Chapter 10- Confessions

"Ok, how much are you going to practice that song? Seriously, you've sung it at least 50 times by now. You need a break," Meg said, marching into the room of the Kodak Theatre Christine was using to practice in.

Christine just wasn't in the mood to stop. "I'll practice until I think it's good enough to get me through. Let's face it Meg, I'm lucky to still be here. I should've been kicked off last week." Just the thought of it made her want to get back to practicing.

"We've been through this Christine. You still sang beautifully. You put everything you had into that performance. One mistake is sometimes a good thing. It makes viewers realize that you are a 19 year old girl who isn't always going to get everything right."

"I guess they might have pitied me," she reflected.

Meg sighed, frustrated. "Nobody pities you. You're so talented, they envy you."

"They can't envy that performance." Christine shook her head. "Anyway, I'll be done soon." That was a lie. "I'll find you later." That too was probably as lie, as her friend would probably be in bed asleep by the time she was finished practicing.

Sighing again, Meg left the room. She wasn't about to practice her routine anymore. Too much practice could be a negative thing…

Erik entered the Kodak Theatre looking as inconspicuous as he possibly could. He had a full-faced black mask on and a hooded jacket covering his upper body and head.

Perhaps he looked like a burglar, but oh well.

He just had to know if Christine was practicing. Something told him she was probably practicing a lot and that she'd most likely chosen a room in this building. Other contestants practiced here. It only made sense that she would do the same.

It was nearing 11:00 pm, which was rather late, but still he had a feeling she would be here. She was a dedicated performer. It showed that she practiced constantly.

He slid around a corner rather glad that the hallways were fairly dark. There were a line of rooms down the hall that could be considered dressing rooms. For Pulse, however, they served as practice rooms.

Everything was very quiet as he walked, and he was sad and disappointed to realize she wasn't here.

But then, the most radiant sound filled his ears. It was her, and she sounded amazing. Erik slowed to a stop when he was in front of her practice room.

Then, he stood still while thinking. I'd planned on simply knocking on the door and greeting her when she opened it, but would that be wise? It would look as though I am stalking her. He knew that was exactly the case, but for her to know could present problems.

And what if she didn't want visitors? What if what Nadir had said was true, that she thought of him as an acquaintance and nothing more?

Erik sighed. Such conflict. He knew what he wanted, but he also wanted to do what was best for her. He wouldn't know what was best for her if he didn't find out for himself, though.

It was decided.

He lowered the hood from his head and determinedly reached out to knock on her door. At the last second, his hand hesitated slightly, but finally he went for it.

Christine was surprised by the knock, but she fully expected it to be Meg. I'm almost done, she thought, prepared to tell her that when she opened the door.

"Meg-," she began, but her words came to a halt when she saw who it really was. It was Erik! True, the full-faced mask should have made her question his identity at first, but that wasn't the case. Christine immediately knew who it was based on the air he gave off. "Erik," she squeaked in shock.

Erik found himself becoming nervous and feeling that he shouldn't have done things the way he did. But, he couldn't show it. That would show a complete lack of control. "Hello," he began. "I'm sorry to startle you."

Her eyes must have been huge, but Christine couldn't help it. This appearance was totally out of the blue. I must look terrible after all this practicing.. He was the most famous judge on the planet, and she was a tired, sweaty mess. "I- it's ok," she stuttered. She didn't know what to say after that.

"I heard you practicing, so I thought I would stop by."

Oh. Well, that makes sense… kind of. It's almost 11:00 pm, though. What on earth could he be doing here at this hour? And in that mask? It was all a little strange. "Yeah, I was just finishing up."

"You are here rather late," Erik observed.

So are you, Christine thought. "I wanted to practice as much as possible for tomorrow."

Erik nodded. "You're truly dedicated. But, you do need rest."

She blushed. "I was just about to leave, actually."

This was his chance. "Do you mind if I walk you back to the hotel? It's late. I'd prefer it if you didn't walk alone."

Christine smiled at that. He's a true gentleman. "Sure, that's be nice." I can't believe 'he's' going to walk me back. Thoughts like that couldn't help but emerge. She quickly gathered her things and joined Erik in the hallway.

Erik began putting the hood back on his head as they neared the exit. "Do you mind?" he asked politely.

"No, not at all," she relied a little awkwardly.

