Chapter 10 –

The light from the desk lamp reflected off the blade of the dagger as she turned it back and forth in her right hand. She supposed this was his first gift to her, not a typical present between lovers, but quite fitting for them. Not for the first time, she was astonished by the intricate details, the skeletal face and horns along the hilt, the strange spear like shape of the blade. She tapped her fingers against the desk nervously before flattening her left palm so it was flush against the wood. Taking a deep breath, she raised the dagger and slammed the blade into the back of her hand, wincing in pain as she began pulling it back out. She sat there frozen watching in awe as the deep wound sealed itself the moment the metal point left her skin.

"So much for a fluke," she muttered to the empty room. Tossing the dagger onto the desk, she stood up and began walking towards her dresser. It had been a long shot she knew and now it was time to face the facts. He had done something to her, but when and how? Worst of all, now Clint suspected the truth, he was probably with Nick Fury at this very moment filling him in on what happened in those last few minutes of battle. She had been replaying the moment over and over in her mind since she had returned to her apartment.

Thanos had attacked the helicarrier with full force just as Loki had told her he would do. She had arrived in the very instant that the fight had begun. Fury had ordered the ship to take off, hoping to minimize civilian casualties by keeping the battle to the skyline. The Avengers had fought them back hard, forcing them into retreat. It was the last few skrulls abandoned by their allies and stranded aboard the aircraft that enlightened her to Loki's newest mischief. If only she had been quicker, she thought to herself once more, then no one would be the wiser, least of all her. After all, ignorance is bliss and she certainly wished at the moment that she was still unaware of her newfound healing powers. She sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror above her dresser, she didn't look any different, "You can't change what happened, what's done is done," she told her reflection as she began to pace the room.

She could not erase the image of that final moment in her mind; she had been fighting a skrull, so intent on the battle in front of her that when she finally got the upper hand on her foe, she didn't notice the one standing behind her until it was too late. The long spear went right through her rib cage. She heard Clint scream her name as she began to fall, watching the arrow spin past her as she collapsed. She heard the body of her attacker fall to the ground behind her. Hawkeye was at her side in an instant, "I have to pull it out, Tasha, it's going to be okay," he said gently as he yanked it out in one swift motion. She would never forget the look in his eyes as he stared down at her in disbelief. "What the hell's going on?" he questioned her angrily.

She looked down and found to her shock that except for the tare in her suit, there wasn't a mark on her skin; she placed her finger on it in disbelief. Tracing the line of her rib, she was dumfounded. She knew she had an enhanced immune system, courtesy of the Russian equivalent of the super soldier serum but that only meant that she healed quicker than the average person, not instantaneously.

"Maybe it's a dormant perk from the Russian's, I'm not going to complain," she said hesitantly, trying to make light of the situation, hoping against hope that he would accept the idea blindly.

"What kind of idiot do you take me for?" his eyes narrowing as he stared at her.

"Stop looking at me like I've got three heads, Barton," her voice emotionless, despite the turmoil going on inside of her mind as she stood up casually, dusting herself off.

"I suspected something, ever since that night he made off with the Tesseract, I just I hoped I was wrong," he shook his head as he spoke, and the disappointment in his voice, crushed her, "I really wanted to be wrong, Tasha."

"I don't know what you mean," her voice flat and distant, she hated how easily the words fell from her lips, deceit was second nature to her, it was why she was so good at her job.

"Is that the way you want to play it? After everything we've been through together? I saw the look on your face, you didn't even know that he did it, did you?" he admonished as he threw the spear to the floor, "What else has he done that he's kept from you."

He had walked away from her then, leaving her alone and feeling like a complete fool. She could think of nothing else to do but to come home and wait for the inevitable. The entire team would know soon enough, Clint might have kept his suspicions to himself before about her and Loki but there was no way he would be able to now. She had no doubt that Shield would stop at nothing to get the answers they wanted once they were informed of the way her body healed itself. So she waited for them to come to her door.

How could Loki do this to her? Not only had he augmented her immune system without asking her permission but he had done it without even giving her a hint of the possibility that her own body could now betray her. Clint was right, what else was he keeping from her.

