Chapter 10: Retail Therapy
"Needs more alcohol." – Roronoa Zoro

"YEEESSSS! ANOTHER ISLAND!" Luffy shouted from atop Sunny's head, flailing his arms so enthusiastically that he very nearly lost his footing and fell into the water below. "SHISHISHI! I smell adventure!" He proclaimed with a wide grin.

"I smell LUFFY," Usopp remarked from nearby, grimacing for effect as he waved the air in front of him. "You haven't bathed in a week!"
"Huh?! Chopper didn't take a bath either," Luffy stated simply as he stuck a finger up his nose in disinterest.

"Oi, Mugiwara-ya." Law looked up from under his hat from where he was leaning against the mast, displeased that they were stopping at all. "I don't want to stay here long. We've got to get to our final destination as soon as possible."

"Lighten up, Trafal-guy!" Sanji slapped the former Shichibukai on the shoulder playfully. The action earned him a chilly glare that he didn't seem to notice, being wrapped up as he was in thoughts of the date he had that night with Jess…ah, how lucky! His thoughts settled upon the curly-haired woman and his eyes morphed into pink hearts when he glanced over in her direction. "Date…I have a date…mellorine!" He crooned, swaying back and forth as the surgeon frowned and took several deliberate steps away from him.

"So then," Nami said, grabbing their attention, "if we're going somewhere new, someone should volunteer to babysit Zoro..."

Upon hearing his name, the green-haired man—who'd been napping just moments before—suddenly popped into the conversation with a loud, "OI!"

Kade rubbed her sore shoulder as she surveyed the situation, and couldn't help but wonder what their presence might be doing to the story. In the manga, the Strawhats hadn't stopped at any other islands on the way to Dressrosa. They had gone after Doflamingo straight away, no distractions... What was going on here? Were she and Jess already altering the order of the events? And if so, then to what extent? Should they be worried about this?

Jess, on the other hand, was currently not concerned with that shit. Ever the fangirl (and excellent wing-woman, or so she believed), she sidled up to Law and gave him a cheeky grin. "So you got any plans, Law-kun?"

He frowned, not even looking down at her. "Don't call me that."

"Anyway," Usopp was saying after Zoro had calmed down, "I have a lot of supplies to stock up on. Especially if we're going to fight!"

"ME TOO!" Piped up Franky, "I just ran out of cola five minutes ago, SUUUUUPER sad day!" the Cyborg did look a bit lackluster and the current ridiculous hairdo he was sporting was drooping at the ends.

"Yeah, I'm totally out of tabasco sauce," Usopp added.

"Good, take Zoro with you," Nami said, giving the sniper a sidelong glance.

He immediately made a face. "What? Why me?!"

"I don't need a babysitter," the green-haired swordsman announced as he walked over to Usopp. "Maybe I'm going with Usopp because I want to, right?" He slung his bulging, muscular arm around the sniper and squeezed.

"OW!" Usopp squeaked. "Fine, I guess you can come. Whatever helps you sleep at all hours of the day." He rubbed his shoulder in protest. Usopp may have gotten a lot stronger than he used to be, but he sure as hell wasn't at Zoro's beastly level.

Nami counted out a sack of beli to Sanji to use for food supplies. "I'm going to expect my change back you know!" She gave him a stern look, knowing that if he brought Jess with him he would undoubtedly want to spoil her by buying her whatever the fuck she wanted. Honestly! Someone should be babysitting Sanji instead of Zoro.

Sanji beamed back at her as he accepted the sack. "Ah, of course, Nami-swan! I won't spend any more of your hard-earned money than absolutely necessary!"

"Good!" The orange-haired woman then approached the Kade and Jess, giving them a little bit of money each. "I know our clothes don't fit you very well, I thought maybe you could pick out a few things, I have more clothes than I know what to do with so I don't really need to go shopping at this port." But even as she said it, she got stars in her eyes thinking about picking out a few new styles that were perhaps only available at this very port and nowhere else!

Jess was touched by the gesture, given how Nami had been so wary of her thus far, and impulsively hugged the navigator. "Nami!"

Nami patted Jess's back awkwardly in return. "It's fine, it's fine..."

