"Get up."
Poke.
"Come on, get up."
Poke.
The Augur groaned loudly, and rolled onto his side, squeezing his eyes shut. "... Give me a minute."
"I did, five minutes ago." Despite how foggy his mind was, he could hear the sly amusement in Tsuruko's voice. "And you fell back asleep."
Maybe… maybe if he didn't respond…
His mind drifted into sweet silence, and the stiff leather seat felt far more comfortable than it ever had before. This… this felt nice. Just another minu-
Poke.
"Fine." The investigator made a gruff sound halfway between a growl and a groan, and forced his stiff eyes open. He kicked the door to the van open, and clamored out of the vehicle, stretching his sore limbs. The morning sun might've been shining, but he sure as hell wasn't. All he wanted was some damn sleep, was that too much to ask for? He got nothing else, apparently!
A decent paycheck? No! They cut his pay so much, he had to find a new apartment!
A team? Nope! There were three of them. Three. The other three had been fired, and now, the people who were left had to work double time. Not like they were working that hard anyway, right?
Scheduling convenience? Now who needed that? If he wanted this witness interview, he had to be in Osaka at seven in the fucking morning, because he had a meeting at four in the afternoon, and apparently a hotel room, or even just a set of bullet train tickets, was just too much to ask for from the department. No, instead they just had to drive a total of twelve hours to and from the city, taking shifts driving to make sure the pile of junk didn't crash.
"It's a pretty morning, isn't it?" Tsuruko walked over from the other side of the van, casting a glance around the summer morning's scenery. She reached up, tying her hair into bun, and straightened her suit jacket. "I got to see the sun rise, and I tell ya, it's a real pretty thing to see."
"Uh-huh, sure." The Augur didn't even pretend to sound interested, his narrow eyes focused on his watch. 6:53. Seven minutes. Was that enough time for coffee? Just casting a glance around, there were three convenience stores in sight. Was it good coffee? No. But it was cheap, and it was quick.
"... Smile a bit, will ya?" His teammate playfully bumped shoulders with him, before opening the trunk of the van and rummaging through it. "You look like death on a bad hair day. Where's that positive attitude you always say we're supposed to have?" She pulled two briefcases out, gracelessly shoving one into the Augur's hand as she shot him a dry smile.
"'Professional'." He slammed the back of the van shut, his face completely deadpan. "Professional attitude. I never said anything about a 'positive' attitude."
Tsuruko snickered, and shook her head. "Let's just get going before you run off in search of coffee. And fix that attitude before the interview; you're gonna scare the witness."
He swore under his breath. "Without my coffee, that's guaranteed." Tsuruko chuckled, and despite himself, a small grin grew on the Augur's face.
The two quickly entered what could only be described as a desperate attempt to make a dull gray office building seem child-friendly, pushing open the door and stepping into the lobby. The walls were decorated with old, flaking paintings of flowers and cartoonish animals, and the Augur was quick to note the abundance of child-focused magazines scattered about the room, tucked onto shelves and laid on side tables. He paused beside on of the tables, grabbing up one of the magazines.
'Parents Digest: This month, 100 tips and tricks to teach your child great manners!'
The Augur sneered, and gracelessly dropped the magazine back onto the table. It seemed that the magazine had yet to improve its choice of topics. Not that he had read it in years.
"Shou?" He glanced up, only to see Tsuruko watching him with concern. "You don't have to be here if you don't want to be."
"I'm fine." He straightened his suit, and tried to ignore the bitter taste in his mouth. "We're here to get a job done."
Tsuruko frowned, not quite believing him, but nodded. "If you say so." She turned on her heel, and the two approached the front desk.
"Hello, how can I help you?" The lady behind the desk, perhaps in her mid forties and with a few graying strands in her hair, welcomed them with a polite smile.
The Augur did not smile back. "We have an appointment."
The nodded, and looked at the calendar behind the desk. "Your names, please?"
"Sasaki Tsuruko and the Augur, visiting under the request of the Criminal Affairs Bureau." Tsuruko spoke up this time, smiling friendly but speaking with an amount of formality and authority that only came after years of practice. Both her and her partner placed their I.D.'s on the counter, sliding them towards the woman for examination.
"Ok! Just give me one moment-" The woman perkily typed a few words into her computer, until her brain made the connections, and she froze, the blood draining from her face. The Augur scowled, quite familiar with that reaction. She quickly finished typing, and looked up at the two investigators, her smile significantly more forced than before. "So.. the two of you are here to interview Aimi?"
The Augur quirked an eyebrow. "Was she the one that was attacked?"
"Uh… yes, she was the one." The woman behind the desk shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but the Augur's cold gaze did not stray from her.
"Then yes."
There were a few moments of silence where the woman just stared at him, her jaw clamped firmly shut and her soft filled with nervous expectation. Was she expecting him to say something? He grimaced, his hands shoved in his pockets. Well, there was nothing more to be said. He had stated his purpose for coming.
"So!" Tsuruko slapped her hands together, shattering the silence in the typical boisterous manner she used to overcompensate for her compatriot. "Do you believe we'll be able to have that interview?"
"Oh, um..!" The poor woman practically jumped out of her skin, snapping into a flurry of half-panicked movement, and for a brief moment, the Augur's scowl softened. "Just give me a moment!"
For the Augur, this was just a normal, if somewhat annoying day. He had conducted so many interviews, sliced open so many corpses, he doubted much could phase him. But he doubted that this woman saw investigators on a daily basis. Crime, death, investigations; they were the things of murder mysteries and the evening news. He and Tsuruko, they were creatures of death and loss. Heroes might be angels, but he was the grim reaper. And so, for this lady…
The Augur held back a sigh.
