Warning: This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

To be Roxas

"Axel, do you really have to go home?"

I stopped in the middle of spraying my hair with copious amounts of Demyx's hair spray to bend down so I could talk to Henna. "Well, later today then Roxas is going to come to my house. And then afterwards, we're going for ice cream on the clock tower."

Her sparkling brown eyes grew even wider than they were naturally. "And you're gonna tell him that you love him?"

I winced. You try breaking a promise like that to an adorable little girl who was clutching Mr Bunny in one hand. "I'll try, Henna. If I chicken out and don't tell him, I'll try again tomorrow. Okay?"

She nodded. "And you gotta keep trying until he loves you back." She pulled Mr Bunny into what must have been a painfully enthusiastic hug. "You two are perfect for each other."

I smiled at her. "Hey, yesterday I held his hand."

She gasped. "In this movie I saw, they said that you can always tell that they're your true love when your hands touch. Is it true?"

I looked from left to right – like anyone except Hayner was actually going to give a fuck if they overheard – and leaned closer to her. "I think I already knew before we held hands," I whispered. "But now it's definite."

I watched the smile grow across her face. "When you and Roxas have babies, will you name one of them after me?"

"Of course we will, Henna." She didn't need to know the details about boys and their inability to reproduce with one another. Roxas and I could adopt, anyway. "Now, while I'm gone I need you to look after Demyx, because he's a little upset."

"A little upset" didn't scratch the fucking surface. I was scared that he was going to jump off a bridge while I was wooing Roxas. Xigbar hadn't spoken to him since the Natalie tattoo incident and he was looking, well, devastated at best.

"Why is he upset?" Henna asked, reaching up to straighten my shirt. N'aww.

"Well..." His favourite teacher is fucking someone else and for some reason he prefers her. "The person he likes, well, he likes someone else. But he kind of made Demyx think that he liked him back for a while, and then all of a sudden he finds out about this bi-this girl, Natalie."

Henna smiled. "You know Hayner says bad words all the time, and sometimes Demyx does when he doesn't know I'm listening. I don't mind if you call her names."

Reason number three hundred and twenty-seven why Hayner should die alone and cold and Roxas-less.

"Bend down more and I'll put some lipgloss on you," offered Henna, brandishing a tube of lipgloss. I had seen the magic she worked on Demyx's face and bent closer to her without a word of complaint. "Just hold still..."

When she was finished applying my make-up, assisted by Mr Bunny, of course, she patted me on the head, kissed me on the cheek, and wished me "All of the lucks in the world" before scampering away to look after Demyx. She was so sweet.

I decided I probably had time to walk to my house. Roxas wasn't due there for another two hours and it was about a half-hour walk from Dem's place, but I wanted to make sure that I had hidden all my pictures of Roxas – I mean, that my hair was okay. Obviously.

"Hang on a sec..." I looked down at my iPod screen for a second before tearing out my earbuds and stuffing it back into my pocket in disgust. "I don't even like Ke$ha, what the fuck?"

In the deadly silent alleyway, I could still hear "Your Love Is My Drug" playing faintly out of my left pocket. I felt mildly uneasy walking down here. Just mildly.

I kicked a pebble. It fell into the road, lost and lonely, and for some reason, it reminded me of Demyx.

I sighed. What was I even going to do with Dem? He was clearly head-over-heels, sickeningly, terrifyingly in love with Xigbar, but he still didn't see the problem with sucking Luxord off, flirting with Xemnas and sending the occasional photo to Zexion. It really worried me to think that one day soon he was going to be legally old enough to do literally whatever those men wanted him to do, and he didn't seem to mind that idea. I was scared that he actually depended on making them think he was sexy to feel attractive himself. I was scared that one day very soon, he was going to realise that the whispers of "whore" and "slut" weren't as unfounded as they seemed, and that no matter what his intentions, people were judging the hell out of him. Because rumours went around, girls talked, guys overheard, and it was pretty widely known already that Demyx had some very questionable methods of getting what he wanted. I didn't want him degraded like that – degrading himself like that.

Although he did make a good point about my shameless stalking of Roxas and cheating myself out of the grades I deserved to stay on the same level as him.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I was still a good ten minutes from home. I sighed heavily and took it out, hoping it wasn't "Goodbye, cruel world," from Demyx or "You're a fucking creep and I hate you" from Roxas.

(1) New Message from Demyx

Hey Ax. I'm fine, seriously. Henna says hi and good luck. I also say good luck and hi. And so on. I didn't sleep last night, can you tell? Don't rape Roxas, that's probably where Hayner was going wrong. -Dem

God, every time someone so much as mentioned Hayner I felt sick to my stomach.

Aw, thanks, you two. Don't worry, Dem, I'm planning on being a perfect gentleman. Give Henna a hug for me. -Ax

I stuffed my phone into my pocket, emerging into the snobbiest neighbourhood in Twilight Town and biting down on my bottom lip. I always felt so badass walking down the nice clean streets with firetruck red hair and eyeliner, but today I was nervous as fuck. Only an hour and a half til I saw Roxas. Shit.

