Bloopers- Take 2! ACTION!
'And God said, "Thou shall eat cheesy nachos for all eternity." :D
LOVE, BoosterSeat3.'
Chris eyed the note intently, "... Jill, I think we got the wrong scripts..."
Wesker walked forward, knelt over, and picked up Jill's shades from the floor. He then turned, and handed them over to Chris, who in return, flashed a slight smile, and took them. He wondered if she'd even take them back, after Wesker had used them... She seemed to really hate him and to distrust him, not that he blamed her. He himself still didn't trust him, but at least he was trying. He was trying to accept this man who had, in a way, been reborn: Given a chance to start a new life. He was hoping for positive results from this gamble.
Wesker approached him, "...I'm going to eat your soul..."
'So much for positive results'
'What did he just call me?'
Surely Chris knew his name, right? He and the others have been calling him "Wesker"... First name... "Albert", right? Where did this new name, "Fat Albert" come from?
Wesker stared at his hand, "How is it that I am capable of such a feat?"
Chris stiffened, what was he gonna say? He couldn't tell him the truth, because one, this was Wesker, and it might trigger him to remember something. Two, it would sound COMPLETELY insane to any normal person, and three, Chris couldn't believe he just considered Wesker to be normal!
"You're just... Batman," Chris said, bursting out laughing.
"Hell yeah, I'm batman," Wesker laughed.
Kioni, the director, facepalmed.
(The following blooper was presented to me by dolly-cola. Thank you for the idea!)
Chris sighed in anger; nothing he had was very... "Wesker like". Everything was more to his likings, and that was a big no, since he and Wesker were complete opposites... But perhaps this Wesker had different tastes?
He remembered how Wesker would always be in the usual all black attire. The entire get-up struck fear into the team. If anyone saw Wesker wearing all black, they would probably never want to get to know him. Maybe it would do the man good to wear a bit of color this time around?
He rummaged through the closet and pulled out a pink rabbit costume, eyes beaming blue and ears adorned with Holly, "Hey, try this one!"
Wesker grabbed the outfit, stared at Chris, "... seriously?"
Chris then remembered something, "Come on Wes, I got a plan."
"Is it a ZOMBIE plan?" Wesker responded.
"Would you expect anything less of me?" Chris let out a hefty laugh and slapped his knee.
He frowned, and looked up at Wesker, "What do you remember? You know... about your life?"
Wesker looked back, and seemed to be deep in thought, "... The Men in Black... Part one AND two..."
Chris nodded in agreement, "... good shit man... good shit..."
Kioni frowned, "You're both wasting my life..."
The two men stared at her, and began to laugh.
"HAHAHAHAHA-Not funny..." she responded, switching moods in a split second.
Wesker tilted his head to one side, "Protect? ... From... who?"
He honestly had no clue what on earth could be threatening Chris. He was scared of the man; he looked very tough with his muscles. He thought he could beat anyone up easily. Who could be stronger than him? Who could scare such a tough looking guy like Chris?
"... The boogyman," Chris answered, looking away from Wesker.
The door then opened, snapping Wesker out of his trance. He turned his head, and spotted the silhouette of a feminine build. He listened for her breathing patterns, the soft trending on the carpet, occasionally transitioning to the clicking of heels.
'Jill?'
Jill cleared her throat, and sat down on the toilet cover, "Chris," She began, "We need to talk..."
Wesker tilted his head to the side, 'Chris?'
Jill continued, "It's... about Wesker..."
Wesker quickly opened the shower curtains, face completely serious, "WHAT ABOUT ME!"
Jill shrieked, and ran out of the bathroom, as Wesker laughed at the scene. Jill laughed as well from the scare. Kioni sighed and just... let it happen.
CHAPTER 7- these are my confessions...
"These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man, I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give part 2 of my
Confessions-"
"HOLD UP! What the hell guys!" Kioni shouted through the speaker phone, cutting off the cast of the story from their Usher singing moment, "The chapter may be named "These are my Confessions, but I didn't mean it like the damn song!"
The crew stared at her... looked at each other, gave a shrug, and split off to study their scripts.
