Complexity
A/N: Chapter Ten already? I'm feeling so epic 3. Anyway. Review. Or I'll cry.
Chapter Ten: And Yes My Heart Will Hurt
Soundtrack: The Dream Is Collapsing- Hans Zimmer
"Wait."
He does. Her hand is on the counter top. Never before had it felt so…cold. She swallows, blinking. He's staring at her.
"You're leaving?"
Arthur turns all the way around. Only now does Ariadne see it- the suitcases scattered around the small flat. Arthur's neat, she thinks. She swallows again.
"Yes. They wanted me to come early."
She drags air into her lungs. The sun seems too bright. She shouldn't be bothered. She shouldn't care. She shouldn't want him to stay, shouldn't want him to stay, and shouldn't want him to stay at all.
She doesn't understand. She's confused.
It comes out timid, the words scattered in her mouth, clinking against one another, choking her but coming out of their own accord, feeling like snakes, beautiful, like glimmering jewels, but just as poisonous. She wills herself to say it louder.
"When are you coming back?"
If he leaves he shouldn't have to come back. He'd have been here the whole time.
Don't go. Please don't go.
Little memories. Little flashbacks-
"I was thinking. We can use a café like this…small and friendly…"
"What's your last name?"
Clunky and foreign and beautiful-
The cold water around her and the feeling of his arms around her-
"Say sorry. Really. Say it."
The blankets smothering her and awakening to see him right there…
"A picture may be worth a thousand words, but the question is, can you describe it?"
"I hear you've stopped dreaming."
"I'm telling Carol."
Don't go. I want you to stay.
She can feel herself falling. Into what?
The thing in her chest scratches at her ribs. She breathes quickly, a little gasp. Less from the pain and more of Arthur coming closer to her. She doesn't need him, she tells herself. Because…this…what is it? It makes it hard for me to breathe. I don't want him closer.
Do I?
Do you want him so far away that you can't even feel his heart beating? So far away you can't hear him breathing?
"A month."
She fell.
Not actually- metaphorically. Fell so far and so hard that her vision swims and her heart races and her spine tingle and her palms are sweaty. She went, and she left Arthur behind. And she wants him with her, however selfish that might seem.
"…Okay."
He's so close she can smell him. Like leather and smoke and wine. Like an exotic present, too beautiful for Ariadne to unwrap. She chokes on her want, chokes on her need, chokes on her simplicity. Or her complexity? Aren't they so closely merged you can't tell them apart? What is the difference?
"When will we return it to Professor Miles?"
That wasn't what she wanted to say.
Will you miss me?
He raises his hand and brushes her hair back from her forehead. She stops breathing, wondering what will happen next. Unforbidden, wanted, needed, wonderment, amazement, awe, pity…
He closes his eyes and breathes in so sharply that she can hear the air whistle past her. Then he takes a step backward and collects his bags and is out the door. Ariadne is left behind, simply (complexity) wondering what just happened.
.later.
It's quiet and dark in the dorm. Carol isn't asleep yet. Ariadne listens to her breathe.
"Carol?" she asks timidly- Carol had been in a peculiar mood all day.
"Yes."
"What does being in love feel like?"
Silence, again, and then Carol breaks it.
"Your heart races. Your palms are sweaty and your heart hurts and all you see is them. All you have to do is imagine your life without them. How do you feel?"
Ariadne knew.
She was living it.
A/N: Review. I worked hard…It would make chapter eleven come out faster!