A/N I warned you. It's rated M for a reason. If you can't get into a rated R movie, you shouldn't be reading this.

Chapter song: It Ends Tonight – All American Rejects. Additional listening: The Kill – 30 Seconds to Mars, Memory – Sugar Cult, No Light, No Light – Florence & the Machine

Your subtleties, they strangle me. I can't explain myself at all. And all the wants, and all the needs, all I don't want to need at all.

Chapter 10

Striding over to the bed, Dean carefully lowered Bella to the mattress. It was firm and unyielding, so Bella's tiny frame bounced up and down. Dean started unbuttoning his shirt, advancing toward her. She looked up at him from under her lashes, biting her lip. Dazed, consumed by his bare chest and the crippling need to feel his skin on hers, trace his tattoo with her tongue, Bella froze. Mistaking her hesitance for rejection, Dean bent down and angrily threw his shirt back.

"Sorry. We've both obviously had too much to drink."

Bella leaned forward, her eyebrows knitted together, shaking her head. "No … I …"

Dean turned away from her, waving a dismissive hand. "Let's just pretend like it didn't happen. It's been a while for me. You were just there, Bella. If I had my choice..." he swallowed the bitter taste filling his mouth before he spoke his next words "...it wouldn't have been you."

Fire burned in her eyes, rage swirling deep in her belly, rising up her chest and forcing her to her feet. She stalked right over to him and got in his face, making him look at her. A vein bulged from Dean's neck as he strained, unwilling to see the hurt hiding behind the anger in her eyes. Bella reached out and gripped his belt buckle, pulling him into her, feeling his hardness pressing into her.

Her lips brushed against his earlobe as she whispered seductively, "Your body tells a different story, Dean."

He let out a grunt. "Don't take it personally, sweetheart. You get a pair of tits and legs close enough to me, I'm gonna react."

She dropped her hand from his belt, and Dean let out a sigh, relieved that she had given up. Not expecting what happened next, Dean's eyes shot open. Bella had removed her hand, only to cup his balls and give them a firm squeeze.

Pursing her lips, eyebrows raised, she spoke low and breathy. "And now? How are you reacting now, stud?"

His heart beat frantically against his chest and all the blood that had rushed to his cock was boiling, coursing through his veins, igniting an inferno. Letting out a growl, Dean gripped Bella by the shoulders and tossed her on the bed. Quick, calculated steps brought him to her. Dean looked down at her panting, her chest heaving. The shirt she had cut away earlier had ridden up and revealed her flat stomach. The way her abdomen rose and fell with each desperate breath, the creamy skin taunting him, Dean's instinct took over. He leaned over Bella, the mattress dipping as he placed his knees on either side of her small frame. He gripped the frayed edge of the shirt in his fists and gave it a firm yank. The worn material gave way easily and was now torn down the middle, revealing Bella's ample breasts encased in black lace. Her nipples pebbled and strained against the bra, and she moaned at the sensation. Dean caught a glimpse of the hardened nubs through the barely there fabric. Another growl escaped his throat and without bothering to take her bra off, he ripped the straps down her shoulders, pulling one breast out of the cup and taking it into his mouth. His lips weren't gentle; they were ferocious. He nipped with his teeth and gripped with his hands, marking the sensitive skin. Bella bucked off the bed, not from pleasure but shock. All the times she had imagined being with Dean, there was always a sense of gentleness, reverence even. She had just chalked it up to being so out of touch with her emotions. The last time she was in love … well, she wasn't even sure she could call it that, but it had left her so broken, she never ventured down that path again. Sometimes the heart was stronger than the mind and at twenty-six she was traveling down a lonely road. Maybe it was time to thaw out the ice around her heart. In her school girl fantasies, Dean was passionate, full of love and life. As he hovered over her, there was no light in his bright green eyes. He was taking her, possessing her. Maybe she had asked for it, the roughness, the primal urge to just have … After all, she grabbed him by the balls. In an effort to put him in his place, she only urged him on.

It wasn't that she had never had rough sex. Sometimes she even craved the extra oomph. Now, with her fantasy finally becoming a reality, it was all wrong. She had already recognized their similarities, two lost souls, but it was more than that. Every time Dean was near it was like she was hooked up to a defibrillator, the Winchester jolting her back to life.

