Batman: Armistice
Chapter Ten
The city noises seemed distant and muted as Harleen and Conner crept through the darkness, making their way up the rickety old fire-escape to the roof of a derelict apartment complex she had never seen before. For her part, Harleen was giddy with excitement. Tonight at midnight (or in the next fifteen minuets) she would be turning fifteen, and he had told her that he had something special planned for the evening. She wasn't sure what it was, but if he made a move then she was definitely giving up her v-card tonight. Actually, she was seriously hoping that would be the case, but she'd kept her trap shut about it. Whatever the surprise wound up being, she knew it would be fantastic; he never failed to put a smile on her face.
Conner... Her friend, her lover as of almost three years, but still not officially her boyfriend. At least, they hadn't announced anything but everyone already knew. Since that summer day so long ago they had been practically joined at the hip; and it hadn't taken long for Mikey to spread rumors all over town. Of course, no one knew all the details. She was fairly sure that her Dad would kill him if he knew that they'd passed third base at least fifty times already, each. Honestly, she was pretty sure she was addicted.
When they finally reached the top of the last flights, she gasped in amazement at the sight before her. Rather than the barren concrete roof she had expected, it looked like a field from the countryside: Tall, swaying grass, a small pond with what looked like lily-pads and even a small tree. She'd never seen anything quite like it here in the city, and especially not on a roof. This was no park; this was real, honest-to-god nature suspended fourteen stories in the air.
"What... What is this?" She whispered in awe.
"I think it used to be a a golf course or something. Then it was abandoned and just... Grew. I found it a couple weeks ago and had to show you." He said with that smile that made her heart melt every time she saw it. He didn't smile often, and he only smiled that way for her. She leaned in happily to reward her man with a big kiss, but was taken aback when he held her back. "Wait, there's more."
As he lean her by the hand towards the small field, she took a moment to admire his handsome silhouette against the gibbous moon. These past years they had swapped places, with him now towering over her as apposed to when they had first gotten together. This was fine though, as he could now hold her in his arms like a man should. And anyway, she had developed in other ways that more than compensated for the lack of height; specifically in longer hair, a bubbly butt and a pair of perky tits that she was especially proud of. Her guy really seemed to like them too, and she had invested in plenty of cute tops to show them off. Granted, there still wasn't a lot to show off; but at the rate she was filling in it wouldn't be long before she had some impressive cleavage to flaunt.
Her wandering mind was quickly pulled back down to earth by the intriguing sight that appeared before her. Out in the knee-high grass, she could have sworn that she saw a flicker of of light here and there among the blades. Could it really be what it seemed?
Harleen's question was answered almost in the same moment she had pondered it as they waded into the field. Scores of fire-flies took flight, filling the air with what looked a swirling galaxy of tiny ephemeral stars that winked in and out of existence second by second. In all her life, she had never seen anything so breathtakingly beautiful. And there, smiling back at her from the center of the storm, was the man she loved with every drop of blood in her veins; every breath of air in her lungs. Her world, her hero... Her Conner.
Without wasting another moment, she threw herself into his arms and locked her lips passionately to his. He tried to hold her up against him, but she was having none of it. She pulled him to the ground and straddled him, grinding her hips against his as she shucked her shirt off and tossed it aside, revealing the brand-new lacy bra that she had bought and worn just for him. She was absolutely, one-hundred percent sure that tonight was the night. Tonight she was going to lose her virginity to him, and once she had she wanted him to fuck her from then till dawn.
With a little help from his girl, Conner removed his shirt before pulling her against him and kissing her deeply, their tongues writhing in battle as she furiously dry-humped him. After a few minuets of kissing his lips began to roam, kissing her jaw, her neck and then nibbling lightly at her favorite spot between her neck and collarbone. She moaned loudly as a sort of mini-orgasm rippled through her body in response to his actions. It wasn't much, but she could still feel her muscles spasm and clench, forcing even more of her juices into her already sopping wet panties. She could hardly contain her excitement at the idea that they would soon be squeezing around his throbbing cock, forcing every last drop of his seed out of him and inter her willing body.
He paused for a moment when he reached her bra, apparently admiring it. It was the first time she had worn anything quite like it, and she was pleased to see that he was so enthralled.
"Like it?" She asked coyly, wiggling flirtatiously above him. She was shocked to hear how husky and mature her voice sounded right then. She didn't sound at all like a girl, but rather like a woman. All things considered, this was perfect.
"You look amazing..." He muttered. She grinned widely at his praise.
"My panties match ya know..." She told him as she dragged her clothed crotch along his as if to emphasis this. The she dove forward and began to suck and nibble on his earlobe, which she knew to be his weak spot. "And they're fuckin' soaked." She murmured between bites. Conner groaned with pleasure as he reached behind her and unclipped her bra, seemingly eager to discard the lovely garment in exchange for revealing the even fairer sight beneath.
Harleen's pale breasts sprang free, her hot pink nipples already erect from their erotic play. Conner eagerly leaned forward and took on of her tits in his mouth, sucking and gently biting her tiny bud as he massaged the other with his free hand. Then he did something he had never done before, bringing his knee between her legs and rubbing it against her as he stimulated her breasts. After a few brief minuets the combined stimulation was simply too much for her to bear, and she found herself lost to a storm of erotic bliss.
