Sorry it's been so long. Life and all and time between update. but here's almost 3000 words of messaging for you form me and general zargon!

We don't own these guys. :(

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Chapter 10-Meetings, Bullseye, and Loki's Prank Formula!

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Apology accepted. Jan, you can stop stinging Loki, and by the way, you left your purse in my room. Want me to bring it to you?
Hank

Jan: Nope, I'm coming over to get it right now! ;)

Riiiight, I think that's enough innuendo for one night. Clint, is the meeting at 6 am or 6 pm? -Natasha

Thor: Fenrir and Vali have left, though they said to thank everyone for the good time, and Fenrir said that he wishes to challenge Bruce to a rematch sometime. Apparently Fenrir lost rather badly at Mousetrap.

How do you lose badly at mousetrap?
Clint

Bruce: By losing several times. I forgot people with thumbs had an advantage. That was a mistake on my part.

The meeting is at 6 am people.
Coulson

So...Tony going to have like a gallon of coffee, Spider-Man's going to be twitching because he goes to high school so he won't have much time, Loki will be annoying sleepy people, and I have to find a way to wake up at an ungodly hour? Got it.
Natasha

Okay, first of all, I want to say that I have no freakin' IDEA how that glue got on Fury's chair. I swear, I had nothing to do with either that or the skateboard!
Clint

You know, Pep, that entire debacle just reinforces my point that early morning meetings are to be avoided at all costs. -Tony

Pepper: For once, Tony, I agree with you. *Sigh* Okay, who all is still covered in glitter?

The above has been seconded by Hank Pym, Natasha Romanoff, Darcy Lewis, and Loki

Jan: Don't worry Hank, I'll help you clean the glitter off. ;)

Sadly Spider was also glitter-covered, and some got through his mask. So..he ended up going to school with pink glitter in his hair.
On my end, the glitter was actually NOT ME (the glue was, though). Whoever thinks they are going to out-prank the God of Mischief has another thing coming!
Loki

He's just mad about the glitter in his perfect hair. Jan, I like your idea for de-glitter-ing boyfriends-totally going to use it.
Darcy

Well, there's two Avengers, one sort of Avenger, and an intern we won't see for a few hours. I'm going to go investigate the rocker-powered skateboard (seriously, whoever did it used all the wrong propulsion chemicals and should be ashamed).
Tony

Pepper: Agent Coulson, as the effective "den mother" of the Avengers, I must insist all meetings take place at lunchtime on the weekends and four o'clock during the week (to avoid Spidey's school time). Spider-Aunt, Happy, and the whole present team agree with me. I have also sent this to Fury as a memo.

I'm never going to live that down. I think I'm just going to drop out and become a full-time superhero. That would be less painful than the mocking to come about the pink glitter in my hair. Is SHIELD hiring?
Spider-Man

Jane: I think I speak for everyone, especially Spider-Aunt, when I say that if you drop out of school, we will drag you back kicking and screaming. Just so you're warned, Spidey.

Point taken, Pepper, and in light of this recent fiasco, I feel I must agree. I'll force through the paperwork and ensure that Fury reads that memo. -Agent Coulson

Natasha: Tony, don't you dare try and improve the skateboard. I think it worked well enough as it is.

Err...has anyone seen Barton recently? I was looking for him (weekly personal prank, I didn't want to break my streak) and I cannot find him. At all. Ask Thor and Spider-Man, I can find ANYONE when I want to.
Spider, I agree with Miss Foster. And since I know your ID, I could actually DO that.
Loki

Last thing he did was mention the skateboard...do you think someone kidnapped him because he realized something?
Pepper
PS: Tony, you may investigate (not improve, INVESTIGATE) the skateboard.

Pep, the skateboard blew up when I went near it. I would like add that no I did not make it blow up before anyone says I did.
Tony

Coulson: We clearly have a saboteur here. Meeting in the den before dinner. Yes Stark, I know you consider two a day to be cruel and unusual punishment, but we're doing it.

Thor: It is true. No one was ever able to beat Loki at hide-and-seek.

Okay, okay! I won't quit school, but I get dibs on the chocolate ice cream to help ease the emotional pain from the taunts.
Spider-Man

Do you think Clint disappeared because he knew Loki was going to play a prank on him? -Darcy

...Is Malekith back? He could be taking a different approach to attacking us. Just thought I'd toss the possibility out there.
Dr. Banner
P.S. Okay, who painted my meditation room bright pink with puke green polka dots?

Ah, well, you see...I may have banished Malekith to another dimension (Dr. Strange helped a bit-it was a dimension I was unfamiliar with), so I doubt it was him.
Loki
PS: Fine Spider, but don't hog the sprinkles or sugar cones.

Coluson: People-focus: Clint has officially been gone for six hours with no word. He would have at least called me and left a contact method in case the team had to go fight. We have five super-geniuses here and the rest of you are plenty bright (for this kind of thing at the very least), so brainstorm!

