A/N: Underage drinking involved, although if you read the mushroom chapter I kind of doubt that this will bother you : )
"I can never recall
What it was I had ever to strive for?
As a youth, was it just to exist autonomously?
No, we don't wanna work
We just wanna fuck, swallow pills, and forget our curses!!
No, we don't need pigs like you!
We follow the laws of our emptying veins
In this world of nothing for me
I'd be sooner destroyed
Vampire youth
Raise your cups to the never-waning moon
Let its visage ring true!
To the hearts cold and blue
We're dying each moment free
We're all animals here
Flesh and blood, bone and dream
We're just impulses here
Just another piece of shit in the storm
Just another piece of shit!
SHIT!
From the smelling of things it appears
This shit has come to a boil
Nighttime we shall rule as our own
While this hollow will sleep
We shall bark at the moon
In this world of nothing for me
I'd be sooner destroyed
In this world there is nothing for us
But the sound, but the sound!
Vampire youth
Raise your cups to the never-waning moon
Let its visage ring true!
To the hearts cold and blue
We're dying each moment
We'll never sleep again
We'll be going fucking mad
Sin and Hell is all we will ever know
Just another piece of shit."
-Miasma, Black Dahlia Murder
Chapter Ten - Miasma
Seth Clearwater. What a fucking trip that guy had been.
Not that I didn't like him; he seemed like a really nice guy. He was fucking gorgeous. He kind of seemed like he liked me, too. Which was a good thing, because he'd stirred up something wierd inside of me while we'd walked through the darkness together.
Something that I couldn't really put my finger on, but it felt important. When he smiled at me I had this sense of completion that I couldn't at all understand.
My thoughts were interrupted by my phone, something that happened to me way too much. My brain should have the time to finish sentences every now and then.
"Hello?" I didn't recognize the number and it didn't have the normal three-oh-four area code.
"Hey there," his voice answered.
"How'd you get my number?" I asked suddenly. I didn't remember giving it to him.
"I'm sneaky," he answered with a smile in his voice. "Actually, Dan Quail invented this thing called the internet...." He trailed off while I laughed. "So how are you on this lovely morning, Liz?"
"Fine," I told him simply.
"Do you only go by Liz? No Eliza-"
"Do not call me that!" I hated that name. Mom was lucky it could be shortened down to something handlable.
"So just Liz then?"
"Yeah, unless you can come up with a nickname that's appropriate," I giggled while Luna hopped up and laid down beside of me.
"What did they call you back home?"
"Tons of shit, but usually Legs." I started stroking Lu-Lu's fur and she rolled over lazily.
"Legs? I guess it makes sense. I'll try to be original and come up with my own." He was breathing in these long distant huffs like he'd just run somewhere.
"So was there a particular reason why you called?" I asked him.
"Can't two friends just call to talk?" I rolled my eyes at that one while Josh laughed at his own stupidity. "I was actually going to see what your plans were for the day."
As soon as he said the word plans, he jogged my memory and a smile lit up my face. "I have no idea, but last night I met your friend Seth and maybe I'll hang out with him some."
"Seth?" He sounded agitated.
"Yeah, I forgot he told me he might stop by today."
"You met him after I saw you last night?"
"Yeah," I laughed as I remembered. "After you dropped me off I went walking through the woods and he just came up out of nowhere wanting me to let him walk me back home."
I waited for Josh to answer, then started picking at the tips of my hair out of boredom and nervousness. Silence was usually deafening to me.
"Want to hang out with me first?" he finally asked while I heard someone knocking on my front door.
"Is that you?" I asked him as I made my way through my house. He didn't answer, and somehow I knew it wasn't going to be him on the other side of the door.
"I'll call you again later. I mean, if you want me to," Josh offered as I opened the door.
"Okay. Later." I flipped my phone shut and smiled at Seth. I was startled by how happy I felt to just see him here.
He smiled back, his whole face lighting up with brightness. "I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
"No, it's cool. Josh found my phone number somehow." He was still standing on the porch, so I moved aside so he could make his way in. "Want something to eat?"
"No," he laughed, a deep but youthful sound that I instantly liked. "I'll have to let you get to know me before you're subjected to that type of debauchery. I'd rather get to know you a little today."
"Why?"