Wesker didn't know what to say, the only thing he did was stand there. He first wondered why Jill would be in the bathroom with another male. Males and Females weren't supposed to be in the bathroom together... right? Next, How could Jill mistake him for Chris? Obviously, his stature was much more poised, and he was less bulky of course... and his height compared to that of Chris? Wesker was much taller! Surely Jill knew her partner better than to mistake him for Wesker?
'Though... I could use this to my advantage...'
"Jill," He began, speaking in a deep stalkerish voice, "Do you like scary movies?"
"Chris?"
Chris turned from the sofa, and looked up into her blue eyes, then smiled, "Hey Jill! Cheaters is on! Wanna watch it with me?"
Jill stared in confusion.
"Chris?"
Chris turned from the sofa, and looked up into her blue eyes, then smiled, "Hey Jill! Baby birthing is on! Wanna watch it with me?"
Jill stood there mortified.
"Chris?"
Chris turned from the sofa, and looked up into her blue eyes, then smiled, "Hey Jill! Powerpuffgirls is on! Wanna watch it with me?"
Jill eyed him questionably.
Jill sighed and lazily spoke, "Chris?"
Chris turned from the sofa, and looked up into her blue eyes, then smiled, "Hey Jill! Wanna make out?"
"CUT! WTF GUYS!" Kioni shouted onto the set.
Jill and Chris broke out laughing.
(Kudos to those who get where this is referenced from :D )
Jill turned to meet his gaze, her face was quite red, "You!"
Wesker cocked his head to one side, "...Me?"
Without warning, she slapped him cleanly across the face, making his head jerk to the side.
"Jill!," Chris shouted, "You slapped Wesker!"
"I slapped a douche!"
Kioni Facepalmed again.
Then, he heard a melody. Soft and sweet, but he didn't know from where.
The sound traveled across the air,
piercing every corner of the house.
He heard it clearly, and he knew that it wasn't from a mouse.
Standing up from the couch,
His stance began to slouch-
I CAN BE THE NEXT DR SEUSS! :D
"Just get on with it, Woman..." Wesker sighed.
Kioni grumbled, "But when you guys start to fool around its ok... i see how it is..."
She flipped through the pages, studying the individual notes. She grew frustrated, erasing note indications here, and placing some there. Wesker supposed that she was practicing.
"You suck," He said.
Rebecca frowned.
"These indicate a forte note, which means loud," Rebbecca began to explain as she fingered through a piano book, "and these, are soft."
Wesker eyed the book curiously, "It says 'Piano'..."
Rebbecca let out a small nervous laugh, "That's because 'piano' translates into 'Soft' in Italian. The Piano's entire name is 'Pianoforte', which literally means 'soft loud'."
... Little did the readers know the author, Kioni Yuki, just bullshitted all that fancy piano crap just to seem smart- JK LOLOLOLOLOLOL!1!1! SMILEY FACE she actually knows what she's doing! :D But its confusing crap, ain't it?
Rebecca eyed Kioni, "... Can we continue the scene now?"
"Yeah ok," The author responded.
Chris quickly caught up to his partner, hand outstretched to grasp hers, "Jill, wait!"
"No! Just go!" She responded, swiftly moving her hand away and picking up her pace.
She was always like this when angry, when truly angry. Jill was a stubborn woman, although she tries to hide it in front of others. Chris, on various occasions, has witnessed her stubbornness before. Usually it was for small things, like paying for lunch, or offering to drive, or even to carry her bag; And from the looks of it, Chris could tell that she was willing to hold up a grudge against him. How could he let their friendship slip so far?
"Jill, please, just listen to me-"
"I always have to listen to you!" She snapped back, turning to meet his face.
Chris sighed, "I know! But, I just wanted to tell you... I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to Gieco..."
Jill looked at him, suddenly swooning and falling into his arms, "Oh Chris!"
They both then began to laugh, while the author stared blankly.
"Chris, there are only three people who use the main floor's bathroom! You, Me, and Becca, that's it! How do you expect me to suddenly know Wesker would be a fourth?"
Chris held her close and looked deep into her eyes, "Because we're hardcore like that... you know you like it."
Jill looked away dramatically, "Chris no! Not in front of the children!"
Kioni stared, jaw dropped, "WHAT THE HELL!"
How could I push her away like I did?'
He then shoved her aside as he needed the space to think- oh wait, THATS how...
"Did any of you see Wesker?" Chris asked, feeling a small tinge of panic.
