My thanks to Karri, Catherine, Angela, Deana, Montana, J-James, Tasha,
Ariane, and Eva who so graciously give the time to review, whether it be
via email or the review location. I appreciate it very, very much! I hope
I didn't leave anyone out...if I did, please do forgive me...
To Catherine: Yes, I agree with you, Abdul is a very interesting character, and he gets more as time goes along...It is strange, how we make up our own characters, and intend them not to be as large as the original script characters, but in essense, they turn out to play a major role in the lives of those original ones. He has turned out to be very interesting to me as well...I like him alot...and wait till you see what's in store for him! Also, Shariyf and Bahir are interesting to me, as well...if I must say so myself...I like those three guys! And that was rather interesting, with chapter 10, the other day when I posted, it was in the rough...lol...not intending it to be there...when you read it...but thanks anyways...there are minute changes here and there...but it has changed a little...so its back up...Also, thanks for all the great reviews you leave...I appreciate it very, very much...and I'm so sorry that you won't be doing any more Demitica's...and well, I hope you do come up with some other mummy stories...but I'll read whatever you write...just let me know when and where...I love your stories!
ENDLESS LOVE CHAPTER 10
TOGETHER WE STAND
The group just stood there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. Ardeth had been through so much suffering, there was not much anyone could do or say to ease his pain.
Rick walked slowly up to Ardeth. He knew what the pain of the loss of a wife was; he had experienced it at Ahm Shere the year before when Evy had died before his eyes, as well as the fact that Alex had been in danger of death as well. The only blessing was that Evy had been given back to him. Such a great gift! But he knew that it wasn't so for his friend; his brother. Oh, how he regretted that he could not save Ardeth's family!
Evy also started to walk towards Ardeth, pain weighing so heavily in her heart. Not only were her son and Jonathan in imminent danger, but the loss of Bahiyaa, Ablaa and Alia was too much for her to bear. Bahiyaa had become like a sister to Evy. She could not have loved Ardeth and his family more if they were her very own blood. Her heart ached from the terrible loss.
Rick put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. He needed to talk to Ardeth first. He knew he had to.
Ardeth had trouble looking directly at them. He tried to hide his pain before talking to them, but it was so difficult. Looking down, he gave a weak smile as Rick approached him.
"My friend, I am so relieved to know that you have arrived unharmed," Ardeth said, trying to make his voice sound normal. "I'm so sorry that you and your family have been involved in this. Shariyf and myself were on our way to rendezvous with you and my warriors. Our brothers in Cairo are working with some of my men to get Alex and Jonathan to safety. Be confident in that fact, they will not let the enemy take them anywhere," he assured Rick.
Quickly, he turned and began to walk away.
Rick rapidly took several steps and gently grabbed Ardeth's arm.
Ardeth stopped, closing his eyes. He was so weary of people trying to comfort him. It weakened his ability to keep his emotions in check. He sighed and lowered his head as Rick attempted to turn Ardeth around.
"Ardeth, I don't know how to..." Rick broke off, not knowing what to say next.
Ardeth slowly turned to face Rick. He could not speak. He didn't have to, for his eyes told the horrible tale of the greatest loss a man could ever experience.
It was as if Rick could actually see the horrific vision that was still emblazoned in Ardeth's eyes. He nearly could see Ardeth's wife and children, tortured and mutilated. He could only imagine that what he envisioned was small compared to the magnitude of the true horror that Ardeth had witnessed.
Rick couldn't bear seeing the anguish in Ardeth's eyes. His eyes began to water uncontrollably.
Ardeth began to turn away, but Rick grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. Ardeth tried to back away, but Rick wouldn't let him, it made him hold Ardeth even tighter. Ardeth, from sheer exhaustion, could not resist Rick's persistence, and finally couldn't fight his emotions anymore. He and Rick had been through so much together through the years, and Rick was always there for him, through thick and thin. The bond between the two was that of utmost trust, a trust that had proven itself, time and time again. It was a rare and true bond, whose mettle had been tested by the endurance of time.
Ardeth couldn't hold back the flood that he had fought so many times the last few days. Finally, the real tears came, and he began to cry uncontrollably in his friend's arms.
This made Rick lose control as well, and he cried with Ardeth, unashamedly.
Ardeth, being a typical man, feared that crying in the presence of his friend would be a sign of weakness on his part. Trying desperately to gain a small measure of composure, he wiped the tears from his eyes and began to pull away from Rick's embrace.
"Forgive me, my friend," Ardeth said, rather embarrassed at his weakness. "I should have better control on my emotions."
Rick, seeing that Ardeth was having a hard time with the shame, combined with the immense pain that reflected in his dark amber eyes, placed his hands on Ardeth's shoulders and looked at him intently, tears still flowing down Rick's cheeks.
"Ardeth, my dear friend, I may have a flippant attitude most of the time, but I learned more about emotions last year at Ahm Shere, than I learned in my entire life. There, in front of the pyramid, I watched Evy die in my arms. I didn't know that she would be given back to me. The pain I felt was more than I ever experienced in my entire lifetime. I know what you are feeling to some degree. I know that Evy was given back to me and my son was delivered back to me safe. If it hadn't been for you, I would never have found my son."
Rick had to stop talking. It was so hard reliving his painful experience, but he would do anything to help his friend in his great anguish. Ardeth had been there for Rick, time and time again. His family had remained intact mostly because of Ardeth. Rick was ever grateful for that fact. Trying to find the words to express his remorse at the loss of Ardeth's wife and children, Rick finally got his thoughts to form into the right words.
"I just wish that I could have done the same for you and saved Bahiyaa and your little girls. Right now, I am dealing with that guilt. It is hard, very hard to handle."
Again, Rick had to pause, dealing with his own guilty feelings of being helpless when Ardeth needed him the most.
Ardeth was about to interrupt. Rick knew what he was thinking, that it wasn't Rick's fault nor could he have done anything to stop it. Rick raised his hand to silence Ardeth; indicating that he wasn't finished with what he had to say.
"But I have to gain a small measure of satisfaction that I am here for you now," he continued. "There is no shame in the hurt you can't hide. Ardeth, there is no need to try to hide your pain, especially not from Evy and me. You, Evy, and myself, well, we've been through so much together."
Ardeth nodded quietly, trying to control the gasping reflex that normally comes with intense crying.
Rick was about to lose even more control of his own emotions, the tears beginning to flow faster and his voice cracking; at the thoughts that still had a tendency to rend his heart into shreds.
"When Evy died in my arms, I couldn't stop crying. I had never felt pain like that, ever. I've seen many people die. I had never been close to anyone before fate brought us all together at Hamunaptra. Yeah, I know, it sounds weird, but that's what I think happened."
Ardeth nodded again, knowing full well what Rick meant.
Rick paused to grab his handkerchief to wipe his eyes and blow his runny nose. He continued to speak his thoughts.
"I never ever felt remorse, or feared for anyone before that time. But I knew that I had to seek retribution and take Imhotep down and whoever else was involved. That was all I could think of. Ardeth, I will stand with you against our enemy. Yes, our enemy. Even if the bad guys weren't after my family, they would still be my enemy because they are out to hurt you. Anyone who is your enemy is my enemy, remember that. You are more than just my best friend, you are my brother."
With this said, Ardeth was so emotionally moved, it was his turn to embrace Rick. Looking into Rick's eyes with a little less shame evident; Ardeth came to terms with his emotions. He struggled to find the right words.
"Thank you, my friend," he said. "Thank you for not judging my weakness. After my brother died, the only brothers I had were Bahir and Shariyf. I know that they are not my brothers in blood, but they have always been my brothers in heart. That is how I feel about you."
Ardeth paused, trying to clear his throat so his voice would stop cracking.
"But do not blame yourself for not being there to save my wife and children. You didn't know it had happened. I have blamed myself for not being there. If I had been there, they might have lived. But how could I save them when I was on guard duty? We all have questions and no comforting answers for them," he sighed. "I guess we just have to come to terms with them."
Evy, watching the two, ran towards them and put her arms around both men; the one she loved as a husband, and the other she loved as a brother. Ardeth reached around Evy's shoulders and held her in a tight embrace. She was crying so hysterically, Rick and Ardeth had a hard time trying to console her.
"Ardeth, I'm so very sorry," Evy cried. "I don't even know what to say, it hurts so badly."
Ardeth smiled gently through his own tears and hugged Evy close. Kissing her cheek, he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes.
"Evy, thank you. Bahiyaa loved you very much," Ardeth choked the words out.
"Oh Ardeth, I feel so horribly about Bahir," she said. "We don't even know if he lived. He sacrificed his life to save mine! I'm so very sorry! I know how close he was to you. Rick and I had become close to him through the years, as you know. He was always so kind to me. I just can't handle that he would do this, with having a wife to leave behind," Evy said, her heart aching with so much agony, she gasped out the words.
