Poison- Chapter 9
Why the hell is my room so bright? I don't remember ever opening the shades. It's so fucking cold in here. I yawn and sit up on my elbows, trying to rub the bleariness from my eyes. And when the hell did i paint my room pink?
Now suddenly awake, I sit strait up, realizing the fact that I'm on the floor. And I'm also not in my own house. Not to mention the fact that i have a pounding headache and i feel like I'm going to puke up a lung.
"Oh Jesus..." I mutter, grinding the heels of my hands into my eyes. Another set of lungs snoring quietly from the bed bring me further into reality, making me paranoid and jumpy. I peer cautiously over the fluffy comforter, seeing a head of puffy red hair and a soft looking flannel shirt to match. "Oh fuck..." I curse, a feeling of panic rolling around in my gut with whatever the hell i ingested last night. My sounds of turmoil seem to rouse Kyle from his sleep, and he rolls over with this blissfully satisfied look on his face. Until he opens his eyes anyway; then reality crashes into him like a freight train and he shoots straight up.
"Where the hell am i? Why are you on the floor? What time is it? What's going on? What happened?" He shoots off questions so fast my head spins.
"Okay, okay, I'm going to stop you right there." I grumble, holding up a hand to stop him. He scowls at me, folding his arms across his chest as i rub my temple. Small flashes of memories flit across my vision, but it's all pretty blurry. "Are you as hung over as i am? Because it's obstructing my rational thought at the moment."
"Not too bad. I can form full thoughts, obviously." Kyle says, his voice significantly lower than it was a moment ago. "Sorry, by the way."
"'S fine, i guess." I mutter, my shoulders drooping as a wave of nausea washes over me. "I think we're still at Wendy's. Unless your room is pink and you've got posters of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry hanging up." Kyle chuckles, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head.
"No. Not as of late." He mumbles, flopping back onto the bed. "I hate that moment of confusion when i first wake up."
"I'm still stuck in that moment. Do you remember what happened?"
"Um... I don't think you're going to like it." Those words make me both more nervous and nauseous then i was before.
"Oh Jesus Christ." I paw around for the garbage can next to the bed and hold it to my face, purging everything I'd eaten or drank in the last twenty four hours into the pale pink plastic. I feel a hand on the back of my neck, and Kyle's voice somewhere thrown in there.
"No," I mutter, shrugging him away. "Please don't." Kyle sighs but removes his hand, looking away as i wipe my mouth and straighten up.
"How much do you remember?" He asks softly, scooting over on the bed to make room for me. I notice it's only a twin.
"Um... I vaguely remember the conversation we had in the backyard last night, and how i got up for a drink because you dropped a pretty heavy bomb. But it kinda goes blurry there, you know? Almost like I'm watching a movie montage."
"Okay, I'm scared to ask, but what do you remember out of the montage?" Memories of last night blur past my mind's eye, just weird clips of short flashbacks that sort of fit together. Like the smell of the alcohol i downed after i ran inside, the feel of it burning down my throat. Then it sort of just melds together, like someone turned on the heat and left my brain out to sit. I remember the pulse of the music around me, then Kyle got there somehow, telling me how weird i was when i was drunk. Then i remember kissing him, slowly and sweetly, and dragging him up a random flight of stairs. I remember the feeling of skin on skin and kisses and how good Kyle's hair smelled. I remember how he pulled my hair so often because i moaned every time he did that and i remember how he writhed beneath me when i pressed my thumbs into his hips. I remember how he found the right spot on my neck and kept kissing it, biting it, rolling it between his lips-
"Fuck," I curse, pulling the comforter over my legs. Thinking about this isn't going to do much for me, especially below the waist. Thank god Kyle has a good sense of humor. My shoulders fall when i notice a purplish bruise at the base of my neck and i heave a long sigh, glancing up at him with a desperate look in my eyes. "Was i top or bottom?" Kyle looks at me for a second and bursts into hysterical laughter, holding his sides. He winces after a moment and shakes his head.
"No worries, you were top. Your bravado was never harmed." He says, massaging his temples. "But now i get what you were talking about with the whole noise thing."
"Brutal, right?"