As if on cue, he appeared before her. He was wearing black jeans with a dark green shirt and black leather jacket. He held in his hands a walking staff, which she had no doubt was his scepter hidden beneath one of his illusion spells. He smiled at her; he had the gall to smile at her. She was furious.

"Get out," she fumed, "I don't want you here."

He had the nerve to look wounded at the sound of her words, his eyes like a child who had no idea what they did wrong, his eyebrow raised in confusion. No, she refused to be taken in by him, never again.

"Why are you so angry?" he took a tentative step closer to her as he spoke," I told you of Thanos' plans, this battle was his doing, not mine. I took no part in it."

She stomped back toward her desk, picking up the dagger swiftly and whirling back around to face him. He took a step backward as he gazed down at her hand holding the handle of the blade tightly in her fist. She raised her arm, the tip of the blade pointing toward him; she could only imagine what he thought she was going to do with it.

"Would you like to witness your handiwork first hand?" she asked as she aimed the blade downward toward her thigh.

"No, thank you," he inhaled as he caught her arm in mid-motion, seizing the weapon from her hands and tossing it onto the floor. "So that is why my little spider is in such a fury?" he mused as he released her arm. "Is it such a bad thing to want to keep you safe?"

"What did you do to me? What else have you done to me?" she spat out," Do you think I'm some little toy that you can alter as you please? You had no right!"

"I did nothing to you, but give you a gift," his voice like velvet as he moved closer, reaching out his hand toward her before she smacked it aside as he laughed, "Eh heh heh heh, very well, my darling, but as I recall you did give me your permission to place it on you."

His words puzzled her at first, but then she realized what he meant as she grabbed the chain from around her neck pulling it up so that the green heart dangled in the air above her chest as she remembered his words.

"I want you to wear this as a symbol of my love for you, promise me that you will keep it close to your skin and that you will never take it off."

"You bastard," she lamented, "You really think that counts? You told me nothing."

"Don't be naive, Natasha," he instructed softly," I'm immortal, a god to your kind, and I'm in love with you. Did you really think that I would just sit back and watch you grow old and die? Or even worse, stricken down in the prime of your life because of your pathetic attachment to these Midgardians?"

"I don't want it." Her voice trembling in anger as she let the emerald fall, reaching her hands around to the clasp at the back of her neck. Before she could begin to take it off, he had taken hold of her wrist, she could hardly believe his brazenness, that even now he thought he could control her. She brought up her knee and slammed it into his groin. He fell back, groaning in pain, as he released her, before looking up at her as he regained his breath, a look of amusement on his features. God, how he infuriated her.

"Was that really necessary, darling?" he asked sincerely, his green eyes dancing devilishly," I apologize for not telling you, if that will appease you. But I need for you to live, the way one needs air to breathe. And that I will not apologize for." He took another step toward her as he continued, "Is the prospect of spending an eternity with me, truly that horrific?"

"Shield is going to wonder where these powers came from? They could be here any minute," She knew not to mention Clint but she needed him to know of the possiblity that Shield was on its way. As angry as she was, she still felt the need to protect him, the same way that she supposed he wanted to protect her. "Is it permanent? If I take it off will I go back to normal?" she questioned him.

"IF? That's progress." a crooked smile playing across his lips as he answered her," the longer it touches you, the longer the power will last, even after it has lost contact with your skin. If you took it off now, it would take a few days to wear off. See, my little spider, all you need to do is ask and the answers are yours."

It was so hard for her to stay angry with him, when he smiled at her that way. As the thought came into her mind she wanted to smack herself, she could not let him off the hook that easily. She remembered Clint's last words to her, and she knew he was right, what else was Loki hiding from her? But she also knew in her heart that she wanted to forgive him, wanted to trust him to tell her the truth. He was implying that she need only ask the right question and he would give her the answer. She would test this supposed ask and you shall receive that he was trying to convince her of. He was a master manipulator yet could she trust him to give her a straight answer when she asked? She was a consummate liar herself, but since they had become lovers she had always told him the truth, could she trust him to do the same.

"What is it? What gives the stone its power?" she challenged him as she stared defiantly into his eyes.