"Con- Oh God... Oh fuuuuucckk!" She screamed as she climaxed, her eyes rolling into her head as she spasmed feverishly against him. After a minuet or so she finally stopped twitching, though her breath was still coming out in ragged gasps. Her lover raised up slightly to kiss her, but rather than meeting him she moved downward, kissing and licking her way down his body as she tore at his jeans. She never got tired of his taste, relishing the taste of his sweaty skin on her tongue as she moved ever lower, seeking her favorite taste of all... The taste she was shamelessly addicted to, that she craved this very instant. It had been a whole three days since she had sucked him off last, and she couldn't wait to fill her mouth with the gigantic load he would have saved up for her. She might even have enough to let some out on her face. She hated to waste such a delicious snack, but she did love the sensation of his cum splattering all over her face. It made her feel so bad, so dirty, and she thoroughly enjoyed the thrill of doing something that she viewed as so incredibly slutty.
After yanking his pants and boxers off, she wasted not a moment in engulfing his erection in her mouth; going from nothing to fully deep-throating him in an instant. Now it was his turn to moan as her throat tightened around his shaft, making him arch his back and thrust his hips reflexively against her. In the past this would have made her gag; but after their many liaisons over the past several months she had gotten to the point where he could furiously face-fuck her without any problems at all. In fact, the rougher she was treated, the more she enjoyed it. She'd heard that some girls liked being choked while having sex, and she was pretty sure she was going to be one of them.
Harleen pulled him out of her mouth, then smiled wickedly up at her man as she licked him slowly from the base to the tip before swallowing half his cock and seizing the other half in her dainty hand. She began bobbing up and down at a dizzying pace, sucking and pumping on him as she did. He reached down and ran his fingers lovingly through her hair; writhing as he did beneath her pleasurable assault. Usually when she went to town like this he only lasted a couple minuets, and sure enough within that time-frame he was almost shouting her name as he shot burst after burst of his hot semen into her mouth. She gleefully caught it all on her tongue, then gazed up at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she opened her mouth to show off his work. There was so much that a little leaked out of her mouth and ran down her chin before she closed her mouth and swallowed every sticky drop. Not wanting to waste any, she scooped up the stray dribble and ate it too, sucking it off her finger in a way that clearly referenced their previous activity.
"Holy fuck I love the taste of yah cum!" She exclaimed as her man rose unsteadily to his feet. He responded with a shy chuckle and a deep blush that was so damn cute she wanted to jump up and kiss him, but she knew he didn't like kissing her right after a blowjob. That was fine by her, she was happy to watch him change like he always did from a ravenous animal to a shy schoolboy. Cute enough to melt the heart and hot enough to melt the pants. That was her Conner to a tee. "So, was that my surprise? Or was it the fireflies?"
"Uh, neither actually." He replied with a smile. She smiled back, but then shuddered as a gust of wind chilled her naked flesh. "Why don't we get dressed?" She nodded her assent to this suggestion, then suddenly swore shortly after pulling her pants back on. "What is it?" He asked.
"I... Might'a got a little carried away..." She admitted in an embarrassed tone. "I kinda... Wanted to go all the way tonight."
Conner's eyes widened. "R-really?" She nodded again, this time very decisively. She didn't have a doubt in her mind on that matter. "Well then, maybe we can a bit later." He said in a soft but clearly excited voice.
"And don't ya even dare think about pullin' out!" She warned him as she pulled her shirt over her head. "I'll squeeze ya with my legs 'till I saw ya in half if ya try!"
"Jesus!" He swore in mock horror, to which she merely cackled evilly. "Do you wanna get knocked up?"
"May-be!" She coquettishly retorted. The truth was that she mainly just wanted to feel him filling her up, but she did kind of want him to get her pregnant too. She knew it wasn't smart; but she was young and in love and frankly didn't give a shit. She wanted to have his babies and that's all there was to it.
He laughed before picking up his bag and and leading his date to the lone tree that graced the wild roof-top. "This isn't your present either..." He began as he opened the mystery sack. "But I thought it might be nice..." Out came two huge foil-wrapped pieces of what she could only assume from the shape and smell was pepperoni pizza and-
"Holy shizballs!" She hollered as he pulled a large bottle of reddish-brown liquid from the sack. "Firahball Whiskey?! Where did ya get that? You totally stole that from yah Dad, didn't ya?"
He shook his head. "Actually, from my sister."
"Ah..." she said, the light of understanding dawning in her eyes. "So even if she find out, she can't do nothin' cause she wasn't supposed to have it eithah... Clevah!"
"What can I say, you're a bad influence on me." He teased as he withdrew a couple of shot-glasses from the bottom of the bag.
"But ya love me right?" She wheedled, batting her eyes outrageously. He might actually be right, other than their first kiss she had instigated each new step in their sexual exploration; as well as getting him into drinking and stealing. She really wasn't the best influence, but it wasn't all bad. She saw how sad he looked without her; but around her he looked happy in a way that even his medication couldn't manage. And more than that, he seemed braver and more mature; able to speak more freely and take greater risks than he ever could alone. And that definitely had to be a good thing.
"Always." He replied softly, kissing her forehead.
"Mmmmm..." She murmured happily at his touch before stepping away and snatching up a glass. "So, undah-age sex, theft and drinking... Think the Batman will get us?" She jested.