"I saw him walking down the hallway," Wilfredo responded in his slight Spanish accent.
"The hallway? What for?" came Jill, looking out the door and into the kitchen.
The Spanish man shrugged.
"Oh, well you're no help! Go back to eating your burritos and tacos!" Jill shouted, trying to keep a straight face but failing.
Wilfredo stared, but then laughed along with Chris.
"That was cold, Jill... very racist..." Kioni shook her head, feeling the racism herself for being part spanish.
Chris followed her down to the end of the hall, where the music then became louder. Jill slowly opened the door, and just as it cracked open, Chris spotted Rebbecca standing next to the piano, eyes widened and mouth gaping. Jill quickly froze in place. If Rebecca wasn't playing the piano... then... who is?
Suddenly, he saw the zombified corpse of Beethoven playing the piano, bloodying up the keys with his rotting fingers. Chris and Jill stared in confusion, then spotted Wesker standing in the corner, holding up a syringe. He chuckled evilly and watched the zombie musician play like his personal dancing monkey.
The beginning started off beautifully, though as she progressed, he noted how she was a bit slower than the original music sheet. Even so, everyone admired her skill, even Wesker. He began to read a bit ahead, and readied to join in. As he did, he felt everyone's stare shift in his direction, as he picked up the pace of the music. And though he effortlessly played every note perfectly, Jill showed signs of struggle. He began to slow down and reach her pace.
She glared at him, and played in the right tempo. He knew it was a sign, telling him that she didn't need his symphony- I MEAN- Sympathy! Yeah, that...
(It's easy to guess where I got THIS from :D )
"Hey," Chris said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "It's not your fault, ok?"
Wesker smiled slightly, "No, it is my fault." He then collapsed onto the ground, "I DID MY BEST! I DID MY BEST! YOU HEAR ME DOOR KICKER!"
Chris bursted out laughing.
"Chris, why is everyone staring at me?"
Pedestrians walking nearby would stare at Wesker intently. Their faces in shock, fear, or sometimes even in disgust.
"It's because you're wearing a pink frilly dress, Wesker," Chris responded, eyeing the man's wardrobe.
"Oh," The blond said looking down, "I thought so..."
ll Wesker could see in his mind, was a bright white light blinding him, only allowing him to see the figures of the men, their white lab coats almost blending in with the strong ray. Their voices muffled, but he could make out some of the very few words they've spoken. W013... impressive... Spencer... And that was all he could really make out. It was a very strange and somewhat disturbing memory.
He quickly turned to his friend, grasping at his shirt, "Chris, was I raised in a whore house as a child?"
Chris looked grim, "Yes Wesker... I'm sorry."
The men stared at each other seriously for a brief moment, then Chris smirked, and they both began to laugh.
He stopped mid-sentence, only to find that Wesker was nowhere near him. His heart leapt, and panic as well as fear swept over him. Eyes widened, he ran out of the store- He slammed into the glass door, and fell backwards onto the ground.
The woman behind the counter stood up quickly and ran towards him, "OMG ARE YOU OK!" she said between laughs.
Chris tried not to laugh, but the pain made him laugh anyways, "Y-yeah."
Everyone behind set bursted out laughing at Chris' misfortune.
Wesker had to focus to do so first. Nothing could draw his attention away from the goal at hand. He needed to stay on track and stop thinking so much-
'Victoria's Secret?'
This Victoria woman surely had a secret, the secret to having such an inviting, captivating, provocative, sensuous, voluptuous-
"OH GET IT OVER WITH!" Kioni shouted from her director's chair.
...body :D
The author facepalmed, "Men..."
The girl took his hand and began walking in said direction, "Ok! I'll help you find him! Mommy always says it's not good getting lost!"
"Does she also tell you not to trust strangers?"
The girl shook her head, "no."
"I can tell."
"Chris," Wesker began, turning to face the brunette, "Why do women like slapping me?"
Chris patted his back, "Oh, no reason..." He eyed the note tapped to Wesker's back reading 'Slap Me'.
Ok! Quick blooper chappie!
I don't know if they're funny, I'm sorry if they're not, PLEASE DONT SET ME ON FIRE LIKE I DO MY FRIENDS- I mean... whoa... You didn't hear that! :D
Anyways, time to get started on the next chapter! ... :LAZY: