Do You? Chapter 10: You've Been on My Mind, a gossip girl fanfic

This chapter is kind of a long filler chapter. Sorry! It features a bunch of flashbacks in Dan's POV. The flashbacks go way back to Dan's first development of his feelings for Blair to flashbacks as recent as his conversation with Sienna regarding Serena (I've indicated these flashbacks). It might be a bit confusing and jumpy, but I'll try to make it as easy to understand as possible. Some flashbacks are moments from the show, others are just my views. These flashbacks give insight to how bad Blair burned him and his current predicament in his thoughts, actions, and subconscious reactions. There are only mentions of Serena in this chapter, but the next will have a Blerena face-off. So stoked for that chapter! Also in that chapter, a couple will make an appearance in Paris to be Dan's sounding board.

I read a review that was displeased with my portrayal of Chuck and the handling of Audrey's situation. I'm sorry if it has offended anyone. I've gone back and read it over, and I may have come across as uncaring… but I do though. I've never gone through that kind of situation myself, so I'm trying to work the angle as best as I can. I've read it over but did not make any changes because that is what I felt in the moment and I don't like changing those moments, normally.

Sidenote: I like my readers to learn more about me, so I may put a sidenote for each chapter, unless everyone is annoyed… then I'll scrap that idea. I felt like I needed to share this though. I had a really strange dream, but before I tell it I must say that I like Ed Westwick. I like Chuck when separated from Blair but his whispering is seriously creepy at times. To be honest, I was a Chair shipper… until the hotel fiasco… then I aborted ship. Anyways, for those around the world who watch or have watched WWE – I dreamt that Chuck was Batista Bombed by Batista, AA'd (or FU'd – I like that way better) by John Cena, then RKO'd and punted by Randy Orton. To top it off, Chuck was kicked in the groin by Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Maria, and Mickie James. I don't know why I dreamt that but I found a certain satisfaction from it.

Song lyrics in this chapter: "I Want You" – Andrew Allen, "Let Me Love You" – Mario, "Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)" – Ne-Yo, "Lego House" – Ed Sheeran, "Loving You Tonight" – Andrew Allen, "Lie to Me" – George, "Fallout" – Marianas Trench, "Talking to the Moon" – Bruno Mars (similar to "It Will Rain"), and "A Little Too Not Over You" – David Archuleta

Thankfully, I don't own the terribleness that is GG! But I do own the mistakes in this chapter and story! Enjoy and R&R as always plz!

The morning light shone bright and early through the drapes today. This blinding light awoke Dan, much to his chagrin. After a few groggy attempts, Dan finally ended up in an upright position but quickly realized he was not in familiar surroundings. He was not in his comfortable bed with the warmth of Sienna sleeping soundly against him. Instead, Dan apparently slept on a cool leather pull out couch with a fort of blankets around him.

Throwing the blankets off to the side, without much care, Dan stood up – a little too suddenly – and was struck with a ferocious sting to his head.

"Here, take these."

Wordlessly, the writer took the aspirin and glass of water from the outreached hand.

"Brady, how the hell did I end up sleeping on your couch?"

"You honestly don't remember Dan? Well, you were pretty plastered so I don't blame you. From what I understood from your slurring early this morning, you and Sienna had a fight. You left to get drinks at the pub… without me by the way… and showed up here around two in the morning drunk as fuck. I'm surprised you even got here with barely a scratch in the shape you were in! Evangeline felt pity seeing you like that so she let you crash here so you wouldn't go fuck up the streets. You bitched on the couch for a bit then you just dropped."

"Wow. I really need to go buy your wife a gift for her hospitality."

"Look, I don't know what you and Sienna were arguing about, although I have my theories, but both of you need to calm down and work it out. Give her some space for a few hours today, but not long… then go fix this. Use these hours to fix yourself up first because you look and smell like shit, buddy."

"Haha" Dan replys dryly.

"Evangeline's waiting for me downstairs. She and I are leaving for some errands, so you have the place to yourself for a while. I do not want you drinking anything that will give you buzz while we are gone, that includes mouth wash! Here's my key, lock-up when you leave."

Grabbing his jacket from the hook, Brady was headed out and only turned around when Dan called out his name.