Five? Wow, that's half the team, right? So that's Tony, Loki, Hank, Bruce and...I'll assume Spider-Man since he's plenty smart when he's not wise-cracking at something that can eat/step on/kill/maim/etc him.
Steve
PS: Loki, just because Clint is missing does not mean you have to prank three other people instead.

Tony-And how does 1 Clint prank = 3 Other pranks? Is there a system or something? I mean, you can get oddly OCD (for a God of Mischief) about some things, so there might be.
Oh, yeah, I hacked the tracker Fury put in Clint's collapse-able bow. It's still here. And he usually doesn't leave anywhere without it.

I think we're kind of getting off topic here, but now I'm wondering about the prank system too...
Thanks for including me in the roster of super-geniuses! :)
Spider-Man

Hank: I shrunk down and searched Clint's room (it was locked for some reason), and barring the usual mess of casually tossed shirts and candy wrappers hidden under the bed, there wasn't any sign of a struggle.

Congratulations, Loki, you've officially confused the rest of the team without even really doing anything. -Natasha
P.S. Are the arrows that go with the bow still here?

Jane: I asked the guards who were on duty when Clint disappeared, and they never saw him leave. Do we have any enemies with teleportation abilities? Excluding those who were tossed in alternate dimensions of course.

Well let's see, there The Enchantress, Kang could teleport himself with future tech, Mandarin, I think Baron Mordo but if strange is on Earth then he doesn't bother us...
Also, we shouldn't rule out super-stealth abilities.
Tony

You're welcome. Spider, I'll explain my system if you swear yourself to secrecy.
Loki
PS: Upon my own search of Barton's appallingly messy quarters, I discovered several peanuts on the dresser, which is odd. He's not allergic, but I do remember him saying once he doesn't eat just plain peanuts.

Shit. How many of you have heard of Bullseye?
For those who haven't-he's a master killer who killed his last jailers using peanut shells as weapons (he is literally that good). And he hates Clint because Clint is a better shot than him. Avengers-I'm coming on this mission!
Coulson

Consider myself sworn. But I make no promises if I get to talking about it while hyped up on painkillers at some point! Seriously, those things are like truth serum...
Spider-Man

Thor: Do you know where this Bullseye is, Son of Coul? If he hates Clint as much as you say, we had best hurry.

Okay, in the interest of not getting killed, I vote the Avengers best at dodging or taking hits are placed on the front line, and the rest of us go find and rescue Clint. Any objections? No? Good. –Jan

Sending the three possible coordinates to your communicators now. Teams of three. This message will also show up on your communicators.
Coulson

*Due to the nature of this mission, we are once again converting to texting*

Loki: All right. Spider, Captain America, and I have a place by the docks. How cliché (and you people remember I'm not technically and Avenger, right?)

Tony: I'm at some warehouse with Hulk, Wasp, and Widow. So that leave Thor, Coulson, and Hank to check that abandoned subway station.

Hank: Avengers, I have received more information on Bullseye. If he thinks you're the best target, he'll aim for you (I'm betting Loki, Thor, or Hulk due to them being known as the three most powerful). Remember that.

Natasha: That just means that Bullseye won't expect you to be there, Loki.

It's a good thing that the three you mentioned are pretty much invulnerable, Hank. but, just in case, I'm shrinking down. -Jan

Okay, aside from some crates filled with sub-machine guns (can we get someone here to deal with those?) there doesn't seem to be anything at the place by the docks. Any of you guys have any luck?
Steve

Tony: Nothing so far, but that could change. We'll be sure to keep you guys updated.

Loki: Who needs this many firearms anyway? You could probably arm a small country with this...

Thor: I have located a trap door and will proceed with caution. Loki, Widow, stealth tips would be appreciated.

Coulson: Thor, wait for me and Ant-Man. We need numbers against this guy, I don't care if you're a god he will find a way to kill you.

Hank: Don't call me...never mind. I'll message as soon as we know if you guys definitely need to come here or if it's nothing.

I think that might be the whole point, Loki...
Spider-Man

Tony: How are you guys doing? Me, Hulk, and Wasp didn't find anything aside from some pictures of Justin Hammer making out with a guy...Excuse me while I go throw up.

Ewwww! Do you think that poor guy was drunk? -Jan

Natasha: For starters, Thor, be as quiet as possible, which means no war cries.

Tony, I feel I should inform you that YOU make out with a certain blonde male that I am on a search team with and that I very much hope it was Hammer and not the partner that disturbed you.
Loki
PS: I figured that out myself, Spider. Thor, listen to Widow.

Loki, don't be an ass.
Hank

Shit. All of you get over here NOW!
Hank

What? Hank, reply! What's the situation? Somebody!
Steve

What, you mean you're not disgusted by the thought of JUSTIN HAMMER, of all people, making out with someone?-Tony
P.S. My team's ETA is ten minutes.

Spider-Man: Loki, Steve, Widow, and I should be there in around five seconds, by virtue of Loki teleporting us.