"Because... you're new in town and you could use some friends. My friends will treat you like family, so you'll have people around that you know you can trust." He looked so certain of himself, and every time his eyes caught mine his expression went wonky again.
"Trust?" I said, slightly dazed after studying his deep green, brown and gold flecked eyes.
"Yeah," he said easily, staring back at me. "Trust."
I lowered my eyes from his to clear my mind. "I don't really trust anybody." I looked up at him again. "You know, it's alot easier to get to know someone if I can get a couple of drinks," I told him honestly. I was just naturally wound up too tight to have some guy I barely knew trying to get to know me in the livingroom of a home I wasn't even used to.
"There's a bar about thirty miles from here that I like to play pool at."
I smiled at him. "I'll get my stuff."
Twenty minutes later we were flying down the freeway blasting some Mazzaroth, an ode to my boys back home. Seth seemed scared by my driving, but I was not handing him the keys. Road trips were kind of my thing. Along with drinking and rocking out and partying way too hard for someone my size.
"Hey, I heard this on your phone before. What all does he say?"
I laughed while Seth held on tight through a sharp curve. "He says, 'Whiskey sippin' mountain momma, In them tall black boots. She's got a thirty eight pistol, And she knows how to shoot!" I sang along with my favorite CD. "She's got a blank name-space left, in her new tattoo. And if you play your cards right boy, she'll be waitin' there for you!"
"Didn't you say you know these guys?"
"They're from my neck of the woods. That song is actually about me," I told him, just as proud now as when they made it for me.
"Yours?" He yelled back over the music.
"Yeah! I met Darrell once at a friend's house, then we met up again two days later down at the river. The river is what he's calling Hell's Half Acre," I explained while he nodded. "So anyways, he says that's the night he decided to be in love with me or whatever, but after we partied down he thought for some reason that he wouldn't get to see me much more, so he wrote a song about that whole night."
"Her lips taste of marmalade, got a heart like the apocalypse. You want blood, brother she'll make it rain with a prick From her fingertip..." he quoted, looking as if he was questioning something as he spoke.
"White thighs, black fishnets. Got a thing for killing innocents, She walks followed by the fires of hell And you're stepping into it," I quoted back, smiling at him for a moment.
"Take this next exit," he said happily. This guy seemed to be pretty bouyant compared to most people. It was refreshing, considering that I was the eternal pessimist.
When I was parked in an empty spot at what seemed to be a decent establishment for getting fucked up, I opened up my visor to check out my makeup and started smoothing my clothes.
"You look beautiful," Seth said quietly just before stepping out of the car. A moment later, he was opening up my door and holding my hand as I stepped out. A girl could get spoiled with too much of that gentlemen stuff.
We walked in side by side but not touching, and Seth seemed tense after we flashed our I.D.'s and started towads the bar. I plopped down on a stool and watched as he sat down slowly beside of me, a look of avarice painting his usually kind features.
"What's wrong?" I asked him as the bar tender noticed us and began wrapping up his conversation with a different patron.
"All these guys are staring at you," he answered.
"What can I get for you two?" The bartender asked with a smile.
I looked at Seth who just shrugged, then smiled back at the old man. "Two Irish Car Bombs and two Cherry Bombs," I told him without hesitation.
The man laughed while he grabbed some glasses from under the bar. "Lookin' for a party, little girl?" he ventured.
"Maybe..." I told him as I looked around to find all these guys that were supposedly staring at me.
"Seth!" I laughed, smacking him in the shoulder when I spotted the ten to fifteen men that were occupying the small club. "Those guys aren't staring because they think I'm hot. They just know how to spot their own kind."
"How are you their own kind?" he asked skeptically.
"They're wearing band t-shirts," I told him matter-of-factly. Why would it matter if they were interested in me anyways? I was single.
I grabbed the cherry bomb that had just been sat in front of me and walked right over to the biggest cluster of guys that were all playing pool.
"Who DJ's in this place?"
One of the guys smiled and pointed towards the tiny sound booth that was currently pumping out some kind of jazzy tune. Don't get me wrong, I loved all music, but certain occasions called for certain jams.
I went for the booth next and popped the door open. The man inside looked surprised, then kind of excited. I just handed him a CD and told him that I'd really love it so much if he would play it through for me.
I laughed internally as I exited the booth with a sweet sounding goodbye; men were so easy. It was amazing what a small outfit, a smile and a hair flip could get for you in this world. And whatever it couldn't get for you, money always could.
