every target of guilt he had. His thoughts were seen as if it was written on those blasted pages of fate and those blasted Jokers just added to his infuriation. He was indeed thinking of his responsibilities… An Ace had made its appearance in Spades and surely it disrupted the balance he worked so much to maintain, like any Queen of Hearts. "An Ace only makes one's appearance if the desire of the monarchy aligns with the element the Kingdom manipulates and the Kingdom takes pride in." The joker explains before slowly walking up to the Queen of Hearts who seemed to be rather in deep thought. "That means… The King and Queen's minds and desires are set into one that matches their Kingdom—Clearly, an ideal one, yes?" The Joker said as he captured a petal from the wisteria flower.
"You need not explain such situations familiar to me, Joker." Kiku flinched upon hearing that but chose to remain calm. "Are you implying something that isn't to my knowledge?"
"I am not… I'm clearly stating facts from nothing more but pure written records. The Queens of Hearts are but the most knowledgeable monarch in all of the four Kingdom but I've discovered something strange." He said softly while eyeing the Queen he spoke of. "The King and Queen's minds are never such equally eager— But in Spades, it seems their minds are quite in synced. To think they'll be able to do that in just a few months of reigning together. Mostly some of them are either in chaos or complete misunderstanding!" The Joker said with a shrug of his shoulder, seemingly mocking him.
The tricky jester of a trump- He will not give in with just mere question of unconscious curiosity. "My question remains…. Are you implying something that isn't to my knowledge?
"And my answers remains, Queen of Hearts."
Kiku wanted to summon his katana. The very same katana he used in The King's Oath taking ceremony- that one item he had as a medium of containing his magic but he knew this logical game of misinterpretation was something the Joker was so very fond of. "I ask you this, Joker: Name your purpose."
"Quick aren't we? Can't we engage is a conversation that we are enjoying?" The joker chuckled before merely jumping up to sit on the tree branch once more, wearing a grin for a game of playful deceit.
One more can play it in this game. Kiku wore that sweet smile which everyone in the council were very much afraid of and choose to see hear him scowl rather than him be seen smiling like that. "You already said you are amused with me so this clearly must be a conversation you are enjoying. I ask again, what do you imply? A Joker never appears if not summoned and only if there's a warning to be heeded."
"Ah, you've caught me! Alas, why~" The joker said playfully before laughing. "My dear Queen of hearts listen well~ ! Upon the appearance of the ace of spear, the hand of time will quiver, the winds will go cold, the earth shall rock and the water will be tainted. Everything will be set and the play shall move to another scene of conspiracy and despair. Each one's fate is sealed and will follow just one lane for complete destruction and pain."
"Never mistake a Wisteria for a Sakura... Never mistake a Rose for a Crocus and never mistake the Queen for a King. I say, your words are not of warning but clearly of your own doing: A prophecy of lies and untold mockery where the truth is twisted and self-decreed…"
"You wound me." The Joker said in a sigh of playful acting. "Call it what you wish but that is what is written and truth be told, no one did say I will not be part of this. Queen of Hearts, I tell you this because you asked and I see no pleasure in lying so why doubt me~"
There was silence as both of their gazes met. He didn't like him and obviously, the feeling is the same on the other side.
My son, heed not the truth of deceit that comes from the trump jester of fate who come- for if you will, the values we hold dear shall be declared null and tainted.
That's right. His mother's words echoed through his mind as he looked at the jester of fate. He shouldn't be fooled. He shouldn't be affected for if one those elements he had mentioned will not happen, everything would be not moving and everything would be fine.
"As we talk about monarchs, my interests rest on your King, my dearest Queen of Hearts. You have told him of everything he'd needed and prepared him for the task that he alone must be able to do—yet you told him nothing of yourself. "
Snap. The Queen of Hearts' stoic expression of deception and demeanor of intellect dropped to the floor in mere seconds as his fury could no longer be contained by words alone. "Leave my King be and your tongue shall not suffer my wrath." His voice clearly of anger and he was sure to do what he says when he was in this state.
