As they moved through the aisles of weaponry, she allowed her feet to drag, taking a slow pace. Garrus followed closely behind her, sighing every now and then, surely growing impatient with the rate at which they walked. It wasn't that she couldn't move faster; it was more that she was fairly sure she was just getting them both lost among the shelving units. She tried to concentrate on where she was going but found herself distracted by the turian looming over her right shoulder. Her mind rushed with broken and blurred thoughts that bounced between directions to the parts they were looking for and all the questions she wanted to ask him while she had him alone.

The typically musty, stale air in the warehouse had been unfortunate before, although now that Garrus was around, it was proving to be more of a problem than an inconvenience. The anxiety swelling at the bottom of her stomach made it hard enough to breath, mixing that with the low quality oxygen could probably push her to the edge of fainting. She just needed to buckle down, find the part, and get him out of the building. She took a moment to berate herself for allowing this to happen; she should have just said that they didn't have the damned thing and that he ought to leave.

After what seemed like an eternity of wandering to the very back of the warehouse, they finally reached the shelf that she was looking for, although she had forgotten that the pallet that held the mods had been hoisted onto a higher shelf that started a few feet above their heads. She ground her teeth together while looking desperately down the aisle for a ladder or something that could hold her weight. Giving up, she took a moment to stare at the pallet and analyze whether or not she could pull herself up. She had been considering her options when Garrus' voice cut through the silence.

"I don't suppose that is what we're looking for?" he said, pointing up at the pallet.

"Yeah, it is. If we have what you need, it's up there. Usually we have a ladder around here though. . ." she trailed off as she gave the area another once-over, hoping that a second look would reveal what she needed.

"Hmmm. . ." he mumbled.

She took a moment to look up at him, allowing herself to reflect on how much she missed him while he looked up at the out of reach supplies. He was standing right in front of her, hand on his chin and head turned to the side just like he used to do when he was thinking. Despite everything, she couldn't help but be glad that he was here; alive and well.

The moment was bittersweet as she fought with indecision and the reflective thoughts running through her head slowly brought her back to reality. Her stomach turned as she was reminded that they were now separated because of the decisions she had made. Venris always reinforced his support of her choices but over the weeks she had come to condemn herself as a coward. She was certain Garrus would be ashamed of her. She felt as though there was nothing that she could do. He was fine, and at this point that was what mattered. If she told him who she was she would just cause more damage. After all, who was to say that he would still love her after everything she had done? Sure, the Reapers were gone and the universe was theoretically saved but he had given her an order. She watched him wondering exactly how empty his galaxy was without her. Her eyebrows furrowed as her body froze in an attempt to remain in control of herself. She'd told him he'd never be alone and yet here she stood; way too deep into a lie to turn around. Her resolve resolidified as she embraced her undeniable betrayal; he was better off without her.

"Well . . ." he drawled as he looked down at her, "you seem small enough; I can just give you a boost."

She could only manage a slow blink before he leaned down and interlocked his fingers in front of her. It was a harsh shift of events from her previous train of thought; she managed to let out an incoherent sentence while her feet shuffled awkwardly beneath her. She had just convinced herself to remain distanced, there was no way she could deal with physical contact. Even if it was just a hand on his shoulder, she knew that it would mean getting closer to him and she couldn't stand it.

He had grown impatient while she stood around, trying to find a reason to run from this situation, and decided to speak up, "C'mon lady, I've got to get moving," he grumbled. "Just try to not kick me on your way up."

Nodding repeatedly to herself as a form of encouragement, she began to move closer to him, her head reeling. Trying her best to look anywhere but directly at him, she reached out to place her hands on either side of his collar. She was too close now to ignore his familiar scent and she could feel her knees almost buckling as she lifted her left foot to place it in his hands. After what seemed like an effortless lift, she was able to grab a hold of the shelf and pull herself the rest of the way up. She was only a little more than two meters from the floor but as she looked back down a wave of dizziness took hold of her; even though she had never had an issue with heights, she tried to convince herself that the dizziness was from vertigo and not Garrus.

He called out to her, "You know what you're looking for, right?"

"Yeah, I think I've seen a few of those before," she said as she steadied herself. I bought the damned thing she thought to herself.