Ardeth bowed his head, hearing the words Evy spoke. It couldn't have hurt him more if someone had slashed his heart open. "Not only a wife, but an unborn child as well," he told her, with sorrow in his voice. "Bahir has always been a man of honor, and protecting you with his life would be typical of his character. He would not be able to live with the knowledge of you dying and his having been able to trade places with you. It is the life that we live, Evy, the way we were brought up; to protect the innocent, women and children, not only the accursed places we protect. It was Bahir's honor to do this for you. I cannot say that I am happy that he is dead or dying, but I am happy that if he did die, or does, it is with the honor that he truly deserves."
Evy's eyes opened wide in horror, now realizing that Bahir would be leaving behind not only his wife, but also the child he would never see. She began to cry harder, realizing just how much Bahir's sacrifice had cost him and his family.
Together, the three mourned. And together as one, they prayed for the safe return of Alex and Jonathan and for Bahir, that God would grant him healing, for the sacrifice he had so selflessly made.
Abdul watched from a distance, feeling the pain and the ultimate anger culminating inside of him. He made a silent vow that he would make a stand against Zouhir, side by side, with Ardeth. He could not accept any other terms.
Ardeth, Rick and Evy finally began to walk towards the rest of the group, where the women and children were being helped by the other warriors. Many of the women and children had severe blisters on their feet, as they had been made to walk on the hot sand for so long. The warriors were tending to them as best as they could, while feeling the same anger that Ardeth and Shariyf had felt.
Evy and Rick weren't aware of the fact that in the midst of Ardeth's and Shariyf's journey to rendezvous with them, they had come across this group of people. Ardeth explained the events that had unfolded. Evy began to cry again, at the viciousness of these animals. Yes, that is all Evy could think of, to refer to them. There was no other word to describe these men. Evy hurriedly went over and helped the warriors tend to the poor souls.
Evy was shocked when she saw Shatarra, Ardeth's mother. Oh, what else would these animals do? she thought. What a horrid shame. She tenderly ministered to the elderly woman that she had grown to love as a mother. Shatarra was in very bad shape. Her condition had not improved much since they arrived at the oasis. Evy and another young woman, whose name was Hayat, worked continuously to try and help Ardeth's mother. Evy couldn't contain her tears as Hayat showed her the whip marks on Shatarra's back. What barbaric animals they were! Evy cried as she heard the painful moans emitted from Shatarra as she gently helped Hayat clean Shatarra's wounds.
Ardeth and Rick stood by the group of women. Rick turned his eyes to look at Ardeth. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Those men had abducted Shatarra!
Rick bent down and looked at Shatarra and bowed his head in sorrow, seeing that she was very, very ill from the torment that she had endured. Rick gently caressed her cheek. The light touch stirred Shatarra enough to encourage her to open her eyes. She had trouble focusing her eyes, but Shatarra, through her delirium, did manage to recognize Rick. She weakly smiled at him and her eyes still had that beautiful sparkle of love that always draw people to instantly like her. Rick bent over farther and lovingly kissed her cheek. Never knowing his parents, he agreed with Evy; Shatarra was a mother to them both. Rick was so upset with her condition he gently moved the few strands of hair that were clinging to her moist skin. Giving her a smile, Rick got up and walked away so that he could come to grips with his feelings on this situation. How many women and children suffered needlessly because of this maniacal group of animals? He shook his head, deep in thought, when Ardeth walked up to him. Rick was so upset, that he didn't even hear him approach.
"Rick, I think we need to gather together and make a plan of action before we leave," Ardeth said. "I will get Abdul and Shariyf to join us in planning out our strategy."
"Umm, Ardeth, I think that you really need to go and talk to Abdul," said Rick. "He's really down, you know? He's riddled with guilt because of his relation to Zouhir. I am really worried about him. You think before we all have our pow wow, that you can give him a little pep talk?" Rick asked reluctantly, wondering how Ardeth really felt about the whole situation.
Ardeth scanned the area and located Abdul. He was off by himself, away from even the warriors that had arrived with him, Rick and Evy.
The men had built a fire, and two warriors had prepared food. It was already finished cooking, and the two warriors were distributing a meager, but greatly appreciated meal to the women and children first, then were giving out what was left to the rest of the men. Ardeth politely refused the food and told one of the warriors to give it to the women as an extra ration to share as best as they could. Rick followed suit. When one of the warriors tried to hand Abdul a plate, he politely refused as well, and turned away, walking deeper into the foliage of the oasis.
Ardeth looked at Rick and gave him a nod, before following the path the Abdul had taken. He was very worried about him, and his state of mind. Ardeth knew that Abdul was carrying such an incredible burden, and he hoped that he could encourage him and make him realize that he had no reason to feel this shame, as he was not responsible for his father's irrational acts of barbarism.
Ardeth thought he would never catch up to Abdul. "He must be running," he thought, still trying to locate his friend.
The oasis, even though it was rather small compared to some of the others deeper in the Sahara, was still rather large, and rich with very thick foliage. Ardeth looked around and marveled at the beauty of it all. Getting his thoughts back to Abdul, Ardeth continued his search.
There was another pond a good distance from the one that they were camped by. Ardeth looked around at the area surrounding the pond. There, high up on a rather large boulder, overlooking the water, sat Abdul.
Ardeth wondered what words of wisdom could help Abdul. He wanted to help him desperately. Ardeth had always cared very much for Abdul, despite Abdul's penchant for shying away from Bahir, Ardeth, and Shariyf's attempts to welcome him into their inner circle. Silently, Ardeth offered up a prayer to Allah to help Abdul with his inner suffering.
Ardeth began his ascent up the large boulder. It was a very difficult climb. Ardeth, still rather exhausted from lack of sleep and his lost appetite as well as the exhausting journey itself, had a really tough time climbing it. It was jagged in some areas, so Ardeth carefully avoided those spots, knowing that he didn't need any unnecessary injuries. He was sure he would be receiving enough of those very soon. Finally, Ardeth reached the top, and he carefully approached Abdul.
Sitting down next to him, Ardeth looked over the pond, marveling at its crystal clear water. Abdul continued to look ahead at nothing in particular, anything but Ardeth.
Ardeth cleared his throat, trying to think of what to say. "Abdul, please look at me," he earnestly implored.
Abdul shifted his eyes, but still didn't look at him looking instead down into the clear blue water.
Ardeth waited a couple of minutes in silence. He knew that Abdul was in so much pain and that he blamed himself for his father's actions. He knew that he was going to have a very hard time trying to get through to Abdul. But Ardeth vowed to himself that he would not leave until Abdul heard what he had to say.
Suddenly Abdul lifted his eyes skyward. His profile was that of a man who looked like the weight of the entire world was on his shoulders, a man who desperately was trying to hold onto that burden and trying to find a way to rectify the situation.
"Abdul, I'm asking you once again, please, my friend, look at me," Ardeth said, emphatically.
Abdul sighed heavily, knowing that he did not wish to be disrespectful to Ardeth. After all, Ardeth was his King, as well as a friend. Abdul had a very deep regard for Ardeth, even though he would shy away from the three men who had so often welcomed him and encouraged him to join them for meals or just a chance to sit down and engage in small talk. Abdul had very seldom even sat for a meal with them, even on guard duty at Hamunaptra. Most of the time, he would just sit off to the side and avoid any type of interaction with the rest of the warriors. But the few times that he had sat with Ardeth, Bahir and Shariyf, he wanted so much to accept their kind offer. He knew that the three of them, as well as the other warriors, didn't hold him responsible for Zouhir's elusive acts of violence through the years. But Abdul knew, deep in his heart, that HE was the one with the problem, not the others.
Ever so slowly, his eyes met Ardeth's ever-beckoning ones.
Ardeth smiled at him, glad that Abdul was starting to respond a little. It was better than nothing. He understood his deep feeling of despair all too well. "Abdul, please tell me what you are feeling," Ardeth asked.
Abdul's response was a small laugh. "Ardeth, you want to know what I feel? I feel so horrible right now; I wish that I would die. How would you even expect me to feel? I hurt for you. I hurt for Bahiyaa, Ablaa, and Alia. I hurt for Shatarra. I hurt for Bahir. I hurt for Akhtar, Akilah, Noorah and Shakar. Shall I continue, Ardeth? I have seen your family and friends suffer from Zouhir's hateful revenge. Zouhir, my father," Abdul spat the name and reference out as if it were the vilest words he had ever uttered.
"Maybe, just maybe, if I had gone with him when he left, I might have been able to change him," Abdul continued. "At least I'd be able to say that I did my best to change him. But I have done nothing but watch his vengeance rain down upon your loved ones. I am sickened by his acts of barbarism, it shames me to know that I am his son," Abdul said, shaking his head in disgust.