He supposed he couldn't blame her. But, he wanted to be done with this as much as she did.
"Here we are." She tapped a few keystrokes, and the printer behind her sputtered to life. Snatching up the sheets, she waddled out from behind the desk, and gestured towards the hallway. "This way, Mr...?" She held up his I.D., quickly scanning over it, but he plucked it from her pudgy hands before she could speak.
"Augur. Just Augur."
She watched him for a second, her confused gaze traveling between the Augur and Tsuruko, before nodding. "I see. Well, I'm Mrs. Igarashi; I'm the primary administrator here, though I do also help take care of the children at times."
"I see." He slipped his I.D. into his pocket, and glanced at the papers in Mrs. Igarashi's hands. "... And those are?"
"Just some of the information you requested in your email." She passed the papers over to him, forcing herself to maintain eye contact. The Augur broke it for her, taking the papers and glancing over them. "It took a really long time to organize this interview, so I thought it was the least I could do."
"No need to apologize; The vast majority of issues occured on our end."Tsuruko interjected, slinging her briefcase over her shoulder and giving a thumbs up. Tsuruko was right, of course; almost all of the conflicts were on the investigators' end. But that didn't make three months pass any faster.
"You're busy people, I have no doubt, and our organization's scheduling issues did little to help." Igarashi smiled back, but only with a ghost of her former enthusiasm. "But, either way, please follow me." She turned on her heel, and began down the hallway.
"Of course."
There was a tap on his shoulder, and the Augur turned to see see his partner holding up her briefcase. "Hey, you can interview on your own, right? I'll try and work on the arms smuggling case out here."
Ah, of course. His frown deepened. Normally, Tsuruko would accompany into any interviews, just in case her quirk was required. But ever since the budget cuts… Well, everyone had to shoulder the consequences, and Tsuruko refused to let him take care of any more than her. He sighed, half out of exhaustion, and half out of sympathy, before nodding. "I should be able to, yes."
"Without traumatizing the witness?" She smiled wryly, clapping him on the shoulder. "She's just a child, and we both know your history with kids."
The Augur snorted. Yeah, you could put it that way. "I offer no guarantees." He shrugged her off, and turned on his heel, following Mrs. Igarashi. Now, about this report…
He quickly scanned over the page, cataloging the important details in his mind.
Name: Toga Himiko. Fourteen years of age, yellow eyes, naturally blond hair. 157 centimeters tall, 47.3 kilograms as of last year's health checkup. All technical information he had found in the medical documents from before. There were a few new details, though, one's he'd have to be certain to mark down. Any lead was a good lead. Or, at the very least, better than no leads.
She attended therapy sessions at Hyogo General Psychiatric Hospital, just a few streets south of the building he was in at that very moment. Toga Himiko was to see Dr. Teshima every tuesday, though the Augur had a sneaking suspicion that he was unlikely to find her there. She also attended Hyogo Junior High School, and was in her second to last year prior to this case. It was times like this that he remembered, this girl was only fourteen. The Augur felt sick at the thought, images of bloody and bitten cadavers running through his mind. He had dissected each and every one of them, and to know… to know this was done by a child. He shook his head as he read, trying to escape his own thoughts. Part of him hoped this entire interview was a wild goose chase, and that the actual perpetrator was someone else.
He quickly read through the rest of the paperwork, walking silently beside Mrs. Igarashi, but was disappointed by how little new information was contained within. He shouldn't have been; it wasn't like school reports and a foster care file would tell him where she went. But her trail had been cold for months; there hadn't been a single new murder that fit all the criteria of the others since April. She could be anywhere, and he didn't have the slightest clue where to start! The Augur clamped his mouth shut, holding back a growl.
His gaze froze over the last section.
'Family History'
All of his anger disappeared under a tidal wave of icy dread. He didn't want to read it. He didn't want to know. She was a target. A suspect. Nothing more. It was useless to his case. So he shouldn't read it.
But his eyes ignored him.
Biological father: Toga Hitomu, deceased.
Biological mother: Toga Fuyuko, currently incarcerated in Nagoya National Prison.
Biological siblings: none.
"Does she have any grandparents?"
"Huh?" Mrs. Igarashi glanced over, and it took the Augur a moment to realize he had said it aloud. He coughed, clearing his throat and speaking in a stronger tone.
"Toga Himiko; Does she have any extended family?"
Igarashi gave his an odd look. "Are you planning to interview them?"
"Perhaps, should it prove necessary." The lie slipped out easily enough. He knew he wasn't going to interview them. He knew he didn't need this information for the investigation. But, as a person, he wanted to know.
"I don't think it will, but…" The woman thought for a moment, collecting the various details from the various filing cabinets inside her skull. "She does, yes, as well as an aunt on her father's side."
"Why didn't they take care of her?" He tried, but he couldn't help the poisonous anger leaking into his voice. He knew he was in no position to judge, but… but to leave a child alone in the world? No mother or father, trapped in the hell that was the foster care system? He just couldn't imagine anything that could justify it.
Igarashi sighed somberly, and nodded in unspoken agreement with his anger. "I don't know all of the details; the social workers are the ones to handle that. But apparently the grandparents are both in too bad of a condition to care for a child, and the aunt…" She scowled, waving away the unanswered question. "Well, I can't legally explain the details, but even foster care is a better situation than her aunt's home would've been."