He tore his mouth away from her breast and his lips viciously claimed hers, teeth clanking together. Desire warred with pride; her body responded while her heart told her "not like this." Hands groped up and down her naked torso, squeezing her hips. Placing wet kisses up and down the column of her neck, Dean paused just below her earlobe. Bella let out a shiver and Dean sunk his teeth in leaving another mark on her. He'd always been a ladies' man, but it was almost as if he was having an out of body experience. Some type of animalistic need to have her, make Bella his, took over. Dean knew it was wrong. Every fiber of his being told him she deserved better, but he couldn't stop.

The last thread of sanity he had been holding onto snapped. He thrust his hips into her. She felt his hard length pushing against her inner thigh, and despite the wetness pooling between her legs and the involuntary moan that slipped past her lips, she found the strength to push him away.

"Dean, stop." It was physically painful to utter the words, her body still vibrating with need, but the hammering of heart hurt more. The harsh beats refused to let her believe it was this way or not at all. She didn't know the extent of Dean's deal, but even if he didn't have long left in this world, he had more to give her than a night full of hate.

His lips continued to search for her as his hand settled between Bella's legs, rubbing back and forth, the friction from the denim eliciting another involuntary moan from her.

She placed her hands firmly on his chest and managed to shove him. "I said stop."

Dean backed away and she moved toward the headboard, leaning up on her elbows, trying to catch her breath. She gripped the blanket on the bed and pulled it up to her neck trying to not feel so vulnerable.

When she finally found her words, she asked, "What the hell was that?"

He didn't answer her at first. The blank look on his face unnerved Bella. Dean blinked a few times and when his eyes found her, the deadness she had noticed before was gone, replaced by anger.

"What's the matter, sweetheart? I'm not a vampire … or a demon, so you don't want it?" He looked her up and down, seething. "You need the thrill of the supernatural. Is that the only way you can get off?"

This whole time he'd been trying to keep her safe from the very thing he despised, the very thing that ruined his life, and here she was running right to it, wanting it, craving it. Dean knew they could never really be together, but that didn't take away the sting of rejection. He wasn't good enough for Bella; that much was evident. But a vampire? Casey?

"That's why you're here, isn't it? Playing good little hunter … You're trying to find your next high, the next big bad to …"

Bella flexed her jaw, fury burning in her eyes. "Don't …"

Dean wouldn't stop. He came around the edge and pulled the cover down, stripping away her security blanket. She needed this. She needed to be pushed so hard she'd run away and never come back. Bella was too stubborn to willingly leave, but if Dean said the right things, hurt her in such a way she wouldn't have a choice. Self-preservation was a powerful thing. Then again, Dean didn't have any and chances were Bella didn't either.

"Truth hurts, don't it, sweetheart? How Charlie could even look at you knowing you were fang-banger."

Bella's fist collided with his jaw. She had gotten him good, his lip instantly splitting, a trickle of blood running down the corner.

Dean smirked. His tongue darting out to lick the blood away. "Not bad. You've got a mean right hook."

Her nostrils flared, her body vibrating with anger. Through gritted teeth she said, "I. Hate. You."

A dark laugh filled the room. "Join the club."

No one hated Dean more than he hated himself … especially at that moment.

~o~

"Where's Bella?" Sam rounded the corner after Dean had slammed the door and noticed he was alone.

"Who the hell knows?" he spat, walking past him.

"Wait. You two were in Buffalo together, right? What … did you just leave her there?"

Dean spun around, glaring at Sam, sending him a silent warning. "She left. Okay?"

Without waiting for anymore questions, Dean stalked up the stairs. A loud bang echoed through the house, causing Bobby to come out of the back room.

"What's up his ass?"

Sam walked over to the window and pulled back the shades. "Where's Bella's cruiser?"

Bobby ran a hand over his beard. "Jodie sent that deputy to come pick it up. What's going on?"

"Bella didn't come back with Dean."

Narrowing his eyes at Sam, Bobby asked, "What do you mean she didn't come back with Dean? He drop her off at home?"

"No …" Sam shook his head. "I don't think so. All Dean would say was that she left."

"Balls!"

~o~

Once Bella hitched a ride back to Sioux Falls, she had a decision to make. Did she stay and just avoid the Winchesters, Dean particularly, or did she pack up and leave and find somewhere else to start over? Then there was option three. Keep on hunting because it was in her blood and she never felt more alive than she did when she worked the case with Dean. The nagging voice piped up, telling her it probably had to do with Dean and not so much the case. Bella chose to ignore it.