"Abdul," said Ardeth, with a sigh. "Let me see if I can explain my thoughts on the matter of your being his son. There is no way ever that I, nor anyone else, have ever thought it to be your fault for his ways. How can a man be responsible for the action of another? I know that as the leader of the Medjai, I am responsible for the actions of my people. As well, you know, as a Chosen warrior, you have the responsibility of the actions of the men under your command. That is a different scenario than the one that involves your connection to Zouhir. As far as I'm concerned, you are not his son. You are of a higher standard than Zouhir could ever attain. You are better than him, my friend."
Ardeth paused, trying to think of what to say next, hoping he was making some sense to Abdul.
"I have, and always will have the utmost respect and trust in you," he continued. "That is why I elected to make you a Chosen warrior. You are trustworthy and true to our duty and above all you are honorable. Abdul, you are one of the most honorable men I have ever known. I would have never chosen you to be a commanding warrior if I had not thought that. You are of the highest standard of character."
Ardeth stopped again, reaching over, and placing an assuring hand on Abdul's shoulder. "And above all, Abdul, I am your friend, I always have been and always will be. Do not blame yourself for the murders of my wife and children, nor my father, brother and sisters. Do not blame yourself for Bahir's mortal wounds. Please, my friend, stop burdening yourself with such a weight of blame, and understand that there is no need to do this. Above all, I need you, I need you more than you realize. I trust you and I need you to help me."
Abdul stared at Ardeth the whole time he gave his rather long speech of undying trust and concern for his welfare. He averted his eyes, once again, trying to hold back tears of anger and relief, both emotions fighting for release at the same time.
Abdul wanted so very much to know what relief really felt like. Relief from the hurt and shame he carried all these years. No one had ever blamed him! No one, throughout his entire life, had even hinted that he was at fault. No one outside of his own family, that is. Often, he contemplated that fateful day that had turned his life into the hellish nightmare that he had lived in ever since. He and his mother had been taken care of by his grandfather, Hydar. His mother, Ishana, was now an elderly woman who had so much suppressed hate inside her.
When Zouhir had been banished, she had been glad to see him leave. But because Abdul resembled Zouhir, she began to resent him after Zouhir had left them and set up his own tent. Before that time, she had always been an attentive and loving mother. From that day; the day of Zouhir's banishment, she didn't want anything to do with Abdul at all.
His mother had grown to despise Zouhir long before his acts of barbarism warranted his banishment. Zouhir had abandoned her and their son. But because Abdul was a mirror image of his father, it only reminded her of the man who had turned his back on them. She just didn't realize that through her resentment and hatred of her husband, she turned her back on her own son, because of his remarkable resemblance. Abdul's grandfather, on the other hand, gave him unconditional love. His grandfather was a wise and loving man and it showed through his actions.
Abdul, still very silent and staring out into an endless void, reflected back on the years behind him. Ardeth, knowing that Abdul was deep in thought, continued to sit in silence, staring off in the distance, giving Abdul his much needed private moment.
Abdul remembered back to a time when Yushua had come to Hydar's tent. Hydar was attending to the many duties that an Honored Second has to perform. As Yushua waited for his friend to come back, he witnessed, firsthand, the negligent treatment Ishana gave to Abdul. It hurt Yushua deeply to witness this. At the time, Abdul had just turned six years old. His mother was preparing a meal, and knew that Hydar was going to be a little late, so she prepared a plate for Yushua and herself. She made no effort to feed Abdul, he had to go and get it himself. To Yushua, it had looked like she didn't even acknowledge his presence. The expression on Yushua's face was one that would forever be imprinted in Abdul's young mind. That was the first day that Yushua had ever shown disrespect to anyone in the tribe. He'd stood, giving Ishana a very stern, disapproving look, and walked straight out of the tent, leaving the plate that she had prepared for him untouched. Today, that image of Yushua's reaction was still as fresh as when he had first witnessed it.
After that day, Yushua made a special effort to spend as much time as possible with Abdul. It was because of his grandfather and Yushua Bey's encouragement and training that Abdul was the outstanding warrior and honorable man that he was today.
Abdul came back from the depths of his misery and looked over at Ardeth, who'd been staring off into the distance. Abdul knew that he wanted to tell Ardeth so much. How much he appreciated Ardeth's constant vigilance in his efforts to show his trust and acceptance of Abdul. He knew that Ardeth had always strived to get close to him, and as a matter of fact, Abdul felt very close to Ardeth. But accepting that closeness was very hard to reveal; each time he tried, he failed. The memories of his past were always too strong for him to overcome.
Dreading even bringing anything up, Abdul struggled for the words. For the first time in the last twenty-nine years, Abdul spoke of his feelings.
"Ardeth, do you know what it is like to be shunned?" Abdul asked.
Ardeth came around from his own thoughts. "What?" he asked.
"I asked if you knew what it was like to be shunned?" Abdul repeated.
"No, I don't," Ardeth answered. "But neither do you. No one has ever tried to shun you or blame you for anything that Zouhir did."
"Zouhir ruined my life," Abdul said. "He took everything away from me! My rights as a member of this tribe, the right to have a life."
"Abdul, my friend, that has only been your interpretation on the situation," Ardeth said. "No one has ever said it was your fault!" Ardeth tried to explain his point.
"Really, Ardeth?" Abdul said, laughing mirthlessly. "Is that what you have thought all these years? Well, that is not so."
Ardeth looked at Abdul in surprise. He didn't understand what Abdul was getting at but Ardeth was surely going to get to the bottom of this. He hadn't been aware of anything going on of this sort in the tribe, and he was going to put a stop to it!
"Who, Abdul? Who are you talking about? I want to know! I demand to know! Who would dare do this!?" Ardeth sputtered out, very angry at this revelation.
"It is of no consequence, Ardeth," Abdul replied. "I really shouldn't have even mentioned it. It is not important, the most important thing right now is to take down Zouhir and his criminal connections."
"Wait Abdul, you say it is of no consequence?" queried Ardeth. "It is to me, as well as to many of us. Your suffering as well as your triumphs are shared by more than you know. All these years, my sincere hope has been that you would realize that you have always been a part of us."
Ardeth began to rethink his approach. He had to get to the core of Abdul's pain, even if he had to make him relive it.
"Abdul, please tell me, my friend, who is treating you in this manner? Just as I know you wouldn't let me down, you should know by now that I wouldn't let you down. I need your help, but I can't get that help unless I help you first. Please tell me who," Ardeth said, emphatically.
"Ardeth, it is an old story. As I said, of no consequence. I have come to terms with it a long time ago. You were just a baby when all this transpired. I do not wish to, as the American would say, 'dig up old bones'. What good would that accomplish?" Abdul said, trying to avoid the situation.
"What good would that accomplish, Abdul?" Ardeth answered Abdul's question with a question. "I think that it would accomplish very much. I have watched you shy away from all of us throughout all these years. We have welcomed you with open arms, yet you walk away. I know what it will accomplish; healing. Healing for your heart and for your soul," Ardeth said, earnestly hoping to convince his friend.
Abdul sighed, knowing that Ardeth would not let him get out of this. He had already been cornered by the O'Connell's, and had to bare part of his soul to them. Now Ardeth was trying to reopen the worst wounds of all. But he knew that Ardeth meant to help him, and he wanted so desperately to reach out to Ardeth for that very help.
Abdul hesitated for a moment, knowing that Ardeth was giving him time to decide. He looked up into Ardeth's piercing eyes to see that he had the look of a man on the edge, his own raw pain mixed with a new pain; the need to know who was hurting Abdul. He appreciated Ardeth's great concern; he was a man of great principal and integrity.
Silently, Abdul decided that now was the time to face his own demons, and confide in Ardeth, for the comfort and solace that he had denied himself for so many years.
"Ardeth, you have always been good to me. You always welcomed me, and I know that I turned away from that welcome. But, I have had much to conquer within myself." He paused, with a sigh. "What I am about to tell you, I have never divulged to anyone. Not even my grandfather knew all of what happened in those early years preceding Zouhir's banishment."
Ardeth listened intently, overjoyed that he'd finally gotten through to his friend, but also nervously wondering what he was about to hear.
"A very long time ago, I learned how to face the fact that I wasn't wanted," Abdul started. "Even before Zouhir abandoned us, my mother always treated me as her greatest failure. She told me many times that it was my fault for Zouhir leaving. She didn't know that Zouhir had developed such bizarre habits." He sighed. "He had always been very hateful to me. From a very young age, I don't know, maybe as young as two, I received more beatings than you could imagine. All I could ever remember about him was his beatings and his berating words. Ishana blamed me because Zouhir left us, she said that if I had been a better son, Zouhir would've stayed."