The Augur scowled, and folded up the papers, placing them in his breast pocket. He couldn't imagine what situation she was imagining, but sadly, not for a lack of options. He had seen many situations in the past he'd rather not have seen. Maybe he had just lived in the world of crime for too long, but… it wasn't hard for him to piece together a half dozen possibilities, none of which were pleasant. He just wished his brain would've asked for permission before doing it, because the last thing he wanted on his mind was sob stories about a girl he was supposed to be hunting down. He couldn't help her; the damage had already been done. So what was the point in trying to figure out what ghosts haunted her?
"Here we are." Mrs. Igarashi opened to door to a small office, furnished with various small, fluffy chairs and low lighting. Decorated with tie-dye canvass and lit by only a few orange lamps, it felt more like a druggies hang out room than a proper office, but the filing cabinets and desk tucked into the corner begged to differ. "This is my office, so feel free to interview her here as long as necessary. This is Suzuki Aimi." Igarashi gestured towards a blond girl in one of the chairs, who nervously waved in greeting.
"Thank you. This should only take a few minutes." The Augur shook Mrs. Igarashi's hand, before the plump lady left the office, closing the door behind her. Dropping himself down in the chair across from Suzuki, the Augur grunted, and flipped open his briefcase.
Let's see… Notepad… Pen… Recorder… One after another, he took out his materials, setting them on the wooden side table beside him. Anything else? The case file, that might be useful-
"Um, hello..?" The Augur's brown eyes shot up, glaring at the girl in front of him. A petite thing, she looked skinny as a twig, with dyed blond hair tied up in a ponytail and enough makeup on her pale face to make a kabuki actor look like they were only using natural undertones. Popping pink makeup, heavy eyeshadow, and a large bow in her hair, not to mention the leg warmers and large scarf. She scowled at him, watching with a mixture of irritation and boredom.
The investigator groaned internally, already dreading this interview. He hated kids; but trendy kids were even worse.
"Yes?"
"Who are you?" She twirled her hair around one finger, a crossed her legs.
"The Augur, a member of the Criminal Affairs Bureau." His tone was dry and flat, hiding his irritation and disdain underneath layers of professionalism.
"You're doing, like, an investigation?"
"Indeed." Well, at least she figured that out. Had Igarashi not informed her of the purpose of this interview?
"So why are you talking to me? I haven't done anything wrong. Well, uh… nothing that illegal." Suzuki fidgeted in her seat, forcing her scowl to stay in place even as her eyes, specifically avoided him.
Nothing 'that' illegal? Now what could that me- No, you know what, nevermind. Not his priority. Teenagers did dumb shit, and if that meant this girl drank underage or something, he really didn't care. He had more important things to deal with. He shook his head, groaning, and flicked on his recorder.
"This is the Augur, of the Special Investigations Squad. Today is June fourteenth. Please state your name, age, and occupation for the record."
"Like, my actual name?" The girl raised an eyebrow, as though the Augur was asking for her mother's maiden name.
"Your legal name, yes." He pulled out his notepad, and scribbled a bit in the top corner. Yep, the pen worked. Good.
"Tch." She clicked her tongue, and rolled her eyes. "Suzuki Aimi. But my Hero name's a lot cuter."
"Fascinating. Your age and occupation, please." Yeah, yeah, get all that snark out of your system now. Thank the lord Tsuruko was never like this. He would've been arrested for murder.
"Buzzkill." She gave him a deadpan stare, which he returned in kind. But then, a smirk crossed her face. "Almost fifteen, and a hero in the making!"
He opened his mouth to ask her to clarify, but… Nevermind. He honestly didn't care enough to play ball.
"Ok, ok, sure." Her satisfied smile died on her face as he ignored her. Good. So long as she answered the questions, he didn't care how she felt. "Let's see… Question one. What was your relationship with Toga Himiko?"
"Wait, this is about Himiko?" Any sense of composure Suzuki had went up in flames, her eyes wide and panicked. "I- I did not agree to this!" She shifted underneath the Augur's cold glare, halfway between pretending she was fine and shooting for the door.
The Augur simply leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and squaring his shoulders. "Please just answer the question."
"She's a crazed freak!" She tugged at her scarf, pulling it up. "What do you expect me to say?"
"What was your relationship with Toga Himiko?" Cold and dry. Leave no escape route, and they will sit. Leave nothing else to talk about, and they will answer the question.
There were a few moments of dead, oppressive silence. Had he been twenty years younger, the Augur would've felt the urge to say something. Now, he just enjoyed the silence while it lasted. Suzuki, on the other hand, was stiff and tense as an uncooked noodle.
A noodle? Really? He needed to get breakfast. And damn, a coffee would be nice. It didn't even need to be a cup of the good stuff. Just some coffee. Maybe a sandwich would be-
"Her friend, I guess?" The Augur's wandering eyes snapped towards Suzuki, who looked significantly smaller and less in control than before. "She, uh… she hung out around me and my friends a lot."
Thank the lord, she already cracked. Witnesses with a sense of pride drove him insane. Now, maybe, he could actually collect some useful information.
"Did she ever show any unusual behavior?"
"Oh, other then trying to cut my neck open?" Suzuki crossed her arms, and held her nose up, but the Augur kept completely still. Just let her steep in her own nervousness. Her eyes darted back and forth, begging for a reaction, but the investigator just lazily blinked. "... Uh, yes."
"What sorts of behaviors?"
"Well…" The girl chewed on the inside of her cheek, trying to recall the specifics. "... A lot of small things. Like, small, but totally freaky. Like, uh… she had this thing with drawing bodies. Not people. Bodies. And she'd always be labeling all of the blood vessels on it."
