I do not own Naruto and that sucks!
Chapter 10: Longest Conversation of my Life
I can feel my insides quiver at the accusation and I want to ask why. Then again, I am Gaara, so of course I am not going to ask. I sure hope he explains, though. "You're always watching the world and you spend most of your time on cruise control." He sits in the windowsill and crosses his arms. This man is a deity and I cannot help but wonder which one. "That is acceptable and one can only imagine what you have seen with those eyes of yours. I know it is hard for you to interact or react for that matter." He chuckled that perfect chuckle…well I think its perfect! "You make me talk more than I am used to. I guess I just want you to know." Okay so, that is all relevant but why do this tonight? I mean, fuck it! "I don't expect you to be something else."
I can feel those eyes on me even in the darkness. "I like who you are, and that is why I give you my undivided attention. I always listen to you and make sure I never miss anything. I guess I just need you to know, that someone is witnessing everything you do and say." The weight of his words is suffocating, because is that what I want…for someone to let me know that I am seen. "You see me Sasuke Uchiha?" I can see him shift, but I cannot determine if it is discomfort at my words or in curiosity of them. That is one of the disadvantages of darkness and the advantages are infinite. "I see everything, Gaara Sabaku. I see everything, because that is what I need to do for you." His soft sigh trails away in the darkness. "I am here to be your witness and because of that. I have made sure to become someone you, yourself needs."
I can feel my face warming. His words always, make me feel extraordinary, but those words pushed there way threw and opened a door. A door, I was sure that I had lost the key to many years ago. "Why say this? At the end of the evening, when the light chases away the darkness and intrudes on us…Karin will still be there and I will still be there." What the fuck was that? Why did I say such a foolish thing, am I stupid? "Hn, I am still waiting for an answer, Gaara. Should I not be with someone who wants to be with me?" I told you he was a clever little fuck! Always choosing his words carefully and making sure, I have to answer! What is that supposed to mean anyway? I hate that he is waiting on something from me! Why am I such an idiot when it comes to this! On the other hand, that was a cheap shot. "That is unfair Uchiha, and quite underhanded if you look at it from my perspective."
I know he is smirking because I can hear it, when he speaks. "It is only natural that I answer truthfully and most ardently." This is why I hate talking, because it gets you in trouble! I am here now, so I might as well let it be known, what I am thinking. "I try to remember, but it is so hard. I left someone…some part of me, behind so long ago. I learned to be self-sufficient in many ways and now I'm not sure what you ask is possible." Sasuke is silent and I wish I had something better to say. "Hn, I'm not sure if I would like that person much, anyway. How about you decided what this Gaara is capable of, before we go digging around for a person you never really met anyway." I love how he knows without even knowing. "This is where we start from and I would like an answer, from who you are…now."
I want to answer but there are so many questions, and that suffocating feeling is pressing down on me. He touches my face and brings me back. "Sasuke I am not a romantic and I have a tendency to be brutal at times, especially when it comes to words. But for now, I just need you to know that I don't know." I sigh inwardly because this shit is hard! "I just know I don't want to leave this place. You made this my time and place." Damn Raven, never leading…always waiting until I get there in my own time and in my own way. "Hn, Red you are one peculiar person. Just tell me what I want to hear and then we can start from here, together."
It is not that easy! People, tell him it is not that easy! I am not that easy, my mind is asking questions, now. Questions that are screaming for answers and it's so loud that I cannot hear myself think! I close my eyes tightly trying to force the questions to stop blaring at me. The damn things are relentless and unforgiving, please! This is the first time I have ever felt like a hostage in my on head and it hurts my heart.
"Stop," His voice chased the chaos away and I open my eyes to see his hands reaching for me. He is on the bed with me and I cannot help but wonder what it would be like…fuck it! His finger passes over my lips and I can taste heaven. "Could you just stay with me and not let your thoughts consume you, tonight." That request seems impossible but for tonight, I think I am going to try really hard. I just nod my head and I place both of my hands on that very hand that traced my lips. I kiss his wrist and I can hear his breath hitch. I reach over and place my hand gently at the nape of his neck, he lets me do it, and he doesn't tense once. So, I pull myself to him and I kiss his lips.
Those soft lips taste of vanilla. I cannot help but want more of this addicting taste. I press my lips to his again and I suck on his bottom lip, savoring that taste. I want to slide my tongue in his mouth, but I am afraid he will reject me. So, instead, I kiss the corner of his mouth and then he slides his hands to my hips and pulls onto his lap. The kiss is deepened with the sudden jerk forward. Even his tongue taste of vanilla, as it pushes, its way into my mouth. This new sensation is making my head spin. I suck his tongue and he moans into my mouth. He starts to trail soft kisses down my neck and a moan escapes my throat. What, a freaking moan and it was from freaking me!