But the Joker wasn't one to be moved by this at all. He knew his place well. "The same words your dear mother said—Truly, the both of you are related." However, the joker's eyes darkened for one moment. This fact made Kiku frown and clench his fists under his sleeve. Did the Joker noticed how affectionate he was? Did he— "I'm sure you do not wish to suffer her written fate as she chose to take her life instead of taking the King's."
"My mother…No, Queen Takiko, did that like every Queen of Hearts' pride would dictate. Nothing else matters to us Queens than our Pride and our people!" Kiku defended and even stood up from his seat. It was his mother's sacrifices being questioned here and he will not tell a soul that even the records didn't hold.
Kings of Hearts were obligated to give their lives if there comes a time when the Kingdom was beyond help. This ceremony lay similar to those of the Queens of the other three Kingdoms. It was also the main reason why royals were forbidden to love one another. It would only hinder them from doing their responsibilities.
The Queen, however, lay somewhat different. Whilst the King's duty may rest mainly on the people, the one who is in the Queen's position, had to fulfill the role of preserving the Royal bloodline by means of having a son or daughter with the King or concubine appointed by the court, regardless of anything. The Queen serves the people and the monarchy just as much as any King of the three Kingdoms only added with the fact that, a Queen of Hearts also serves the four Kingdoms by maintaining equality and order.
But unlike the any other monarchs in the four Kingdoms, the Queen of Hearts could take the position of the King of hearts when it comes to being the sacrifice.
"No."
"But Queen Takiko-"
"Did you not hear me?" Takiko asked in a hushed manner while looking at the wisteria blossoms that had made its way to her room. Her Ace, who resembled her stayed unmoving as she was sitting beside the Queen.
"Kiku needs you. You are his mother, Takiko. It is best for me to be the one to be the sacrifice. You are important to me as much as Kayo is," explained the King of Hearts whose gaze was fixed upon the Queen, his friend and the mother of his child. There was silence to envelop the room and the seven year old successor of Hearts, lay hidden outside the door way, listening to everything. Kayo was their Knave who died protecting Kiku from assassins. She was also the King's…. wife. "Takiko, our son had passed the first step into the ceremony of being a Queen. He needs you more than he needs me. "
"No, I am the Queen of Hearts before I am his mother. He understands that fact full well and soon he will be the next Queen of Hearts. " Those words stung every bit of his soul but he merely listened, lips quivering and tears dropping from his eyes. The Kingdom…was always first place than him. Duties were always the ones on top. After all… he was just the successor of the Kingdom…. He was not brought to this world from love and affection… He was not like the son of two loving parents—where did those words even come from? He merely exists to be the heir of Hearts… as fate dictates that he would be the son of the Queen and King regardless of their affections towards one another.
Kiku covered his ears as he tried to contain his sobs. He doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to see it. Everything outside was horrible as hunger draped over the lands and wars were on the fields. People say he was lucky? How can it be so when his parents did not even exchange those affections clearly customary for them to do? How can it be when he had to watch people die for him? How can it be when he could not even step outside the palace? How can it be when his life wasn't his own? How can it be if….
"Kayo, the woman I love, died because of this Kingdom… Queen Takiko, I cannot live in a world that Kayo doesn't exist!"
"…. Do you regret… becoming my King?" Kiku opened his eyes only to his mother's tear dropping as she stared down at the bowing King. "H-How dare you… H-How dare you….S-She was my best friend… S-She saved my son….The wife of my King… She saved my monarchy… W-What do you think do I feel?!" She sank unto her knees as she cried, " Kai…. Y-you're… t-the only… p-person…I-I thought… who understood… h-how I felt…. A-And now… " There, her coughing started again. Her body wasn't matching up with how she wished.
"Leave her." Said the ace as she took her robes from the side and puts it on the Queen who was coughing so much. "You should know your place. As King, you have no right to question the Queen's wish."