"Thank you," Jess said as she pulled back. Maybe Nami was finally warming up to her!

"Oh, wow, ah...thank you…" Kade felt somewhat awkward as she accepted the gift as well. She never really knew what to do when people gave her money. "I'll see what I can find. I'm sure you guys are sick of us wearing your clothes. I'll definitely pay you back, though!"

With a wave of his hand Usopp said, "Don't bother, she stole that money in the first place."

"USOPP!" Nami protested, even though he was absolutely fucking right.

"TRAFAL-GUY, TRAFAL-GUY!" Luffy's voice rang out over the deck. "Come hang out with us! Shishishi!"

"No."

Jess, ever-persistent, went back over to Law to try and coax him out as well. After all, she was trying to give her homie the hook-up. "No, no, you should come with us!"

Law gripped his sword more tightly. "I wasn't planning on going to that island. I revoked my Shichibukai title, remember? What if someone or the marines were to see me? Why do you care so much if I go?" His grump face was in full force.

"I thought you might want to relax a little bit, I mean you look so tense all the time..." Jess smiled innocently and turned her head to wink at Kade, who came extremely close to face-palming.

"JESS-SWAAAAAN!" Sanji flailed up to her. "Why are you over there with Trafal-guy? We're getting ready to go. Don't you want to come shopping with me? I'll buy you whatever you want!"

"SANJIIIIIIIIIII!" Jess answered in her fangirlish fashion, "Of course I want to come shopping with you!" She immediately latched herself onto his arm.

"HEY!" Nami yelled over her shoulder. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE USE OF MY MONEY, SANJI-KUN!"

Law snorted. "Well, that escalated quickly."

Kade rolled her eyes. "So much for subtlety." She watched on for a moment as Jess and Sanji made absolutely disgusting mushy faces at each other, and then glanced down at the money in her hand. She thought maybe she could buy some workout clothes as well, since she was planning on becoming a badass who could hold her own in a fight and all.

She looked back at Law, who was standing just behind the group, his nodachi resting against his shoulder. "You want anything from in town? I can pick up something on the way back."

Law stared back at her for a moment before he shook his head. "No."

Kade nodded. "Okay."

Nearby, Sanji was enthusiastically assuring Nami that he would not spend all of her money on flowers and candy and pretty clothes for Jess, and yes, he was well aware of the budget they had to stick to for groceries, and of course he would never let any of them go hungry.

"Maybe you could help me pick out some new clothes?" Jess suggested, still clinging happily to the cook's arm. "Something for our date…?"

This suggestion instantly sent the blond into full-blown fantasy mode. Tiny hearts inexplicably came popping up all around him as he giggled and blushed. "I…I would be more than happy to help!" He began to picture various sexy outfits in his mind. "Ahh…something like…or maybe…mellorine!"

"Ehehe…nothing too revealing," Jess said as her own cheeks flushed pink.

Nami turned away from them and grimaced. "Ugh, they're so annoying! Usopp, I'm going with you and Zoro."

"I'm going with you, too," Kade piped up as she joined the three of them. "Honestly, I love her but I just can't listen to that back and forth nonsense all damn day."

Nami gave her a nod. "Okay, then. Err…where's Luffy?"

"He already left," Law said.

Annoyed, Nami threw up her hands. "GREAT, now I have to go do damage control!"

"He's always like that," Zoro said as he followed Nami and Usopp down the ladder. "Just leave him, he'll find his way back as usual."

Kade hung back for only a moment, casting what she hoped was a subtle look back toward Law and wishing she had a reason to ask him to come along with them. But alas, she was too fucking awkward to manage that, so instead she jogged to the rope ladder and swung her legs over the side of the ship, catching one last look at the two lovebirds before they disappeared from her sight.

Sanji had managed to stop making eyes with Jess long enough to sling his empty pack over his shoulder. "Well, Jess-swan, are you ready for our wonderful day together to begin?" He smiled foolishly at her.

"Yes, I'm ready sw-Sanji!" she agreed, having bitten her tongue so that she wouldn't call him an entirely too familiar term of endearment. Then she cleared her throat, thinking a compliment would be okay.

"Sanji...you look really handsome today..." She blushed, clutching a bit tighter to his arm.