Okay , so I have to be honest! I have never in my life felt like this and I don't ever make sound, but people this is just way to good! I can feel him smirking on my skin and he sucks hard on my shoulder, I know he is leaving his mark. He starts rubbing my back in circles and I cannot help but to get aroused. This was so intimate and yet still so innocent. He let those perfect lips ghost over my face, his breath is cool, and it sends chills through me like a winter breeze. He finally let his lips land on my eyelid. The kiss was so soft, that another moan pushes its way past my slightly parted lips.
"You like this don't you, Red." I cannot help but feel a little nervous at the statement. "Hn, it is okay Red. It's meant just for you anyway." You see what I have to deal with! This guy is un-fucking-believable! "I just want to touch tonight and maybe someday soon I will get my answer." He trails his fingers up my back and across my chest, I feel myself shaking. The shit is totally involuntary, I swear! He moves those perfectly sculpted fingers down my small abs and across my ribs. Those fingers are so warm and it I was a crazy, I would swear that they could burn me. He captured my mouth into another passionate kiss. My head is sent spinning because of that kiss, and I cannot help but, fucking moan again. Fuck it! His hand moves up to my face and across my Kanji. He caresses me as softly as he speaks... "Love," he whispers and I cannot help but want to be right here, even more.
He traces the Kanji with his fingers and I can feel the coil of heat in my stomach. I am not sure why it is there. I mean…we are not really doing anything! He moves his lips over my kanji and presses them very lightly. I can feel that stupid coil about to snap and it is freaking me out! He moves his lips from my tattoo, to my eyelid from there to my cheek and then, back to my lips. He invades my mouth as he pulls me to him and I'll be damned! That fucking coil snapped, I moan, and I feel like a complete loser! He was just fucking touching me and not in the places that usually send me over the edge! I came all over myself and for what? It wasn't even heavy petting, people! He doesn't say anything though; he just places his arms loosely around my waist. I must admit, it feels good to be in his lap and in his arms. The fucking vicodin is kicking in and that means I am headed back off to sleepy town, fuck it!
Okay so I am awake, but I have yet to open my eyes. Why…well that is a stupid question! Everyone knows that the morning after is usually awkward. I hate to think that Sasuke might not be, the same Sasuke. I know that is stupid, but it is true. I am a complete mess when it comes to anything dealing with the said Raven. He makes me say almost everything that comes to mind. Plus, it would piss me off, if he looks at me differently. "Red, I know you're awake so just open your eyes, already." I hate that he knows me, so well. Not to mention I am still a complete loser for cumming all over myself last night! I open my green eyes and I see beautiful onyx ones staring at me. "Welcome back Red, I see you took the long way around?" Oh! He is so freaking gorgeous!
"That vicodin is a little strong." That gotdamn smirk, again. "Well, after you told him what you had been on the pervious day…he felt you needed a higher dose to combat any issues." That was really smart; no wonder Kazuzu's a doctor. "Do you want to take a shower?" Of course I do! I think you know very well what I did in my pants last night. I just lift my eyebrow and nod my head. I find that I am a little shaky on my legs, but he is right there to catch me. I hate depending on someone, but this right here…is not really that bad. He helped me to the bathroom and I just sit on the toilet. Because I know that, I'm completely useless at this point. "You know Red, you look angry, is there something on your mind?" He turned on the shower and I stood up way to quickly, because my still ribs hurt like a bitch, but at least I didn't fall. I walk over to the shower and get in with my pant on, I pull them off and toss them out. "I can leave if you want?" I can hear him moving towards the door and I just didn't want him to go.
"No, you're fine where you are. I am not angry. I guess I'm a little confused." I can hear him settle on the counter and I know he wants me to keep talking, but I feel…well…stupid. "You asked me if I wanted to be loved and at first I felt it was impossible. I had decided a long time ago, that everyone was not meant for this life, and eventually I accepted that I was one of those people." I let the water chase away the soap as I stand under the water. "Then you came and wanted something that I haven't needed in a long time. It was insane to think that someone like you even cared." My chest is starting to ache. "I guess I am saying… I'm not worth it, but then again who am I to tell you whom you can love." I sigh inwardly, because this shit is hard too! "Just think about it this way though, my own father who helped give me life…doesn't even love me." Wow, that really sucks once I say it out loud, but what can I do? "I just want you to know that I am not worth your love and I know that because I know me. Karin on the other hand, shines just like you do and she is normal, very crazy. But, yet and still she is acknowledged." I can hear him chuckle softly and I am fucking offended!