"It minimizes others' attention, as you can guess. One never knows when paparazzi are lurking." They stepped out into the fresh night air. "How long have you practiced today?"

She thought about it and realized she'd actually spent the whole day in that practice room. "Um, I'd say… about 14 hours. I didn't sing for all that time, of course, but I studied my music when I wasn't singing."

Erik's eyes widened. It was longer than he'd even expected. He hoped she hadn't over-practiced. "I believe that's the longest any contestant has practiced so far."

"I don't know, there's some really hard-working competitors this year."

"Well, none of them compare to you," he said without thinking. He instantly wished he hadn't been so forward. Glancing at her, he noticed that she was smiling, so maybe it was ok. Actually, he felt he knew why she was practicing so much. "You're still lingering on last week's performance." It wasn't a question.

Christine's smile faded. "Yeah… I mean, I'm lucky to still be here. Lack week was a nightmare."

Erik thought about how to phrase what he wanted to say next. "It's not about luck, Christine. I've been judging long enough to know that at this stage in the competition the true stars are revealed and the others are let go."

He sighed feeling that she wasn't believing him. "I understand that last week must have felt like a nightmare to you, but try not to think that the viewers feel the same. We don't." It was time to really be direct. "In all honesty, I am probably the most judgmental person you will ever meet. My reputation is not a lie in that respect. I'm brutally honest, too. So, believe me when I say this. No one compares to you. Quite frankly, the competition is a bit laughable. Aside from you. You are the most talented person here. And the fact that you obviously don't know it or think so is very odd.. but appealing." In a soft voice he added, "You can and probably will win."

Christine gasped. "You really think so? I- I don't know. If tomorrow doesn't go well, I think I'll get kicked off. What you said is really nice, but the thing about it is, it's up to viewers now. And the viewers probably think Meg's the best."

"But, she's not." Erik smiled behind the mask. "I don't think I will ever be able to convince you of the talent you possess, but I will not ever stop trying." They'd made it to the hotel. At this point, Erik felt the need to be completely honest. He didn't want to hide what he was feeling any longer. He had to hide enough of himself as it was. With Christine, he wanted to do things right. What he was about to do felt right. "I didn't just happen to be at the Theatre and stumble upon your practice room tonight, Christine."

She blinked up at him as they stopped walking. "You didn't?"

He gazed into her innocent eyes. "No. I wanted to see you. I was there intentionally." He paused. "You see, I've… changed. There's no better way to say it. This season, everything is different. I do not feel as empty and cold-hearted as I know I once was. It's because of you," he explained. "You've changed me. I didn't know it was possible. I- I've never felt this way before. Every time I see you, it's as if the sun has risen. The moment you stepped onto the Fox Theater stage in Atlanta, I was captivated. You continue to captivate me. I care for you very deeply, Christine."

She looked to be stunned, frozen, and perhaps dizzy from the new information. "I do not expect you to feel what I feel," Erik said quickly. "You probably think we are nothing more than acquaintances, and if that is the way you want it to stay, I understand completely. I know this is sudden. If you wish, we can pretend I never said anything."

Everything was happening so quickly that Christine had to hold up a hand to stop it. He immediately stopped speaking and she slowly lowered her hand. What is going on? H- he… "You.. like me?" It seemed unfathomable. It seemed like some sort of weird joke. It just seemed like a dream.

He let out the breath he seemed to have been holding. Yes. Very much."

"But…" Christine's eyes drifted. "But, you're you. You're Erik Destler. I'm just an unknown contestant-"

"You won't be unknown forever," Erik cut in.

She still couldn't look at him, although she felt him looking at her. "Even if that's the case, I'm just a college student trying to suppose my sick father right now… I'm no different or better than anyone else. I'm sorry, but I don't understand this at all." It was as simple as that.

Erik had to somehow make her understand. She meant so much, yet she was completely unaware. She was different. She was better. "Do you remember our first private encounter. It had been a surprise to both of us. Your surprise wasn't the same as others' surprise always is upon seeing me, though. Whereas others look at Madame Giry and Nadir Kahn with envy, as if they hope to be them someday, they look at me with fear and nervousness. They always seem afraid that I might lose all control and attack them. Of course, it is all based on appearance."