"Naw, not in New York. Besides, I don't think he exists." Conner glibly rebutted her; and personally she had to agree with him on this. Her Daddy might believe in the Batman, but she was pretty sure she'd wind up seeing Bigfoot first.
"Me eithah! Now pour us some shots and let's get smashed!" Conner laughed at her antics, then dutifully filled their glasses. As she eyed the pungent liquid, a brilliantly sinister idea popped into her brain.
"So, ya know how people use mouthwash aftah eatn', right?" She asked.
"Uh, yeah..." He said in a bewildered voice before raising his shot to his lips. She watched carefully, waiting until he reached the point of no return. Then, she struck.
"So, did ya get me this as mouthwash for yah spunk or somethin'?" She grinned from ear to ear as she choked in shock at her unbelievably crass inquiry. After a moment of sputtering and hacking, she decided to have mercy on her poor lover and pounded him on the back until his coughing fit subsided.
"Y-you did t-that on purpose!" He accused her between gasps.
"Sure did!" She boasted. Then she prudently downed her shot before he figured out a way to get even with her. "Hmmm... Not bad. Tastes kinda like those atomic-fireball candies."
"Another?" She nodded enthusiastically, eager for more.
Several minuets, two shots and two slabs of pizza later, the young couple lay in each-others arms in the scant shade of the tree; a gesture that wasn't entirely pointless as the bright silver moonlight had cast some impressive shadows across the city. Harleen was fairly buzzed, but still not what she would call properly shitfaced. Still, they had opted for a quiet moment to pause and enjoy the night before continuing their quest for stomach-churning drunkenness, and she didn't mind that one bit. Truth be told, these were the moments that she cherished above all others: Laying quietly in the arms of her Love, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his arms about her and knowing that all was right in the world...
"Hey, Harleen?" Conner whispered, breaking the silence.
"Mmmm?"
"Ya know we're startin' school in a few days and... I just wanted ta say that I want everyone ta know what we have. I wanna start off high-school as your guy, and I want you to be my girl. So I guess what I'm asking is... Will ya be my girlfriend? For real, and not just between us?" Harleen could hear the apprehension in his voice, and saw it written in every line of his face when she turned to face him. He was obviously afraid that she might turn him down, but he shouldn't have been even a little bit.
"Of course!" She squealed before plastering her lips to his. After all this time, they were finally official! And now, she thought as she played an intense game of tonsil-hockey with her new boyfriend, everyone would know that she was the luckiest girl alive.
After a few minuets of making out, her boyfriend (she felt giddy every-time the word crossed her mind!) broke away from her and reached into his pocket.
"Well, since ya said yes, I guess I can give ya your real present now..." He began.
"Is it a pony?!" She asked jokingly, her eyes wide as saucers.
"No... It's this." He held up a tiny object before her eyes, and she gasped in amazement. There, glittering by the light of the moon, was a ring. "Of course, it's not a real one..." He continued, suddenly abashed. "But I thought ya could have this for now, and after we graduate I could get ya a real one and ask ya for real, if you're still interested by then that is. I mean-" His rambling was cut short with a tender kiss.
"Ya won't even need ta ask me then." She told him as she gazed deeply into his eyes. "I'll always love ya, for eveah and evah. My answah will be the same then as it is tonight: Yes, I'll marry ya. Yes, I'll be yah wife." She honestly didn't think she'd ever seen him look happier than he looked in that moment, when he hear those words. She took the ring from him and went to slip it onto her ring finger... Only to discover that it didn't fit.
"Shit." He swore in frustration. "I thought I got the right size but-"
"It's ok! Really!" She reassured him, still glowing from what basically amounted to a double proposal and not wanting to spoil the mood. "Here, I can wear like this, see?" She slipped it onto her index finger and waved it around as if to prove her point, "Plus, I can punch people with it like this!"
That got a laugh out of him. "So, shall we have some more?" He asked after their laughter subsided, holding up the bottle of Fireball Whiskey.
"Absolutely!"
Harleen groaned in abject misery as the sunlight stabbed painfully into her eyes, even through her eyelids. This was pretty strange, since her bed was in the corner away from the window specifically so she wouldn't ever have this-
She jerked awake with a start, wincing in pain as her headache caught up to her. Once she opened her eyes and looked around the rooftop, the memories of her wonderful birthday night rushed back to her... As did the knowledge of how totally screwed she was. She turned in panic to her gently snoring companion and began shaking him roughly.
"Conner! Conner, wake up!" He grumbled in annoyance and tried to swat her away, but she persisted until her finally took a look around and his face took on the same horrified look as hers.
"Aw crap..." He groaned as soon as he realized their situation. With him finally on board, Harleen felt she could safely give into her impulses and freak out.
"We'ah fucked, we'ah fucked weahfuckedweahfucked-" Conner reached out and grabbed her, halting her total breakdown.
"It's ok, I'm sure your Dad won't be too mad-"
"Bullshit." She ejaculated. "He'll chain us ta the basement wall, then he'll put a bunch of those alien eggs in front of us and they'll hatch and the face-huggers will face-fuck us, then the chest burstahs will kill us!" Conner stared at her incredulously.
"I... Really doubt that'll happen." He said slowly.
"Yah right, I'm just trying to be positive." She replied with a sigh. It then occurred to her that he had specifically said her father, and had said nothing about his own situation. "What about yah parents? Ain't ya worried about that?" He glumly shook his head.