"Ahh you're too kind! I wore this suit today especially for YOU!" Sanji crooned in response to Jess's compliment. "But you're the one who looks stunning. Compared to you, I'm the dullest star in the sky!"

"Lies!" Jess grinned up at him. "You have no idea how attractive you are, do you?" She slid her hand down until her fingers became interlaced with his. "Everyone in town is going to be so jealous of me, being seen with the most handsome man on the Grand Line!" Her eyes fairly pulsated with hearts and she realize how much of an idiot she must sound like, but at this moment she didn't care. She'd dreamed about being with Sanji for so many years now and she was going to enjoy it!

"You lovely woman, you flatter me so! How is it I became so lucky, having an earthbound angel by my side?" The cook swooned.

Without hesitation Jess answered, "I'm the lucky one."

oOo

Further inland, several hours later, Kade was still out shopping with Nami. After having found several boutiques boasting massive discounts, the navigator had assigned Usopp and Zoro to the task of tracking down their Captain so she could spend more time rifling through sale racks and trying on flimsy, ill-fitting tops.

Every now and then, Nami would hold up one of her findings and glance from the article to Kade, either nodding her approval or shaking her head. The approved garments were then tossed Kade's way, along with comments like, "This one will look so cute!" or "This is definitely your color!" In fact, the pile of clothing Nami had picked out for Kade to try on was nearly rivaling the pile that Nami had gathered for herself.

It was actually getting a little out of hand.

Presently, Kade was staring down at the rather revealing shirt that Nami had just tossed her. Normally she didn't wear such things, being a human being with a shred of modesty and all. But, hell, it was pretty damn hot out on the open seas, and pirates sure as fuck didn't judge.

So she shrugged and said, "Sure! Why the hell not." She added it to the pile in her arms, then gestured to Nami's pile of things that she'd already tried on. "Are you really getting all of that?"

Nami grinned happily. "Yep! I know I said I wouldn't, but there are so many cute things here! Ooh I like this dress, too!" She exclaimed, grabbing the mini dress and several more bras from another rack.

"I'm surprised there's any space on Sunny for all this crap," Kade muttered as she continued to watch Nami singlehandedly buy out the entire store, idly wondering how Jess and Sanji were doing with the groceries.

oOo

In the food section, Sanji and Jess were procuring amenities for the Strawhat's pantry. Sanji stopped to buy some flowers from a nearby stand and handed them to Jess.

"I would give them to you before our date, but since you're here right now, please enjoy them!"

She blushed and accepted them, leaning in to smell their aroma. "Thank you, they're lovely. Ah...do you need help carrying those provisions? I think we're going to have to make a few trips...you know...for Luffy." She gestured to the obscenely heavy looking bags Sanji had with him.

The chef hefted them both of his shoulder with ease. "No need to worry Jess-swan! That's so sweet of you to offer, but I would never make a lady carry such heaven burdens!"

Jess chuckled. "Well, I DO lift, bro. Maybe not as much as the marimo, but you know..." She looped his arm through his as she glanced at the large sacks. "Man, I knew you were strong, but seeing it in person is so...awesome..." She flushed bright red, wondering if it had been better to keep her mouth shut instead.

But luckily for Jess, Sanji was an idiot and didn't notice that she'd almost let something slip. Instead, his entire face lit up as she complimented him and he cooed back, "Awwww! You're so sweet!" He clasped his hands, a ridiculous look on his flushed face as he swayed back and forth beside her. "I can't believe I'm so lucky that I get to date you tonight! Ah, is it truly real?"

"PFFFFF you retard! What do you mean YOU'RE lucky? I told you, I'm the lucky one. I never thought I'd ever get to be with you...though I really wanted to..." She paused momentarily, coughing and blushing.

"I can't seem to stop running my mouth..." She thought that Kade would probably kill her if Sanji weren't such a moron. "...and you know, it's kind've like we're on a date ALL DAY. Do none of the other guys ever help you shop? It's so much fun I don't know why they wouldn't."