Abdul paused, gathering his thoughts, and his nerve to continue.
"After Zouhir left our home and isolated himself from us and everyone else, my mother still blamed me. She would often remind me that if I hadn't been born, she would still have Zouhir with her." He paused, and looked at Ardeth. "The very day you were born was the day that Zouhir was banished. Even after all the physical evidence of Zouhir's twisted mind in his tent, my mother still blamed me. Ishana told me that I was the one who had driven him to that state of mind, because of my inefficiency as a son."
Ardeth shook his head, too shocked to say anything.
"Hydar had withdrawn into himself for a while," Abdul went on. "I can understand that, it was his son who had done all those hideous atrocities. He had to come to terms of the loss of his son and the crimes of his son as well. But even though Hydar had taken care of my mother and I, he wasn't aware for a long time that Ishana was neglecting me. When he found out, through your grandfather, he took me away from my mother and kept me with him."
Ardeth sat there with a horrified look in his eyes. He didn't realize just how much Abdul had gone through in his life. Where Ardeth's young years had been filled with nurturing love, Abdul, on the other hand, had been subjected to the worst life imaginable for a young child to endure, filled with blame, abuse, and neglect.
"Ardeth, do you remember anything about that time?" Abdul asked him, seeing Ardeth's expression.
"I remember that you were living with your grandfather, that's all," Ardeth stuttered out a reply, too stunned to believe all this. "All I remember is your grandfather being a kind and just man. He was always good to all children."
"Yes, he was," Abdul agreed. "A very good man indeed. He told me many times how much he loved me. I'm sure he did this so as to restore some measure of confidence and trust that had been stripped away from me from a very young age. Your grandfather, Yushua, also gave me special treatment. I am forever grateful for his kindness. He and my grandfather taught me everything that I know today."
Ardeth felt a little better to hear that his grandfather had tried to help the young Abdul.
"The day that your grandfather and mine died was the saddest day of my life," Abdul said, sorrowfully. "I have often wondered, even though there was no evidence, that Zouhir had a hand in it. After all, it was odd that both of them died on the same day, within the same hour."
Ardeth looked at Abdul, quizzically, realizing what he meant. It was not unusual for warriors to die on the same day, nor even the same hour. But neither Hydar nor Yushua had engaged in battle on the day that they died.
"To this day, my mother, even though I make sure she is well taken care of, does not recognize me as her son," Abdul told Ardeth. "She has so much bitterness in her. I have not spoken to her in twenty-nine years."
Ardeth looked at him, realizing the true magnitude of Abdul's suffering. He shook his head in utter dismay. Ardeth had never experienced anything like this. Normally he could help any of his warriors that came to him with a problem, whether it be about disputes on duty related situations or personal ones. But this was way beyond his comprehension. No way had he ever heard of such a situation occurring within the tribe.
Ardeth had been only one year old when Hydar had taken Abdul into his home. As Ardeth had grown to an age of remote understanding and remembrance, he had seen his own grandfather doting on Abdul as well as Hydar. Ardeth had never been jealous of it, he had always liked Abdul and thought of him as an older brother. But even though Abdul was always respectful, he stayed his distance, as if he was not good enough to be with Ardeth and his brothers. That had explained why Yushua had been so fond of Abdul. He was the one who had discovered the problem to begin with.
Now, another curious factor had been placed into their already complicated situation. Did Zouhir kill Hydar and Yushua? Ardeth thought.
"Abdul, I am so sorry for what you have gone through in your life," he said. "I know that there is no way to rectify this situation. We cannot go back to the past. If that were possible, I think we all would go back and change something. I think the most important thing is for you to reassure yourself that you are of a much better standard than Zouhir. As a matter of fact, you are of a better standard than most Medjai. I have always trusted you. You have been one of the best warriors I could have ever hoped for. That is why I placed you in the most trusted position that any warrior can attain; that of a Chosen Warrior. I had no reservations about entrusting you with that position and I still don't to this day. You have proved yourself many times deserving that title."
"Ardeth, I failed you!" Abdul suddenly blurted. "It is simple as that! I was at the village when we were attacked. I tried to stop them, but I couldn't!" Abdul said berating himself for his inability to save Ardeth's family.
"Abdul, our village is very large," Ardeth said, now understanding that there were two problems that were devouring Abdul's heart and soul, threatening now to destroy what little confidence he had in himself.
"There was no way you could have known what would happen. Whenever we are attacked, as you know, everything gets chaotic. We have to be everywhere at the same time. Yes, we are to protect the women and children and elderly first and foremost. But there are so many, how could you be everywhere at once? No, my friend, you could not. Nor could I have. If I had been there, there is no guarantee that I could have prevented what happened to my family." He sighed, forcing back his emotions at thought of his family. "Abdul, I need you," he said, yet again. "I need you because I believe in you and I trust you. Yes, I believe in you. I always have and I always will. Do not think on this lightly. Do not berate yourself for things beyond your control. You have taught me a very valuable lesson. This is what I have been doing the entire time since the attack; I have blamed myself for my family dying, for not being there to help them. But if I had been there, there is no guarantee that I could have prevented it just as you couldn't have prevented it," Ardeth said, now, new light dawning on him.
"Abdul, we are going to take Zouhir and his men down. We are going to do this not only for my benefit, but also for yours, my friend. You have suffered enough; the time of your suffering is over with. We will conquer them, and with their demise, so will your legacy of emotional torment come to a close. All that will be left will be to confront your mother."
"Ardeth, what good will that do?" Abdul asked incredulously, knowing his mother's vehement feelings towards him.
"I think the best recourse will be to let her know that you forgive her," Ardeth said, smiling. "Let her know that you forgive her, and let it go. Then it will all be up to her."
Abdul, realizing what Ardeth meant, smiled a genuine smile for the first time he could remember. Ardeth had given him the ability to see the light in this situation. But most of all, Ardeth had given him hope for the future, within himself. Truly, Ardeth was a man of wisdom beyond his years.
"Well, Abdul, we need to gather together and make a plan of action. When you are ready, please join us; I will need your opinion on it. We will be over by the other pond," Ardeth smiled back. The first genuine smile that had graced his features since these atrocities began several days before.
Abdul reached out to him, as Ardeth was about to get up. Ardeth stopped and looked at Abdul's outstretched hand. He reached out and grasped it.
"Thank you, Ardeth," Abdul said, voice thick with feeling. "It has been a long hard road. Thank you for not giving up on me," he said, eyes glistening.
With a nod, Ardeth closed his eyes in acknowledgement. He stood up to leave and Abdul quickly followed. Now he was ready for all this to end. Together they walked toward the pond where the others rested and waited.
While walking, Ardeth posed a question that had he had been pondering for quite some time.
"Do you think it would be better if you weren't present directly, when we face-off with Zouhir?" Ardeth asked. "I mean, would you rather not be present to see him, considering the fact that he was your father?"
"Ardeth, I wouldn't miss it for the world," Abdul replied, much to Ardeth's astonishment, at Abdul's reaction. Maybe he had gotten through to Abdul better than he had even thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rick and Evy sat by the pond. All were resting, as the journey was going to be a long one and many were very ill. They needed the rest and the warriors were trying to figure out just how they were going to bring all these women and children with them. It would be unwise to leave them at the oasis until they got back from wherever they were headed.
Rick had overheard the warriors speaking, but didn't understand much of it, so Evy had translated for the most part. Rick was in agreement with the warriors. It wouldn't be wise to bring all those women and children out into the blazing desert to their unknown destination.
Evy got up, wanting to stretch her legs. She walked along the ponds edge, wanting to check on Shatarra. Evy hoped that if Shatarra's condition changed for the worse, Hayat would inform her. Evy had immediately taken to Hayat. She was a very young woman with a kind heart that was evident in everything that she did. Evy had been told of her little boy dying in the desert and her heart went out to her. Hayat, through her own personal suffering, had been very brave and put her own feelings aside to take care of others. Evy liked that quality in a person.
Walking along the ponds edge, she saw a set of footprints. They meandered along the edge, then went towards the thick foliage. Evy wondered who had gone through that direction. Her curiosity got the best of her and she followed the prints. Shortly, she was hidden by the dense growth.
Rick had fallen asleep. He awoke when he heard Ardeth and Abdul approaching. Shariyf had been with the other warriors, discussing their situation, and he joined Ardeth and Abdul.
"Where is Evy?" Ardeth asked.
Rick looked around, bleary eyed. He knew she was there when he fell asleep, but he couldn't see her anywhere. Fear began to rise in Rick's mind.
Ardeth looked at Abdul, then Shariyf. They knew what he was saying without words even being spoken.
