'How's the car hunt?' He asked, pressing a drink into Connie's receiving hands before taking his seat opposite her on the sofa.
'Hm.' She stared into the murky depths of the drink before fixing her eyes back on him. 'Enough to make me consider public transport for the rest of my life.'
He exhaled noisily. 'Can't be great.'
'It's really not. If I upgrade, I pay 200 more on the insurance each month. I was trying to explain this to Dylan, who naturally was having none of it. He was adamant I should stick to the bike, which is ludicrous. Elle overheard and couldn't find a problem. Apparently, I'm so minted, it shouldn't even be an issue. If I so please, I can drive a limousine. Oh, to see the world through such-'
'Rose-tinted glasses.' Ethan finished, raising his eyebrows.
She raised an eyebrow, disgruntled momentarily at the interruption. 'Yes, exactly what I was thinking.'
'It's flattering, to an extent, to be thought of so highly.' He suggested.
'Mm. They're surprisingly naïve for such highly qualified adults.'
'Many have lived sheltered lives, supported by countless family members.' He reminded.
'And I haven't...'
'Uh, well, neither have I. I don't think it's a bad thing. It shows drive, and-and ambition, and great success to get where you are and have the assets you have. And all so independently!' He enthused.
She smirked a little, taking another sip. 'You, on the other hand, are wise.'
'So I'm often told.' He brushed his hands over his knees, noticing and concealing the cream mark proudly embellished on the denim. 'I say it depends. Not in all walks of life.'
'I spoke with one of your examiners yesterday,' Connie mentioned.
Instead of listening fully, Ethan noticed how pale and startlingly thin she'd become. A combination of greens and blues, protruding in all different directions, broke up the porcelain block of skin that was attached to the chipped 'best daddy' mug from which she sipped gingerly.
'Ethan,' She repeats, eyes locking with his.
'S-sorry. Away with the fairies. You spoke with... wait... how come?'
'He came for a little chat.' She smiled knowingly, glancing down at her lap.
'And?'
'Well, that would be telling.' She replied, refusing to disclose anything, much to Ethan's bemusement.
'What was the point in telling me, if you're not going to... well... tell me?!'
'Just letting you know. You'll find out on Friday, anyway.' She swept a loose strand of hair back with a clumsy hand.
That's three whole days of agonising wait. Dark horse, Beauchamp.
She stared vehemently for a while, before clicking her teeth and giving a small shake of the head. Ethan found this unnerving, almost as if she could read his thoughts.
'How's the baby?' She asked.
'Asleep upstairs, finally. The limpet.' He sighed, plumping a cushion on his knee. 'She won't settle ever since, not really. Only nods off in my arms, screams blue murder when she realises I'm not there.'
'Poor mite.' Connie sympathised, shaking her head slightly.
'I know. She's a sensitive soul, gets that from me. Onwards and upwards, though, hey?'
'Alicia's dad of all people, I-'
'Yeah. They've remanded him, the court trial is next week. Two counts of abduction. I don't extend my pity to him, it's all too sore. I wonder why he did it - I just want an answer or two.' He said blankly.
'Course you do.' She whispered. 'It isn't easy when someone takes your baby. Even though they probably do mean well, and love them very much, it's hard to accept it and forgive them for what they put you through.'
'Yes.' He agreed solemnly. 'Yes, spot on.'
'Anyone would think I knew your pain.' She laughed lightly.
His stomach lurched, and he adopted his embarrassed, all-too-familiar yoga hold - the why me? position (his head in his hands).
'I'm sorry. Lacking tact.'
'Oh, don't be. My wounds have healed long ago. Just don't let that baby out your sight ever again.'
'I won't.' He mumbled, finally looking up. 'I really won't.'
-x-
It was late and the room was packed out with roars of the loudest kind. Yet again, the world was asleep, but they, of course, were awake.
'Delilah, please, shhh...' He pulled the child into bed with him.
Tiny fists flailed at Ethan's chest, angry. He took a little hand in his, trying to stop the wild movement, but she was as determined as he and with the little physical strength she had, she managed to fight him off.
Her tiny body wriggled against his chest, manhandling to the ground his last dodge attempt to soothe her.
'Tell dadda all about it.' He whispered into the mousy curls by her temple. 'Come on, little one.'
Somehow, he made his way over to the bed and lowered them both down. The mattress sunk and creaked with the weight, where it had once bounced back. He tipped his head back, swallowing two paracetamol in one gulp. His foot flicked the switch of the lamp, and the room was filled with light once more.
His daughter's cheeks were red raw, a forehead and chin to match this hue were also noticed the longer the light was on. Anxious, he pressed his own lips to her forehead. Warm, but not hot. No temperature. Just sad. Tears like raindrops spattered onto the chest of her rosy sleepsuit, big green eyes swimming, fixed on his in a manner almost accusing.
'I'm trying my best, Delilah. I am.' His voice quivered, strong hand against her tiny back. 'You're not hungry. You're not thirsty. You're not poorly. I-I could cry too, but what would that do? Course I can't cry, I've got to be strong, haven't I? It would only make things worse. I know you're a sad little girl at the moment. Daddy's got you, you're safe. It breaks my heart to think for a single minute that there's something missing from your life. As long as I live, I'll try to tick as many of those boxes as I can. I will fulfill. I will care. I will jump through hoops to do so. Even if I go insane from lack of company, anything for you. I hope you grow to understand.'
Though his utterances meaningless to all but him, it felt a relief to air them. As if in sought of her own comfort, the baby pressed her head into his shoulder of her own accord. Little lungs let out exhausted, shuddery breaths, and so he cuddled her closer. If only babies could talk.
It felt so incredibly easy to take it all personally. All she did was cry, whinge, scream, sleep, and very occasionally afford him a smile on a good day. Other babies he saw, even those in a hospital bed, always were of a cheerier disposition. It was like Delilah really was miserable. Fed up with everything, and most of all, fed up with her dad who knew nothing about how to bring another human up from scratch and singlehandedly.
He laid her down in the crinkled space in the sheets, untouched from when Alicia had left. She seemed to settle. This made him pause a little.
'Where's Nelly, hey?' Ethan finally whispered. 'Let's find your Nelly.'
As he fumbled on the floor for the teddy, his fingers caught on a tag suspended on the bumpy seam of an ear.
He ignored the teeth marks his fingers crossed - more appeared each day ever since Delilah's gums had grown sore. It added to its character, he figured.
An address. Some digits. Several words.
He tore it off, screwing it up and tossing it aside. He settled the toy in the baby's arms. It was too late. His mind was buzzing with unexplored ideas, thoughts. The note had been so painstakingly attached to an object so precious. That carried meaning. Or maybe it was there to be noticed. The writing was surprisingly dissimilar from that note, the one he still kept in his drawer, but he recognised it all the same.
At once, he felt dizzy with the responsibility. Another task to do. Tomorrow, the police would be round. Next week, court. All of it too much.
TheBeautifulNerd: No worries! I know what it's like to be busy, all too well! Loving your stories. Thanks for your kind comments.
A: Thank you so much! Enjoy this one.
ReadingxTherapy: Eek I know! Was going to keep her away for longer but didn't think I could do it to myself as the writer haha. Sorry for slow update, grateful of your reviews as ever x
Infinityandone: We will see! Nothing is ever straightforward.
(A/N: Thanks for your continued support, let me know what you think! Things are going to pick up from here)