A/N: I'd like to thank the new reviewers, and it looks like we finally have some guys on board too. Yay, and welcome! I appreciate your comments.

Thank you winterschild11, Sassyascanbe14, bubzchoc, StoryLover04, LazyLazyWriter, HappyDazeChick, Shay, SimonSez, Fifties Dude, Tony, and other guests. ;)

BTW, I still do not own Big Time Rush.

10. Revelations

Logan woke up in a panic. "Shit!" He ran a hand through his unwashed hair, and sat up.

Kendall flopped to the side, jarred by the sudden movement. He took one look at Logan's sullen expression and knew why. He missed his date with Lana the night before.

"You needed your rest," Kendall said, without giving him eye-contact.

"Not as much as I needed to be there," Logan said sadly.

Kendall rubbed his back. "She'll understand."

"How do you know? I was lucky to even get a chance with her, never mind an invite to meet her parents. Let's face it, I screwed up."

"You were lucky and not her? Who are you, and what the hell did you do with Logan?" Kendall said with a sly smile.

Logan didn't laugh. He threw back the covers, bolted from the bed to the bathroom, and slammed the door behind him. Kendall sighed and covered his face with the blanket.

"Seems to be a new bad habit of Logan's, banging that bathroom door," James said, poking his head around the doorway. James saw Kendall was sulking too. "'Nother tiff for you two?"

Kendall shook his head under the blanket, hair flopping over the top. He was happy for Logan that he found someone he liked so much, but he was worried about where it would lead and how it would ultimately change their relationship. He also wasn't thrilled about not knowing where he was all the time. Especially, until the deal with the cops blew over.

If it ever could blow over that is, he thought. Then, there was that something else. That nagging bit of jealousy that Kendall couldn't understand. A gnawing feeling that he wouldn't like being pushed aside to make room for a new person in Logan's life.

"Carlos is busy making pancakes," James' voice sliced into his thoughts. "Kitchen's a disaster, but they're smelling good."

"Not hungry," Kendall grumbled.

"Aw, come on, I'm bumming about everything too, but we're talking pancakes here!" James prodded.

Kendall forced a smile. "Just give me a few and I'll be there."

"Righto," James said, leaving. Kendall covered his head back up, but with a stack of pillows this time, and groaned.

Logan finished showering and walked back in, clad only in a towel. He was surprised to find Kendall with his head buried in pillows, still in his bed. He wasn't sure why he felt like taking his anger out on him when he knew it was his own fault the night ended the way it had, but he did.

He guessed he was still pouting over the run-in they had the other night over the accident. Kendall as the enforcer, was definitely a blow to his ego. However, if he was honest with himself, he knew Kendall had every right to walk away from their friendship over the trouble he caused.

He turned away and pulled on his clean clothes. Kendall sensing his presence from deep within his cavern of pillows, slowly lowered them to study Logan fussing with his hair in the mirror. "Going somewhere?"

It was just the right words to set Logan off. He spun around, eyes flashing. He was already upset over Lana, now he was about to endure another inquisition. "Is that all right, Daddy?" he snapped sarcastically.

Kendall was out of the bed in a flash. His equally fiery eyes locked with Logan's. "I thought we just went through all this! Don't call me that!"

"What are you so frosted about? I thought you'd like it!" Logan said coyly. He folded his arms protectively across his chest, and tried his best not to back away from the seething Kendall.

Kendall's expression softened a bit when he saw the determined look on Logan's face. "Logan, we need to talk."

Logan turned away, and slowly combed more pomade into his dark hair. "I thought we did that yesterday morning, and I haven't done anything new to earn me a chewing out, so..." He shrugged and returned to his hair.

Kendall's eyes followed his hands, where he promptly stopped one from its busy work, and held it still. "I don't mean just me and you. All of you...Carlos and James included. Besides, Carlos hasn't burned down the kitchen yet, and there are pancakes on the griddle. We should have some time during breakfast to talk. That is, unless...you're leaving?"

"I'll have a quick breakfast first, but then I really do owe Lana some kind of explanation," Logan said with a lost look.

"Cool beans," Kendall said, adjusting his arm comfortably around his smaller friend. "She likes you, it won't be the end."

Logan stopped. "Just let me finish up here.'

"Okie-dokie," Kendall said, and left him alone in the room.

Logan sat on the edge of the bed, deep in thought. He understood they were in a real mess, but there had to be a way to reconcile things. After all, he had no way of knowing that the boy would be hurt, never mind die. Life really couldn't be that unfair, could it?

"Pancakes are ready, Loges," James said. Logan followed him out to the kitchen, and sat at the chrome table. They all tried to overlook the various mixing bowls, broken egg shells, spilled batter, and utensils littering the counter-tops. They even over-looked the fact that Carlos was spattered head-to-toe with pancake batter.

