Author: LadyFromPoland

Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warning: SLASH

English is not my mother language.

I'm quite proud of that chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing.

Dearest to his heart

Chapter 10

"Out of reach"

Merlin had to make himself go to the Council. He was not in the mood to see anybody but he also didn't have a choice. As the Court Magician he was supposed to be reliable. There was no way to avoid these important meetings if he wasn't dying.

This time the Council Room was full of people and Merlin liked it. He could hide somewhere between them and pretend that he was deeply interested in that day's subjects. It was even possible that Arthur wouldn't ask him about something personally. If the king had put his opinion aside in the past, Merlin would have felt offended. Now the warlock preferred not being noticed.

However Merlin was seen. Nevertheless by Sir Leon, not Arthur.

The knight walked up to the dark haired man and gave him a light smile. "Hello, Merlin," Leon said in a friendly way.

The sorcerer nodded his head. He didn't want to talk and hoped that Leon wouldn't be so demanding.

"You don't look good," the knight murmured so people around them couldn't hear it.

"Thanks," Merlin said sarcastically. It was his bad day. Actually his last weeks were full of such days.

When the warlock started to hope that Leon would let go, he spoke again. "I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself recently."

"I'm fine," the sorcerer hissed.

"Merlin, I'm serious..." the knight said, looking ahead. The other man avoided eye contact anyway.

"Don't make a fuss over my person." Merlin tried to say it quietly but it sounded very much like a warning.

Leon wasn't afraid of his friend's words and he was ready to continue that conversation. However Arthur came into the Council Room and everybody fell silent. There was something weird in the way he walked with princess Miranda by his side. The lady wasn't supposed to take part in the Councils. Nevertheless she was there and then. She also looked more confident than usually what was quite annoying.

Merlin watched the whole scene in a slight terror. Although he had already seen them kissing, he still found such view surprising in a painful way.

"I'm glad to see you all here today," Arthur spoke up. "I've got something important to tell you." The king looked over the people and then continued. "You must be a bit surprised seeing princess Miranda here. Well... It's not a good place for such a lovely guest." He cleared his throat. "However her presence is necessary..."

Miranda found Merlin between the other members of the Council. She smirked at him in the way that only the warlock could recognise. She was giving him a sign that she had won and there was nothing Merlin could do to change that.

The sorcerer felt that he knew what Arthur was about to say. However he wasn't going to believe it until the very end.

"I'm happy to say that princess Miranda is not going to be just a gust any more." King looked at the woman and held her hand in the noble way. "We've decided to make our kingdoms stronger by our union. Tomorrow the whole Camelot is going to celebrate our engagement."

Leon looked at Merlin. The warlock tried to be brave and the knight could say that he did it quite well. He wanted to tell Merlin something to comfort him. After all the engagement wasn't the end of the world. There was still a chance to bring Arthur to reason.

The king, however, hadn't said all news yet. "Our marriage is going to be in a week." That statement sounded like a sentence for poor warlock.

People started applauding. Leon watched as Merlin made himself to clap his hands too. It was one of the saddest view that he had ever seen.

oOoOo

Leon stood in front of the doors to Lady Morgana's chamber. He took a deep breath and knocked.

After a while Lizzie opened the door. When she saw the guest she bowed lightly.

"Sir Leon," Morgana said, looking at the knight. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked.

"I need to tell you an important thing about the kingdom," the man said quietly. Then he glanced at the maid.

Morgana understood that he didn't want the girl to hear what he was about to say. "Lizzie, go to the kitchen and bring us some fruit," the woman ordered. "You don't need to hurry up."

The maid looked up at her mistress. Lady Morgana really wanted to talk with the knight in private. "Of course," Lizzie said and left the room.

The noble lady didn't want to waste time. "What happened, Leon?" she asked quickly.

"Arthur..." The knight straightened up.

"What about him?" Morgana became quite impatient.

"Today he told the Council that..." Leon cleared his throat. "Tomorrow we will be celebrating his and princess Miranda's engagement."

"What?" the woman ejaculated. "Is he mad?"

The knight didn't answer her question. "It's not everything," he said after a few seconds. "They're going to get married in a week."

This time Morgana didn't shout or something like that. She turned pale and Leon had to help her sit down.

"I can't believe that..." the woman whispered eventually. "I can't understand his rush. Something must have caused it."

"Or someone," Leon suggested. "I suppose that princess Miranda can be convincing."

Morgana looked at the man intently. "We need to stop that madness," she said. "I doubt that we can stop their engagement but we still have a week until the wedding."

"How are you going to do that? Arthur is not himself..." Leon pointed out.

"Merlin... he's our hope."

"But he's as dumb as the king," the knight said. "In that case, of course."

"I know..." Morgana frowned. "Merlin doesn't listen to me but maybe he would listen to you?" she asked.

"I really doubt it," Leon admitted. "But I can try."

The lady smiled lightly. "Do it."

She looked into his eyes. Then Leon took Morgana by her hands and unexpectedly kissed them, not breaking the eye contact. "The sooner I try the better," he said.

"That's true," Morgana said weakly.

In the moment when Lizzie came into the chamber, Leon let go of Morgana's hands. They both hoped that the girl hadn't noticed anything.