"Thanks."

Giving Dan a simple nod of understanding, Brady shut the door behind him. Dan was left standing alone in the kitchen with a headache, with only his buzzed thoughts to keep him company.

Dan shut the drapes; it was too early for him to enjoy the day's golden beams – which, as writer – would give him devices to describe a certain blonde.

After taking a refreshing shower, the moppy-headed man felt rejuvenated and ready to conquer the day. Fixing himself a generous amount of cereal, he ate eat in peaceful silence, with the exception of the crunching of his Frosted Flakes.

For the hours he spent in his friend's house, Dan's mind was on overload as he volleyed back between memories and thoughts of his past and present.

Flashback – Argument with Sienna

After "catching up" with Serena, Sienna and I dropped her off safely at her hotel. Though the car ride from Serena's hotel to our condo was not far – like Sienna previously mentioned – the drive seemed to drag on forever. We were silent. I didn't want to yell and she was probably thinking of the right words to say.

The situation blew up rather quickly as soon as we stepped inside the condo. I couldn't contain myself any longer.

"Tell me about you and Serena. Everything. And I want the truth."

"Like I told you Dan, Serena and I have been old friends. I did not tell you that I knew her because I knew how irate you were with her when you last mentioned her. But I felt like I had to bring her here now to help mend your issues. Please Dan, we are getting married. You have to know I did not mean to upset you more, but I just felt…"

"What? You felt to control the state of my relationships with certain people. You want to fix mine with Serena so you can have a friend back in your life or to remind me of the toxicity of the Upper East Side and somehow cut my ties with Blair because you feel threatened?"

"For the last time Dan this is not –"

"Don't you dare say this isn't about Blair! The more you try to deny it isn't, the more obvious it becomes that you are insecure and feel threatened by her mere presence around me."

"How can I not? I noticed the way you gazed at her at the coffee house, don't try to deny that! Even now, after all this time, you look at her with the same eyes as you did when you wrote about her… the good and the bad. In Inside, you wrote about Clair's scent of Chanel No. 5 right down to the minute detail; don't tell me that it's just a coincidence that Blair's Chanel No. 5 smells just like the description in the novel."

"I feel nothing for Blair! We are not even friends! We are just names separated by a conjunction or punctuation marks. But Sienna, stop trying to change the subject! Serena. Now."

Serena went to Connecticut to escape her mistakes. Sienna travelled from Italy to explore the American culture and had relatives in Cornwall. They went to Knightly together. They became fast friends. Serena, the blonde bombshell contrasted well with Sienna, the spunky red-head. They travelled to Italy and attended fashion shows. They flirted with boys in Connecticut. Serena never mentioned Blair or Nate. Sienna would always mention finding an amazing Italian man to marry one day.

She went on to say that she began to distance herself from Serena during her drug stage. Sienna tried to help Serena see what was happening to her… but was fed up. They lost contact. Sienna travelled back home to Italy. Serena returned to New York. Life went on. They tried to reach out to one another on a few occasions… and eventually they reconnected.

When I came into Sienna's life, Serena was pleased to hear her old friend found someone. That someone being me. When Serena learnt it was me, she was happy that I found happiness without Blair. Apparently Serena believed Sienna is the most suitable candidate for happiness.

How was I not aware of any of this? I felt like I was seeing another side of Sienna, listening to adventures she experienced with Serena that she failed to mention at any point of our relationship.

I couldn't bear all of this info being bombarded at me. I needed to leave. I needed a drink…badly. After more of a screaming match, I snatched a coat and pulled a disappearing act.

End flashback

So that's how Dan ended up crashing at Brady's place.

Flashback – Internship at W

Walking into my new internship thanks to Lily, I was unsure of what to expect. Certainly W was not a top listing for an internship in my books, but it was an internship nonetheless. I would be able to add new talents to my repertoire while showcasing my talent for writing. W is neither Condé Nast nor Simon and Schuster Publications but it is still highly regarded.

I know to "expect the unexpected" like the motto Big Brother is known for but stepping into the office I barely saw the minion-esque wannabes as all I saw was Blair Waldorf. She wore the same ghastly look of annoyance and shock I was.