"I'm not goin' home today. I'd planned ta stay out today anyway, just not like this." He told her. She could see that he was depressed, and his medication had likely worn off during the night. She hated to see him like this, and was a lot more worried about his statement than she cared to admit. Hopefully just asking him wouldn't be enough to clue him into just how concerned she was.
"And why is that?" She inquired, doing her best to keep her tone carefully neutral.
"Ya remember how I said I was gonna to be busy today, so I wanted to celebrate your birthday last night?" She nodded. "Well... At noon, I'm supposed to go in for some new medication. Ya know, before I start high-school."
Now that was a worry she could certainly understand. She'd seen him switch his meds a few times over the years, and it was always a little scary. Once he had completely flipped his lid and started screaming at Mikey so bad the the kid had run home in tears; and on another occasion he'd been unable to sleep properly for almost a week. She'd never seen anyone look so exhausted and had actually feared that he might be dying right in front of her.
"I just... My medicine works fine right now! Why can't they just leave me alone?!" He pleaded to nobody in particular, tears standing out in his eyes. "I feel like a Guinea Pig in a lab... Like they just wanna... I don't know, keep screwing with me ta see what'll happen! And my parents, they don't give a shit. Whatever the doctor says, they do. No one asks me what I think, no one cares..." Unable to take it any longer, Harleen threw her arms around her lover, squeezing him almost hard enough to hurt.
"Harleen-"
"Hush." She shushed him, placing a finger on his lips before replacing the finger with her own lips. "I care about ya. And I'll be here for ya, no mattah what. It'll be Harleen and Conner forevah, you'll see! Besides, I'm yah fiance now, so I'm gonna stick to ya like glue!"
"Fiance?" He asked in surprise, though Harleen noticed the corners of his mouth fighting the urge to shoot upwards into a grin.
"That's right! I got the bling so I get the title!" She announced, waving her ring around once more. "I'll be there for ya anytime, rain or shine! Uh, that reminds me... What time is it?" Conner pulled his phone out and grimaced. She had guessed from the position of the sun that it was pretty late in the morning, and that look pretty much confirmed it.
"It's ten. Exactly." She sighed again. Yup, her Dad was going to be pissed. But remembering Conner's own concerns took her out of her own for a moment, and let her put on a brave smile for him as she took his hand in hers.
"Well, if we're gonna die, let's go die together!" She gleefully declared, thrusting her free arm into the air before her like a general leading a charge; or perhaps an anime girl who had just managed to claim the last pocky stick. That finally got a laugh out of him and a genuine smile out of her. She loved every sound he made, but especially his laugh. It was so rare that each and every one felt like an early Christmas to her. And so the happy couple walked hand in hand to meet their apportioned fates together... Which ended up not being as bad as she had expected. Her Dad had only yelled at her for a few minuets, once she had managed to convince him that he didn't need to rush out and buy a pregnancy test. She'd have much preferred that his concern would have been founded, but she sure as shit wasn't going to tell him that. He was even nice enough to let her eat her birthday cake with him unwrap her gifts before he locked them in the closet, telling her that she could have them in a month. He was sweet like that; and had seemed genuinely happy that she and Conner would be starting high-school as a couple. And that was now in less than a week...
"Attention students: Harleen Quinzel, please come to the principal's office. Harleen Quinzel, please report to the principal's office."
The usual clamor of teasing arose from Harleen's English class. Not usual because this happened often, as this was her first day in High-school and she hadn't yet established a reputation as a delinquent; but rather usual in that this heckling was pretty much exactly what she would have expected from such a situation. Hell, if it hadn't been her being summoned, she'd have been doing it herself. Unwilling to be cowed by her new classmates she stood up and gave them an exaggerated wink and a double thumbs up before marching out of the room. After all first impressions were important, and they needed to know where she stood; specifically in the corner with a dunce cap, a joint and a PSP.
As she made her way down the unfamiliar halls, she couldn't help but wonder why she was being called to the office. She was only two hours into school, and hadn't had time to do any crazy shit and get in trouble yet. She hadn't even been to lunch, which meant she hadn't seen Conner yet. They didn't share any classes until the afternoon, so she hadn't had a chance to be reprimanded for PDA yet either. She anticipated this happening a lot in the future though. Her boyfriend was fucking hot, and she'd have to make it totally clear to all the other girls that he was taken; as well as showing them that any attempt to change this would be met with swift and brutal retaliation.
A small silver bell rung over her head as she pushed open the office door and made her way to the front desk where ditsy-looking blonde woman was managing the currently minimal flow of visitors.
"Hey, ya called for me? I'm Harleen." The blonde perked up and pasted on a highly artificial smile.
"Oh yes, they're waiting for you in the principal's office, third door on the left."
'They?' Harleen thought. Who could 'they' be? She began to feel a little worried as she approached the office door, thinking that it could be the cops. Granted it had been over two months since she'd broken into the pound on a dare and let all the animals in the back lose, but police investigations took time. Maybe they had finally tracked her down and she was about to face justice for the several dozen dogs and cats that she had released onto the streets. If that turned out to be the case then she was definitely ratting out Mikey. It had been his dare after all, and she saw no reason that she should have to suffer alone for it. More than a little apprehensive at the notion, she raised her hand and rapped on the door before her.