"Brutal." Kyle chuckles softly, standing up and stretching. "So is the smell of that shit you just tossed." He gestures to the can and i wrinkle my nose, nodding silently.
"Wait," I say as he turns to walk out. "What does this make us? What does this change?" Kyle blinks a few times, chewing on his lip in thought.
"Um... Nothing, if you don't want it to be anything." Kyle says, shrugging once and sitting on the foot of the bed. He looks at his lap, wringing his fingers. "But it could go the other way too." I offer him a soft smile, scratching the back of my neck.
"Honestly, i can't think right now." I say, sighing. "But i will get back to you. I promise."
"Thanks," He says quietly. Before i can really know what's happening, he presses a brief goodbye kiss on my lips, smiling slightly as he quickly walks out of the room.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
When i get home i make it upstairs without much attention from either of my parents or my sister, thank god. After puking once more and a quick shower, i take some aspirin and head downstairs, practically starving. When i get to the kitchen, i see my dad sitting at the nook with his glasses, tapping away at the laptop.
"Craig," He says, making me jump in the middle of pouring a mug of coffee for myself. "Come here." My jaw tightens but i force my legs to move, stopping just in front of him. "Why weren't you home last night?"
"I... uh-" Too bad my brain is too muddled for me to give a valid and plausible answer.
"Answer me." He says, without looking up from the screen. "Do i have to get your mother?" I chew on my lip. "Were you with some girl?" My breath stalls in my lungs, my throat tightening.
"Um..." My dad's face gradually forms a smile and he turns to me.
"So all these years you were holding out on me, huh? Not talking about any of the girls in your class, never asking me for advice; but I knew you had it in you! Did you at least use protection?" I blink in surprise.
"Y-Yeah, of course I did." I mutter, trying to shed the confused and slightly hurt look on my face.
"Well, when can we meet her?"
"I... I'm not sure. She's..." I rub the back of my neck, looking at the floor. "...she's not really comfortable with telling people yet."
"Oh, a shy one. It's okay. We'll see her when she's comfortable with it." He winks at me before turning back to his computer, leaving me with a sick feeling in my stomach. I ditch the coffee altogether and retreat into my room, closing the door behind me and leaning against it with wide eyes.
What the hell did i just get myself into? Like, i knew i was stupid but this... this is a whole new level of brainlessness. I slowly make my way to my bed, swallowing hard and diving under the covers. I don't want to deal with this. I don't need to deal with this. I hate this with a burning passion. But i have to deal with this. I need to deal with this, or it's going to get worse. I did this to myself, i should be able to get myself out of it. And fuck; what am i supposed to tell Kyle? That I'm totally dropping him on his ass and diving for Kenny, who might not even be gay? Who does that? And i am not just leaving this where it is. I'm not fucking Bella Swan who can just go "Whoops i like two guys i guess time will solve this." Time will not fucking solve this. I can't let the two guys just battle it out or try to win me over or something annoying like that. I have to do this. It's all on me.
I don't realize I'm hyperventilating until my ears start to ring.
I cover my chest with my palm and take a few deep breaths, calming myself down slowly. Now i know what Tweek means when he shouts about how there's always too much pressure. I just need to think about this rationally, not let it get to my head. Just make a mental list. Talk to Kyle about not wanting to do anything just yet; he did tell you that he would be perfectly okay going either way. Talk to Kenny; just ask him a few simple questions. It's that easy. Talk to mom or dad; preferably mom, when dad isn't home. She was always much more tolerable about things like this. Plus, she would be less likely to kick me out on the street or send me to live with my cousins or something.
Just as i get my thoughts in order, i get a few texts from Kenny. For a moment, my face lights up and i open the messages quickly, reading them as quickly as i can. My face falls as i go down the line.
-Kenny-
Why did you screw around with Kyle last night?
-Kenny-
I didn't know you were a person who would sleep around like that
-Kenny-
I'm just surprised at you, that's all
-Kenny-
Maybe I'm overreacting, sorry
-Kenny-
Just ignore me
I drop the phone on my mattress and rub my eyes, dragging my hand down my face. I stretch my arms and send Kenny a response, fixing my hat before walking downstairs.
-Craig-
I'll be over in five