She could see the wheels turning in his mind; she felt his hesitancy in responding, she suddenly became quite confident that she knew him well enough that she would know if he was lying.

"Very well," he whispered, as he sat down on the bed, leaning the walking stick against the corner of her mattress, "it is my birthright, though I have altered its design, shrunken it down, if you will."

"What do you mean your birthright?" she inquired sitting down next to him, watching him intently, searching for any signal in his features that he might be lying.

"It is called the Casket of Ancient Winters; it belonged to the frost giants before it was taken by my father. Since I am heir to the Jotunheim throne, it is my birthright. I told you, I am a man of many talents, I augmented it, it is safely held within that emerald gem," reaching out as he finished speaking he placed his fingers against the heart, gazing down at her. She watched as the color of his features began to change to blue, the ridges appearing on his face as he held it, "You see all you need to do is ask." He let go of the heart and his face returned to his Asgardian form.

"How did you take it from the Vault? Why hasn't anyone come here in search of it?" she asked, wondering when his flow of answers would stop.

"I placed an illusion in its place; no one knows it is not safely in Asgard," taking a curl of her hair between his fingers, he twirled it gently, his voice becoming more seductive as he leaned in closer, "may I ask a question now?"

"I suppose that is only fair," she felt her body tremble at his closeness, she should stand up, she thought to herself, put some distance between them, yet she made no move to do so.

"Do you forgive me?" his eyes searching hers as he continued to play with her hair.

"That's the last thing that I should do," she felt the tremor in her voice as she spoke, she should break their gaze, and move toward the desk away from him, yes that was definitely what she should do, she needed to tell him to leave, yet somehow she stayed still. His green eyes gazing so intently into her own, so hypnotizing, so beautiful.

"Well, yes, you're probably right," he smiled wickedly as he chuckled timidly, "Eh heh heh heh, but am I forgiven?"

She opened her mouth to tell him that he most certainly was not, that she wanted him to leave and take his necklace with him but as her lips parted she could hear her voice softly responding, "Yes."

He placed his hands on either side of her face as he leaned in, closing the gap between them, his lips delicately touching her own, the devastatingly gentle way he claimed her mouth made her entire body weak, such slow drawn out movements, his tongue slipping between her lips, darting repeatedly inside her mouth, dancing with hers, the whole world seemed to move in slow motion. She tugged at his jacket and he removed his hands from her face, allowing her to push the leather garment off his shoulders, but he never broke their kiss. She brought her hands up under his green t-shirt, placing her hands against his taut, flat abdomen before running her fingers up along his chest, feeling the hair soft beneath her finger tips, feathering across his nipples as he moaned against her mouth. He removed his shirt, bringing it up over his head before tossing it aside. His long, slender fingers pulled at the zipper of her jumpsuit as he grinned down at her, his tongue peeking through his teeth in delight, his voice low and enticing, "you are so beautiful," he told her as he began gliding the leather down her body stopping at her waist. She fell back against the bed, arching her body as he continued peeling the outfit down her legs, painstakingly slow as his eyes roamed her bare flesh. He began inflicting her mercilessly with a trail of suckling kisses down the length of her leg, up the inside of her thigh before pressing his lips against the black lace of her panties. Her body trembling with desire and anticipation as he gently pulled them down her legs, dropping them to the floor. His mouth touched her intimately, licking and stroking her most tender flesh. She was so swollen she felt like she was going to burst. She could barely breathe, her hands fisted the sheets, she gasped his name, tangling her fingers in his long black hair and arching her hips as the tremors of ecstasy shook through her body.

She sat up lazily, her breath in little gasps, her body still tingling with pleasure as she gazed at him hungrily while he sat at the foot of the bed. She reached behind her back, undoing the clasp of her bra as she let the lace fall from her shoulders, the feral look in his eyes at the sight of her bared breasts thrilled her to the bone, he slithered over her like a lithe panther as she reached for the buckle of his pants, the evidence of his arousal straining against the confines of his jeans, she quickly undid the zipper, admiring his form as she slid the bothersome clothing down his narrow waist, lean hips and long, muscular thighs. "Finally," she sighed as he kicked the last remnants off his body and she pulled him down to her in a passionate kiss. Even in the midst of his great need, she felt the tenderness in his restraint and it brought tears to her eyes. She could not contain her emotions, she had never felt so loved in all of her life as she did in the arms of this man who was suppose to be her enemy. He sank himself into her until she enveloped him completely. She raised herself against him, pulling him in deeper, writhing in burning caresses, sucking in long, harsh breaths as her body contracted around him, she heard his harsh groan against her neck as his magnificent body shuddered and that lovely sensation began to overtake her again, she whimpered, relishing every second as she clung to him, tears flooding from her involuntarily.