The door opened, and she came face to face with a woman she could only assume was the principal. She was tall and slender, with friendly eyes and long, ratty black hair with purple highlights. She reminded Harleen a little of Cher; if Cher had quit soft-rock, started smoking three packs a day and taken up death-metal. "Harleen?" The woman asked, her voice every bit as friendly as her eyes but with a bit of a rough edge. Harleen nodded in response. To her surprise, the look in the woman's gaze changed in an instant from warmth to one of pity. "I'm Principal Gochees. Please come in and have a seat." Harleen did so, sitting across the desk from the Principal; who herself called to a second door in the back of the room.
"She's here Paul." She said simply. Paul? Did that mean...
Sure enough, the door opened and her father stepped through. He walked forward and took the seat next to her, forming a triangle between the three of them. One look at his haggard face sent her over the edge from worry right into outright fear. Try though she might, she honestly couldn't remember a single moment when she had seen him looking so miserable.
"Dad, what's wrong?" She said, her trembling whisper barely loud enough for the two adults to hear. "Why are you here?"
"Honey, I'm afraid I have some bad news... Oh God that sounds so cliched." He groaned. The little girl didn't think she could become any more worried, but that simple statement proved her wrong. He never called her 'honey'. She was 'Harleen' or 'Beanpole' or even 'Imp'. He only ever called her 'Honey' or 'Baby' when shit got real. He reached out and took her hands in his, locking eyes with her and banishing all thoughts beyond his words to her.
"I got a call this morning. It was about Conner." Oh no. Oh dear God no, nononono-
"Last night... He died. His parents found him... Found his body this morning. His sister... She called me. She knew you would need to know."
And with those words, all the universe seemed to halt. Reality had been turned on its head, every sound was consumed by silence, every spark of light smothered in shade. Then everything seemed to move all at once, like a movie on fast-forward. Her Dad was trying to get her attention, repeating her name over and over again whilst gently shaking her shoulder as if to wake her from a deep sleep. Even the Principal was trying to get her attention now.
"No..." She whispered. It wasn't true. It couldn't be. This just wasn't the way the world worked. She looked back at her Father, her eyes pleading with him to tell her that it was some kind of sick joke, or even hoping that his face would turn into a hideous monster and that this was all a horrible nightmare.
"I'm so, so sorry Honey." Was all he said. He reached out and caressed her cheek, only to look stricken when she recoiled from his touch. Harleen was dimly aware that her whole body had begun to shake and that tears were now streaming from her eyes.
"H-how?" She wailed. Ms. Gochees leaned forward, her own eyes awash with tears.
"I really don't think it matters-" She began, her kindness halted by the weeping girl's upraised palm. Harleen lowered her hand and asked again.
"How?" She snarled through clenched teeth, mustering every ounce of her strength for this question. If this was true, if she was to believe it, she had to know. Her father drew a deep, shuddering breath before answering.
"He... He killed himself."
Her breath caught as though she had been kicked in the ribs; and like a faucet turned off, her tears stopped flowing. So... That was it. It wasn't his medicine... He wasn't sick, he didn't have a heart attack, no one had snuck into his room in the night and killed him. He had taken himself away from her. Everything he'd said to her, every precious moment they had shared, all their dreams and plans for the future... It had all been a lie. He hadn't loved her. He'd never loved her.
Her gaze fell to the floor, and she was dimly aware of the voices of her Dad and the principal talking. Something about sending her homework while she was gone. She didn't care. As far as she was concerned, her life was already over. Her Conner was gone. He'd left her forever, and nothing could ever change that. Everything she'd ever wanted, her dreams ever since she had met him as a six-year-old girl... It was all naught but ashes now.
"-And if she needs more time, we'll be happy to accommodate her. I-I'm so sorry for you both Paul. If you need anything, either of you, just give me a call."
"I will Diana, and thank you." He replied. He reached out again to take his daughter's hand, only to be refused once more. He sighed, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Come on Honey. Lets go home."
Harleen was catatonic all the way home, not uttering a word or even moving more than was absolutely necessary. Her brain felt like a broken record, repeating the same lines over and over again without end: "He died... They found his body... He killed himself..." Before she knew it she was through the front door and shuffling wordlessly up to her room. Her Dad was trying to tell her something, but it was all white noise to her.
Once in her room, she let her backpack slide to the floor as she walked over and sat on her bed. Her gaze wandered around her room, its walls like a slide-show of a life was now lost to her. Most kids put up posters on there walls or things like that, but she'd always found that to be stupid. Instead, her walls were covered in pictures: Fishing trips with her Dad, especially the time she'd caught a fish nearly as long as she was tall. Her and the gang, covered from head to toe in dirt after an epic clod-war. Sam was there, his bow slightly bloodied from a cut he'd received via a clod that turned out to have a rock in it. But he smiled in spite of the pain, his teeth still shining pearly white against his dark skin even after eating a mouthful of dirt. Mikey was next to him, his wild red hair full of chunks of dirt. Then came Harleen herself. At ten, she was already a bit taller than the boys, though her hair was still long at the time. She had also lost three teeth not long before that, but that hadn't stopped her from grinning like she had just won the lottery; her patchwork smile the perfect compliment to her dirty cheeks and scabbed knees. And finally, there was Conner. Rather than grinning like the rest of them, he smiled simply and calmly with a mature temperament that belied his youth. As the years had marched on, he had proven himself to be the wisest of them all, outstripping even Sam in their teenage years. His mouth had often been silent, but his mind was always running at a million miles per second. She had never been able to keep up with him, and had always held him in awe even before she fell in love with him.