The King was silent before the Queen said, "My death… is best for all. For my son… and I hope for you as well… "
"How unusual this is, indeed… You show emotions like no Queen of Hearts have. " The Joker said before laughing. "Continue to entertain me, Queen Kiku. " Then just like that the jester of fate vanished leaving the Queen of Hearts to ponder what had he done. Him…Show emotion towards the Joker? He looked upon his own hand, body slightly trembling upon the sudden realization of what had happened. He was left to stare there for a while before he closed his opened hands. No, the Joker had no idea… No one found out anything about his affections with his King. He had to hide it. He had to hide it no matter what. No one must know or else everything would just end like how it ended with his mother's reign. Kiku will not follow the path she had taken.
What of his affections for Arthur? Perhaps, things have changed, slightly changed…. Perhaps little by little that affection was slowly fading…changing into nothing more but the friendship that it should be… Love is not some sort of accessory that one can removed if it didn't went well with attires nor was something that could be bought and just be told. He loved Arthur so much as to wish him happiness in the arms of another. He wished him every bit of happiness he could… even the same happiness for himself, like how he wished all the people of Hearts all the smiles that he could never wear truthfully.
But then… he closed his palms and covered it with his other hand—as if sealing it from being open ever again.
When it came to Ludwig… it was different. He wanted him… He craved him. He wanted to claim him as his and his alone- nobody else's. Why did his body crave Ludwig's touch….? Why is he longing for something so forbidden…? He should know better than fall for something so much as to be called taboo. Why did everything become so unclear ever since he had woken up in Ludwig's arms. His resolve crumbled with just one touch of his skin; His thoughts vanished with just the sound of his voice; and worst of all, his heart numbed with just a glance from his sky-like eyes. 'It's all Ludwig's fault…' He thought to himself as he looked at the wisteria once more. 'It's all his fault for making me feel this way… for saying all those words… to me… '
I'm inlove with you.
Ludwig… had confessed his feelings towards him a few weeks ago and he had not even given him a proper reply. Though he said that he shouldn't trouble himself with it, Kiku couldn't just set that aside! He was hurting him and he didn't need to hear it from him. He wasn't dense enough to not notice just how much Ludwig lingered for an answer! He was hurting the King he adores and what hurt the most was that he didn't know what else to say! It wasn't written in any records on how to answer confessions like that!
Alas, it was time for him to stop mumbling to himself and set his mind at ease. He couldn't just think about Spade's monarchy because Arthur is there-He couldn't. He had to think about his own monarchy… He didn't have the luxury of ever thinking anything else but his duty. The joker has given him warning and it is best heeded than ignored.
He should really apologize to Feliciano and Ludwig… That's the best option to start and then he could send his spies before going to Spades to know how the other Kingdoms are doing and what they're current situation is. He raised his hand from as if punching the skies. "Yes, that's right… I should—"
"Queen?" Kiku turned his head and his eyes widened in pure surprised, again those eyes shimmered in life as he stared at the person standing before him. The moon chose this moment to take a peek from those the curtains of the skies, the clouds, giving light down on the small openings from the leaves and flowers of the wisteria above him and if it wasn't annoying enough, a warm welcoming gust of wind added…. Kiku set his hand down, embarrassment all over his face as he looked down.
Ludwig. Ah, everything vanished… Fates, he said he would apologize, yes, but couldn't it wait for tomorrow? Wasn't dealing with that blasted Joker enough for the day? Of course, it wasn't… In his life where the author was not exactly contented with being normal, he had to cope with changes like this. He had to cope quickly or else… he will continue to be speechless most of the time—in moments like this….
"Ludwig… How long have you been there?" He asked as he lets his hands slide down to hide his hands. Of course, Ludwig was no fool to not notice this. He knew the Queen far too much but he didn't dare mutter something that would worsen the mood he was already in.
"Long enough to see that you pumping your fists above your head and proclaiming something you have to do-" Ludwig simply said in all honesty. It was truly a weird sight but nonetheless it was something fascinating. He would normally just see him all prim and proper and let's just say seeing this childish behavior was somewhat fresh in his eyes.
However his words earned him a good glare. "Don't you dare breathe a word to anyone about this-" The Queen said with a hint of annoyance. Sure, he must really be quite embarrassed about it but it wasn't a good thing to glare.