Oh. This was going to be interesting.

During our internship at W, Blair and I were marking our territory in this industry by one-upping each other. She would put Chanel No. 5 in Epperly's (our boss) coffee that was made by the other interns; I would nonchalantly walk in with my version of a mind-blowing cup of coffee while Blair would glare from afar. We'd fight over a STAPLER and she'd win because she mentioned Milo, but really, I just let her win. Though I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she did know how to staple, I assumed Dorota took charge of that duty. I practically made Blair's eyeballs pop out of their sockets even, with my newfound knowledge and appreciation for women's designer heels.

We eventually got fired from our internships, after making a mockery of ourselves at a gala. I nobly helped Blair regain her position because I felt guilty, only for her to quit because she was overly stressed.

Throughout this whole ordeal that started out as us battling against each other, she and I ended up as better friends. Best friends even. Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey – best friends. Maybe, just maybe… even more than friends.

No! That was not a thought I was willing to dwell on. Although, throughout those days Blair and I were undermining one another, I started to get these faint thoughts about her. Sometimes even physically, when I was around her… something felt different. It was odd yet welcoming. These were only fleeting thoughts however; c'mon this is Blair Waldorf we are talking about! She was Queen B, after all!

But these moments I felt never disappeared. They seemed to be manifesting as time went on.

End flashback

I don't wanna wait for tomorrow cause tonight
I keep playing this over in my mind
I shoulda kissed you but I missed
Am I out of time

Because I never thought that you might leave me behind
And I'm hoping that I get one more try
I shoulda kissed you but I missed
Am I out of time

I never wanna be the one to say
How could I let you slip away
And I'm never gonna watch you fall apart
I shoulda told you from the start
And I'm late but now I'm running
Please wait for me I'm coming
Never gonna wait another day
I finally found the words to say
I want you [x3]

Cause when you look at me I know you feel it too
And your eyes keep telling me maybe there's room
You shoulda kissed me did you miss
That I wanted you ooh

And I never wanna be the one to say
How could I let you slip away
And I'm never gonna watch you fall apart
I shoulda told you from the start
And I'm late but now I'm running
Please wait for me I'm coming
Never gonna wait another day
I finally found the words to say
I want you

If you wait if you wait for me I'll finally say
What you mean what you mean to me ooh
Will you wait will you wait for me
Cause I'm on my way I'm on my way

Cause I don't wanna wait for tomorrow
Cause tonight I keep playing this over in my mind
I shoulda kissed you but I missed
Am I out of time

Dan violently shook that memory away. He started falling for Blair Waldorf, though he would never acknowledge that at the time. He knew it was stupid, but his feelings couldn't be helped. Those feelings brought him joy, but for the most part they only brought him pain time and time again.

Mmmm ... Mmmmm... Yeah...Mmmmm...Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Mmmm...Yeah...Mmmm... Yeah, Yeah

Baby I just don't get it
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories
You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night, doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts
You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame
Don't even know what you're worth
Everywhere you go they stop and stare
Cause you're bad and it shows
From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Ooh Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me...

You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)
We should be together girl (baby)
With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!
So can we make this thing ours?

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be

Baby you should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
That good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Good love and protection(protection)
Make me your selection(selection)
Show you the way love's supposed to be yeah

Let me love you that's all you need baby

Flashback – Cut on Blair's cheek

When I learnt a piece of glass cut Blair's cheek, indirectly caused by Chuck's fist, I wanted to beat Chuck and then hurl. Who does that to someone they claim to love? Who does that to someone in general?

Blair didn't tell me… she was too afraid to. I had an inkling of suspicion and filled in the bits and pieces that Blair would occasionally let slip. I found those little slips to be alarming to me because Blair Waldorf was not one to let something just slip from her mouth; she was very tight-lipped when it comes to her own issues.

I didn't press her further on the matter however.

But as I sat on the couch at the loft with Blair snuggled next to me as we watched The Philadelphia Story, I couldn't focus on the movie at all. I just kept thinking about her situation with Chuck. It wasn't love. It wasn't even morally right. If only I could open her eyes to see what love should be?