He was now getting very personal. His discomfort was immense, almost overwhelmingly so. He had to continue or his confession would be all for nothing. "If I looked like everyone else, they would envy me, too, even with my bad reputation. As it is, all I see is fear and disgust in their eyes. You were different. Your eyes didn't make me want to turn away or react with hostility. I could see that you were looking past my appearance. And what's more, you treated me like a person, not some sort of monster."

It was almost all out in the open now. If only she would stop looking so shocked. "You truly have no idea or just how special you are… Each conversation we've had has shown me what it's like to feel accepted. You make me feel like what I really am: a man with a heart. When I'm judging your performances, I feel that you are the only contestant who understand and really listens to what I am saying. It's refreshing and it makes me realize that you are much more than a competitor to me. You're the answer to a lifetime of wishes."

Christine could feel something happening inside her. Yes, part of that 'something' was feeling special, it was always that, but there was more to it… "We haven't talked privately much at all. I told Mr. Kahn specifically that I would never talk to you privately again." Finally she looked at him, and looking into his eyes, that was all she needed. The 'something' that was happening inside her was more of a realization than anything else. "I can't keep that promise, though. I don't want to." Christine shook her head and blushed. "I like you too much for that."

She laughed a little. "Maybe we haven't talked privately much, but as you said, each time has been so special. You're right, I don't see you how you say other people see you. You're a person with real feelings and emotions. You are so much more than a judge with a reputation of being harsh." Christine let out an exasperated sigh. "I- I don't know how to say this. You put everything so well, I'm kind of at a loss for words-"

Erik took the opportunity to pull her into a hug. He'd wanted to for so long now. He wrapped one arm around her while stroking her beautiful curly hair with the other. "You've said everything I have ever wanted to hear," he whispered, resting his chin on top of her head lightly. "I never thought…" He sighed and let his eyes close. "I never thought you would return my feelings." Although, you can never feel the depth of what I feel for you…

"I never thought you would like me," Christine said softly, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"How could I not? You are exquisite."

"You're wonderful," she breathed.

A little while later, Erik acknowledged while still holding her against him," This has all happened rather quickly."

Christine's lips curled upward. "I know. But, these things do happen."

"Yes," Erik agreed with a small smile. They ended their hug and held each other's hand instead. "I have now openly admitted to having feelings for a contestant," he chuckled.

That's when Christine eyes widened. Reality struck. "Erik, we have to be careful. If anyone were to find out.." She shuddered at the thought.

"Yes, I have already considered it. We have to keep this hidden until the season ends."

"That might be hard." Her face contorted into a pout. "I want to be able to see you."

He laughed thinking she was adorable. "Don't worry, angel, we will still be able to see each other. As long as I look as inconspicuous as possible, no one will ever know. We can see each other exactly like this."

"You're sure?' Christine wasn't as confident about it as he seemed to be.

"I'm sure." He looked into her eyes seriously and then hugged her again. "This has been the most glorious night of my life, but I'm afraid I am preventing you from getting proper rest."

She didn't want to leave, but perhaps he was right. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She was already nervous, but the new discovery of their feelings for one another was bringing about a new sort of confidence she wasn't used to.

"And you will be magnificent," Erik said without a hint of doubt. They hugged again. "Christine?"

"Hmm?" she question against his chest.

"Can you be in a practice room tomorrow night at 11?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded.

They parted after a finally squeeze and smiled at each other adoringly before leaving one another for the night.

Their thoughts were of each other.

Everything was perfect.

"Perfect," a male reporter wearing very discreet clothing whispered from behind a thick layer of bushes once the targets of his spying were gone. He turned off and packed up his video camera and regular camera before walking with a kick in his step towards his vehicle.

Who knew tonight would be his big break? Being new to the world of celebrity reporting, his assignments were seemingly impossible.

Well, the impossible was possible. This story would be huge. 'Erik Destler Secretly Dating Female Pulse Contestant'. Not so secret anymore, he thought with a smirk.

Not only did he have pictures, but he had video with sound. Erik Destler's voice could be heard clearly and so could the girl's.

I'll be getting one hell of a raise. His eyes were triumphant. First thing in the morning, the boss will be planning a party in 'my' honor.

He sped off towards the office to prepare his big story.

Well, for some reason I felt like putting everything out in the open in this chapter. I hope it proved to be enjoyable.

Thank you so, so much for the reviews! I really do appreciate each one I receive.

Please review!

-Lauren