Abdul, turning to the other warriors, gave orders to start a search.
But he noticed something, something very strange. There were a few warriors missing.
To Catherine: Yes, I agree with you, Abdul is a very interesting character, and he gets more as time goes along...It is strange, how we make up our own characters, and intend them not to be as large as the original script characters, but in essense, they turn out to play a major role in the lives of those original ones. He has turned out to be very interesting to me as well...I like him alot...and wait till you see what's in store for him! Also, Shariyf and Bahir are interesting to me, as well...if I must say so myself...I like those three guys! And that was rather interesting, with chapter 10, the other day when I posted, it was in the rough...lol...not intending it to be there...when you read it...but thanks anyways...there are minute changes here and there...but it has changed a little...so its back up...Also, thanks for all the great reviews you leave...I appreciate it very, very much...and I'm so sorry that you won't be doing any more Demitica's...and well, I hope you do come up with some other mummy stories...but I'll read whatever you write...just let me know when and where...I love your stories!
ENDLESS LOVE CHAPTER 10
TOGETHER WE STAND
The group just stood there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. Ardeth had been through so much suffering, there was not much anyone could do or say to ease his pain.
Rick walked slowly up to Ardeth. He knew what the pain of the loss of a wife was; he had experienced it at Ahm Shere the year before when Evy had died before his eyes, as well as the fact that Alex had been in danger of death as well. The only blessing was that Evy had been given back to him. Such a great gift! But he knew that it wasn't so for his friend; his brother. Oh, how he regretted that he could not save Ardeth's family!
Evy also started to walk towards Ardeth, pain weighing so heavily in her heart. Not only were her son and Jonathan in imminent danger, but the loss of Bahiyaa, Ablaa and Alia was too much for her to bear. Bahiyaa had become like a sister to Evy. She could not have loved Ardeth and his family more if they were her very own blood. Her heart ached from the terrible loss.
Rick put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. He needed to talk to Ardeth first. He knew he had to.
Ardeth had trouble looking directly at them. He tried to hide his pain before talking to them, but it was so difficult. Looking down, he gave a weak smile as Rick approached him.
"My friend, I am so relieved to know that you have arrived unharmed," Ardeth said, trying to make his voice sound normal. "I'm so sorry that you and your family have been involved in this. Shariyf and myself were on our way to rendezvous with you and my warriors. Our brothers in Cairo are working with some of my men to get Alex and Jonathan to safety. Be confident in that fact, they will not let the enemy take them anywhere," he assured Rick.
Quickly, he turned and began to walk away.
Rick rapidly took several steps and gently grabbed Ardeth's arm.
Ardeth stopped, closing his eyes. He was so weary of people trying to comfort him. It weakened his ability to keep his emotions in check. He sighed and lowered his head as Rick attempted to turn Ardeth around.
"Ardeth, I don't know how to..." Rick broke off, not knowing what to say next.
Ardeth slowly turned to face Rick. He could not speak. He didn't have to, for his eyes told the horrible tale of the greatest loss a man could ever experience.
It was as if Rick could actually see the horrific vision that was still emblazoned in Ardeth's eyes. He nearly could see Ardeth's wife and children, tortured and mutilated. He could only imagine that what he envisioned was small compared to the magnitude of the true horror that Ardeth had witnessed.
Rick couldn't bear seeing the anguish in Ardeth's eyes. His eyes began to water uncontrollably.
Ardeth began to turn away, but Rick grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. Ardeth tried to back away, but Rick wouldn't let him, it made him hold Ardeth even tighter. Ardeth, from sheer exhaustion, could not resist Rick's persistence, and finally couldn't fight his emotions anymore. He and Rick had been through so much together through the years, and Rick was always there for him, through thick and thin. The bond between the two was that of utmost trust, a trust that had proven itself, time and time again. It was a rare and true bond, whose mettle had been tested by the endurance of time.
Ardeth couldn't hold back the flood that he had fought so many times the last few days. Finally, the real tears came, and he began to cry uncontrollably in his friend's arms.
This made Rick lose control as well, and he cried with Ardeth, unashamedly.
Ardeth, being a typical man, feared that crying in the presence of his friend would be a sign of weakness on his part. Trying desperately to gain a small measure of composure, he wiped the tears from his eyes and began to pull away from Rick's embrace.
"Forgive me, my friend," Ardeth said, rather embarrassed at his weakness. "I should have better control on my emotions."
Rick, seeing that Ardeth was having a hard time with the shame, combined with the immense pain that reflected in his dark amber eyes, placed his hands on Ardeth's shoulders and looked at him intently, tears still flowing down Rick's cheeks.
"Ardeth, my dear friend, I may have a flippant attitude most of the time, but I learned more about emotions last year at Ahm Shere, than I learned in my entire life. There, in front of the pyramid, I watched Evy die in my arms. I didn't know that she would be given back to me. The pain I felt was more than I ever experienced in my entire lifetime. I know what you are feeling to some degree. I know that Evy was given back to me and my son was delivered back to me safe. If it hadn't been for you, I would never have found my son."
Rick had to stop talking. It was so hard reliving his painful experience, but he would do anything to help his friend in his great anguish. Ardeth had been there for Rick, time and time again. His family had remained intact mostly because of Ardeth. Rick was ever grateful for that fact. Trying to find the words to express his remorse at the loss of Ardeth's wife and children, Rick finally got his thoughts to form into the right words.
"I just wish that I could have done the same for you and saved Bahiyaa and your little girls. Right now, I am dealing with that guilt. It is hard, very hard to handle."
Again, Rick had to pause, dealing with his own guilty feelings of being helpless when Ardeth needed him the most.
Ardeth was about to interrupt. Rick knew what he was thinking, that it wasn't Rick's fault nor could he have done anything to stop it. Rick raised his hand to silence Ardeth; indicating that he wasn't finished with what he had to say.
"But I have to gain a small measure of satisfaction that I am here for you now," he continued. "There is no shame in the hurt you can't hide. Ardeth, there is no need to try to hide your pain, especially not from Evy and me. You, Evy, and myself, well, we've been through so much together."
Ardeth nodded quietly, trying to control the gasping reflex that normally comes with intense crying.
Rick was about to lose even more control of his own emotions, the tears beginning to flow faster and his voice cracking; at the thoughts that still had a tendency to rend his heart into shreds.
"When Evy died in my arms, I couldn't stop crying. I had never felt pain like that, ever. I've seen many people die. I had never been close to anyone before fate brought us all together at Hamunaptra. Yeah, I know, it sounds weird, but that's what I think happened."
Ardeth nodded again, knowing full well what Rick meant.
Rick paused to grab his handkerchief to wipe his eyes and blow his runny nose. He continued to speak his thoughts.
"I never ever felt remorse, or feared for anyone before that time. But I knew that I had to seek retribution and take Imhotep down and whoever else was involved. That was all I could think of. Ardeth, I will stand with you against our enemy. Yes, our enemy. Even if the bad guys weren't after my family, they would still be my enemy because they are out to hurt you. Anyone who is your enemy is my enemy, remember that. You are more than just my best friend, you are my brother."
With this said, Ardeth was so emotionally moved, it was his turn to embrace Rick. Looking into Rick's eyes with a little less shame evident; Ardeth came to terms with his emotions. He struggled to find the right words.
"Thank you, my friend," he said. "Thank you for not judging my weakness. After my brother died, the only brothers I had were Bahir and Shariyf. I know that they are not my brothers in blood, but they have always been my brothers in heart. That is how I feel about you."
Ardeth paused, trying to clear his throat so his voice would stop cracking.
"But do not blame yourself for not being there to save my wife and children. You didn't know it had happened. I have blamed myself for not being there. If I had been there, they might have lived. But how could I save them when I was on guard duty? We all have questions and no comforting answers for them," he sighed. "I guess we just have to come to terms with them."
Evy, watching the two, ran towards them and put her arms around both men; the one she loved as a husband, and the other she loved as a brother. Ardeth reached around Evy's shoulders and held her in a tight embrace. She was crying so hysterically, Rick and Ardeth had a hard time trying to console her.
"Ardeth, I'm so very sorry," Evy cried. "I don't even know what to say, it hurts so badly."
Ardeth smiled gently through his own tears and hugged Evy close. Kissing her cheek, he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes.
"Evy, thank you. Bahiyaa loved you very much," Ardeth choked the words out.
"Oh Ardeth, I feel so horribly about Bahir," she said. "We don't even know if he lived. He sacrificed his life to save mine! I'm so very sorry! I know how close he was to you. Rick and I had become close to him through the years, as you know. He was always so kind to me. I just can't handle that he would do this, with having a wife to leave behind," Evy said, her heart aching with so much agony, she gasped out the words.