I went back to my seat beside of Seth, who seemed to be brooding over my absence.
"Hey," I told him as some Black Dahlia Murder started blasting through the bar. "Have some fuckin' fun with me!"
I downed both drinks at once, ordered up three shots of tequila and jumped into the small mosh pit that had formed during Miasma. I felt gratified knowing that I could always tell a true crowd of headbangers.
"This is crazy!" Seth yelled when he made his way to me as we both blocked fists and elbows. "Is this what you usually do for fun? Drink at bars and get big men all riled up with crazy music?!"
"Why the fuck not?" I yelled back, punching a burly man in the jaw. He just shrugged it off and slung an elbow at Seth's chest, which was about even with the guy's head. Those Quileute boys were built big and tough as nails.
Seth looked confused, then happy like he usually was. 'Everything Went Black' started blaring and he started head banging and throwing punches through the room, too. I yelled to him about how I'd partied with this band about two weeks ago at a show in North Carolina, and he looked awed.
The chaos ensued late into the night, well past the point of our little group dragging their drunken feet sluggishly behind them. It was no huge metalfest, but it was pretty damn fun. The crowd was dispersing now while I sat next to Seth and tried to keep my inebriated body upright.
"How can you drink that much?" Seth was asking me animatedly. I'd even beat him with the shots.
"I used to drink alot," I laughed. "I mean ALOT, alot. I've been running wild for a pretty damn long time."
"How old are you? I mean, you look really young so you couldn't have been doing this for too long."
"Ha! Don't fucking kid yourself, sweetheart. I'm eightteen years old, but I've been partying down just like this for the past six years."
He stared at me like he was trying to process the sentence. "You started drinking when you were twelve years old?" He asked as if it was the most alien thing he'd ever heard in his life.
"I've been doin' a whole lot more than drinking since that age," I told him as I tossed back another shot.
"Where were your parents?" he asked, still in shock.
"Parent," I corrected. There'd always only been the one. "Mom liked to have fun too, and she never kept tabs on me, never grounded me or any of that bullshit. She let me pick up and move out of her house when I was fourteen. And she'd let me come back whenever I wanted, too. I just grew up without any rules."
"Did she know what you were up to?" His tone of voice reminded me of a teacher or some other kind of authority figure. It was making me grind my teeth together.
"Yes, Seth, she did. She knew when I came home drunk because she'd usually find me taking a piss in the front yard or something. And she knew I smoked pot because I'd do it right in front of her. And she knew about the coke and the pills because she found plates with cards and straws on them. And she knew about the L25 and the ecstasy and shrooms because I'd wander around in her house tripping out once a week for about five years straight." I was in his face then and he was looking a bit scared, but he needed to know why he shouldn't pry so damn much.
"And she knew when I started getting the great hookups and selling all the shit, because I got arrested for it and spent three months in lockup while they plastered pictures of me on the evening news. So Mom pretty much knows how the fuck I do my shit, okay?"
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean - " he started quickly, holding his hands up in defense. "I really want to apologize, but I just still can not believe at all that a human as tiny as you could do that many drugs and be sitting in front of me all vibrant and beautiful right now."
I giggled in spite of my anger, and Seth's face softened in return. It was hard to be angry with a gorgeous man that's throwing out compliments like that.
"You'd be surprised how much a girl like me can handle. It's all in the upbringing," I told him as I took another sip from my Cherry Bomb.
"What made you turn out the way that you are then?" He asked in a way that was simply interested and not at all condescending.
"I had too much freedom, too many older friends, way too much bad knowledge, and I looked pretty much just like I do now when I was about fourteen. Plus my liking of the parties," I laughed as I tapped my glass to his and we shared a cheers.
He leaned closer to me and looked in my eyes in a way that felt very close and intimate, despite the immaturity of our relationship. "I think there's alot more to you than whatever it is that you did growing up. I think there's more to you than being a wild party girl."
"Maybe I'll let you find out," I said, so obviously being a flirt. I didn't know what was getting to me so much about this particular man, but he was making my stomach feel bubbly.
"I sure hope you do," he smiled, tossing back the rest of his glass. "Until you decide, though, why don't I buy you another drink?"
I watched him walk towards the bar, wondering what in the world I was getting myself into.