I sprinted to my house. I sprinted up the stairs. I sprinted into my room. Okay, I needed to get all the slightly questionable photos hidden – would it be worth destroying my video camera? That had a tape or two on it as well – and the bed nice and comfy just in case, and make sure I knew where my condoms were, and the lube, and maybe those pink fluffy handcuffs that Demyx's cousin Saïx got me as a joke –

And maybe breathing would be a good idea as well.

I leaned against my wall. Right, okay, all I needed to do now was calm the fuck down, make sure that my laptop was shut down (the number of times I've left it on with certain pictures of certain people being transferred from my cellphone to my hard drive – emphasis on hard, most of the time – and my parents have stumbled across it) and figure out how I was going to seduce Roxas.

Axel. I know what you're like. Just take some deep breaths now. When he arrives – if he hasn't already – keep your hands to yourself. Sit on them if you have to, I don't really give a fuck. Just do. Not. Do. ANYTHING. Perverted. Got it? -Dem

Yeah, yeah, I know. But what if he gives me that "come hither" look that he does? Or he stretches and his shirt rides up and I see his skin... Was I actually managing to get myself hard typing things about Roxas? Fuck. Was that construed as true love or just an unhealthy obsession? What if when we're eating ice cream he's sucking on it and... um... -Ax

Aaaand now I was incredibly stiff and Roxas was gonna be here in... forty-five minutes. What if I wasn't finished when he got here? Imagine if he got to my fucking house and I couldn't open the fucking door because I was fucking masturbating.

My phone went off again. Demyx was such a fast texter. I had once overheard the single most disturbing conversation between Luxord and Xigbar about "Demyx's talented thumbs", and I did like to tell myself that they were referring to his skill at Temple Run or Angry Birds.

Okay, firstly, Roxas is probably physically incapable of giving anyone a "come hither" look, and in fact, your imagination is just scary. Second, no matter what happens, you will NOT try to molest him, because you want him to fall in love with something other than your dick. Okay? Okay. -Dem

Fuck that child and his fucking logic.

I sighed. Okay, I could either jack off now, or I could jack off after Roxas left. Or maybe if I got lucky Roxas would help me to release some tension... Oh, fuck, I was going to have to –

And then there was a knock at the door.

SHIT.

Doing dishes... well, attempting to...

"...so then the cat leaps over the fucking fence, and topples the entire goddamn garbage can..."

I almost got the impression that Axel wasn't really listening to me. He was staring at me as I washed all his fucking dishes. Why the fuck did he have so many dishes, anyway? And why was it necessary for him to watch me scrubbing them? Although it was nice for him to keep me company while I babbled on about nothing in particular.

"Roxas?" I looked up at him briefly, nearly scalding my hand on the water when I wasn't paying any attention. "It would work better if you did it in circles."

"No it wouldn't!" I protested, looking down at the dishes I had already done. They were fucking perfect. How dare he insult my dishes? "How the hell would it?"

"Look." All of a sudden Axel was behind me and holding the very same dish I was holding. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that there are ways of demonstrating your point without cuddling up to the person you were explaining to. "Do it like this," he breathed in my ear, lacing his warm, dry fingers with my wet soapy ones and moving my sponge in a circle.

"It doesn't work," I protested, deciding that he probably hit on everyone like this and that I should just continue as normal, even if I was rather enjoying this. "It works better the way I was doing it before, up and down."

Please, for the love of all things wholesome, do not repeat that last sentence without explaining the context it came from first.

"You shouldn't contradict me, Roxas, since I'm the one with the munny." Manipulative bastard. Although it was quite sexy when he – wait, what? "But, you know, whatever. Do it your way. It looks like it was working beautifully, just taking you a while."

"Oh, so you want rid of me as soon as possible?" I joked, noticing that now he had finished playing with my washing-up sponge, rather than letting go of me he simply threaded his arms around my waist and stayed behind me, his chest brushing my back every now and again and sending tingles through my entire body like some fucking cliché girl from some cliché novel.

"Not at all," he murmured, surprisingly close to my ear, his grip tightening on me. "But I believe you promised to sit up on the clock tower and eat ice cream with me after you finish with that?"

"Oh, yeah, I did promise that." I had almost forgotten, what with everything being so up and down over the past few days. "So you want me to be finished so I can spend more munny on more ice creams for myself, then?"

Axel "tsk"ed in my ear. "I would pay for the ice cream, Roxas. Obviously."

"Why, because you're filthy rich and your parents raised you to be a charitable soul and donate ice cream to stray blondes you come across?" I teased, finishing the last black dish and starting on the smaller white ones. At this rate I'd be done within an hour at most, which left me plenty of time for hanging out with Axel and being Axel's friend and finding out about Axel's crush.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I swore under my breath. Axel smirked. "It's okay, Roxas, you can answer it."