Instead, they heaped their plates with the amazingly tasty-looking pancakes, and dug in. James drizzled a puddle of syrup on his stack, and stuffed a forkful into his mouth. He chewed appreciatively. "My compliments to the chef!" he said with a wink.

Carlos blushed proudly and shrugged. "My mom taught me how to make them," he said.

"Yeah, they're great," Logan said, never looking up.

"Fantastic," Kendall agreed. "Look, there's something I need to talk to you guys about."

They sensed an ominous tone in his words, and laid their forks down to give him their undivided attention. Logan was nervous. He had no idea what Kendall was about to say, but he had a feeling it had something to do with him.

"We've been friends all these years, but I haven't come completely clean with you guys." Logan shifted nervously in his chair and held his breath. Kendall looked down at his hands. "I-I had a brother once."

Everyone gasped. "What do you mean...a brother?" Carlos asked.

"What do you mean-once?" James asked. Logan sat gaping at Kendall. How could he have not known this?

"Kendall blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. "We were so young. Not long before I met you guys. Kyle was always hanging around me and my friends. You remember me talking about George and Leo?"

They nodded, too stunned to speak. "Well, we couldn't stand having my little brother following us all over the place...telling mom everything we did. We told him to g-get lost," Kendall said, choking up.

Logan went to Kendall, and wrapped his arms around his shaking shoulders from behind. Kendall quickly composed himself. "That's typical of an older brother," Logan said softly.

"I-I remember him crying, and running off to tell on me. I was so mad at him. Somehow...he ended up finding our dad, out working in the garage. He ended up going with him to get parts for the car." Kendall closed his eyes, reliving the horror.

"Kendall..." James said, rising to join Logan.

Carlos remained glued to his chair, tears streaming down his cheeks. He knew something really bad was coming. "He never came home to us," Kendall finished.

"W-what?" Carlos cried.

"My mom got a phone call from the hospital. My dad was in intensive care with a bunch of broken bones, but-but my b-brother was gone," he sobbed. Logan kneaded his tense shoulders and buried his face into his neck, feeling his pain and crying with him.

"That wasn't because of you, Kendall. It was an accident," James reasoned.

"You don't understand," Kendall said. "Kyle never wanted to go with my dad. They weren't that close. Kyle was even kind of afraid of him. He drank too much, and he always made me out to be the only golden boy. He didn't want a second kid. Kyle only went with him...because I kicked him out of my room. My dad had a lot of beers that day. It was all my fault..."

"Don't do this, Kendall," Logan pleaded. "You can't live with that kind of blame." It was obvious that Kendall believed his father had caused the car accident.

"I loved him so much!" Kendall cried, covering his wet face with both hands.

"He loved you too, and he doesn't blame you for what happened!" Carlos said.

"How could we not –know any of this?" James asked incredulously. "No one-" He was perplexed.

"We couldn't talk about it," Kendall said simply, calming down and wiping at his face. "My mom couldn't talk about...him at all afterward. I learned not to bring him up ever, because it would just devastate her."

"That's not healthy," Logan said softly.

Kendall nodded. "I know, and my dad never treated me like the golden boy after Kyle was gone, that's for sure. I swear he blamed me too. We barely even spoke before he left us. Katie was only two and half, when he hit the road. He wasn't about to stick around and raise another kid he didn't want."

"Is that -" Logan decided not to finish his question. The question burning deep inside of him. Was he seeing him as the little brother he lost?

"I love you guys," Kendall continued, ignoring the unfinished question, and looking into Logan's caring eyes. He pulled his slender body close to him, and buried his face into his stomach. Logan petted his hair and looked at the other two helplessly.

Kendall swallowed the lump in his throat and sighed. He too wondered if that wasn't why he couldn't stand to think of losing Logan. It would be like going through the pain of losing his little brother all over again. But, he couldn't deny that there was more to it. He simply loved the guy. In what way, he didn't know. As much as the others in many ways, and more than the others in some way. Kendall was decidedly confused.

"You need to get to Lana," Kendall said, suddenly pushing him away.

Logan bit his lower lip, debating what to do. The whole thing was emotionally draining for him, and he couldn't imagine just walking out his friend now.

"I can go a little later," Logan offered.

"No, I insist that you go now," Kendall said in a fatherly tone. He slapped him on the bottom and smiled.

"Yes Da-," Logan stopped himself, looking sheepish.

"Daddy, I know," Kendall chuckled. James and Carlos looked confused, while Logan looked down guiltily.

"I'll be here when you get back," Kendall said somberly. "You can tell me all about it."