By the time the credits rolled, Blair was already down for the count; her head leaning against my shoulder as she breathed in and out and dreamt of her fairytale with Chuck. I was lulled to a sound sleep by her breathing, the scent of Chanel No. 5 invading my nostrils, and my thoughts of loving Blair Waldorf.

End flashback

Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel
Had no example of a love that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had?
Ooh, baby, if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid, girl let me help
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
A heart of numbness gets brought to life
I'll take you there

Girl let me love you
Girl let me love you, baby, oh
Girl let me love you
Girl let me love you, baby
Girl let me love you
Let me love you, let me love you, oh

I can see the pain behind your eyes
It's been there for quite a while
I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile
I would like to show you what true love can really do

Girl let me love you, baby
Girl let me love you
Let me love you, let me love you, baby
Girl let me love you
Girl let me love you, baby
Girl let me love you
Let me love you, girl let me love you, baby

For every heart that beats
For every heart that beats
For every heart that beats
For every heart that beats
Heart that beats
Heart that beats
Heart that beats
Heart that beats

Girl let me love you
Let me love you, baby, love you, baby
Girl let me love you
Let me love you babe, love you babe, ooh-ooh-ah

Flashback – Blair's Pregnancy

"Could you ever love another man's child?"

That was the question Blair posed to me.

My thoughts immediately ran back to my summer with Georgina and Milo. Though I learnt Milo was not mine biologically, I still loved him like he was my own; I knew in my heart he was.

"Yes."

I had been Blair's friend that was just lurking in the backdrop of her suitors for a while now. I'm becoming sick of it! But I guess I'm a true sadist in nature because I'd rather be just a lonely friend in her life than have her without mine.

She came to me with her most pressing problems. I understood her to a level no one else could possibly achieve or imagine.

Blair was pregnant. She was happy. There was one problem though. She had no clue whether the father was Louis, her fiancé and the Prince of Monaco or the love of her life, Chuck Bass.

Whatever happened to the paternity and the aftermath because of it, I promised Blair Waldorf one thing:

"You'll always have me."

End flashback

I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
And build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down

My three words have two meanings,
There's one thing on my mind
It's all for you

And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you get down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

I'm gonna paint you by numbers
And colour you in
If things go right we can frame it and put you on a wall

And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
Now I'll surrender up my heart
And swap it for yours

Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking, and it's more than I can take

And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you get down
And out of all these things I've done I will love you better now

Making that promise to Blair Waldorf was something Dan Humphrey wanted to forget so badly for the years to come in his life.

Flashback – Feeding the ducks

Strolling down the duck pond, hand-in-hand – with the other hand held loaves of bread – Blair and I were on our way to feeding the ducks. Feeding the ducks had been therapeutic for Blair since she was a little girl whenever she dealt with a problem. It was Blair's favorite past-time…and by extension… mine, as well.

After sometime, I took a break and sat on the bench just observing in awe at Blair. She was attractive physically, emotionally, and mentally. Blair was a total 180° of Serena, which is why we meshed so well.

We've come a long way from despising each other to calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend.

I haven't said 'I love you' yet, but I plan to soon. I believe you should wait for the right time and right person to say those words to. I feel like that time is coming shortly. I don't like to be to forward like Serena at times, but I also don't want to hold out on someone for months like Blair and Chuck had. If I feel it then I have to express it; I am a writer after all!

As crazy and cliché as it sounds… I can really see myself having a meaningful future with Blair Waldorf!

Our future would go something like this:

I'll say "Hey!"
She'll say "Baby, how's your day?"
I'll say "Crazy!"
But it's all going to be alright
She'll kiss my smile
I'll pull her closer
Spend a while just getting to know her
I'll love her tonight

End flashback

Lost in the day, in a way, it's same as the one before this,
And I wish I could say that's it's all black and white
But it's grey. It's the same, it's the same and I'm so tired
But you are what I'm coming home to

Oh and I'm thinking about a red wine buzz and takin' it easy,
And I got you in my arms, takin' a break from crazy

And I'll say "hey!"
You'll say "baby, how's your day?"
I'll say "crazy"
But it's all gonna be alright
You'll kiss my smile
I'll pull you closer
Spend a while just getting to know ya
But it's gonna be all alright
I'm loving you tonight
Loving you tonight