Her eyes continued to wander across the pictorial landscape of her life, until her eyes came to rest on her most cherished picture. Her eyes filled once more with bitter tears as she remember that day:
It was the picture they had taken after their Pokemon grand championship match. The day after her first kiss. And there she was, holding hands with Conner. They looked so happy. They were so happy. They had found each other and life could hardly have been better than it was on that sunny summer day. As she had stood there, holding his hand and basking in the radiance of his love for her, she could have never guessed that it would all end this way...
She shook her head, her tears flying like tiny diamonds across the room. This couldn't be real. It had to be a nightmare, or some kind of joke-
Her head snapped up. Of course! This was a joke! A twisted prank! His sister had called her Dad, not Conner's parents, and she had a seriously fucked up sense of humor. Harleen would certainly kick her ass for this, but her wrath would be tempered with relief. Conner had been at school the whole time, and she would have seen him if she had just made it to lunch. But she knew an easy way to clear this all up; and on that thought she snatched up her phone and called him up. This would show the little bitch. They'd have a laugh about it, then plot a suitable revenge on his sister for this fucked up joke.
The phone rang... And rang... And rang. Her chest began to tighten with dread. He was going to pick up. He would, he must be in class or something... And then, just when she had started to lose herself to panic, she heard his voice.
"Hey." Just one word, and her heart soared into the clouds. She wanted to sing and dance and cry tears of joy all at once. He was there. He was alive.
"This is Conner. I'm not here so, ya know, leave me a message."
Heart broke all over again as she heard the dull, mechanical beep signaling her to leave a message. Her hand began to shake as she hung up. She called him again and again, and each time it just went to his answering machine. There was no one to pick it up, no one to tell her it would all be ok. No one to love her. Her hero, her best friend, the love of her life... Was gone.
The phone began to ring again as it slid from her numb fingers. A feeling, dark and wild was rising inside her. It offered comfort, solace and a balm for her pain. Its sadistic whispering offered her a wold free of pain, a world that made sense. She gladly embraced this shadowy new feeling, surrendered herself wholly to it; and in so doing she, for a brief moment in time, went stark raving mad.
Harleen's bloodshot eyes shot open and bulged from her sockets. Her hands flew to her hair as she shrieked like she never had before. She tugged at her hair like a lunatic as she howled in unbridled anguish, falling to her knees as she screaming until her throat cracked painfully and her lungs burned for air.
"Harleen!" Her Father bellowed as he crashed through the door. He rushed over to his baby girl and swept her into his arms, then frantically searched her with is eyes until he was sure that she was unharmed. And the very moment that he was sure she hadn't attempted to follower Conner into death, he heard a small voice speaking from the phone on the floor.
"Hey, this is Conner. I'm not hear so, ya know, leave me a message." So that's what had set her off. How many times had she called, only to receive that message? Paul squeezed his eyes shut in grief as he held his crying daughter, morning with her the loss of such a wonderful young man. He had been sure for years that Conner would someday be his son-in-law, and had treated him so for many years. To have him so suddenly ripped from their lives was... Crushing. Soul destroying. He hadn't felt sorrow like this since his beloved wife had died giving birth to the little treasure he now embraced. And more than anything, it killed him to know that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help her beyond sharing in her grief. And so he held her to his breast, rocking her back and forth like he had fifteen years ago; loving and mourning, comforting and weeping.
"Daddy..." She finally managed to say though the tears, clutching to him like raft in a stormy sea.
"Yes Baby?"
"I just don't understand... Why?!" She cried. "He said he loved me! He said we'd always be togethah, that we'd get married someday and... And..." Unable to continue, she dissolved into tears once more. Paul hugged her even more tightly and kissed her forehead, as though he could heal the scars on her mind and heart with such a simple gesture.
"And I'm sure he meant every word of it. I know he loved you too, with all his heart. I'm sure he meant to keep his promise." He reassured her.
"Then why would he... Kill himself?! Why would he leave me like this?!"
"Oh Honey..." He said, his own voice beginning to crack as he stoked her hair. "He was just... Sick. He didn't wanna leave ya. What happened was the same as someone dyin' of cancer, or somethin' else. He was really brave, and he fought it as long as he could but... Eventually, it was just too much. The disease won."
"Then what's the point? What's the point in lovin' someone if you're just gonna lose them?" He shuddered at these words, words he had prayed never to hear from his baby girl. Those words that he himself had screamed to the uncaring heavens as he knelt on the grave of his wife.
"I... Don't know." He confessed. Harleen jerked in his arms, the words hitting her like physical blows. So not even her Daddy knew. Maybe there were no answers to be had. Only pain.
"But I think-" He breathed deeply before continuing. "I think that the moments we share are worth it. The laughs, the tears, the kisses and fights... The good and the bad times. Every moment that we share togethah is precious. And even though it hurts when we part, we'll still have those memories. And we'll still be the person we are because of them. And in that way, we'll nevah be apart. Not really."
"I-it doesn't feel worth it." She sobbed.
"I know Baby..." He crooned as he rocked her again. "I know."
"Will I evah see him again?" She pleaded.
"Yeah... Yeah ya will. I might not know a lot, but i know that."
