Kjelle and I are in her pool, splashing water around us. It's a really nice pool, which has a jacuzzi and everything. The only light illuminating our faces are the pool lights around the edges. It's 7:44 p.m. The pool is big too and takes up half of the backyard. Kjelle keeps to herself a lot, so the pool doesn't get much use other than me coming over all the time and the few small pool parties she's hosted. I remember hearing her mom encouraging Kjelle to make more friends, but Kjelle always shrugged and patted my arm, as if saying just having me was enough.

I mean of course she has other friends, like Laurent, Brady, Gerome, and Lucina. But to her, everyone has a specific role. Gerome is her athletic rival and Lucina is her idol, and so she talks to them about sports and general bodybuilding advice. Ugh, back in high school they used to voluntarily go to the gym together. I bet they still do, now that summer's here. Brady is the guy she likes to pick on 'cause he makes it so easy, but he's just as stubborn as I am, so he matches her energy. She usually hangs out with him when I'm busy doing ballet. I should say when I used to do ballet. Not anymore. It stopped being fun, and I felt that Mom was being too...harsh on me. And Laurent is...Laurent. Observant, monotone, pensive. No brainer why they're friends.

Kjelle's wearing a one-piece with blue, pink, and white vertical stripes. Her tan skin really pops out against these colors. I'm low-key high-key trying to impress her with a teal lace bikini. Though I'm not sure why I bother sometimes; it's not like Kjelle notices these kinds of things. There's three feet of space between us. Things got...weird at the diner. Like Kjelle eventually moved her hand away from my thigh, but then she put it around my shoulders instead. Her face was literally an inch away from mine. She glanced at my neck, where she bit me earlier. Embarrassingly enough, Laurent didn't comment on our hickies, even though he kept looking at them like deer in headlights.

Anyway, the dark-haired teen blew on the hickey, making the hairs stand up. I swear she's trying to end me. She also said, "I want to bite you again," in a husky voice and hoo boy, my ovaries were not fucking ready. So I giggled and said something along the lines of we're in public, and she promptly stopped. Let go of my shoulders and sat at a more platonic distance from me and continued the conversation as if we were talking about my favorite tea sets. I didn't wanna make a fuss, since I did technically push her away, but still. I liked that intensity she was giving, even though she never did that before and I was panicking.

So yeah. We're three feet apart in a pool, splashing and looking at the stars. I love living here in Newark 'cause the stars are so much brighter than in NYC. I remember once when I was on our many day trips to Manhattan that I looked up at the sky at around 8 p.m, and...nothing. I saw like two stars. Made me realize how good I have it here.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kjelle inquires.

I let out a deep breath. "Just thinking about how pretty the stars are tonight."

"Mmm, they are." I look at her, but she's looking at me, not the sky. She has a small smile on her face, eyes soft.

I don't know what to do. "Um…" I clear my throat, "so Laurent huh. He's nice."

Kjelle snorts. "You hate him."

I nod. "Yeah, not gonna lie. But he's good for you, I guess."

She tilts her head. "What does that mean?"

I raise my eyebrows, trying to find a good way to get out of this. "You know…having a friend at college with you. Getting closer, seeing new sides of each other…"

Kjelle laughs and rolls her eyes. "I don't like him, Severa. And he's barely changed this year." She pauses a moment to think. "Well, he did take up archery with me. But he's just a dependable friend. I'd rather have you with me, though."

I blush, biting my lip. "Thanks...so, that means you haven't kissed him?"

Kjelle laughs more, the sound ringing out in the night. She wades closer to me. But not too much, just enough for me to want to close the gap. "Of course not Severa. And before you ask, yes I still have virgin lips, so don't bother me about it."

I cough to cover up the squeal ready to erupt from my throat. Good. I want no one else to kiss you. I play with a loose strand of hair that's escaped from my bun. "Do you...want to? L-like, at some point, I mean." I look at her to gauge her reaction.

Kjelle shrugs, her eyes unreadable. "I guess...just to get it over with and actually know what the hype is all about."

I step closer to her. There's now a few inches of space between us. I could almost feel her breath. I want her to bite me again. I put a hand on her bicep. Since she's totally ripped, I press a thumb to test her muscles...aaand yeah, no fat. It's like they were fucking sculpted from marble. "Kjelle…" I breathe.

"Yes?" She puts a hand on my cheek.

I swallow the stupid cheesy stuff that's on the tip of my tongue to say, "If you want to get it over with…"

My best friend smirks. "If you insist." And she leans in to kiss me.

I took Sumia to the riverbank to look at the ducks and swans. I'm plucking grass and half-heartedly throwing it into the water. Some of the aquatic birds are intrigued and swim close to me, quacking and swimming in lazy circles. Once we made it it here, I lost the drive to speak my mind, so Sumia's patiently waiting for me to say my piece. I've said some half-formed sentences, like, "I love Chrom. Or loved. I don't know," "I love you," and, "I'm tired." I've been saying the third thing most of all. Sumia has a hand on my shoulder, but not putting any weight behind it, as if she's scared that if she puts too much pressure, I'll scatter like the grass.

To distract me, Sumia asks, "What do you like about the river?"