The Augur raised an eyebrow. Most certainly not 'normal' behavior, but far from confirming that this girl would be willing to kill people in back alleys. "Why would you consider this unusual?"
"I guess if it were someone else… then it wouldn't be a big deal." She bit her lip, and avoided his dark stare. "But this was Himiko. Like, this was the girl I saw playing with dead animals when she thought no one was looking. Oh, and I once caught her drinking her own blood. And her weird obsession with knives. She was super into them, like, she asked me to buy her one for her birthday. Specifically me. And-"
"Wait, wait, wait." The Augur interrupted her, beginning to jot down notes. "That part about about her drinking blood."
"Huh?"
"Please explain in more depth."
"Oh, uh…" The girl took a moment, attempting to restart her crashed train of thought. "Like, you know when you cut yourself, and kinda lick the blood away so you don't bleed on everything?"
"Yes." He quirked an eyebrow, but wrote it down anyway. 'Licked her own wounds; apparently of note to her friend.'
"It wasn't anything like that. I need to just say that first." She spat out the words, and the Augur scowled, scribbling out his previous note. "No, one time, I woke up in the middle of the night, and I heard this weird sound. Like, a slurping sound. I flicked on the lights, and…" Her words petered out, as though they simply refused to be spoken, and the Augur couldn't restrain a worried scowl. As much of a pain she was being, this was still a girl who had lived through a traumatizing experience, and he knew he wasn't being the most graceful at discussing the topic.
Sadly, he was no therapist, and he wasn't going to develop those skill on the fly. The only thing he could do was shat he knew how, and that mostly consisted of legal codes of conduct, and being brutally stubborn.
"Please continue."
"I…" She stumbled with her words, messily piecing them together as she went like a terrified poet. "I don't know exactly what happened. But it was everywhere. On her face. On the bed. The floor, too. Her teeth, her big-ass fangs, they were just doused in blood. Like, I didn't even know a person could have that much blood. Her arms were all torn up. I don't even know where she got the knife. And… and the scariest part, she was smiling."
Horror wasn't a strong enough word to describe what the Augur was feeling, and terror wasn't specific enough. No, what he felt, the twisted knot in the pit of his stomach, was an acidic concoction of shock, horror, and dread. The sort that one felt after seeing the rotting remains of a dog that was run over, all of its limbs crushed and bones snapped, yet having somehow managed to drag itself off of the road before it died.
He blinked, shaking himself out of his shock. He was an investigator, dammit! Focus! Get your job done! He pressed the pen into his notepad, trying to ignore how his hand was shaking. "How… How old were you at the time?"
"Like… twelve, I think?" She tugged at her hair, her hands desperate for a distraction. "After that, she started going to therapy. But… it didn't help."
"Please explain." The Augur spoke on autopilot, almost entirely focused on writing down notes. He could review his notes later, if need be, but he wanted to get these notes down here and now.
"Wait, are you serious? Like, did you even hear what she did? Look at what she did to me!" Without a moment of hesitation, she tore her scarf off, revealing her neck.
A neck covered in pale, jagged scars.
The Augur's pen froze, and he leaned closer, scanning the scars. The air was thick, as though breaking the silence would shatter reality itself, and with a slow hand, the Augur began writing.
'Heavy scarring on neck + nape; cause appears to be many slashing cuts rather than any stabbing cuts, much like other victims.' He hesitated for a moment, before tagging last thing to the end. 'No conclusive connection, though.'
Maybe, just maybe, Ms. Toga was innocent. Knives were common weapons, and despite the obvious similarities involving blood… He could still hope.
The girl was far too young for a life sentence.
"So, please describe the situation in which she attacked you." Despite his internal hesitation, he maintained a layer of cool professionalism.
"Well, like... Himiko had a crush on me, I think." The girl frowned, almost… guiltily? "It was one of those things you just, like, felt. And, a few months ago… She, uh, she confessed to me." He could hear the regret and fear mixing in her voice, an odd combination he hadn't seen very often. At least, not like this.
"Did you accept?"
Suzuki's eyes shot up, angry and defensive. "Do I look like a dyke? No, scratch that, do I look like a masochist? I value my life, thanks."
The Augur didn't respond, only delivering a harsh glare. After a few moments, the girl groaned, and continued.
"Anyway, no. No I didn't. And, she…" The regret returned to her eyes, dragging down her angry spirit. "She cracked, or something. Like, she just broke down crying. And then, she pulled a knife, and… do I really have to explain what's next?"
"I cannot force you to, no." As much as he preferred to know everything the witness knew, and was more that comfortable forcing every bit of information out of them most days… He wasn't sure he wanted to today. He sighed, and clicked off his recorder. "Well, Ms…" He glanced down at the file. "... Suzuki, thank you for your cooperation. Please have a good day." With weary, but well practice movements, the investigator began to pack his briefcase. That was a lot of information. Not any new leads, not other than the therapist, but… Even if this girl wasn't guilty, she most certainly had a lot of issues to confront.
And the fact that he couldn't help her… It made his chest hurt. He had never been able to help anyone. Not the murder victims, not the people whose lives had been ruined by criminals, not even the suspects themselves. When all was said and done, all that was left was a scattering of broken people, and the only thing he could do was… was throw one or two of them in jail.
He felt Suzuki's brown eyes burning into him. Without turning to look, he spoke up. "Did you have something to say?"
She just watched for a few moments more, before the Augur turned to face her. A reluctant scowl crossed her face, but she spoke without any of the fear or regret of before. "... She's scary, you know that, right? Like, literally insane."