Logan nodded and grabbed his jean jacket off the hook. "Bye, guys," he said sadly.

"Bye, Logan," they chorused.

"Be careful," Kendall called.

x-x

Logan's mind was swimming with the words Kendall used. 'My brother' and 'my fault', kept replaying in his head. It was all so messed up, and he couldn't help but feel responsible for making all the pain Kendall kept buried inside over the years, resurface. Disappointing Kendall hurt deeply, and now knowing this was just too much to digest. What had he done? The accident...Kendall thinking he almost lost him... He was the worst friend and brother ever.

He pulled up to the diner and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how to begin explaining why he didn't show the night before. Her parents had to think he was an idiot, or worse, a cad. He already told her he had nothing to do with the boy's death, so he couldn't tell the truth now. He wasn't responsible for the boy's death. That was the truth, wasn't it?

He climbed out of the car, and made his way to the door before he could change his mind. He wasn't used to actually entering the place, only seeing it from across the road.

Inside the diner bustled with activity. He welcomed the chatting patrons, dishes clanking into tubs, and music playing on the jukebox. He liked the warm, cozy atmosphere, and it eased his nerves a bit. He sat on the first vacant stool at the counter, and smiled at the older red-headed woman, ready to take his order.

"Don't I know you, doll?" she asked. He saw the name-tag said Roxanne.

"I don't know, you might, Roxanne," Logan said with a grin.

"Yeah...you're one-fourth of that adorable group that sings, aren't you? Plus, I see you hanging outside a lot." She glanced around, then leaned down to Logan's level. "Got a crush on Lana, huh?"

Logan blushed and nodded. "Can I order?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"She has a crush on you too," she whispered knowingly. "So, what can I get you?"

"A coke and a chicken sandwich," he said confidently. He leaned forward, and she bent back down. "How do you know?" he whispered.

"Well, because when you didn't show last night, she about went through the roof. You're in big trouble, mister."

"Story of my life," Logan groaned. She chuckled.

"Oh, here she is now, speak of the devil!" She winked, and let Lana take her place at the counter.

Logan felt the heat rise to his cheeks. "Hey," he said.

Lana folded her arms. "Hey," she said crossly.

"I'm really sorry about last night.." he began. "Give your parents my apologies."

"I know," she said cutting him off.

"You know?" he said, frowning.

"I know you were the other driver," she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?'

Logan's jaw dropped. "How could you know... that?" he whispered, giving the old man working on his pie and coffee next to him, an annoyed look for listening in.

"Because I know everything that goes on in this town. We own a diner, remember?" she asked in exasperation.

Logan looked down at the counter-top. "I'm sorry," he said flatly, figuring his chance with her was blown.

"You need my help," she said. Logan's eyes darted up to hers beautiful blue-green ones.

"How?" he asked.

"Just say you'll accept it, and I'll see what I can do," she said, blushing when he caught her eyes roaming over him. He nodded.

"Chicken sandwich and a coke!" the waitress announced, nudging Lana over and depositing the glass and plate in front of him. Lana smiled and Logan smiled back. "You two really are precious," the waitress said, shaking her head before heading back to the kitchen.

"Thanks, Roxanne!" Lana called with a giggle.

"So, I'm not in the doghouse?" Logan asked, taking a sip of his coke.

"Oh, you're in the doghouse, but it might be fun having you there." Logan gave her a crooked grin, exposing every dimple. "Just don't ever lie to me, or leave me in the dark from this point on," she warned.

He held his hands up in surrender. "I swear, I won't," he promised. The old man watched and Logan sighed.

Lana leaned down, and Logan fought hard to not stare down her pale pink angora sweater. "That's Jim, he's harmless," she whispered. "Comes here every day." Logan nodded at the old man and waved.

Catching him off-guard, Lana quickly kissed Logan on the tip of the nose, and disappeared back into the kitchen before he could react. The old man smiled for the first time since he'd been there, and Logan smiled back. He fidgeted happily on his stool as he he took a bite of one of the best chicken sandwiches he ever had.

x-x

Carlos headed to the garage for his shift, still thinking about Kendall. He wondered how it was possible to know someone as long as they had known one another, and not know about his brother's death. He rounded a bend, tilting his cycle to hug the curve, when he spotted something in his side-view mirror.

The piercing drone of a siren cut through the air, and Carlos sucked in an irritated breath. "Damn it!" he cursed.

He pulled to the side of the road, and waited for the man to exit the vehicle. It was Zimmer, and he sauntered up smugly, snapping his gum and smirking all the while.

"Well, well. Going a bit fast there, weren't you?" he asked.

Was he? Carlos honestly wasn't sure any more, but he didn't think he was. He was so deep in thought, that he began to doubt himself.