"I've brought the fruit," the maid said, putting a tray on the table. "In kitchen they said they are the freshest ones."

"I need to go," the knight said formally to Morgana, not caring about Lizzie's words. "I hope that I will bring you good news, my lady."

"So do I." Morgana couldn't help smiling at the man. "Good luck, Sir Leon."

When the man left the chamber, Lizzie decided to share the news with her mistress. "I've heard that king Arthur is getting marriage in a week," she said sadly. "I fear it... I fear princess Miranda."

"Sir Leon told me about it." Morgana came up to her maid and put her hand on girl's shoulder. "I promise you that I will do anything to stop Arthur. And it's not only me or you... There are more people who don't want her to be a queen."

oOoOo

Merlin was lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. He didn't even bother to take his boots off.

When someone knocked on the door, the warlock didn't even stir. He didn't want to see anybody. Loneliness was his best companion.

Leon, however, supposed that Merlin wouldn't have told him to come in. The knight would have been even surprised, if the younger man had done such thing. Lack of permission couldn't stop him. He simply pushed the door and came into the room. Merlin hadn't even thought about locking the door with keys or his magic.

"You need to get yourself together," Leon said without any word of explanation. "And you need to do it now."

The sorcerer didn't answer. He even refused to take a look at the other man.

"We need to stop Arthur," the knight said firmly. "And your part in that affair is essential."

Merlin kept on pretending that he didn't hear Leon's words. He hoped that the knight would let go soon. The peace was all what he needed now.

"Merlin!" the fair haired man spoke up. "You can ignore me but you can't ignore the kingdom."

"I can," the warlock finally snarled.

"At least you've started to respond," Leon said. The relief was heard in his voice.

"You know what? I don't care what Arthur is going to do! He can... he can do whatever he wants. He wants to do something stupid? Go on! He has my blessing!"

Leon watched the other man intently. "You don't really mean that," he said silently. "The Merlin I know cares for Arthur and the kingdom. He wouldn't stay and watch. He would do something."

The sorcerer sat up immediately and looked at the knight icily. "That Merlin is dead," he whispered in a broken voice.

"You want to think so because it's easier," Leon said and left the chamber. There was nothing else he could do to help Merlin. The sorcerer had to clear things up on his own. Only this way he would save not only himself but also Arthur and Camelot.

oOoOo

Arthur couldn't fall asleep. Recently it had happened to him too often and the king was simply tired. This time, however, his troubles with sleep were quite understandable. After all the next day was the day of his engagement.

The man couldn't really understand himself. He was getting marriage in a week, even thought not so long before he had promised himself that he wouldn't have rushed any things. Now he was going to have a beautiful wife and queen. Their marriage would be profitable for Camelot. Everything was supposed to be perfect but some part of Arthur feared these changes. He had already seen how his present life and his life a few weeks before were different. It pained him more that he wanted to admit. This pain was so strong because his friendship with Merlin had suffered the most. Arthur wasn't even sure if he could still call it friendship. In these days they hardly spoke, while in the past he hadn't been able to live a single day without his magical friend.

The king wanted to blame Morgana. She had claimed the sorcerer not leaving Arthur a chance to fight. The king had to come to terms with the failure. He could not compare with woman's charm. Their friendship had taken the second place and then kept on collapsing.

Arthur tried to recall the last time when he and Merlin were like true friends. The first thing that came to his mind was their trip. It seemed to be silly but Arthur couldn't help thinking about it. He still remembered the warmth of water and sand. He still remembered the joy in Merlin's eyes. Now Arthur knew that he was going to keep that memory in his heart forever. After all it was the last memory of his former life.

The king wanted to think about the future more than about the past but it was incredibly difficult. He missed Merlin's advice and even his annoying babbling. Arthur could not believe that he hadn't informed the warlock about his engagement and marriage before he told the Council. He used to ask Merlin about his opinion first. It had always felt normal and familiar. Arthur had seen how the warlock was happy to speak his mind. Merlin had felt important then and Arthur wanted him to feel like that. Their friendship had never been typical but the blonde used to like to consider it as one of the best thing that had happened in his life. In fact it was the most important but Arthur had never been brave enough to admit it.

Suddenly the king felt that at night before his engagement he was supposed to think about his future fiancée instead of the friendship that used to be strong. However it was easier to realise than to do actually.

In the middle of the night he thought that he knew the reason of his sleep troubles. He started to believe that his conscience made him feel guilty. Arthur was used to share every idea with Merlin and when he had stopped, his organism started to rise.

The man was close to forget about his pride, go to Merlin and beg him to become a part of his life again. Of course Arthur was a king and he couldn't let himself for such a weakness. However he could dream about the world where he would show his weaknesses.

The childish and selfish idea crossed king's mind. He thought about taking Merlin away from his chamber and bringing him to his own. Arthur would hide the warlock in the wardrobe or under his bed and have him only for himself. The blonde knew that if Merlin had been close, he wouldn't have any sleep troubles and everything would be just fine. Having the friend for his own seemed so tempting but was absolutely out of Arthur's reach.

I'm cruel leaving you here, aren't I? You just need to get ready for some angst events but don't forget about hope.

Please, review!