He looked down at her, his face filled with concern, "Did I hurt you?" he asked as he wiped away the tears from her cheek with his fingers, "Are you alright?"

"I'm wonderful," she panted still trying to catch her breath as she pulled him down for another kiss.

Time was running short she realized as she stood up from the bed, stepping into her underwear as she reached for her jumpsuit, when suddenly her bra disappeared from her body, she turned toward him. A devilish grin adorned his face as he laid there on the bed, twirling her lace bra in his fingers.

"Must you really get dressed so soon? Perhaps I could convince you otherwise?" his voice was mesmerizing and she longed to say yes but she knew that it couldn't be much longer before Shield arrived.

"Behave," she chided half-heartedly, she found it impossible to erase the smile from her lips.

"Very well," he sulked; waving a hand toward her as she suddenly appeared fully dressed. She looked down, noticing that the tare in her outfit was gone. As she gazed back up at him she was surprised to see him standing, fully dressed in his Asgardian attire, his old clothes still thrown about the room.

"Where did you come from that you were wearing these?" She asked as she bent down and began picking up his shirt and pants, it wouldn't do for Fury to walk in and find them lying about her room.

"I only wore them for you," he admitted sheepishly, "I enjoy the feel of you undressing me, but you have such trouble with these," he gestured to his current garments as a sly grin spread across his face, "and you get so impatient when you can't find the clasps."

"You better go," she told him, her face becoming solemn as she placed his clothes in her dresser drawer.

"If you believe they are aware of your connection to me, then why would you stay? "He asked her sincerely, "Come with me. They are all beneath you. What have they done, but use your talents for their own ends, they don't deserve your loyalty. You owe them nothing."

"I want to help people, not rule over them," she stated simply, "I don't know what you're planning and I won't ask you to tell me, but I won't be a part of it. I can't be."

A knock came at the door, and her heart sank, "Please go," she whispered. He nodded as he kissed her forehead warmly before disappearing into thin air. She turned toward the door, perhaps too quickly, as she felt a slight dizziness; she stopped and took a deep breath before continuing her walk, placing her hand on the doorknob and opening it slowly.

Clint was standing there alone in the doorway. She moved aside, motioning him to enter. "Did they ask you to bring me into headquarters?" she inquired. She could tell that he was still angry with her, she was sure that the others must be equally upset and they had the right to be.

"I haven't told them," he disclosed, walking further into the room.

"Why not?" she puzzled as she watched him. His eyes were taking in the room, probably looking for signs of Loki, was he just fishing for more proof before going to their superiors.

"Tell me what he has done to you, that you no longer trust me?" he asked as he stepped closer, "Did he use something on you?"

"No, Clint," she tried to reassure him, "he didn't do anything to me, and I haven't done anything to betray Shield or the Avengers, I swear it."

"Do you know where he is? Right now?" his eyes boring into her own, his voice still dripping with disgust.

"I'm sorry, but I just... I can't," she tried to answer him but she got a sudden queasiness that began to fill her stomach, as it rushed up to her throat like a bolt of lightning. She fled into her bathroom as she flung herself against the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Until the feeling finally dissipated, her head ached as she wiped her mouth and tried to rise. She stepped out of the bathroom cautiously, while Hawkeye stared at her, for the first time since he saw her heal in front of him, a look of concern reappeared on his face. She glanced at her desk, her calendar sitting on top, seeming to pop out at her as the realization came faintly into her mind. She could set a clock by her menstrual cycle; she was never late, not once, not ever. She stared at the calendar, recounting the days. It was true, she gasped as she sunk down onto the chair. For the first time in her life, she was late.