Ardeth bowed his head, hearing the words Evy spoke. It couldn't have hurt him more if someone had slashed his heart open. "Not only a wife, but an unborn child as well," he told her, with sorrow in his voice. "Bahir has always been a man of honor, and protecting you with his life would be typical of his character. He would not be able to live with the knowledge of you dying and his having been able to trade places with you. It is the life that we live, Evy, the way we were brought up; to protect the innocent, women and children, not only the accursed places we protect. It was Bahir's honor to do this for you. I cannot say that I am happy that he is dead or dying, but I am happy that if he did die, or does, it is with the honor that he truly deserves."
Evy's eyes opened wide in horror, now realizing that Bahir would be leaving behind not only his wife, but also the child he would never see. She began to cry harder, realizing just how much Bahir's sacrifice had cost him and his family.
Together, the three mourned. And together as one, they prayed for the safe return of Alex and Jonathan and for Bahir, that God would grant him healing, for the sacrifice he had so selflessly made.
Abdul watched from a distance, feeling the pain and the ultimate anger culminating inside of him. He made a silent vow that he would make a stand against Zouhir, side by side, with Ardeth. He could not accept any other terms.
Ardeth, Rick and Evy finally began to walk towards the rest of the group, where the women and children were being helped by the other warriors. Many of the women and children had severe blisters on their feet, as they had been made to walk on the hot sand for so long. The warriors were tending to them as best as they could, while feeling the same anger that Ardeth and Shariyf had felt.
Evy and Rick weren't aware of the fact that in the midst of Ardeth's and Shariyf's journey to rendezvous with them, they had come across this group of people. Ardeth explained the events that had unfolded. Evy began to cry again, at the viciousness of these animals. Yes, that is all Evy could think of, to refer to them. There was no other word to describe these men. Evy hurriedly went over and helped the warriors tend to the poor souls.
Evy was shocked when she saw Shatarra, Ardeth's mother. Oh, what else would these animals do? she thought. What a horrid shame. She tenderly ministered to the elderly woman that she had grown to love as a mother. Shatarra was in very bad shape. Her condition had not improved much since they arrived at the oasis. Evy and another young woman, whose name was Hayat, worked continuously to try and help Ardeth's mother. Evy couldn't contain her tears as Hayat showed her the whip marks on Shatarra's back. What barbaric animals they were! Evy cried as she heard the painful moans emitted from Shatarra as she gently helped Hayat clean Shatarra's wounds.
Ardeth and Rick stood by the group of women. Rick turned his eyes to look at Ardeth. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Those men had abducted Shatarra!
Rick bent down and looked at Shatarra and bowed his head in sorrow, seeing that she was very, very ill from the torment that she had endured. Rick gently caressed her cheek. The light touch stirred Shatarra enough to encourage her to open her eyes. She had trouble focusing her eyes, but Shatarra, through her delirium, did manage to recognize Rick. She weakly smiled at him and her eyes still had that beautiful sparkle of love that always draw people to instantly like her. Rick bent over farther and lovingly kissed her cheek. Never knowing his parents, he agreed with Evy; Shatarra was a mother to them both. Rick was so upset with her condition he gently moved the few strands of hair that were clinging to her moist skin. Giving her a smile, Rick got up and walked away so that he could come to grips with his feelings on this situation. How many women and children suffered needlessly because of this maniacal group of animals? He shook his head, deep in thought, when Ardeth walked up to him. Rick was so upset, that he didn't even hear him approach.
"Rick, I think we need to gather together and make a plan of action before we leave," Ardeth said. "I will get Abdul and Shariyf to join us in planning out our strategy."
"Umm, Ardeth, I think that you really need to go and talk to Abdul," said Rick. "He's really down, you know? He's riddled with guilt because of his relation to Zouhir. I am really worried about him. You think before we all have our pow wow, that you can give him a little pep talk?" Rick asked reluctantly, wondering how Ardeth really felt about the whole situation.
Ardeth scanned the area and located Abdul. He was off by himself, away from even the warriors that had arrived with him, Rick and Evy.
The men had built a fire, and two warriors had prepared food. It was already finished cooking, and the two warriors were distributing a meager, but greatly appreciated meal to the women and children first, then were giving out what was left to the rest of the men. Ardeth politely refused the food and told one of the warriors to give it to the women as an extra ration to share as best as they could. Rick followed suit. When one of the warriors tried to hand Abdul a plate, he politely refused as well, and turned away, walking deeper into the foliage of the oasis.
Ardeth looked at Rick and gave him a nod, before following the path the Abdul had taken. He was very worried about him, and his state of mind. Ardeth knew that Abdul was carrying such an incredible burden, and he hoped that he could encourage him and make him realize that he had no reason to feel this shame, as he was not responsible for his father's irrational acts of barbarism.
Ardeth thought he would never catch up to Abdul. "He must be running," he thought, still trying to locate his friend.
The oasis, even though it was rather small compared to some of the others deeper in the Sahara, was still rather large, and rich with very thick foliage. Ardeth looked around and marveled at the beauty of it all. Getting his thoughts back to Abdul, Ardeth continued his search.
There was another pond a good distance from the one that they were camped by. Ardeth looked around at the area surrounding the pond. There, high up on a rather large boulder, overlooking the water, sat Abdul.
Ardeth wondered what words of wisdom could help Abdul. He wanted to help him desperately. Ardeth had always cared very much for Abdul, despite Abdul's penchant for shying away from Bahir, Ardeth, and Shariyf's attempts to welcome him into their inner circle. Silently, Ardeth offered up a prayer to Allah to help Abdul with his inner suffering.
Ardeth began his ascent up the large boulder. It was a very difficult climb. Ardeth, still rather exhausted from lack of sleep and his lost appetite as well as the exhausting journey itself, had a really tough time climbing it. It was jagged in some areas, so Ardeth carefully avoided those spots, knowing that he didn't need any unnecessary injuries. He was sure he would be receiving enough of those very soon. Finally, Ardeth reached the top, and he carefully approached Abdul.
Sitting down next to him, Ardeth looked over the pond, marveling at its crystal clear water. Abdul continued to look ahead at nothing in particular, anything but Ardeth.
Ardeth cleared his throat, trying to think of what to say. "Abdul, please look at me," he earnestly implored.
Abdul shifted his eyes, but still didn't look at him looking instead down into the clear blue water.
Ardeth waited a couple of minutes in silence. He knew that Abdul was in so much pain and that he blamed himself for his father's actions. He knew that he was going to have a very hard time trying to get through to Abdul. But Ardeth vowed to himself that he would not leave until Abdul heard what he had to say.
Suddenly Abdul lifted his eyes skyward. His profile was that of a man who looked like the weight of the entire world was on his shoulders, a man who desperately was trying to hold onto that burden and trying to find a way to rectify the situation.
"Abdul, I'm asking you once again, please, my friend, look at me," Ardeth said, emphatically.
Abdul sighed heavily, knowing that he did not wish to be disrespectful to Ardeth. After all, Ardeth was his King, as well as a friend. Abdul had a very deep regard for Ardeth, even though he would shy away from the three men who had so often welcomed him and encouraged him to join them for meals or just a chance to sit down and engage in small talk. Abdul had very seldom even sat for a meal with them, even on guard duty at Hamunaptra. Most of the time, he would just sit off to the side and avoid any type of interaction with the rest of the warriors. But the few times that he had sat with Ardeth, Bahir and Shariyf, he wanted so much to accept their kind offer. He knew that the three of them, as well as the other warriors, didn't hold him responsible for Zouhir's elusive acts of violence through the years. But Abdul knew, deep in his heart, that HE was the one with the problem, not the others.
Ever so slowly, his eyes met Ardeth's ever-beckoning ones.
Ardeth smiled at him, glad that Abdul was starting to respond a little. It was better than nothing. He understood his deep feeling of despair all too well. "Abdul, please tell me what you are feeling," Ardeth asked.
Abdul's response was a small laugh. "Ardeth, you want to know what I feel? I feel so horrible right now; I wish that I would die. How would you even expect me to feel? I hurt for you. I hurt for Bahiyaa, Ablaa, and Alia. I hurt for Shatarra. I hurt for Bahir. I hurt for Akhtar, Akilah, Noorah and Shakar. Shall I continue, Ardeth? I have seen your family and friends suffer from Zouhir's hateful revenge. Zouhir, my father," Abdul spat the name and reference out as if it were the vilest words he had ever uttered.
"Maybe, just maybe, if I had gone with him when he left, I might have been able to change him," Abdul continued. "At least I'd be able to say that I did my best to change him. But I have done nothing but watch his vengeance rain down upon your loved ones. I am sickened by his acts of barbarism, it shames me to know that I am his son," Abdul said, shaking his head in disgust.