The Augur narrowed his eyes, and leaned back against the desk, crossing his arms. "Yes, I am aware."
"Good. It's important. But…" Suzuki's voice softened. "... Can I make a request?"
A request? This better not be some call for revenge. He was an investigator, not an executioner. "That depends on the request."
She bit her lip balm-coated lip, and nodded. "Yeah, I know, but… Look, there's a lot wrong with Toga. But, I feel, deep down, she's still… she's a good person. A good person with a lot of issues. Issues that I did nothing to help."
"Oh?" It seemed this girl was not exactly the best of friends, was she? The Augur's frown grew larger.
"Be quiet." She spat back at the investigator, gritting her teeth. "Look, it's been a few months, and looking back, I realize I treated her like shit, ok? Is that good enough for you?"
All the man gave was a noncommittal shrug. He could answer, but he doubted his words would comfort her; even he knew forgiving was not one of the virtues associated with his name. "I didn't say anything of the sort."
"Uh-huh, sure." She glared at him, a much hotter and angrier sort than the sort the Augur had, before looking away and swallowing her pride. "Either way… Look, just-... Just bring her back. I don't know why you're looking for her, but she just needs help. So, please… When you catch her, please don't just lock her up. Help her."
"I can't do that." His response was quick and cold.
"What?" She whipped towards him, shouting. "You're not even going to pretend to think about it?"
"Ms. Suzuki, I don't need to think about it." He scowled, a stone settling at the bottom of his gut. He wished he could consider, but... "You're confusing me with a hero. I'm an investigator. You want me to save people. But my job… My only job is to catch them."
And he hated it.
)ooOoo(
Knives were comforting.
Himiko wasn't sure why, not really; they just felt right to her. She liked the way they fit so comfortably into the palm of her hand, like old friends holding hands. But that didn't quite capture how it felt. Maybe the most important part was… the familiarity? She only had two knives, but they meant more to her than any other. No other knife could take their place. Other knives always felt unbalanced and clumsy in her hands, like a new and unfamiliar toy. But toys are only worth the person that had given it.
And that's why, despite how large and alien this new knife was to Himiko, she wanted more than anything to learn how to use it.
"Ow!" Himiko yelped, the chef's knife clattering onto the cutting board as she tried to shake the pain out of her hand. She stared at her finger for a moment, small beads of blood seeping out of the cut, before kissing the crimson liquid away.
"Oh, be careful!" Mrs. Midoriya rushed to the girl's side as quickly as her short legs would let her, practically dropping her spoon in the pot of soup. "Is your finger alright?"
Mrs. Midoriya's evergreen eyes darted back and forth in mild panic, searching for anything and everything that could go wrong, and Himiko couldn't help but giggle. So was this where Izu-kun got it? She popped her finger out of her mouth, looking it over, before displaying it with pride. "Yep, all okay! Does it look cute?"
Mrs. Midoriya was quick to snatch up Himiko's hand, searching it for any other blemishes. But after half a minute of searching, she sighed, and gave a worried smile. "Of course you're cute." She nodded towards the sink, still not letting go of the girl's hand. "Now, let's get it cleaned out, just in case."
"Sure!" Himiko followed without complaint, rinsing out the cut and only whimpering a little when the woman wiped it with an alcohol swab. But soon, the bandaid was on, and the two arrived back at the cutting board.
"Now, remember," Mrs. Midoriya cradled the knife in one hand, and held the carrot in place with the other. "You have to be careful! Knives can be dangerous. Make sure to hold your hand like this." She rolled her her fingers up like a cat's paw, and Himiko watched with fascination. "When you hold it like this, you keep your fingers safe. Do you want to try?"
"Uh-huh!" Himiko excitedly took the knife from Mrs. Midoriya, hunching over the cutting board and chewing on her tongue in concentration. She curled up her fingers, and tried to hold the carrot in place like Mrs. Midoriya had shown her. She looked it over for a brief moment, making small corrections on her own, before glancing up. "Like this?"
"Well, almost…" The older lady reached out, readjusting Himiko's hands. Himiko knew it wasn't what she was supposed to be focusing on, but… she took a moment just to savor the feeling of Mrs. Midoriya's hands. They were round, and soft, and… and warm. Friendly hands.
Loving hands.
Himiko fought the urge to hug the woman then and there.
"There!' Mrs. Midoriya smiled warmly, and took a step back, before plucking up her wooden spoon and returning to the soup she had been working on. "Now, would you be a dear and finish chopping those vegetables for me?"
"Sure!" A genuine smile spread across Himiko's face, her chest feeling warm and happy. She gave a huge thumbs-up, and set to work chopping onions and carrots, humming to some melody only she could hear. Her gaze travelled over to the large, steaming pot of steaming brown soup, and the scents of simmering miso and fried tofu filled her nose.
The way her chest felt, at that moment, could only be described with one word: joy. Over the past few weeks, it had almost become a nightly tradition for her to help prepare dinner with the woman, and… and it felt special. Nice. Not like when she tasted blood, or even spent time with Izu-kun. No, it was a different type of nice. Like how a puzzle piece felt after finally being clicked into place. That thought only made her smile more.
But suddenly, a question popped into her head.
"Mrs. Midoriya, where's Mr. Midoriya?"
The woman paused for a moment, her hand frozen in mid-stir. There were a few moments of silence, the woman's eyes never leaving the swirling brown soup.
"Mrs. Midoriya?" Himiko frowned, concern and curiosity mixing together in her yellow eyes.