Wiping the sweat from her face and trying to regain control of her heartbeat, she looked at the pallet that held all of the mods. Regretfully, had on it only a single huge box that took up the entire pallet and went up her waist, in which all of the mods had simply been thrown into. This barely even qualified as organization but this was all they really had and there was nothing she could do about it. She sighed, placing her hands on her hips before grabbing at the edge of the box and leaning in to try and sort through the pile of equipment. She hadn't even been looking for a minute when she could just barely heard Garrus call up to her, "How's it going up there?"

Peering over the box, she yelled down to him, "Man, I just started looking. Could you give me five minutes?"

She watched as he paused to look down at his feet. He didn't say anything else and she turned back to her work. She sifted through the mods as quickly as she could, the metal tearing up her knuckles and peeling at her cuticles. By the time she found what she needed, she had dug her way to the bottom of the box and her hands were bleeding in half a dozen places.

"Ah, fuck. . ." she looked at the cuts as she stood up straight again, mod in hand.

"You okay up there?"

"Yeah," she said, sitting down on the shelf and letting her legs hang off of it, "is this one right?" She tossed the mod down to him and watched as he caught it. She couldn't help but notice how his eyes stayed on her for a few extra seconds before he looked down at the scope in his hand.

"This looks right. Thanks."

Letting her feet dangle from the shelving unit, she continued to observe him. He turned the mod in his hand, pulled the rifle from his back, and made the exchange. It was a vision seeing him work with a gun again even though it was a simple fix, the replacement scope was swapped without any effort at all. He lifted the gun up and checked the work. Nostalgia started to overwhelm her, she felt like she was drowning in it; she had missed her old life before but never so much as she did now.

"Are you going to stay up there all day?" he asked her without looking up from the rifle.

She smiled, a little lost in the moment, "I was thinking of it. The view isn't so bad."

There was a visible pause before he looked up at her, a small blush making its way across her face after realizing what she had just said. It was disheartening to see his response. Typically something like that would have earned a smile or a small laugh but his expression had turned to stone and she felt that she had pushed too far. It wasn't a game for him and she felt ashamed for even joking around. It could have been just a simple, split second lapse in judgement but it was scary to see how easily she forgot how much harm she had done.

With embarrassment and shame making its way through her system, she realized that this had gone on for far too long; she needed to leave. The smile fell from her face before she rolled over onto her stomach so she could make her way down from the rack. As she lowered herself to the floor she could feel her arms shaking as she tried to hold on before they gave out on her halfway down and she dropped the rest of the way. Stumbling a little bit, she could hear a few footsteps just before she felt a strong hand wrapping its way around her upper arm in an attempt to help steady her.

It wasn't until she had gotten her footing back and stood upright that she realized that there was still a hand wrapped around her arm. Looking at it, she realized how small she still was compared to what she used to be; his fingers wrapped around her upper arm with room to spare as they overlapped each other. Knowing that this contact couldn't last, she quickly pulled her arm free before taking a few steps backwards. Although he had let her go without any resistance, he continued to look at her as if there was a question on his mind.

She turned from him and began walking in the direction of the lobby again but instead of following her, he spoke up, "I know you from somewhere, don't I?"

Shit, she thought to herself, and this is where it gets ugly.

Turning back towards him she looked at his face and recognized the expression he had. He knew he was onto something and she would have to go on the offensive to keep him away. Trying to keep the panic from her voice, she aimed straight for the heart with the next sentence, "Um, I don't know," she shrugged, "Don't humans all look the same to other species anyways? You probably mixed me up with someone else." She knew the words would hurt him, but she hadn't anticipated the friendly fire. It tore her apart to have said something like that to him.

Straightening himself into a tall stance, she watched as his mandibles pulled in tightly to his face. Bullseye. There was a moment of silence before he made an obvious effort to relax before speaking again, "Ah, I remember now. You were there when we landed a few weeks ago. Aren't you friends with Venris or something?"

He wasn't letting up and as the conversation continued her options would dwindle. At the rate that they were going, she would be found out within the hour. Trying to deflect to his issues, she continued, "Aren't you in a hurry?" she spat at him as she folded her arms in front of her and leaned back on one hip, growing tired of his questions, "But yeah, I know Venris. What would it matter anyway, what's with the twenty questions?"