She trudged up the stairs to her apartment, placed her keys in the bowl on the table, and started to pace. The twenty hour bus ride did nothing to cool her temper or dull the ache between her legs. There wasn't anything that could right now. Usually she'd go to the gym and beat the shit out of speed bag. What she really wanted was to beat the shit out of Dean, and then jump his bones.

He was completely out of line and his roughness wasn't what she had expected, but it didn't make her want him any less. Just being near him breathed life into her deepest hopes. Bella gave up a long time ago; the loner life was a hell of a lot easier than putting herself out there, but a part of her still wanted that … wanted someone to love her, wanted someone to make her feel like it was worth it. Something about Dean called to Bella. If she was being completely honest, she had felt it back in Forks.

When she realized relief would never come, she sat down at the kitchen table and started up her laptop. Habit had her perusing police files in surrounding areas. Her caseload was never enough before she moved to Sioux Falls; so she took it upon herself to go searching for her own cases, even if that meant stepping on someone's toes. Tom had showed her how to hack into their files, so all she had to do was work the case under the radar. Often times Bella was able to corner the criminal activity so it ended up in her jurisdiction. Then she'd close the case and no one was the wiser.

Nothing had caught her eye, so she extended her search. Tom had created this nifty piece of software. It was actually a search engine. If Bella wanted to go after identity theft, she could. If she needed something more "hands on," she could look up some domestic disputes and show the asshole exactly how it felt to be a human punching bag.

Bella entered in some search parameters and let it do its thing while she poured herself a drink. She went over to the cabinet and took out the top-shelf whiskey. In a little rocks glass, she gave herself a healthy serving and tossed it back. The expensive alcohol usually didn't burn, and she quite liked the taste. Tonight, however, her lips puckered and she scrunched her nose because it didn't taste a thing like the Jack Daniels on Dean's tongue. She dumped the rest of the liquid down the sink, disgusted with herself more than anything, and went back over to the computer.

Expecting not to find anything, Bella was pleasantly surprised when a case popped up in Philadelphia. It was a little far from home, but she could use the distance. A girl not much younger than herself disappeared from an apartment building. It struck a nerve for a few reasons. One, it wasn't the first girl. Over the past eighty years, women had vanished from the same building. Cops never realized the pattern because it only happened every decade or two. The second reason Bella wanted to work this case was because all the women had brown hair, brown eyes, and lived alone. Initially, Bella would have thought she had a geriatric serial killer on her hands, but now she knew better. Chances were she was dealing with some type of supernatural scumbag. It only made her want this case worse.

~o~

After a quick phone call, Bella was on her way to the airport catching a redeye to the city of brotherly love. She didn't need to pull many strings to get into the apartment building. She had picked up a newspaper at one of the stands outside the airport when she landed in Philly. It was right there in plain sight: a classified ad for a recently renovated one bedroom apartment. Bella had found her in.

She called the landlord after she checked in to her motel room. The earliest she could see the apartment was later the next day. Bella didn't have a real sense of urgency. It would give her time to put more pieces together.

Around two o'clock in the afternoon, Bella met a short, pudgy, balding man outside of the apartment building. She tried not to get too creeped out by the way he looked her up and down. She managed to keep a smile on her face as he boasted about the apartments appeal. Needless to say he didn't mention the recent death.

They ascended the stairs and paused in front of the door. Bella's brows knitted together when she heard a rustling behind her.

"Everything okay?" the landlord asked.

Bella paused a minute, looking around the corner before turning to face him and smiling. "Yep. This place is just so convenient."

He nodded proudly. "It's a great building. Fixed it up real nice. The apartment comes furnished too."

She tried not to shudder at the thought of sleeping in a dead girl's bed. "It's so spacious. You know, my friend told me I absolutely have to come check it out, and I have to admit, she was right. You did a really good job with this place."

The landlord and Bella spun around when they heard footsteps move across the hallway.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Bella's eyes met Dean's and she forced a smile. The landlord watched the exchange carefully. She walked over to Dean and ran an affectionate hand up and down his arm, pausing at the nape of his neck to play with his hair.

She placed a kiss on his cheek. "There you are, honey!"

E/N - Probably not the lemon you were expecting? I know I'm a tease. Did you really think it would be that easy for these two? Feel free to complain in a review. See you soon!