"Huh?" The green-haired woman shook her head, as though escaping a dream. She glanced up from the soup, smiling in that sad way Himiko didn't like seeing anyone smile in. The sort of someone who had given up. "Hisashi is abroad on business right now. Or… That's what he's told me." Mrs. Midoriya's gaze drifted away, leaving a heavy silence around them. Neither of them spoke, leaving only simmering soups and the clacking of a knife against wood to fill the silence.
He was on a business trip? Well, Himiko supposed it made some sense. But in the three months she had been with the family, she hadn't seen him once. In fact, Izu-kun hadn't even mentioned him. Did… did Izu-kun not like his dad? She knew some people did, as hard as it was for her to imagine. And he didn't seem like he could truly hate anyone. Then again… There was a lot about him she knew she didn't know. He was a horrible liar, but that didn't stop him from lying to her. Or just not telling her.
Himiko didn't want to think about that.
Or... Did Mr. Midoriya just leave them? That was… well, less hard to imagine. She bit her lip, and smoothly sliced through another onion.
"What about your family?" Mrs. Midoriya spoke up, her voice laced with forced cheerfulness. "Do you have any siblings?"
"Hm?" Himiko's head shot up, snapping her out of her own, cloudy thoughts. "Nope! But, I think Mama always wanted a son, too."
A more natural chuckle escaped Mrs. Midoriya's lips, the knowing sort. "So, are you expecting to have a little brother sometime?"
Himiko giggled, hiding her teeth with one hand. "No, I don't think so. But I wonder what it would be like to have one…" She brought a finger to her chin, her eyes wandering. Would he have blond hair too? And what would his quirk be? Himiko had Papa's honeydew-colored eyes, with thin, feline pupils, but maybe her brother would have deep red ones, like Mama. She'd never have a little brother, but she still wanted to hug him!
"Oh, could you go fetch Izuku?" Mrs. Midoriya tapped her spoon against the edge of the pot, shaking off just a bit of soup. "Dinner should be ready in a few minutes, so could you two set the table?"
"Okay!" The knife carelessly clattered onto the countertop, and the blonde was out of the kitchen almost instantly. Normally, Izu-kun would change his clothes after training and come out to the dining room to work on his homework, where Himiko would watch him out of the corner of her eye as she worked. But tonight, he had never come back out. She peeked around the corner, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes as she spotted the boy's closed door.
Now what could he be up to? A teenage boy, hiding alone in his room, with the door closed? She didn't need to think of possibilities for long. With girl over, nonetheless? Oh, how daring of him! She licked her lips, a plan already forming in her mind.
But then she noticed something.
Didn't his door have a plaque on it before? An off kilter frown spread across her face, and she cocked her head. It had been small and cute, with All Might's long, rabbit-like tufts of blond hair, and Izuku's name written across it in marker.
Slipping around the corner, Himiko tiptoed towards the room, a cat stalking towards what may or may not be it's next meal. The door opened with little more than a small 'click,' and she peered around the corner, only her curious eyes entering the room.
And there was Izu-kun, sitting in the middle of the room and packing boxes. Himiko slowly pushed the door open, but the green-haired boy was so engorged in his work that he didn't even notice. He slid a book off of a stack nearly as tall as he was, a concentrated frown twisting his lips as his emerald eyes traversed the description. She could see the gears spinning behind his eyes, lists of pros and cons being drawn up on some internal whiteboard, before he tossed the book in a box labeled 'donate,' and grabbed another book off of the pile.
Each of the girl's steps was carefully placed, navigating over and around the piles of hero merchandise spread across the floor. Each and every bit, the posters and action figures, the comic books and binders, even his curtains, were pulled down and neatly organized around the floor, waiting to be sorted into one of three boxes: 'donate,' 'trash,' or 'keep.'
The third box was completely empty, except for a few composition notebooks.
Himiko knew what he was doing. That was the easy part. But… why? She bit her lip, and stepped behind him, reading the book over his shoulder.
'The ultimate hero guide! Hero files, hero history, and, most importantly, a step-by-step guide for any young hero-in-the-making!'
"Any..?" He spoke softly, his voice filled with a heart wrenching mixture of betrayal and restrained anger. Izu-kun's hand was shaking, and and concern leaked into Himiko's eyes as she watched him shove the book in the trash box. Why would he do this? He loved heroes, didn't he? Himiko might not like heroes, but she liked Izu-kun, and… and seeing Izu-kun's wholehearted love and admiration of them, his boundless determination and steadfast hope, it had always brought a smile to her face. Her insides felt twisted and nasty, like a tangled up knot of rotting seaweed, and her lips refused to stay silent.
"Whatcha doin'?" She leaned right next to his ear, completely casual.
"Wha-!" The boy jumped, a scream escaping his lips as he spun towards her. "Toga? How did you get in here?"
"Walking, of course!" Himiko giggled, wiggling her toes as if she needed to prove their existence. Her humorous smile softened, weighed down by the dread in her stomach, and her gaze drifted towards the boxes Izu-kun had been packing. "Sooo… what's with the boxes?"
"Well, uh… I'm sorting." He scooted away from the blonde, trying to maintain what Himiko could only imagine he considered 'a safe distance.' She shifted closer, stubbornly choosing to ignore it. After all, she wasn't that dangerous. Not right now, at least.
"Why?" She plucked an All Might action figure out of the 'donate' box, fiddling with it as she watched the boy's brain rush to piece together answers. Right now wasn't the time to be thinking about it, but part of her couldn't help but enjoy seeing how cute he was when he panicked.