"Abdul," said Ardeth, with a sigh. "Let me see if I can explain my thoughts on the matter of your being his son. There is no way ever that I, nor anyone else, have ever thought it to be your fault for his ways. How can a man be responsible for the action of another? I know that as the leader of the Medjai, I am responsible for the actions of my people. As well, you know, as a Chosen warrior, you have the responsibility of the actions of the men under your command. That is a different scenario than the one that involves your connection to Zouhir. As far as I'm concerned, you are not his son. You are of a higher standard than Zouhir could ever attain. You are better than him, my friend."
Ardeth paused, trying to think of what to say next, hoping he was making some sense to Abdul.
"I have, and always will have the utmost respect and trust in you," he continued. "That is why I elected to make you a Chosen warrior. You are trustworthy and true to our duty and above all you are honorable. Abdul, you are one of the most honorable men I have ever known. I would have never chosen you to be a commanding warrior if I had not thought that. You are of the highest standard of character."
Ardeth stopped again, reaching over, and placing an assuring hand on Abdul's shoulder. "And above all, Abdul, I am your friend, I always have been and always will be. Do not blame yourself for the murders of my wife and children, nor my father, brother and sisters. Do not blame yourself for Bahir's mortal wounds. Please, my friend, stop burdening yourself with such a weight of blame, and understand that there is no need to do this. Above all, I need you, I need you more than you realize. I trust you and I need you to help me."
Abdul stared at Ardeth the whole time he gave his rather long speech of undying trust and concern for his welfare. He averted his eyes, once again, trying to hold back tears of anger and relief, both emotions fighting for release at the same time.
Abdul wanted so very much to know what relief really felt like. Relief from the hurt and shame he carried all these years. No one had ever blamed him! No one, throughout his entire life, had even hinted that he was at fault. No one outside of his own family, that is. Often, he contemplated that fateful day that had turned his life into the hellish nightmare that he had lived in ever since. He and his mother had been taken care of by his grandfather, Hydar. His mother, Ishana, was now an elderly woman who had so much suppressed hate inside her.
When Zouhir had been banished, she had been glad to see him leave. But because Abdul resembled Zouhir, she began to resent him after Zouhir had left them and set up his own tent. Before that time, she had always been an attentive and loving mother. From that day; the day of Zouhir's banishment, she didn't want anything to do with Abdul at all.
His mother had grown to despise Zouhir long before his acts of barbarism warranted his banishment. Zouhir had abandoned her and their son. But because Abdul was a mirror image of his father, it only reminded her of the man who had turned his back on them. She just didn't realize that through her resentment and hatred of her husband, she turned her back on her own son, because of his remarkable resemblance. Abdul's grandfather, on the other hand, gave him unconditional love. His grandfather was a wise and loving man and it showed through his actions.
Abdul, still very silent and staring out into an endless void, reflected back on the years behind him. Ardeth, knowing that Abdul was deep in thought, continued to sit in silence, staring off in the distance, giving Abdul his much needed private moment.
Abdul remembered back to a time when Yushua had come to Hydar's tent. Hydar was attending to the many duties that an Honored Second has to perform. As Yushua waited for his friend to come back, he witnessed, firsthand, the negligent treatment Ishana gave to Abdul. It hurt Yushua deeply to witness this. At the time, Abdul had just turned six years old. His mother was preparing a meal, and knew that Hydar was going to be a little late, so she prepared a plate for Yushua and herself. She made no effort to feed Abdul, he had to go and get it himself. To Yushua, it had looked like she didn't even acknowledge his presence. The expression on Yushua's face was one that would forever be imprinted in Abdul's young mind. That was the first day that Yushua had ever shown disrespect to anyone in the tribe. He'd stood, giving Ishana a very stern, disapproving look, and walked straight out of the tent, leaving the plate that she had prepared for him untouched. Today, that image of Yushua's reaction was still as fresh as when he had first witnessed it.
After that day, Yushua made a special effort to spend as much time as possible with Abdul. It was because of his grandfather and Yushua Bey's encouragement and training that Abdul was the outstanding warrior and honorable man that he was today.
Abdul came back from the depths of his misery and looked over at Ardeth, who'd been staring off into the distance. Abdul knew that he wanted to tell Ardeth so much. How much he appreciated Ardeth's constant vigilance in his efforts to show his trust and acceptance of Abdul. He knew that Ardeth had always strived to get close to him, and as a matter of fact, Abdul felt very close to Ardeth. But accepting that closeness was very hard to reveal; each time he tried, he failed. The memories of his past were always too strong for him to overcome.
Dreading even bringing anything up, Abdul struggled for the words. For the first time in the last twenty-nine years, Abdul spoke of his feelings.
"Ardeth, do you know what it is like to be shunned?" Abdul asked.
Ardeth came around from his own thoughts. "What?" he asked.
"I asked if you knew what it was like to be shunned?" Abdul repeated.
"No, I don't," Ardeth answered. "But neither do you. No one has ever tried to shun you or blame you for anything that Zouhir did."
"Zouhir ruined my life," Abdul said. "He took everything away from me! My rights as a member of this tribe, the right to have a life."
"Abdul, my friend, that has only been your interpretation on the situation," Ardeth said. "No one has ever said it was your fault!" Ardeth tried to explain his point.
"Really, Ardeth?" Abdul said, laughing mirthlessly. "Is that what you have thought all these years? Well, that is not so."
Ardeth looked at Abdul in surprise. He didn't understand what Abdul was getting at but Ardeth was surely going to get to the bottom of this. He hadn't been aware of anything going on of this sort in the tribe, and he was going to put a stop to it!
"Who, Abdul? Who are you talking about? I want to know! I demand to know! Who would dare do this!?" Ardeth sputtered out, very angry at this revelation.
"It is of no consequence, Ardeth," Abdul replied. "I really shouldn't have even mentioned it. It is not important, the most important thing right now is to take down Zouhir and his criminal connections."
"Wait Abdul, you say it is of no consequence?" queried Ardeth. "It is to me, as well as to many of us. Your suffering as well as your triumphs are shared by more than you know. All these years, my sincere hope has been that you would realize that you have always been a part of us."
Ardeth began to rethink his approach. He had to get to the core of Abdul's pain, even if he had to make him relive it.
"Abdul, please tell me, my friend, who is treating you in this manner? Just as I know you wouldn't let me down, you should know by now that I wouldn't let you down. I need your help, but I can't get that help unless I help you first. Please tell me who," Ardeth said, emphatically.
"Ardeth, it is an old story. As I said, of no consequence. I have come to terms with it a long time ago. You were just a baby when all this transpired. I do not wish to, as the American would say, 'dig up old bones'. What good would that accomplish?" Abdul said, trying to avoid the situation.
"What good would that accomplish, Abdul?" Ardeth answered Abdul's question with a question. "I think that it would accomplish very much. I have watched you shy away from all of us throughout all these years. We have welcomed you with open arms, yet you walk away. I know what it will accomplish; healing. Healing for your heart and for your soul," Ardeth said, earnestly hoping to convince his friend.
Abdul sighed, knowing that Ardeth would not let him get out of this. He had already been cornered by the O'Connell's, and had to bare part of his soul to them. Now Ardeth was trying to reopen the worst wounds of all. But he knew that Ardeth meant to help him, and he wanted so desperately to reach out to Ardeth for that very help.
Abdul hesitated for a moment, knowing that Ardeth was giving him time to decide. He looked up into Ardeth's piercing eyes to see that he had the look of a man on the edge, his own raw pain mixed with a new pain; the need to know who was hurting Abdul. He appreciated Ardeth's great concern; he was a man of great principal and integrity.
Silently, Abdul decided that now was the time to face his own demons, and confide in Ardeth, for the comfort and solace that he had denied himself for so many years.
"Ardeth, you have always been good to me. You always welcomed me, and I know that I turned away from that welcome. But, I have had much to conquer within myself." He paused, with a sigh. "What I am about to tell you, I have never divulged to anyone. Not even my grandfather knew all of what happened in those early years preceding Zouhir's banishment."
Ardeth listened intently, overjoyed that he'd finally gotten through to his friend, but also nervously wondering what he was about to hear.
"A very long time ago, I learned how to face the fact that I wasn't wanted," Abdul started. "Even before Zouhir abandoned us, my mother always treated me as her greatest failure. She told me many times that it was my fault for Zouhir leaving. She didn't know that Zouhir had developed such bizarre habits." He sighed. "He had always been very hateful to me. From a very young age, I don't know, maybe as young as two, I received more beatings than you could imagine. All I could ever remember about him was his beatings and his berating words. Ishana blamed me because Zouhir left us, she said that if I had been a better son, Zouhir would've stayed."