"Red, once again you are not answering the question, you are just giving me reasons. So, why don't you start by answering the question first." This is stupid and I know better than to talk in circles, but I cannot help it! He makes me silly and unproductive! Fine, Fuck it! "Yes, I do." He pulls the shower curtain open and if I were easily embarrassed, this would be unusual. "That was a good start, now do you want to be loved by me?" Is he fucking kidding me! Hell, it took me almost two months to admit to the first fucking question! "Umm, I always wonder if you were a natural redhead…apparently you are." I roll my eyes, as if I haven't heard that one before. "I take it, I am not going to get answer right away?" I just glare at him, but it never has an affect on him. "Can I have kiss from my favorite redhead?"
I look at those perfectly pink lips as they come toward me, he kissed me gently and smiled. "I'm going running with the rest of the group. You are going to be stuck here with Itachi and Sasori." He closed the curtain as he continued. "Try not to make me wait another two months for another answer." He is such an ass, just like Naruto says. I finished up my shower and I take a look in the mirror. The purple and blue bruising looks horrible! There is a large splash of yellow and blue around my ribs. I would be pissed, but it is a waste of time. To be perfectly honest I did it to myself. Baki was just a catalyst and I could have said no, but I didn't say anything. I walk back into his room and it is really nice.
His bed is all black with four giant posts. A black comforter with the kanji's whole and complete in white, his sheets where black. There were throw pillows with the kanji's on them that lined the right side of the bed (the left side was pulled back so I could lay back down). In one of the corners, was a black loveseat with bookshelves full of books behind it. The whole and complete Kanji's were everywhere…on the throw over the loveseat's arm, on the lampshades on his bedside tables. The kanji's even manage to make it on the scarf that hung over his window. His floor was a black marble, this was a really nice room for a teenage boy. He had a small desk in the opposite corner with his laptop sitting open.
The walls were black and he had a giant flat screen that sat above a black table with doors. The flat screen is what is catching my eye though and not because it looks like the one Baki has, but because… On the screen there are photos flashing, it has photos of him and Karin, his teammates, the girls, his friends, his brother, and makeshift family. I even see a couple of photos of my dad and he's smiling, that is rarity. That wasn't what I noticed the most though…I see me. I mean all type of pictures of me. I am at school, at home, in the park, listening to music and in all the photos my eyes are never open or I am reading. I look sad, I mean I look really sad or like I'm lost. I mean pictures don't have a reason to lie! I guess I do have and awful look on my face or no it is my eyes, my eyes have been betraying me all this time! They tell me everything, so I guess they tell him everything too. This is so stupid and why me anyway! I am everything those people who I care for are not, I am a freak! I'm not mad about... it's just the way things turned out.
All right, fine! I want him to love me, but… Oh yes people there is a big ass but! But, I am nothing like what, he needs and besides…I like me. So, there is no way in hell I'm going to change! On the other hand, he did say he likes me the way I am, but I have to ask! Is that good enough? Yeah, maybe for now, but people get tired of unusual and lets be honest, I got my freak card when I was young. "Red, come down here and eat something." Itachi is so commanding and I wouldn't dream of disobeying him! I slipped on a long-sleeved shirt and hurried downstairs.
I came in the kitchen and Sasori handed me some pasta. I would have asked what is was exactly, but Itachi was hovering and I just ate it. "Lift you shirt Red, Kazuzu prescribed an ointment for the bruising." I lifted my shirt and he started to rub it in, it smelled awful. "Who this guy anyway?" I hate when people ask that question, because everyone always gets so upset. However, as I said before…I would not dream of disobeying Itachi. "His name is Baki Nakata, he is twenty-four years old, and he lives in the warehouse district of Sands." Itachi nodded his head as if taking note, which is just making me nervous. "Alright you are all set." He pulled my shirt back down. "You do know that is called statutory rape in twenty-five states and his ass needs to be picked up on the fucking charge." You see, that's why I hate when people care. They always throw words around like statutory and rape. "Baki is harmless when it comes to most adolescents. I was an exception, because I intrigued him and I will not be going back there."
I sure hope he drops the matter because it is stupid if you ask me. Why, because I believe all the states should set the age of consent to sixteen. By that age, you have enough common sense to have sex or not. "If I every hear anything else about that sick fuck, I will make sure Kisame gets his sorry ass." What would Kisame have to do with the cops? Itachi smirked, that Uchiha smirk. "Red, you are hopeless. Kisame is a detective on the Sands police force." Well, isn't that comforting! "Take these and go back to bed." I swallow the pills with the bottle of water handed to me and he points to the stairs. Adults suck! I mean because they are so nosy, I guess that is what a parent does. I wouldn't know... my dad barely looks at me. I pull on some black socks from my bag and go back to sleep.
"Hey Gaara wake up." That is Mari, I would know that worry anywhere. I open my eyes and sure enough, it is she. "You had me so worried, idiot. I told you Baki was a loser, did he put you out or something?" I shake my head, no. "Well, I want an answer." I sigh, because there is no way to avoid her. "He has a boyfriend, now. He lied to that boyfriend and that boyfriend found out. The boyfriend came over and he reminded me of a peacock. That boyfriend then freaked out and I left. Naruto called and asked, so I told him. After that, Sasuke and Naruto came. I saw Kazuzu and he said it looked bad. Kazuzu put my arm back and then I was drugged." I knew that everyone was in the room, because…well they're not the quietest bunch. They were going to find out what happened, eventually.