"... Well, I, uh, I think…" Izu-kun's tongue fumbled, attempting to find the words. "I think I've come to a realization. It's, uh, it's something you kinda already told me, in some ways…"
Something she had already told him? She glanced around the room, and up at the walls. They looked so blank and lonely without the posters, while the bookshelves were empty and sad. It… it looked like when she moved between families when she was younger. She hadn't done it for a few years, thankfully; families stopped choosing her after a while. Mrs. Igarashi never admitted it, but Himiko knew the medical section always scared away potential foster families.
But when she had been moving around… remembering it made her mouth taste bitter, and her heart feel hollow. Whenever she had to leave another home, give up on another family, accept another failure… her room had looked like this. Torn apart, everything she had brought or made ripped off the walls and sorted into boxes. Some to go with her. Most to go with the garbage collector. It looked like a cracked and abandoned hermit crab shell, it's occupant freshly torn out and eaten by a seagull.
What had she told him that would make him do this? And… did Izu-kun feel like that hermit crab?
A questioning frown crossed her face, and she sat down more comfortably, criss-crossing her legs. The green-haired boy wrung his hands, looking at the boxes merchandise for answers. His gaze flickered upwards, nervously asking for permission to continue, but she simply stared back, letting the unspoken question linger in the air. Which question? Himiko didn't know. There were far too many to ask.
"Toga, you said that heroes can't save everyone. But…" He let out a deep breath, and forced himself to meet Himiko's eyes. "But, in some ways, I think it's more than that. Sometimes they hurt people. Innocent people. And… and everyone just ignores it."
"Yeah?" She absently played with the All Might action figure, but her eyes never strayed from Izu-kun's face. There were a few moments of silence, Izu-kun staring at her in anxious anticipation. Was he expecting her to be angry? Or deny it?
"W-what do you mean, 'yeah?'" The words tumbled out of his mouth, confused and unrestrained. "It's wrong!"
"But… it's always been like that." Himiko rolled her head from one side to the other, a light frown on her lips. Why was he making such a big deal about it? It's what heroes did, really. Hurting people was their job. "You knew that before, didn't you? But you still wanted to be a hero."
"I know, it was so easy to see, but… But I ignored it. Just like everyone else..." Izu-kun shrunk away, as though trying to hide from Himiko's questions. Or maybe his shame? Himiko honestly couldn't tell. Hide from something, at least. But then, he steadied himself, and grit his teeth. At the sight of the steel in his soft green eyes, Himiko perked up a bit, her heart skipping a beat. "And… And I can't accept it! Heroes shouldn't be allowed to act like villains just because they're special!" Izu-kun raised his voice, his typically nervous demeanor melting away to reveal layers of bitter rage. "Heroes are supposed to protect people, but... they're always hurting people! And I hate it!"
His outburst was met with dead silence, the girl staring at him in shock. He was shaking, his eyes filled with murderous intent like a wine glass overflowing with blood. Izu-kun was such a quiet boy, a nervous little thing that had never so much as raised his voice before. He was the sort that would rather let her win than risk hurting her, and would gladly let someone cut in front of him in line. He was the soft-spoken, gentle sort that Himiko so adored. So, to see him like this, so furious and aggressive…
… He really was a wolf, wasn't he?
She frowned, but it was the thin sort that hid her thoughts rather than showed them, and closed the distance between them. Cupping his cheek with one hand, she whispered right into his ear.
"... Do you hate heroes?"
"Huh?" Izu-kun stiffened like a board, the anger in his voice fizzling. "N-no! I... I just…" His words petered out like a sputtering engine.
"I'd understand if you do." Her words were smooth and sharp, like a knife being dragged across Izu-kun's skin. "I hate them."
"W-what?" She could hear the fear in his voice, the hesitance.
"Heroes are liars, Izu-kun." Himiko's smile disappeared, and a growl slipped from her lips. "They say they'll protect you, but they won't. They promise to make things easier, but they just make things harder. They-" Her voice caught in her throat, and her eyes burned.
Don't cry.
Don't cry.
Crying isn't cute.
He won't understand. Even if he says stuff like this, he can't understand. No one understands. If she told him, he'd abandon her. Just like everyone else had. And… and she didn't want that.
"... They'll smile, even as they tear away everything you love." The choked back the tidal wave of words threatening to pour from her mouth.
She pushed herself off of him, turning to leave. She shouldn't have come. Not to his house. Not to train him. Not to that building where she had met him. She should've just stayed away. Izu-kun might think heroes aren't perfect, but he's bound to be just like everyone else. She had become so obsessed with finding someone that might understand her, that she forgot no one could. She was a monster, remember? She could only hurt people.
Himiko knew how this would end. It always ended the same way. In a back alley, covered in blood. The person that, just days before, had been so kind and friendly, screaming and crying. Calling her insane. Calling her a monster. She clenched her jaw, and tried to ignore how much her eyes stung.
Was it wrong to want someone to love her?
Himiko began stumbling towards the door, bound for… somewhere else. Away. Somewhere where she could be alone. Somewhere that sold popsicles.
But then, a hand caught her wrist.
"If that's how you feel… w-why did you want to help me become one?" The wolf from moments before was gone, his confidence having dissipated. There was the Izu-kun she knew. The one that fumbled with his words. The one completely uncertain in himself. The one that jumped at shadows and bought her snacks every day.
The one she was bound to hurt eventually.
"Because…" His eyes. His tears. The way she could see his soul aching through all of his little twitches and tongue bumbles. The clouds that filled his eyes and the words poured out in red ink. "Life looked too hard for you."
