A/N: The great (attempted) escapes of Asami Sato! I dunno. This was not originally in the plan for this story but whatever.
All Equalist guards will be referred to as "they" because Asami – conscious of various gender identities – didn't want to assume and thus used gender-neutral pronouns.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Fuck This Shit I'm Out: Asami's Tale
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Asami may have, in hindsight, perhaps miscalculated.
Her cell was simple – a bed, a toilet, a sink – and she had no way out.
Fantastic.
She had expected – had depended on – her father choosing his only child over terrorists he hadn't raised and clothed and fed and read bedtime stories to etcetera etcetera so on and so forth. Alas. She was on her own.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Asami's first jailer was easy. Pathetically easy, to be honest. They had their back to her, so she choked them out, grabbed their keys, stole their uniform, and went on her merry way.
It took around forty minutes to find her – she'd mistimed the guard rotation and they'd found her jailer too quickly, she'd had no time to get to the main populous and blend in – and a new rule was made that her watcher had to stand across the hall from her cell.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Asami's second jailer was just as easy, and a lot more satisfying to take down.
"You're not getting any sympathy from me," they'd growled at her when she'd crawled pathetically across the cell.
"I'm not trying to gain sympathy, I–" Her voice had started strong, but had broken by the end. Tears gathered in her eyes. "I hurt my hip getting thrown back in here and now I can't get to the toilet."
"…Well, why didn't you say so?"
Asami could hear the perverted smirk on the guard's face, the smugness that even the half-wall around the toilet couldn't give her any privacy. She tried to sit up as they unlocked the cell and came toward her, an aura of cockiness almost visibly glowing around them. They reached down for her, and she knocked them out with one quick jab to the neck.
Dumb ass.
She stood on her two good legs, stole their uniform, and snuck off.
It took them an hour and a half to find her that time. (She'd stopped off to ruin some equipment; if there was one thing that annoyed her as much as being held captive, it was that she hadn't been able to sabotage anything first.) It then became mandatory for her guards to wear half-masks.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
By the time Asami got a third jailer, two things had become apparent; one, she had to go straight for the exit, and two, she would need weapons.
She still had most of the clothes she'd been arrested in – only her sturdy boots and leather jacket had been taken – and she decided her gloves would be a worthwhile sacrifice. It took a lot longer than expected to poke the screws she'd taken from her bedframe through the knuckles of her gloves, but she managed it.
(She hid her actions behind the half-wall. She was sure her jailer thought she had been trying to take a particularly large shit. It was kind of funny, actually.)
"What's wrong with you?" her guard had asked cautiously, as if certain she would reach into the toilet and throw crap at him.
"Period problems," Asami blurted out, her go-to explanation to get people to stop asking questions. Her guard twitched.
Someone hasn't got a uterus.
"The clots are really bad this month," she continued. "Just bunch after bunch after bunch, but like, you just gotta let it drip, you know? And it always messes with my stomach, I'm gonna have diarrhea for days."
The guard started shifting their feet, clearly uncomfortable with Asami's chosen topic of discussion.
"I'm gonna get blood all over the sheets, it's so annoying. Just watch; I'm gonna wake up tomorrow swimming in my own uterine lining. That's what periods are, you know? The uterus shedding its lining in a long, bloody tantrum." Asami reached for the toilet paper. "Look, check this out." She pretended to wipe and by the time she looked up, her jailer was gone.
She picked the lock (Thank you, Mako!) and left.
She ducked into a closet, but Equalists swarmed the captives' wing. They found her eventually, but the morons had packed too many people into the halllway to fight back properly and she was able to give six of them wounds they wouldn't soon heal from.
They took away her bed and privacy wall and all her clothes but some greying pants and a thin undershirt.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Asami liked to believe that eventually, her father would come to his senses – he would realize he was sacrificing his child for the chance to fight a war – and he would help her sneak out. That's what happened with General Iroh, wasn't it? He lost his son in Ba Sing Se and turned his back on the battle. Because the bond between a parent and their child was such a strong thing. And yet there she was. Alone.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Jailer Four was a hot head. A few well-timed comments and they were ready to throw down. (Thank you, Mako.) Asami didn't even make it out of her cell that time – apparently the other Equalists were expecting her new guard to try something – but she did manage to let out most of her anger on her jailer's ribs, so it wasn't a total loss.
They stopped giving her guards keys after that.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Jailers Five and Six were the only time the Equalists tried pairing up the guards. They were easy enough to play against each other – she really would have to get Mako a present once she'd escaped, if he would let her near him, that was – and eventually they were yelling too much to notice her picking the lock again. They came to their senses before she got too far, though.
They electrified the bars after that.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Seven and Eight didn't stay long – she'd gotten into debates with them both and apparently she was making too much sense for her wardens' comfort so they were sent away from her evil influence.
("Bending had caused every war in history!"
"What about the Great Earth War of 142 BCE?"
"The what?"
"The Earth King of the time – a nonbender – decided he wanted to claim the uncharted lands of the continent and sent armies to slaughter the local populous until they were forced to surrender their homes."
"…That never happened!"
"What school did you go to?")
It was a way to pass the time, but it quickly got boring so she wasn't too crushed when they were no longer allowed near her.
The wardens made a new rule that guards could only appear to feed her.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Asami liked to pretend that the Beifongs would come looking for her. They would realize something was off with her suddenly joining a terrorist group and try to find her to set the story straight. Or they wouldn't realize and they'd come for revenge.
They wouldn't come, of course. They had other things to worry about, especially with Lin coming to town. Had ze already arrived? Surely, Asami would've heard if ze had. Surely, the gossip would reach her, even in the prisoners' wing.
What would they tell Lin about her?
How would Lin react?
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Asami was crying.
It had been three weeks and nine guards and still she was no closer to escaping. She had a better layout of the place, sure. She knew the guard rotation fairly well, true. That was all she had, though. No more weapons, no more plans, no more energy. No more family, no more friends, no more freedom.
She had nothing left.
The electricity in the bars turned off and a tray was slid through the gap on the bottom of the door.
"Are you ok?"
Her father had abandoned her, and she had abandoned everyone else.
"Hey! Hey, Sato!"
She had ruined everything.
"You ok?"
She buried her face in her hands, trying desperately to stop shaking.
"Hey, you're gonna be fine. Everything will be fine, you'll see."
It would be easy – so so easy – to just give up. Spirits did she want to just give up.
"You won't have to be in here much longer. I'm sure Amon will come up with something."
But did she really have any right to?
"You really think so?" A shaky smile, some pretty tears, and they didn't react a bit as she crept closer to the bars.
"Yeah, I do."
She held out her arm, and they reached toward her.
No, I don't.
She pulled, they hit, and she was out of her cell once again.
Let's do this.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
A/N: The ending was less funny than I wanted it to be but eh. Just wanted to throw in some Asami stuff. You're welcome.