I lift a shoulder. When I did rowing back in college, we practiced on the Hudson everyday at 6 a.m. It was a weird green color and pretty dirty, but the Newark Bay is cleaner. More blue. There are couples rowing in swan boats. I used to want Chrom to take me, then my ex-husband. But I think I wanted to take Sumia most of all. She's not a great swimmer, but she loves romantic spots like this. This is where Chrom took her for their one-year anniversary and their twentieth wedding anniversary. They still keep the spark alive by visiting national parks and going to places like Sydney, Australia and Santiago, Chile. Of course, sometimes it has to be a family vacation 'cause of the twins, but they still act like they're sixteen and starting out.

Shit Cordelia. Now you're getting bitter again.

"I want to take you boating," I mumble.

Sumia hums. "That sounds fun. Why don't we?"

"Because now I'm just thinking about Chrom and I don't want to do the thing you've already experienced."

Sumia sighs. She gets up and walks to the edge. The birds swim toward her in curiosity. She bends down, cups her hands in the water, and gets a small puddle going. She then gets back up, walks over to me, and throws the water at me. I yelp. "Sumia, what the fuck!?" My orange ruffled blouse is wet now.

She starts running. "Come and catch me!" she yells. I groan and give chase.

"Sumiaaa!" We run across a red wooden bridge, but just as we reach the other side, Sumia trips and falls. "Mia no!" I leap to envelop her in my arms right before we hit the ground and tumble. My shoulder takes the brunt of the force. We roll to a stop a few inches from the dirt path. Sumia's on top, her raspberry perfume directly hitting my nose. "Mia?" I question.

Her face is pressed against my neck. Her shoulders shake, immediately making me think that she's crying or in pain, but then I hear her peals of laughter. Sumia raises her head enough to look at me, gray eyes filled with mirth. "Let's do that again!"

I release her and poke her side. "You scared me Mia!" She rolls off of me.

Giggling, she swats my hand away. "Stooop, that hurts!"

"Oh yeah," I say while poking her more, "say that to my wrecked shoulder!"

Sumia suddenly loses all joy, her eyes wide and her mouth in a small O. "Wait, really, is it dislocated?" She moves to inspect it. It's bright red and I wince when she presses a thumb on it. I slowly roll my shoulder to test it out. It hurts to move, but it doesn't feel dislocated… "Ugh dammit…" Sumia curses under her breath. "And I was doing so well today…"

"Hey, it's not your fault…" I look at her mussed up hair. "Wait, where's your beret…?"

"Hm?" Sumia puts a hand on her head, as if confirming for herself that her beret is really gone. "Huh?" Both of us look around the vicinity, and I catch sight of it in the middle of the bridge. I make a move to get up and get it, but Sumia pulls me down. I give her a look and try to get up again, but she grabs my wrists and won't let me. I frown. "Come on, Delia, you're hurt…" I shake my head to tell her it's okay. But then she inches closer, her legs folded underneath her, and traces my palm lines. The intimate sensation rushes up my arms and I blush.

"But...your beret…" Yet Sumia pays no mind; her only focus is my hands. "Sumia…" I breathe. I want her so bad.

Sumia looks up at me and gets really close to my face. I start panicking. What is she doing? She bites her lip. Was that on purpose? Is she trying to seduce me? "I want all of you," she whispers. I could've died right then and there and I would've been absolutely satisfied with my life from just that.

But she pulls away just as suddenly and looks down at my hands again, a tinge of pink spreading across her cheeks. She tucks her silver hair behind an ear and traces my palms again. I ignore my injured shoulder⸺I should really get an ice pack on that, honestly⸺to ask, "Why didn't you…?"

The shy, skittish, lovestruck Sumia from high school comes back. She covers her face with her hands, squealing and mumbling five thousand things at once. I raise an eyebrow and wait for her to stop. After a moment, she lets out a deep breath and moves her hands away. Her face is completely pink. She looks at me briefly to say, "It's up to you to kiss me or not this time," before averting her eyes and staring at the lone beret. A few leaves have dropped to keep it company.

I blink, my heart going off like a tea kettle. Um. I realize now that Sumia has initiated all the romantic intimacy between us. Of course, I loved it and wholeheartedly reciprocated, but…

What about Chrom?

What about Chrom?

Can you do this and let go?

Do you want to?

...Yes. Yes, yes I do. Sumia, the girl who looked at me the second day of pre-K and loudly proclaimed, "That's my best friend!" Sumia, the woman who loves swings and loves it when I push her. Sumia, the girl who partook in pie-eating contests back in college. Sumia, the woman I swore to spend the rest of my life with. She's looking at me right now, hope in her beautiful eyes.

I reach out and cup her cheek with my hand. Her eyes widen and begin to water. I lean in for a slow kiss, relishing in her warm tongue, her soft lips. Sumia moans and she falls back so that I'm on top. It hurts to rest my elbow on the ground because of my shoulder, but I manage to press my body against her. Sumia runs her fingers through my red hair, giggling. I pull away for a moment and give her an eskimo kiss. A tear has escaped her, and my eyes are pretty watery too. I whisper, "I love you, Sumia."

Sumia gives the biggest smile. "I love you too, Cordelia."