Sanji's visible eye grew wider as hearts started popping up all around him. "YOU'RE RIGHT! We have practically been on a date all day! I've been having the most wonderful time with you, Jess-swan! Though I still would love for us to go out for a romantic dinner tonight...a stroll beneath the moonlit streets..." He trailed off, nearly becoming lost in his perfect date fantasies, but then snapped back to reality once his brain had managed to process her last question.

"The guys? No, no, I don't really want any of them helping. I always end up with more than I set out to buy. Marimo likes sneaking in alcohol and Usopp will try to act like we're always out of tabasco sauce."

"Hah, I don't blame you. And concerning our date, well, I'd like to do all the things you just mentioned, but I can't imagine any restaurant having better food than what you'd cook. I've enjoyed everything you cooked this week after you got better." She flushed momentarily remembering just why he'd been ill in the first place. "You deserve a night off, so we should do all that stuff! I do still need to get a few outfits, though. Robin's clothes are nice, but they don't exactly fit...up here..." She pulled out the extra lose material from the chest area, blushing slightly.

Sanji's eyes followed the motion of Jess's hand, a deep flush blooming in his cheeks when he realized exactly where he was staring. He forced himself to look away, a small tickle of blood escaping from one nostril.

"O-of course!" He stammered, struggling to regain his composure. "In fact, I think I just saw a shop over th—" As he was pointing in the direction of the last clothing boutique he'd seen, he caught sight of Nami and Kade emerging from its doors. "Oh! Nami-san! Kade-chan!"

Nami, who had about a million bags hanging off her arms, looked up when she heard Sanji call out her name. "Sanji-kun! Good, you can carry all these bags for us!" She thrust them all at him the moment she caught up to him. "Did you get everything on the list?"

Sanji accepted all the bags without complaint, nodding back at her. "I certainly did, and you'll be happy to know that I got the shopping done much more quickly with Jess-swan by my side! She's invaluable when it comes to finding a good deal!" He said, exchanging gross looks with Jess.

"Did you guys want to shop here?" Kade asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Sorry, but I think Nami just bought everything in stock."

Nami laughed at that, swatting her playfully with one of her nine new handbags. "I did not! I left a few things. A few ugly things," she admitted in a smaller voice.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, there's another store down the street a bit. It has plenty of nice things that people might wear on fancy dates and events, so you can check that out if you were listening to a word I said, JESSICA." Kade snapped her finger's in her best friend's face.

Jess blinked, coming back to reality. "Huh? Damn, you never call me that. What happened?"

Kade rolled her eyes. "Nevermind. What are you guys up to?"

"Unfortunately not making out," Jess said with a wistful sigh, twisting one of her curls around her finger as she blatantly ogled Sanji. "I mean, uh, you know…just grocery shopping and stuff. As you can imagine, Luffy's grocery bill was fucking enormous. But look, Sanji got me these!" She withdrew the bouquet of flowers that Sanji had gifted her with earlier, stars in her eyes as she showed them to Kade.

"Aww. That was nice of him! Hey, so Nami and I were about to head back to the ship. Have you seen Zoro or Luffy around?"

Jess shook her head. "I haven't seen anything but this gorgeous man beside me," she said, the stars in her eyes growing larger and shinier, and she looked as if she was about to float right off the ground at any moment. "I'm sure if Luffy was nearby, you'd be able to hear him."

Kade snorted. "Man, you really are hopeless! It's a good thing Sanji's an idiot, otherwise you would be in trouble."

"Wh-what?" Jess immediately averted her eyes, her cheeks flushing bright red. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Nami hadn't missed the stare that Jess was giving Sanji, noting that she looked at him the same way that Sanji himself looked at women. She rolled her eyes, watching for a moment while the two girls conversed among one another, then went back to questioning Sanji about where he might have seen Luffy during the past several hours.

"He is an idiot…but a really mellorine one," Jess was saying. She leaned in a little closer to whisper, "So, you gonna ask Law on a date later?" She winked and gave Kade a suggestive nudge.

Kade shook her head. "No, jeez. He's Law, he doesn't do dates. At least I don't think he does…"

"Okay, then just ask him to 'hang out' like a bro or something, then you can ninja-date him!"