Abdul paused, gathering his thoughts, and his nerve to continue.
"After Zouhir left our home and isolated himself from us and everyone else, my mother still blamed me. She would often remind me that if I hadn't been born, she would still have Zouhir with her." He paused, and looked at Ardeth. "The very day you were born was the day that Zouhir was banished. Even after all the physical evidence of Zouhir's twisted mind in his tent, my mother still blamed me. Ishana told me that I was the one who had driven him to that state of mind, because of my inefficiency as a son."
Ardeth shook his head, too shocked to say anything.
"Hydar had withdrawn into himself for a while," Abdul went on. "I can understand that, it was his son who had done all those hideous atrocities. He had to come to terms of the loss of his son and the crimes of his son as well. But even though Hydar had taken care of my mother and I, he wasn't aware for a long time that Ishana was neglecting me. When he found out, through your grandfather, he took me away from my mother and kept me with him."
Ardeth sat there with a horrified look in his eyes. He didn't realize just how much Abdul had gone through in his life. Where Ardeth's young years had been filled with nurturing love, Abdul, on the other hand, had been subjected to the worst life imaginable for a young child to endure, filled with blame, abuse, and neglect.
"Ardeth, do you remember anything about that time?" Abdul asked him, seeing Ardeth's expression.
"I remember that you were living with your grandfather, that's all," Ardeth stuttered out a reply, too stunned to believe all this. "All I remember is your grandfather being a kind and just man. He was always good to all children."
"Yes, he was," Abdul agreed. "A very good man indeed. He told me many times how much he loved me. I'm sure he did this so as to restore some measure of confidence and trust that had been stripped away from me from a very young age. Your grandfather, Yushua, also gave me special treatment. I am forever grateful for his kindness. He and my grandfather taught me everything that I know today."
Ardeth felt a little better to hear that his grandfather had tried to help the young Abdul.
"The day that your grandfather and mine died was the saddest day of my life," Abdul said, sorrowfully. "I have often wondered, even though there was no evidence, that Zouhir had a hand in it. After all, it was odd that both of them died on the same day, within the same hour."
Ardeth looked at Abdul, quizzically, realizing what he meant. It was not unusual for warriors to die on the same day, nor even the same hour. But neither Hydar nor Yushua had engaged in battle on the day that they died.
"To this day, my mother, even though I make sure she is well taken care of, does not recognize me as her son," Abdul told Ardeth. "She has so much bitterness in her. I have not spoken to her in twenty-nine years."
Ardeth looked at him, realizing the true magnitude of Abdul's suffering. He shook his head in utter dismay. Ardeth had never experienced anything like this. Normally he could help any of his warriors that came to him with a problem, whether it be about disputes on duty related situations or personal ones. But this was way beyond his comprehension. No way had he ever heard of such a situation occurring within the tribe.
Ardeth had been only one year old when Hydar had taken Abdul into his home. As Ardeth had grown to an age of remote understanding and remembrance, he had seen his own grandfather doting on Abdul as well as Hydar. Ardeth had never been jealous of it, he had always liked Abdul and thought of him as an older brother. But even though Abdul was always respectful, he stayed his distance, as if he was not good enough to be with Ardeth and his brothers. That had explained why Yushua had been so fond of Abdul. He was the one who had discovered the problem to begin with.
Now, another curious factor had been placed into their already complicated situation. Did Zouhir kill Hydar and Yushua? Ardeth thought.
"Abdul, I am so sorry for what you have gone through in your life," he said. "I know that there is no way to rectify this situation. We cannot go back to the past. If that were possible, I think we all would go back and change something. I think the most important thing is for you to reassure yourself that you are of a much better standard than Zouhir. As a matter of fact, you are of a better standard than most Medjai. I have always trusted you. You have been one of the best warriors I could have ever hoped for. That is why I placed you in the most trusted position that any warrior can attain; that of a Chosen Warrior. I had no reservations about entrusting you with that position and I still don't to this day. You have proved yourself many times deserving that title."
"Ardeth, I failed you!" Abdul suddenly blurted. "It is simple as that! I was at the village when we were attacked. I tried to stop them, but I couldn't!" Abdul said berating himself for his inability to save Ardeth's family.
"Abdul, our village is very large," Ardeth said, now understanding that there were two problems that were devouring Abdul's heart and soul, threatening now to destroy what little confidence he had in himself.
"There was no way you could have known what would happen. Whenever we are attacked, as you know, everything gets chaotic. We have to be everywhere at the same time. Yes, we are to protect the women and children and elderly first and foremost. But there are so many, how could you be everywhere at once? No, my friend, you could not. Nor could I have. If I had been there, there is no guarantee that I could have prevented what happened to my family." He sighed, forcing back his emotions at thought of his family. "Abdul, I need you," he said, yet again. "I need you because I believe in you and I trust you. Yes, I believe in you. I always have and I always will. Do not think on this lightly. Do not berate yourself for things beyond your control. You have taught me a very valuable lesson. This is what I have been doing the entire time since the attack; I have blamed myself for my family dying, for not being there to help them. But if I had been there, there is no guarantee that I could have prevented it just as you couldn't have prevented it," Ardeth said, now, new light dawning on him.
"Abdul, we are going to take Zouhir and his men down. We are going to do this not only for my benefit, but also for yours, my friend. You have suffered enough; the time of your suffering is over with. We will conquer them, and with their demise, so will your legacy of emotional torment come to a close. All that will be left will be to confront your mother."
"Ardeth, what good will that do?" Abdul asked incredulously, knowing his mother's vehement feelings towards him.
"I think the best recourse will be to let her know that you forgive her," Ardeth said, smiling. "Let her know that you forgive her, and let it go. Then it will all be up to her."
Abdul, realizing what Ardeth meant, smiled a genuine smile for the first time he could remember. Ardeth had given him the ability to see the light in this situation. But most of all, Ardeth had given him hope for the future, within himself. Truly, Ardeth was a man of wisdom beyond his years.
"Well, Abdul, we need to gather together and make a plan of action. When you are ready, please join us; I will need your opinion on it. We will be over by the other pond," Ardeth smiled back. The first genuine smile that had graced his features since these atrocities began several days before.
Abdul reached out to him, as Ardeth was about to get up. Ardeth stopped and looked at Abdul's outstretched hand. He reached out and grasped it.
"Thank you, Ardeth," Abdul said, voice thick with feeling. "It has been a long hard road. Thank you for not giving up on me," he said, eyes glistening.
With a nod, Ardeth closed his eyes in acknowledgement. He stood up to leave and Abdul quickly followed. Now he was ready for all this to end. Together they walked toward the pond where the others rested and waited.
While walking, Ardeth posed a question that had he had been pondering for quite some time.
"Do you think it would be better if you weren't present directly, when we face-off with Zouhir?" Ardeth asked. "I mean, would you rather not be present to see him, considering the fact that he was your father?"
"Ardeth, I wouldn't miss it for the world," Abdul replied, much to Ardeth's astonishment, at Abdul's reaction. Maybe he had gotten through to Abdul better than he had even thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rick and Evy sat by the pond. All were resting, as the journey was going to be a long one and many were very ill. They needed the rest and the warriors were trying to figure out just how they were going to bring all these women and children with them. It would be unwise to leave them at the oasis until they got back from wherever they were headed.
Rick had overheard the warriors speaking, but didn't understand much of it, so Evy had translated for the most part. Rick was in agreement with the warriors. It wouldn't be wise to bring all those women and children out into the blazing desert to their unknown destination.
Evy got up, wanting to stretch her legs. She walked along the ponds edge, wanting to check on Shatarra. Evy hoped that if Shatarra's condition changed for the worse, Hayat would inform her. Evy had immediately taken to Hayat. She was a very young woman with a kind heart that was evident in everything that she did. Evy had been told of her little boy dying in the desert and her heart went out to her. Hayat, through her own personal suffering, had been very brave and put her own feelings aside to take care of others. Evy liked that quality in a person.
Walking along the ponds edge, she saw a set of footprints. They meandered along the edge, then went towards the thick foliage. Evy wondered who had gone through that direction. Her curiosity got the best of her and she followed the prints. Shortly, she was hidden by the dense growth.
Rick had fallen asleep. He awoke when he heard Ardeth and Abdul approaching. Shariyf had been with the other warriors, discussing their situation, and he joined Ardeth and Abdul.
"Where is Evy?" Ardeth asked.
Rick looked around, bleary eyed. He knew she was there when he fell asleep, but he couldn't see her anywhere. Fear began to rise in Rick's mind.
Ardeth looked at Abdul, then Shariyf. They knew what he was saying without words even being spoken.
Abdul, turning to the other warriors, gave orders to start a search.
But he noticed something, something very strange. There were a few warriors missing.