"Twenty questions? What's with all the hostility?" he asked as he paced closer, "There's just something about you that seems familiar, I didn't think it would hurt to ask." His face was motionless as he looked down at her.

She knew this look and it meant critical mission failure on her end. He was looking at her in a way that said she was now on his radar which was exactly what she didn't want. Her lips flattened out into a straight line as she tried to turn away nonchalantly to conceal the sheer panic running across her face. Looking at the ground she realized that defensive playing would have been the better option and now she had to try to shut him down. Never present Garrus Vakarian with a challenge.

"Well I'm sorry that you feel that way. . ." she said, "But I can't really help you." She blinked a few times before biting the inside of her cheek and looking up to him again to say, "We've never met before."

Seemingly at peace with her response, she watched as his mandibles gave a small twitch before he quickly looked away. They were simple words but she still felt like she had been too harsh, especially since she had just outright lied to him. She felt relieved that he had stopped asking her for the time being but she couldn't help but feel responsible for the disappointment etched across his face.

Leaving her behind, Garrus made his way back to the lobby. Eli watched after him for a little while before deciding to follow, fighting with herself at every step. She should have just let him leave, however, she couldn't keep herself from wanting to be around him; even if it caused nothing but trouble.

I'm just doing my job, she told herself, I'm making sure that he can find his way to the lobby.

It was a load of lies, to which she could just add to her ever growing pile of bullshit. The nagging at the back of her head wouldn't silence itself, especially when she walked past every opportunity to excuse herself from his presence. You're making it worse chanted through her head until she had followed Garrus through the lobby door, only to see Venris leaning at the counter.

The chanting then shifted to, Shit. She hadn't noticed how late it was getting.

Quickly looking at Garrus then back to Venris, she tried to figure out if escape was possible at this point; by the way Venris' mandibles pulled in tight to his face as he stood up straight she could tell that she was caught. Trying to relax her nerves, she told herself that she had nothing to explain and that Venris couldn't be upset with her.

"Eli," Venris' deep voice rang through the room, "I was wondering what was taking you so long." His eyes stayed glued to her as she moved into the lobby, staying a fairly safe distance from either of them.

Garrus had seemed completely unphased by the other turian in the room as he casually circled around the counter to stand in front of Venris, crossing his arms as he spoke. "Hey, Venris. Interesting seeing you here," Garrus started out, "What brings you around? I've never seen you carry any weapons."

After pausing for a split second Venris let out a chuckle before turning to Garrus, "Well you know that I was with the turian military. . ."

Watching as the two of them spoke, she found that she was having a hard time admitting that Venris had just chuckled, as she had never heard him even come close to letting out a laugh. The two of them continued to speak back and forth to each other and it slowly dawned on her that they appeared to be friends; she didn't know how she felt about that.

As their conversation dwindled Garrus turned back to her, "What do I owe you, Eli?"

Her eyes were fixed on Venris and she only spared him a glance as she answered, "No charge this time."

"Well thanks," he answered. "And thanks again, Venris, for getting my crew situated over in block six, I appreciate it." Reaching out to place a hand on Venris' shoulder, he gave it a light tap, nodded his head in her direction as a way of saying goodbye, and turned for the door.

Her mouth flattened into a flat line again as she looked up at Venris, angrily, "Block six, huh?"

*** Author's Notes ***

Bioware owns all, I claim to own nothing

For every day that passes, I realize just how much life wants to challenge you. It's amazing, really. I do so apologize for missing so many post dates, it's upsetting for me to not be able to deliver when I said that I would. My day job has become more demanding than I had ever thought possible and I've been sick more often than I have been healthy. Unfortunately, nothing looks to be willing to let up, so my posting schedule has to be changed to every other Wednesday. Hopefully I can actually keep it this time.

I can't express how much I appreciate everyone who follows, favorites, and reviews this story; your support is invaluable. Thank you all so much for your kind words, thoughtful reviews, and understanding. You're the reason why I feel like professional publishing on my original work is even remotely possible.

A HUGE thank you must go out to MissLCB, who has done just a brilliant job Beta testing for me, dealing with my fluctuating schedule and enduring my sometimes strange comments on google docs. I couldn't have asked for a better Beta tester!

Lots of Love,

Wreade