"N-no," Carlos stammered.

"Calling me a liar?" Zimmer asked ,inching his face closer to his.

Carlos sighed. "Look, we know you plan to take all us down, but I wasn't speeding and you know it."

Zimmer's face hardened. "Listen punk, you were going at least fifty in a thirty-five, and you'll be lucky if I don't revoke your license for this."

"What? I can't get to work without a license! Without work, I can't pay for my share at the bungalow!" Carlos exclaimed.

The policeman snickered, and pulled out his tablet and pen. "You should think about that before you speed the next time. I'll let you off the hook this once, but it will be the last," he warned, handing him the warning ticket he scribbled out.

"Thanks," Carlos said. He knew the man was messing with him, but he couldn't hide the relief ton his face, hat it was a warning and not an actual ticket. He didn't want to have to explain it to his father.

The officer left him on the side of the road, where Carlos made the decision that he had to concede and call Papi. He had to tell him what was going on with the local police. His gut told him it wouldn't end until one of them was behind bars if he didn't.

x-x

James couldn't shake what had happened that day, either. Kendall's revelations left him reeling. It showed on camera, and more than once he heard the photographer shout, "Give it some feeling, young man!"

The girl working with him shot him a dirty look. She thought he was gorgeous when he first arrived for the shoot, but after being ignored by the pretty boy for the last hour, she was more annoyed than attracted.

He had only a few more days of the job remaining, and he didn't need to mess up now. He pushed aside the gloomy thoughts, and focused on posing for the camera.

"Better!" the man shouted.

On the drive home, James' thoughts returned to his private life. He knew for a while that Kendall doted on Logan more than Carlos or himself, and he couldn't help but worry that Logan's relationship with Lana would take a toll on Kendall somehow. Sometimes he even saw the two friends as co-dependent with one another. He wasn't exactly sure what the term for their complicated relationship was, but he knew that one was as dependent on the other, as the other was.

A loving father-figure was lacking in Logan's life, as far as he was concerned, and he wondered if Kendall didn't somehow fill that void somewhat. He remembered from their childhood, that the type of parenting Logan received from his dad was nothing short of harmful. Logan always seemed eager to please the man, but he never felt he could. All he ever received in return for good grades and athletic achievement, was contrite advice and criticism.

James wondered if Kendall's opinion was so important to Logan, because of it. He wanted to please Kendall so much sometimes, that he wound up badly hurt when he knew Kendall was angry or disappointed in him. James sighed when he pulled up to the beach house. He wondered how Kendall had fared alone all day.

He entered to find Kendall back in bed. It wasn't like him to sleep in late, but he was likely emotionally exhausted after that morning. Besides, since the accident, he seemed stay home more and more. He wondered if his long-time friend was about to spiral into depression.

James knocked lightly on the door frame of the bedroom, and Kendall opened one eye. "Home already, James?" he asked.

"Already? It's four o'clock in the afternoon!" James cried.

"Uggh. Carlos and Logan still out?"

"Yep. Wanna' have a snack with me? I'm starving," James said.

"Sure." Kendall climbed from the bed fully clothed, and stretched.

They sat at the table making lunch-meat sandwiches, and listening to the radio. "I can't wait until we hear ourselves on that radio," James said wistfully.

Kendall nodded, then jumped when the phone rang. His whole body tensed. He hoped it wasn't bad news about Carlos or Logan.

"Hello?" James answered. "What? Why? What does that have to do with anything, Mike? I see. Yeah, of course I'll let the guys know," he said sadly, hanging up.

Kendall noted how pale James looked. "What is it?" Kendall asked warily.

"That was the club. They canceled our gig for Friday night."

"What?" Kendall cried. "Why?"

"Because Mike said it wouldn't be good for business right now, you know to have us play there, with all the rumors flying around. He said he was sorry."

"Some good that does!" Kendall said, leaping from his chair and knocking it to the floor. "This is going to fuck up Logan's head! He's going to blame himself!"

"Kendall, it is because of Logan and the accident. You know that. We're never going to get away from this," James moaned, hanging his head in his hands.

"Don't say anything to Logan until he tells us what went down with Lana," Kendall said quietly. "Give him that moment first, then we'll tell him," Kendall said.

"Okay," James said, his eyes filling up with tears of sorrow. "Kendall, I don't want to blow our one shot at the jukebox. I worked hard for this too. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but we'll think of something," he assured him. He put his arms around his friend's neck, and rested his chin on the top of his head. "We have to stay strong James, and we can never give up. I realize that now, more than ever."

So, things aren't going well as far as their music careers, are they? Sigh...

Thanks for reading and please review? It will make my day! =^.^=

Crumpet