"Yes, your majesty." Ludwig simply agreed and stepped down to the grass. Kiku sighed once more before softening his gaze at the King of Hearts. His King. The person whom he chose out of a bet with Arthur; The person whom learnt everything so fast; The person whose devotion rivals any King of Hearts; And lastly, the person whom confessed his affections to him. He was a King who passed every hurdle who failed to notice his importance in the world and merely choose to comply with fates' bound thread.
Kiku was about to ask what he needed when he caught sight of the flowers in his hands. "Chrysanthemums?" He asked before approaching. "Where did you get this? This flower is quite rare in the capital-"
"Oh these-" Ludwig said with a slight smile before giving the bouquet to him. The bouquet of pure white chrysanthemums and a single purple iris in the middle of it which Feliciano coined with a given message to the receiver was being eyed by the ebony haired Queen of Hearts. "I've gotten these from a child I've met at town… I tried to look for you and Feliciano since one of your numbers said you went without an escort."
'What a lucky child to be even able to talk to him at ease…' Thought the Queen of Hearts before taking the bouquet. A bouquet that he knew all too well the meaning. It was unfair actually. It was really unfair. At first sight he knew Ludwig's intention with them yet he still accepted it. How could one deny a gift from someone you adore? That would be like being asked to eat something delicious yet one chose to eat nothing much but wheat. "King…do you really the meaning of this flowers?"
"Your majesty, the real question would be—Do you accept the meaning of the flowers you are now holding?"
"Why do you always answer my question with a question? That's just clearly infuriating."
"Because there's nothing more to answer other than another question-"Ludwig answered while smiling gently.
Dear Diary,
I finally chose a King and Knave… I won't be lonely, right?
Kiku closed his eyes and smiled as the King of Hearts just returned it with his own. "And I thought you require me to not give you an answer…"
"I found out I can't be stupid like that towards the sovereign that I serve… If I wanted to be someone useful in your monarchy, the first thing I have to understand is how painful the truth can be. And what other pain can match the words from your lips."
"You make it sound like I speak utter poison."
"Did it hurt?"
"And there I was praising the fact that you were the perfect choice regardless of my methods. May I ask… in front of these flowers… Why did you say those words to me?"
"Because they are what has been and will always be in my heart…"
"A fool…"
"How harsh!"
"You expected the painful truth so here I give you painful. Does it hurt?"
"No… It's just as what I've expected. You said so yourself- I'm a fool so no matter how painful it is, the pain is bearable. "
"I see…"
Ludwig merely stood there in silence, merely watching his Queen since he knew that he-by no right- had no permission to touch him at all. It was somehow funny how both of them asked the question concerning each other being hurt from such words they knew would never hurt their deceitful tongues or make their bodies bleed but would scar their souls like no wound could ever do. "Then… tell me… Why am I in the most pain… could it be that my poisonous tongue had inflicted myself with poison?"Kiku asked as he tightened his grip on the flowers."I am a liar, Ludwig… I lie for my own convenience and I will keep doing that to rid myself of any obstacles…With that said, are you still willing to listen to my answer?"
"Perhaps it's because you understand everything better now than you did before, Queen... You've only grown to understand things more clearly than others... At any case, I have to hear it. "
"If I tell you I hate you... it is hurtful. If I tell you something the opposite-it will just be as hurtful. You see now, right? With such lies and deceit my existence had proved... it is utter insult for me to hear such words of taboo..." Ludwig was surprised to see tears falling from those chocolate eyes he adored, hand twitching- seemingly wanting to wipe them away.
Ah how painful indeed… Both of them were smiling their pain away as if being truthful was hidden in those words of metaphor and tongues of deceit. Three words of bliss lay somewhere in those words but can never be heard by the ear but by the heart. If Kiku was to compare someone with himself, it would be with the Jokers. He may not be able to control fate even if someone desired or gave him permission but…. Indirectly, he can weave fate to his advantage—like, right now…
He could take Ludwig's words as a mere slip of the tongue—even if his mind believed it and even if his heart was swayed.
