Jax stared at me with his beautiful blue eyes, my carry-on duffel bag was hanging from his shoulder. I bit my lip and stared at my hands that were flat on his chest. I could feel his slow, steady heartbeat through his thin t-shirt. I met his gaze again, biting back tears.
"I can come," He said, tilting his head forward.
My heart screamed, 'Yes! Come!' But my head reminded me of Gemma's visit and the way her hand crushed my trachea. I shuddered at the memory. My thoughts also reminded me how if Jax came with me it was going to tear him away from his family, from the club he grew up in. I shook my head. "No, you can't."
Jax leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. "I'll come visit," He promised, mumbling the words against my mouth.
I smiled, unsure if Gemma would allow that. "You better, Teller," I joked half-heartedly. I pulled away, but still keeping our bodies pressed together.
Jax laughed for a moment, then shook his head. "This is crazy," He whispered, cupping my face with one hand. He gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I'm going to miss you."
I nodded weakly. "Me too."
"I love you, Tara. I've loved you since the day I met you," He leaned down and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger against my skin.
My eyes closed and in that moment, I felt my heart slowly leaving my body, because since I was sixteen my heart hadn't been my own, it belonged to Jax and now I was leaving it with him in Charming, while I ran off to become a doctor. "I love you, too, Jax. More than anything."
"Flight 1502 now boarding," A robotic voice said over the intercom.
The lump rose in my throat again and I tightened my grip on Jax. Why did I think I was strong enough to do this? I leaned up and kissed him again, with passion, forgetting that we were standing in the middle of a public place, surrounded by spectators.
Jax pulled away and pushed my hair back from my face. "Take care of yourself and call me if you need anything."
"I'll call you when I land," I promised and leaned up to kiss him one last time.
The pain in my chest threatened to knock my knees out from under me, to stop the air from entering my lungs. I let a tear roll down my cheek, to tired to hold it in. Jax swiped it away with his thumb, then slid my bag over his shoulder and handed it to me.
I turned on my heel and walked away, letting the tears come faster now, not bothering to wipe them away. My heart ached and my throat burned from holding back tears for so long. I handed an eager flight attendant my ticket and turned back to find Jax still in the same spot I'd left him, staring at me, like this was the last time he'd see me. I offered him a half-hearted wave, then made my way toward the entrance to the plane.
I held back nothing when I got to my seat. I let the sobs rock through my body and the tears roll, uninterrupted down my face. The little elderly lady next to me was petite with a shock of wild white hair. She looked terrified as my body twitched and I sniffled noisily. She offered me a tissue more than once, but I kindly refused. I could only focus on Jax, trying desperately to recreate his touch, to imagine his lips on mine, but all I could see was the broken expression on his face as I boarded the plane. Which only made me sob harder, because I was the cause of his pain.
I know you all hate me, because Tara is leaving without Jax. I'm sorry! I have most of this fic written out and this is just the way I planned it! I hope you'll still read it, because I think you'll really enjoy the next two chapters! I know I keep saying that, but something good is going to happen! Promise! Leave reviews and let me know what you think!