I wiped one of my hands dry, wriggled away from Axel a little, and dug into my pocket. "hello?"

"Hey, Roxas, it's me." My entire being went cold and I grabbed onto the nearest warm thing I could find – Axel. "You okay?"

"N-Nami, you shouldn't be... you can't have your cellphone near your equipment, remember? It'll fuck up your heart again."

Axel said nothing, just slipped a thin arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "It's okay, Rox," Naminé laughed down the phone, "they took me off the heart system thing this morning when I woke up. They said that if I go under again, they'll have to hook me back up, but –"

"If?" I echoed, vaguely aware of Axel's hand moving up and down my back. "You mean there's a chance you'll stay awake? This time, I mean?"

There was a long pause. I braced myself for the worst.

"No, Roxas. It means there's a chance I'll stay asleep. This time, I mean." I screwed up my face in pain. Even though I was almost ready to hear that... "But don't focus on that. Keep your head up and smile, okay?"

"Naminé," I said desperately, clinging to Axel's shirt with the damp hand that wasn't holding my phone. "I'm working on it, okay? Mom and Dad and I are all trying to find the munny for your surgery. Don't give up yet. Don't go back to sleep."

There was another pause, with Naminé definitely still there, just too scared to speak. I waited, not wanting to talk over her or interrupt her.

The line went dead.

"Fuck it!" I hissed, feeling my cellphone fall through my fingers and hearing it land on the solid kitchen floor, but seeing nothing through the haze of tears and Axel's shirt. He held me like a little kid, patted me on the back, made me feel better. "I-I'm sorry, Axel, I –"

"Don't you dare apologise, Roxas," he growled, his fingers twisting into my hair, which was oddly comforting. "None of this is your fault, understand?"

I nodded into his chest, giving up on my dignity and wrapping my arms around him. "I just – if she gives up... I couldn't bear it..."

"Don't you worry, Roxas," he said quietly, tipping my head back so that he could dab away the stray tears with his sleeve. "I swear she'll be okay."

I nodded, not believing him for a single fucking second. "Thanks, Axel. I should probably..."

"Leave them." He took hold of my shoulders and turned me firmly away from the dishes. "You're coming with me and we're having ice cream."

Nothing of note happened during the process of buying ice creams, and in fact the first interesting thing happened when we reached the top of the clock tower.

"Roxas..." Axel began, tearing off the wrapper of his ice cream. He'd gone for sea salt, which I had been planning on having, but I didn't want to look all matchy and weird, so I went for strawberry instead.

"Mm-hm?" I asked, my tongue winding around the ice cream, working fast before it started melting.

Axel cleared his throat. "I want you to know something." I looked at him expectantly. "I... uh..."

"The almighty Axel, stammering?" I teased, trying to get a smile out of him because he had suddenly started looking kind of queasy. "You're not going to tell me that you hate my guts and want me to jump off the clock tower, are you?"

Rather than laughing like, oh I don't know, a normal person, Axel grabbed my arm and tugged me as far away from the edge of the tower as he could get me. "Don't say stuff like that. And don't you dare die. I officially forbid you to die."

I grinned. "I wasn't really planning on it." I noticed Axel was still holding my arm and I tugged it gently out of his grip. "So what were you gonna tell me?"

Axel coughed. He finished the last of his ice cream and tossed the stick over his shoulder, clearly not giving a fragment of a fuck. "Well, Roxas... the thing is..." He looked really nervous. "Um... I..."

"Axel, are you okay?" I asked softly, putting a hand on his arm. He looked down at said hand on said arm for a moment before covering it with his own and lacing his fingers through it.

"Yeah, I am." He squeezed my hand hard. "Just a pussy, that's all."

"You're the least pussyish person I know, Axel," I said, stroking his hand with one thumb. "If you don't wanna tell me, it's fine. I'm not going anywhere, you can always tell me some other time, or call me or text me or buy a messenger pigeon..."

Axel laughed. "Thanks, Roxas. You know, I meant what I said earlier. There is no way in fucking hell that I would let your sister die. Not if it would hurt you that much."

I decided not to point out that a) Axel had literally no power over Naminé's life or death, unless there was something he wasn't telling me, and b) he seemed a whole lot more focused on me being sad than he did on Naminé dying.

"Thanks, Axel." I finished my ice cream in silence, my heart pounding in my ears for no reason other than Axel's hand in mine, and then Axel walked me home.

So now he knew where I lived, which was convenient, I suppose, just in case anything happened, but I felt strangely uneasy about the possibility of him following me home.

xxx

Another chapter very soon after the last one, because I loves you all, and because I'm a teensy bit stuck on My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay, so I figured I'd at least upload something. And who knows, maybe I'll be able to get some My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay polished to perfection and uploaded by tomorrow night.

I'm just about to leave for school so I can't really write much, but I love all of you and want you to REVIEW! xoxo