"Yes, he was drugged and after he eats this, he is going to be drugged, again." I sat up and Itachi handed me some kind of soup? People, you know I don't even protest because, it's Itachi. I noticed that everyone is here and Shino is sitting on my brother? I tilt my head at the sight and Kankuro just laughs. "Yeah, New Years was pretty interesting, Red." Kankuro put his are lazily around Shino's waist. I figured those two would get it together. "Shino's parents like me to." He was grinning from ear-to-ear. I ate, while everyone lazed around watching television. Karin the man-eater was sitting on Sasuke. I could see her watching me and it is never good, if she is playing attention to me.
"So, don't you have a home you could like…go to?" I knew she was going to say something stupid to me and I can see Tamari getting mad. "Not that it is any of your concern, but Itachi thought is best for Red to stay with us." She looked stunned and honestly so did the rest of us. Sasuke never got in the middle of Karin and me. "How can you say that? This is your house and he is in your bed!" Sasuke remained dead faced as he answered her. "If you do not like it…leave and if you say one more thing to Red, I am going to ask Neji to take you home. All that animosity towards him is unnecessary and if you keep it up…we are done." She jumped off his lap, as if something bit her.
"So, what I can't be uncomfortable? He looks at you as if he wants you! Then, when he is talking to you, it is like I don't fucking exist!" She put her hands on her hips, she was really pissed. "I am the one you are fucking! Are you fucking him? Are you fucking that redheaded freak!" I could see that Naruto was getting mad too and he never liked Karin, so I was hoping she would shut up. "I don't see where one has to do with the other. I just said, don't say anything else to him or we're done." He looked at her and she flinched. "I am not going to tell you again." She crossed her arms across her chest. "Can we go talk about this somewhere else?" Now the man-eater wants to be rational. Sasuke stood up and walked out the room with Karin on his heels. A couple of seconds later, Itachi came in. "What is that all about?" Everyone pointed at me and I just shrugged. He handed me my sleepy town meds and rubbed the awful smelling ointment on me. He even kissed my head before he left and I liked it.
"I hate that bitch, I hope she says something else and he drops her!" Naruto is always the first to voice his opinion. "I was going to deck her, if she said one more thing." That was a surprise, because Sakura said it. She blushed. "Okay, so Gaara grew on me! Can you blame me, he is easy to be around, and he draws the best sketches of me." I can feel my face rearrange a little. "Is that a smile? I have not seen one of those from you since you were eight!" Kankuro laughed. "Damn, I need a camera!" Leave it to my sibling to overreact. "Aww, Red…why did it have to go away so soon?" I roll my eyes. "Leave it to you two to spoil it for everyone." Sakura cracked the window to be nosy as I snuggled back into bed.
"So, what you care about him more than you care about me? We have been together since the ninth grade!" Sasuke sighed. "Karin, you are always fucking someone behind my back and maybe I do care about him more…do you blame?" I could hear her shriek and it was a little unsettling. "I have always been a screw up and now it is a problem! I mean, what are you trying to say!" I could hear someone shift in the grass. "I'm saying I am tired of you coming back when you feel like and I am tired of not caring about what you do. Truth be told, I never cared what you did…it never affected us." You could hear her squealing. "Yeah, I know! That is why we work so well, but I want to know if you're messing with him." Someone shifted again. "Why? Is that an issue for you, if I am?" She squealed again. "I am not like you Sasuke! I care what you do and whom you do it with! Because I am afraid you might fall in love!"
"Karin, me and Gaara are just friends. We have not done anything and to be honest…if I had the opportunity, I would love him." Okay, raise your hand if you do not want to hear the rest of this conversation. Damn people, could you be on my side…just once! "So where does that leave us? I love you, can he say that!" Sasuke sighed. "It is not about that, Red is one of those people you have to wait for." Sasuke chuckled. "I guess I am willing to wait for him. Karin you can stay around or you can leave, but either way I am waiting on someone else." I could hear her crying and I felt somewhat bad. I tried to bury myself because I could feel the eyes in the room on me and thank the heavens my meds were kicking in! "I don't know Sasuke! Why him, he is nothing like us!"
Lilith your request has been answered! To tell the truth, I had already started before you reviewed…But, I just love it when you tell me anyway! Yessuka, do not freak I promised Friday and it is Friday my dear! You had better have something up by Sunday or you are getting a very nasty PM. Also, I sure hope you have the net now! Thanks for the many hits, I am glad people like me or my story? Everyone is encouraged to reveiw...