And you are there on my heart at the start of my every morning
And I can't deny by the end of the day that I'm running on empty
But you make me full, steal my breath
You're so unpredictable
That's what I'm coming home to

Oh I'm dreaming about a romance, slow dancing with you
When I got you in arms, I don't care what we do

Every day is just the in-between
The hours separating you from me
I know you'll be waiting
I know that you'll be waiting

Yes, that's the future Dan planned out for Blair and himself. Well… the future didn't pan out as he'd thought. His failed future is a thought that seems to creep up at the most unexpected and unwanted of times; he's tried to erase it but his writer's habits always lead him back to the "what ifs" of life.

Why didn't I listen to my heart
When she had me guessin' from the start
More and more I wonder
Why do I still want her
After all the love I gave to you
All this pain and all because of you

What am I supposed to do
When it's all a lie
Where am I supposed to go
When it's dark outside
What am I supposed to do
When it's all a lie
Lie to me [6X]

One last time

Still had those letters from last fall
And every time the phone rings
Wish it was your call
More and more I wonder
Why do I still want her
After all the love I gave to you
All this pain I'm in because of you

What am I supposed to do
When it's all a lie
Where am I supposed to go
When it's dark outside
What am I supposed to do
When it's all a lie
Lie to me [6X]
One last time

Why did you have to hurt (to hurt)
Loved you for all your lies (your lies)
One thing I know is true
I'll never stop
Lovin' you (lovin' you)
So tell me

What am I supposed to do
When it's all a lie
Where am I supposed to go
When it's dark outside
What am I supposed to do
When it's all a lie
Won't you lie to me lie to me baby
Lie to me lie to me baby
Won't you lie to me baby
One last time

Flashback – The Break-Up? (If you can even call it that)

It happened. Our time was up. I was being delusional, as usual.

I knew Blair would choose Chuck over me, I expected that much, but damn, I'd I least thought she'd sit me down and tell me to my face. I didn't expect her to be such a cowardice, sending me apologetic emails and phone messages. Ha! I'd never thought I'd say those words in the same sentence… Blair Waldorf and coward!

I gave her an ultimatum in my loft just hours ago… she wanted to be with me; I had her heart… at least for the moment.

Chuck and Blair on that damn rooftop. Thanks for giving me the truth Gossip Girl, when the one person I expect it from doesn't!

I guess you could say we broke up! Did we break-up?

I honestly don't know where we stand but I would not classify this moment as a decent break-up.

I was supposed to spend the summer in Rome with Blair by my side. What the fuck happened?

Chuck Bass – 'nuff said.

I'm at the Shepard's party. I had a few drinks. I just fucked Serena.

The UES is toxic; I understand that as clear as day now. They've fucked me over multiple times so it's about time to return the favor, ten-fold.

I will make the most out of my writer's retreat in Rome. I will single-handedly ruin the UES with a scathing tell-all novel. My two greatest resources being: Gossip Girl and Georgia Sparks.

Serena thinks that I'm only in love with Clair, the idolized version of Blair.

Before, I was so sure that I wasn't. Now? Now, I'm not sure about anything. Those lines have been blurred, indefinitely.

Maybe I was only in love with Clair the whole time… or maybe not? Who knows? Who cares?

I don't know the answers to any of those questions but maybe the answers lie at the bottom of this near empty bottle of Jack Daniels that I'm drowning.

End flashback

An empty room,
I'm empty too
And everything reminds me of you
So many things
I shouldn't have missed
The more that I push
And the more you resist
It's easy to say it's for the best
When you want more
While you leave me with less

I know you're fine, but what do I do?
I know you're fine, but what do I do?