They were the same. She knew they were the same. They had been laughed at, kicked around, and abandoned. But they were different, too. He was a victim, but she was just a monster. Tears, salty and hot, rolled down her cheeks.
"Toga… Y-you're right." He pulled at her arm, but she refused to budge. Refused to look at him. Refused to show him her makeup-stained face. "Life is hard. And I owe you my life."
"What?" She whipped around, not bothering to cage the wild fear and desperation in her voice. She tried to pull away, but he just wouldn't let go, his grip as solid as stone.
"If it wasn't for you, I would've jumped that night." Himiko squeezed her eyes trying to shut him out. "And, even if it wasn't that night… it would've happened eventually. But you gave me a chance. And I want to use that chance to make thing better for… for people like us."
She didn't want to hear this. It couldn't be real. His voice might sound genuine, but the words could never be true. He might be alive, but not for long. Her love was toxic, melting anything it came in contact with. Friends, family, crushes. All of them, they threw her away after they realized what she was. She didn't want to hear his lies, the ones that told her that she could love someone. Because she couldn't. To pretend she could… It was just like the syrup she forced down her own throat, sweet and happy and fake.
But that one word.
'Us.'
She looked past her pain, and at the boy in front of her. Large, green eyes, laced with concern, and a face that was so red he might have had a fever. The boy that… that didn't want her to leave.
She stopped pulling, but he still didn't let go.
"Right now, heroes are all about power, and money, and popularity, and…" Izu-kun swallowed, choking down the emotions that were flooding the room. "... And that's not what being a hero is about. Being a hero is about helping people, and making the world a better place. Making it an easier place to live in. So… When I become a hero, I'm going to do just that."
Himiko hated heroes. She hated how hypocritical they were, and self-obsessed, and how, even after all of that, they still failed to do what they promised. When Izu-kun had said he wanted to be a hero, she prayed that he might understand that. Over the past few months, that hope had been dying, even as Izuku got stronger. That feeling of being alone, that hole in her heart that screamed for blood, it only grew larger and larger the more time she spent with him. She had gambled on a snowball's chance in hell. And yet, miraculously, she had won.
Words couldn't describe the elation in her chest at the thought.
"Promise me." She grabbed back, dragging him closer. Her nails dug into his flesh, and her large yellow eyes burrowed into his soul.
"Huh?" He caught his balance, their faces only centimeters apart.
"Promise me you'll do it. That's you'll make the world better." A large, toothy smile split her face in two. "No matter what."
He stared at her for a moment, trying to recover from the mental whiplash. But then, he steeled himself, a determined smile coming to his face. "... I promise."
She had to stop herself from stabbing him then and there.
Himiko had done it.
She had found her wolf.
A/N: *calmly puts down a coffee cup, and points at it*
Do you see this? I've had… seven. Yeah, seven of them. I think. I am so sleep deprived and over caffeinated, I no longer experience petty sensations such as "tired." But the writing schedule has been maintained. I'm considering making a Twitter or something, just to keep you guys updated in case I die of exhaustion or something. Just in case. Thoughts?
I wrote this in two days.
8500 words. In two days.
I'm done.
*I blackout before my head even hits the desk*
AO3:
This is such a toxic relationship: I have a thing for toxic relationships, I think; the sort that's messed up on every level, and is morally abhorrent, but… works? I'm gonna lay this straight out: don't dream of being in this relationship. It's not supposed to be a healthy relationship. And thus, while writing, I'm not meaning to make this seem like a healthy relationship. But… I want to still make this a *good* relationship, if that makes sense?
Draph91: Uh… no. Or, at least, not yet. Patience, my friend; we all want to see Izuku snap. But good things come to those who wait.
FFN:
GhostOnyx777: Jesus, that's a lot of theorizing! I love it! But, as much as it breaks my heart to say it, I can't answer any of your questions… They're ALL major spoilers. I'll just say this: This story has three main characters, and all of them have major arcs planned out for them. I have this big poster in my room, a solid 130-some centimeters long, that is just DOUSED in layers upon layers of ink marking plots, arcs, and major events. I'd show you proof, but that in itself is spoilers galore.
LordGhostStriker: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELL YEAH CHANGE IS A-COMIN'!
TeamDimension8: Thank you, but… You're honestly giving me more credit than I deserve; This ain't gold, and I have no doubt that there's someone out there who can write it better than me. I'm just a guy with a laptop, way too much free time, and possibly the most pessimistic outlook on life a person can have without deciding to learn how to tie a proper hangman's noose. Oh, and a messed up sense of humor. That too. But, I'm gonna try my best to keep it up! One of the reasons I decided to write this was, I'd be reading a villaindeku fic, and Izuku would do something crazy and insane out of the blue, and I'd just be sitting there like… "Huh?" Like, that wasn't Izuku. That was a misery-porn self-insert power fantasy. And, is that wrong? No! Write what you wanna write. But I wanted to read a story that had complicated moral connotations, the sort that will make a person sit down and ask "... Could I do that? If put in those circumstances, what would I do? And… what does that mean about me?" So, I thought, if I want to read that, then maybe others do too? And here I am, almost three months later, doing… well, hopefully doing just that. I'm honestly not sure yet. So, this ain't gold. It ain't meant to be. It's just meant to be food for thought.
On a final note… Jesus, that's a lot of comments. And not just a lot; a lot of really encouraging and well thought out comments. I feel awful, but I really just can't respond to all of them. I owe you guys a story, and that means I gotta write more than just responses. But I'll promise you this: I'm gonna try and to respond to a few in every chapter, especially if I haven't seen you post before. I'm so sorry, and thank you for all of the support!