Be careful! This Bullseye sounds like serious business, and we all know how annoying bullet wounds can be!
Jan

Coulson: Ant-Man and I are pinned down. Thor is somehow avoiding being shot. Clint is tied up in the back of the room. Bullseye is in the center of the room shooting at all of us. Watch yourselves.

Spider-Man: Ah, Loki got a little dizzy form the teleport. Apparently three people and himself all the way across the city after three big pranks this afternoon and random stealth spells at the warehouse were a bit much. I'll stick with him until I know he's okay.

Loki: Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the over-protective teenager. Now where is that stupid trap door...

Natasha: Found it. Steve has a plan. We keep Bullseye busy and Steve takes him out with his shield. Plan B is letting Loki freeze the bastard. Going in.

Jan: ...I just realized something. Wouldn't Thor have hit Bullseye by now if he could?

Steve: Good work, Spider. Make sure that Loki doesn't overdo it.

Thor would have, but since Bullseye is in the middle of the room and Clint is tied up behind him, he didn't want to take a chance of hitting Clint on accident if Bullseye dodged. -Hank

Coulson: I vote we let Loki freeze the bastard. Pardon my language.

Everyone, brace yourselves. My team is here, and Hulk is pretty ticked that we missed a lot of the action.
Tony
P.S. Steve, take out Bullseye while Hulk distracts him.

Steve: Loki, why did you freeze him! I already knocked him out!

Loki:...Coulson said to. And the expression he's wearing rather unnerves me.

Tony: I'll...just fly Clint back for medical attention. Now.

Hulk: Hulk want to know when breakfast is...

Jan: As soon as we get back to base, Big Green.

Thank you, Loki. Your help is greatly appreciated. Now I have to go and make sure that Clint is going to be alright.
Coulson

All things considered, this is one of the better rescue missions we've been on. I mean, nothing important even blown up! I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed...-Spider-Man

Hank: Why not be both?

Spider-Man: ...yeah. And Loki's right, Coulson is downright scary when he's upset. I'm going home, I have a test tomorrow...or is it today? Ah crap it's today. All-nighters suck.

Loki: Well, I could always give you a cold bad enough so you could call in sick.

Natasha: And of course that would be helping.

Steve: Okay people, enough arguing on the coms. Go back to the wall, where it belongs. Err, have a nice school day, Spider-Man.

Spider-Man: I hate you Cap. Really.

*Finally back on the bathroom wall*

Tony: Is it strange that we've all gotten used to writing our arguments on the bathroom wall?

Of course not. It just means that we can all get a quick laugh in before we leave the room. -Darcy

I just wanted to let you all know that Clint is going to be alright. Thankfully the only souvenirs he has from this little adventure are a myriad of bumps and bruises, plus a minor concussion. I'll let you all know if the concussion worsens.
Coulson

Thor: I am pleased that Clint is going to be fine. I will be sure to visit him in the infirmary. What are traditional get well gifts here?

I know Barton has "a serious sweet tooth" as Spider put it, so I am taking donation and then going to a candy store and getting the most I can with it. So far Spider, Spider-Aunt, Black Widow, Darcy, and I have each contributed ten dollars.
...Per my calculations at the very least that's around forty Reese's packs. And that's only if we get just Reese's.
Loki

I'll just fill out his "this is why this person was injured" paperwork for him. Apparently we can do that for each other.
Tony

Wow. Tony doing paperwork. That's new.
Jane
PS: I got him a card. Everyone who wants to sign, it's in the kitchen. Loki, no spells on the card.

Um, anyone who knows TV, Fenrir wants to know the time of that show where they have funny videos people send in.
Vali
PS: Hi Dad! We're back!

Hank: You mean America's Funniest Home Videos? It should be coming on soon, Fenrir.
P.S. I signed the card, and included a coupon for 40% off a large pizza. No one besides Clint touch the coupon!

Where did you even get that? Hank, have you been holding out on me? -Jan

I have decided to donate to the candy fun in lieu of anything else, and I have signed the get well card.
Thor

Natasha: Don't spoil Clint too much, or else he'll be insufferable for a week.

Madam, you act as though he is not already insufferable.
Loki
PS: When can I prank him again without anyone getting annoyed with me (more so than usual, anyway)?

I'm going to go watch TV with Loki's kids. I like that show.
Darcy

Finally, a calm night for once.
...Steve, we're going to my room.
Tony

Anyone want to guess why he didn't just ask that in person?

Coulson: Minor pranks as soon as he can walk around without running into walls and/or random pieces of furniture. Heavy duty pranks will have to wait until the medics give Clint a clean bill of health.

I don't know, but I say we follow their lead, Bruce. ;) -Elizabeth Ross

I second that! C'mon, Hank!
Jan

Natasha: Why does everyone now feel the need to write that here? I'll be watching that show with Darcy and Loki's kids if anyone needs me.

...Acceptable, I suppose. I can always target Tony.
Loki

When did Banner's girlfriend break in?
Tony
PS: Loki, don't you dare.

Around the same time I did.
Col. Rhodes.

...We need more guest rooms.
Happy Hogan

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