I'm awake, and trying
While you're sleeping like a babe
Beside him
I'm on the ledge while you're so
God damn polite and composed
And I know you see me,
And you're making it look so easy
What comes and goes,
I'd go without

I know you're fine but what about
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)
You're the fallout

Well now there's him,
And now there's me
The secrets you give
And the secrets you keep
And nevertheless
It's never you let
The more that I give
And the less that I get
Don't tell me to fight,
To fight for you
After this long, I shouldn't have to

I know you're fine, but what do I do?
I know you're fine, but what do I do?
I'm awake, and trying
While you're sleeping like a babe
Beside him
I'm on the ledge while you're so
God damn polite and composed
And I know you see me,
And you're making it look so easy
What comes and goes,
I'd go without

I know you're fine but what about
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)

I know you're fine but what about
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)
You're the fallout

I know you're fine, but what do I do?
I know you're fine, but what do I do?

I know you're fine but what about
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)

I know you're fine but what if I
(Fallout)
I'm awake, and trying
While you're sleeping like a babe
Beside him (Fallout)
I'm on the ledge while you're so
God damn polite and composed

(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout) FALLOUT (fallout)
FALLOUT

Flashback – Release of Cast Out

The UES is rocked to the core. All because of Cast Out. All because of my book.

I've become the most sought-after novelist.

I've given 50 Shades of Grey a run for its money.

Critics and fans love me all the same.

UES residents however, do not.

I've been exiled from the UES. I don't care.

I'm famous, the talk of the town.

I've won accolades.

I've gone on book tours.

I've gotten a steady cash flow.

I've been interviewed on numerous occasions.

I've been interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.

There is talk of a movie adaptation. Hopefully no Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart.

Blair has moved on.

Well, she's moved on long before I had though.

Wasn't she the spearhead to Cast Out to begin with?

I know she hates me because of the way her character flips from Inside to Cast Out.

Chuck… Chuck's hatred is indifferent to me.

Serena, she's been off the grid.

Nate and Eric are still my buddies, though I haven't spoken to either in a long time.

I wish I was still friends with Vanessa.

My dad and Lily are on opposing sides, much to Bart's delight.

Jenny, Jenny is still in Hudson with mom, where it is the safest.

I sometimes look up at the moon from my window and still think about Blair Waldorf.

With some of my anger towards her subsiding, I still manage to wish her happiness.

I've moved away to Paris, with Sienna.

I'm writing different stories because of a different muse.

I've moved on.

Eventually, so does everyone else.

End flashback

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I had
You're all I had

At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon.
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or Am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

Ohoooo...

I'm feeling like
I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
Yeah
I've gone mad
But they don't know
What I know
Cause when the
Sun goes down
Someone's talking back
Yeah
They're talking back
Ohhh

At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the moon.
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...
Do you ever hear me calling
(Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...)
Ho hou ho ho hou

'Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon

Still trying to get to you
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

Ohoooo...

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

Present

Dan's had enough of all these memories flooding his head. He needs to get out and about. He needs to fix things with Sienna. He loves her way too much to let her go so easily the way Blair had let him go.

Taking out his phone, Dan dialed a number he hadn't called for ages now. It began to ring and Dan was concerned the other end wasn't going to pick-up, but he was proven wrong.

"Hey, it's Dan."

"Hey, man! It's been forever!"

"I know." Taking his hand out of his jeans pocket, Dan scratched the back of his head in nervousness, a habit he still does.

"I know this is random and last minute, but can you somehow get to Paris, like ASAP? I really need you man."

"I'll see what I can do."

Hanging up the phone and grabbing Brady's key to lock-up, Dan was headed out the door, until he managed to trip over something.

It was a pile of Brady's dirty clothes.

Dan laughed as his friend was so reminiscent of himself and pushed the stack of clothes to the side. As he did this, a scene was flashed in his mind.

The letter. Blair's letter.

Dan remembered. It must have slipped into his pile of dirty laundry as he hastily left after seeing Blair!

Speaking to himself, Dan says, "Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside and I turn around. You're with Chuck. I just can't figure it out. Tell me why you're so hard to forget Blair Waldorf. Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth. I guess I'm just a little too not over you."

Dan rushed out, knowing there would now be a dual purpose to return home.

Oohhhh oh, oh..

It never crossed my mind at all.
It's what I tell myself.
What we had has come and gone.
You're better off with someone else.
It's for the best, I know it is.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside,
And I turn around.
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you...

Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.

Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah...
Now I'm on my own..
How I let you go, I'll never understand.
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
And I really don't know what to do.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you, oohhh..