"I was just going to hang out on the ship," Kade said. "And like, maybe we'd both happen to be in the same room. And also maybe some words would be exchanged, hopefully of the pleasant variety. I don't know, it's not a fully-formed plan or anything but I was sort of hoping to seduce him with my awkwardness."

Jess shook her head. "No, just like, sidle up to him and be all, 'yo Law, we should bro it up'."

Kade snorted. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," she said, as if her plan was any more likely to succeed.

"I don't even know what I'm saying right now," Jess said, giggling as she stared at Sanji's ass.

"Anyway," Kade said as she shook her head, noticing that Nami was standing there waiting for her with her arms crossed, "we're heading back now. Hope you find something good to wear on your date."

"Me too, I don't have the boobs to fit in Robin's clothes...ehehe."

While the girls continued talking, Nami slipped Sanji some extra money and decided to voice the concerns she had about his new infatuation. "Look, you probably shouldn't get too serious about this girl. You've known her less than a week. What if she screws you over?"

Sanji was appalled, "What?! Jess-swan wouldn't ever do that! There's no need to be…" He trailed off just then, and his face suddenly changed as he thought of another possible meaning for Nami's warning. Of course! Why hadn't he seen it before? He gave her a gentle smile. "Ohhh, oh no! Nami-san, please don't be jealous!You know I'll always adore you! I promise you that nothing will change that!"

Nami rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant! I just don't want to see you get hurt again. For a smart man, you are annoyingly naive when it comes to women." She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ears.

"You don't have to worry about me, Nami-san! Although I am deeply touched by your concern. Jess-swan and I are going to have a wonderful night and nothing will go wrong!"

His tone was filled with his usual lovesickness, and Nami felt herself relenting. "If you come back to the ship half dead again, we're just going to leave your ass!" She poked him in the chest lightly. "Just be careful okay?" Nami turned to look at Jess and gave her the eye.

"SO HEY, guess what I bought?" Kade began, partially in an attempt to diffuse the tension she'd noticed popping up between the other two women. "Any guesses? You give up? Okay, check it out! It's a bow!" She reached into one of the bags that Sanji was now burdened with, producing a sleek, crimson-colored compound bow with dark-colored cables and pulleys. She proudly showed it off, posing with it and pulling back the string for effect.

Jess whistled. "That is SWEET! I don't know if I'm going to get a weapon or not yet, I'm not really sure what suits me."

Kade grinned as she lowered the bow, which was about half her own size. "You'll figure it out, homie! I bought some arrows today, too. Franky said he'd make me some more, since I have some ideas for modifications and junk."

"Great!" chimed in Nami, "I'm sure Usopp will be able to help you with that, too. He's really good at coming up with weapon modifications."

"Ooh, really? That would be amazing!"

"Sanji," Jess addressed the chef, "What kind of weapon do you think I should look for? Or maybe no weapon and I learn to fight hand to hand...hmm..."

"I think you would look great with any weapon you choose!" He smiled sappily, hearts floating from the top of his head.

Jess shoved him playfully. "You're no help! It's a good think you're so cute." She winked and giggled.

"AWWWW you're cuuuterrrrrrrrrr!" He crooned.

"BYE GUYS!" Kade yelled over her shoulder as she retreated with Nami, not wanting to stick around for another obnoxious display of PDA.

"BYE KADE!" Jess yelled back without looking away from Sanji.

Nami shook her head as the two of them headed back toward the docks. "Ugh, are you sure she's for real?'

"As real as the gag I barely held back."

"It's just weird you know? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it." Nami rubbed her forehead, hands now free from all her shopping bags.

Kade nodded. "Yeah, I know. That's totally understandable. But, well, you know...I can tell you she's admired Sanji from afar for such a long time, and now that she's met him, she can't help feeling, um...star-struck."

The navigator still looked skeptical. "You keep saying that, and somehow I feel like that's not the whole story. Look, I believe that she doesn't intend any harm, but I'm still keeping an eye on her. We can't afford to lose Sanji-kun."

Kade made a noise of agreement. "Fair enough." She chanced a look behind her, seeing Sanji swaying noodle-legged circles around a starry-eyed Jess, and hoped that they could manage to maintain some sort of cover for a little while longer.

'Ugh. Be careful, Jess…'