"I understand… " Ludwig began as he let out a soft sigh. "I apologize for making you uncomfortable then, Queen Kiku. I was just being truthful with you. After all, you might already tire of lies coming from those closest to you. Only tell me never to say these words and never will I dare say such taboo ever again in your presence or otherwise…"
Kiku bit his lower lip, his gaze casted on the chrysanthemums upon his hand. A flower that meant utter truthfulness is something that seemed so far away from him. "Did I say that it was your words which were exactly taboo?"
Ludwig drew to a stop, eyes locked upon his back as he was filled with confusion. "Did you not say-"
"It is our affections which are taboo—Not your words!" Kiku said as he clutched unto the stems of the chrysanthemum, like it was where his energy was coming from. "Ludwig…. Loving me is taboo. Loving you back is taboo. Everything in this situation is taboo yet I allowed it to be so. "
It was the first time Ludwig had seen that Kiku acted this way and he wished nothing more but to silence him with a firm embrace… but both of them knew it was something not meant to be.
"Then, by right… Will you please be truthful towards me. A simple "Yes" or "No" is what I seek to the questions that bore such confusion within me- "Ludwig let out as he even dared to step closer to the Queen who had his back turned on him. Everything was locked on those small shoulders that weigh the world of Hearts. "Will you allow such questions to be asked, Queen?"
Kiku wiped his tears away and looked at him with a firm stand, the flowers he held rather protectively in his arms. Why… Of all the things to ask, why was the hardest question for it only is intended to draw out the truth.
"Is the Queen of Spades someone you hold dear?"
"Yes. "
"Do you worry more of Spades than of Hearts…?"
"No."
"Do you regret being the Queen of Hearts?"
"Yes."
"Last question…"
"Proceed."
There was silence once more as if it was there to ease their hearts. Why did Kiku allowed himself to be asked in such a way that he was not victorious. A conversation of importance with not even someone to bear witness but themselves: a confession. Only Ludwig was able to pry him open with these facts and he even did it with his permission. 'What have you done to me?' He asked him in his mind while looking at the King before him. A King of hearts….No, he was the man he loves.
To Ludwig it was more than a privilege to have the Queen truthful when he, himself, had said that he was a liar. "Do you love the person whom stands before you now, even if it was taboo?"
Kiku literally twitched upon hearing that but smiled ever so warmly, "Yes..." He answered.
"Then… That's more than enough." Ludwig replied and closed his eyes. Yes, it was more than enough to know and not feel. It was enough to have him say it than never heard of. It was better to have asked than merely assume. It was better to be by his side than just watch him from a far. Kiku knew that as much as he did. They were not waiting… They were not assuming… They knew and left it untold further. It was not because of their duties or their lives bound to others… It was because they understood that their feelings cannot just involve the both of them. It was because they loved each other so much that they have to let go now…or else.
"I say this now… as the King of Hearts to my Queen, whom I lawfully serve with all my life… whom I shall never betray amidst anything… Your will shall be mine."
Kiku continued to smile and took out the purple iris and gave it to Ludwig instead. "King of Hearts, may both of us have a good life."
That flower meant complete loyalty… He was giving him back his loyalty? Or was it that he was accepting his loyalty and, in a form of action, he was delivering a response? You are my blessing. That's it.
Instead of holding each other's hands… they chose to stand individually with the understanding that one day... in another time… in another place… they would be able to hold each other's hands with nothing more but affection.
.
.
.
.
.
Meanwhile...
"All dreams end when the dreamer wakes…. "The Joker clad in red said as he removed his mask and continue to watch the King and Queen of Hearts in his place of darkness with a crystal ball at hand. A light giggle followed those words before the little red joker looked at his partner.
There stood beside him the Black Joker with watchful eyes on the magic ball where a couple clad in green dwelled in the arms of one another. "Let's just hope everyone wakes up from their dreams…." He whispered and looked at the wisteria flower upon his hand.
"The hand of time quivers and draws to a halt… Gilbert, it's too late for those jerks to wake up now…"
"I know… but somehow I pray for it to move…"
To be continued…