And so they sat, father and daughter, holding each other and watching the rain fall outside the bedroom window; pouring down from the heavens as though the gods themselves grieved for their loss. After a few minuets he carried her to her bed and sat down, holding her close until she cried herself dry against him. And even after that, he held her still. They sat in silence as the hours ticked by, with no need for words or any sound beyond their breathing and the gentle patter of the rainfall.
"Daddy?" Harleen finally spoke, her voice stronger than it had been.
"Yes Honey?"
"How did ya... Get ovah it it? When Mom died?" She gazed up at him, her eyes speaking louder than words that her whole world hinged on his answer.
"Its been fifteen years, and I still miss her every day. I'm not sure ya can get ovah somethin' like that. Not really. But... I had you." He told her as he gazed lovingly into her eyes, willing her to feel the infinite love he had for her in that single look. "My Little Beanpole." They both chuckled a bit at that. "I knew I had ta be strong for you. Ya needed me. And I guess... You gave me somethin' to live for. Somethin' ta fight for. A cause. I knew from the first moment I held you in my arms that I loved ya, and that I'd do anythin' for ya. And that gave me the strength I needed ta go on."
"So... You found a cause. Somethin' ta live for. Somethin' to fight for." He nodded, and she finally seemed to relax. He hoped that he'd chosen the right words. They were the truth, so the'd have to be good enough. He had nothing else to offer. After a long while, her steady breathing told him that she had finally fallen asleep. He laid her ever so gently on her bed, then tucked in her as he had a thousand times before. Then he leaned over and gently kissed her brow again.
"Sleep well, my Little Treasure." And with that he turned away, softly closing the door and leaving her alone in the dark.
The sun shown down brightly from the azure sky, seeming to mock the dark and sorrowful procession beneath it. Harleen, dressed from head to toe in black, walked alone in the line of mourners. Her Father would have been by her side, but he had been asked to be one of the pallbearers. Sam and Mikey where there too, carrying the coffin the held the cold corpse that had once been their dearest friend.
It had been a closed casket funeral. Someone said it was to spare the feelings of the mourners, but Harleen wasn't stupid. She knew the real reason. His remains had been deemed to gruesome to be viewed in public. She had vomited when she had first heard the news, her imagination conjuring up a seemingly limitless number of horrors that had been inflicted on her beloved. But she had long since cried herself dry, and now only the stony-faced grief of acceptance graced her features.
They finally reached the grave site, and Harleen couldn't help but notice the hole that yawned beneath the raised platform they set him on like some kind of monster eager to consume the man she loved. It was only with the greatest of effort that she managed to resist the irrational impulse to rush forward and scream for them to leave him alone, to beg them not to put him in that awful hole. But she knew that wasn't Conner; knew it wasn't the boy she had lived so many years with, shared so many dreams with and loved from the bottom of her heart. He was gone. She wasn't sure if she believed in heaven, but she knew without a doubt that if there was such a place, he was there. No one deserved heaven more than him.
Sam and Mikey were both weeping openly as they took their place beside her. Even her father was crying as he left the casket to join his daughter, grieving the son he'd been able to call by that name. Father Walsh, the priest who lead their small Irish-Catholic congregation, stepped forward. With a crestfallen countenance, he took his place before the casket as he began to address the gathering.
"When our people first came to this land, they were already a people much like our Lord; a people of sorrows, much acquainted with grief. They had endured loss, had shed enough tears it seemed to drown the world. And in their darkest times, they were shunned by those who should have reached out to them first. But still they had each other, as we do. And they had hope. Hope in a brighter future, and in a land of promise across the sea. It was this hope that drew them ever onwards, and that same hope which draws our eyes across the ocean we call death to the promised land beyond."
Conner's mother sobbed loudly into his father's chest. Harleen noticed that his older sister looked much like she herself did: Devoid of all emotion. Only the clenching of her jaw showed the grief that tore her apart inside. After pausing a moment in respect, the priest spoke again.
"But even more than life in heaven, those who cross into paradise first live on in those they leave behind. In our tears, our smiles and our laughter. In our memories, more precious than any earthly riches. And above all, in our lives which have been irrevocably marked by the love we shared with them; a love that will outlast all these mortal trappings and be renewed in our embrace in the sight of God." He crossed himself, signaling that he was to begin the prayer. Harleen dutifully crossed herself as well, no longer sure what to believe but feeling that she had to believe in something. She needed something to cling to in this storm. Perhaps that's all faith was in the end, people's way of finding meaning in a universe without meaning.
"Death... Is nothing at all. It is without meaning. I have but slipped into the next room; and all is as it was. The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, we are still."
Harleen ground her teeth together so hard she felt as though they would shatter like porcine. She had promised herself that she would be strong, that she would endure... She felt her Father wrap his arm about her, clearly sensing her distress. Nary a sob escaped her lips, but hot tears flowed freely from her cold eyes.
"Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way you always used. Put no sorrow in your tone. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we shared together."
Images flashed through her mind: Her and Conner playing hide and seek in her house, the time they had attended a family wedding and swiped frosting off the cake. The time they had swapped his sister's shampoo for honey, or how they had drunkenly laughed and joked just a few days ago on her birthday. Such precious, beautiful memories that she felt herself smiling through the tears. Memories that had made her life rich beyond measure, and that she would cherish all her days.
"Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household name that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort. Life means all that it always meant. It is the same as it ever was, a path that stretches forward unbroken. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?"
'You'll never be out of my mind Conner.' She tearfully swore in the silence of her soul. 'If I live to be a thousand, I will never forget the moments we shared together.'
"But I am waiting for you for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well, nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment, and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again."
With the end of the prayer, they all crossed themselves again. Now came the most difficult part. Harleen stepped forward, only to feel her father's hand tighten on her shoulder. "Are you sure about this?" He whispered. She smiled kindly at him and nodded. He took her word for it and released her to take her place by the coffin, with it between her and everyone else as was only proper. What she was about to do wasn't for them at all, it was for Conner.
The music began to play, and on cue she lifted her voice in a clear soprano and began to sing:
"Take the wave now and know that you're free,
Turn your back on the land face the sea,
Face the wind now so wild and so strong,
When you think of me,
Wave to me and send me a song."
"Don't look back when you reach the new shore,
Don't forget what you're leaving me for,
Don't forget when you're missing me so,
Love must never hold,
Never hold tight but let go."
Oh the nights will be long,
When I'm not in your arms,
But I'll be in your song, That you sing to me, across the sea.
Somehow, someday, you will be far away,
So far from me and maybe one day,
I will follow you,
And all you do,
'Til then, send me a song.
"When the sun sets the water on fire,
When the wind swells the sails of your hire,
Let the call of the bird on the wind,
Calm your sadness and loneliness,
And then start to sing to me,
I will sing to you,
If you promise to send me a song."
"I walk by the shore and I hear,
Hear your song come so faint,
And so clear,
And I catch it, a breath on the wind,
And I smile and I sing you a song,
I will send you a song...
I will sing you a song,
I will sing to you...
If you promise to send me a song."
As the music slowly died away, she leaned over and gently pressed her lips to the lid of the casket. "I'll never forget you Conner. Never." She whispered. And from that moment forward, there would be no more grieving for her. No tears. Only a promise: All who came to her with sickness in their minds and hearts would be healed. None would be refused, and none would be forsaken as being beyond hope. She would be their healer, their shield, their savior... Everything she had failed to be for the man she loved.
From that day until her graduation from college, she devoted herself utterly to her cause. For there was nothing in life but her oath and its fulfillment. She never dated, never took a day off. She never even laughed or cried. But beyond even this, never forgave herself and never forgot the wound that drove her forward. People called her many names, "Ice Queen" being perhaps the kindest. But they could never know, never understand what they couldn't see: A golden ring on a golden chain, hung ever about her neck and forever next to her heart.
Harleen splashed water in her face, washing away the ruined makeup and giving up on the idea. She gazed at herself in the mirror, her heart finally accepting the truth that gazed back at her. A decade and a half from her first kiss, and she was still that same freckle-faced girl. The girl who had played in the city with her posse, shared a night of passion with her boyfriend in a field of fireflies and wept over his lifeless body just a few days later. Her therapy had finally allowed her to accept that her compulsive need to heal the sick that grew from her oath, in combination with her repressed fun-loving identity, had made her an easy target for the Joker. He had allowed all that repressed laughter to come out, while twisting it to his own wicked ends. And as for her love...
"Conner." She whispered to the empty air. She never knew the Joker's name, but in her heart that was the name she had given him. She had felt that if she could just heal his madness with her love, she would finally regain the future that had been so cruelly stolen from her. And she had been a fool. That future was gone, lost forever to the darkness of death. But she still had her cause, and she now felt she could face it with an objectivity that never could have before. She had lost her way once, and never would again.
She dried her face, then limped over to her chest of drawers. Opening the top drawer, her gaze fell upon a small wooden chest, one of several items that Red had pilfered in her daring raid to recover Harleen's lost possessions from her hideout. Her fingers hesitated on the wood, tracing the patterns as she procrastinated the act. No. No more waiting, no more hesitation... No more doubts. It was time.
The wood lifted, revealing her most treasured possession: A cheep gold ring on a simple gold chain. She had kept in in this chest during her time with the Joker; knowing that she couldn't wear it but unable to give it up. And now the time had come to wear it again, to bear it and all it symbolized to her.
With tender hands, Harleen lifted the chain from its place and locked it about her neck. She gasped as she heard it click, a shock reverberating through her body. With that simple act, she had reclaimed her life; reclaimed her path. She'd heard about people joining churches feeling reborn, and decided that this was exactly what she was feeling. Rebirth and renewal...
The phone on her bedside table rang, jerking her out of her reverie. She picked it up and heard a voice that she recognized as one of the receptionists. "Ms. Quinzel?" She asked.
"Yeah, that's me."
"Your ride is here, she'll be meeting you at your room shortly." Before the woman had even finished her sentence, a series of sharp knocks resounded through the room.
"Yeah, I think she just got here. Thanks for the call." Harleen said before hanging up. 'And so, the good doctor arrives' she thought. This was sure to be a rough trip, but having Conner's ring hanging next to her heart again gave her the courage to face it, as though it were a magical or perhaps holy talisman to ward away evil. She smiled at the thought as she donned her coat and opened the door; only to have her smile vanish as her jaw dropped in shock. The person at the door was definitely not Dr. Hinkley. Standing in her stead, grinning from ear to ear and wearing what was quite possibly the least convincing disguise in history, was Pamela Isley.