X. After the Love Has Gone

After the love has gone
Only fools carry on
We've been hurting for so long
And we both know that it's wrong
Then we just don't belong
After the love has gone
-Steps

The next day at school, Rowan had to go to Reid's dorm, again, to wake him up for class. Sometimes she thought Reid purposely ignored Tyler's summons just so she would go wake him up instead. Not that she minded, she liked rousing him from sleep with soft kisses and seeing his hazy pleasure when he opened his eyes. Hell, not everyone would be glad to see the person who was shaking them out of their slumber.

So, this morning, when she kissed him, turned out his was playing possum.

"Come here," he said, his voice gruff from sleep.

Reid pulled her in his arms, making her settle down next to him in spoon fashion. He nuzzled the back of her neck, brushing his lips across her skin. She felt the bristles of his unshaved chin.

"Hey, hey, no hanky panky," she teased.

"Hanky panky?" he laughed. "I kind of like that."

She snorted.

"Seriously, no one's ever said that to me before."

"That's because you're used to girls just all over you before anyone gets a word in edgewise."

"Well…you're the only girl I've been with in a long time. I like your way much better." Truth.

Rowan turned her head to look at him. "How long?" she asked with one brow arched.

Reid grinned. "I'll have you know that I was celibate for damned near a year before we got together."

"Really?"

"Hell, yeah. But, ya know, I could barely think of anyone but you…"

"Oh, you're such a charmer in the morning," she exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"You're the only one I have energy for in the morning."

She giggled. They were quiet for a while, she was pretty sure Reid was lulling back into sleep. Honestly, Rowan didn't feel much like getting up either. The events of the past few days had taken a toll on her although she was hiding it nicely. She'd get her second wind back. It was just that stress and fear triggered nightmares and subsequent anxiety that filtered into her conscious moments. Rowan was thinking about going to a few group counseling sessions. They always helped center her. It was nice to know that she wasn't alone in lingering PTSD; panic and depression that sometimes just couldn't be shaken. There were some people in the group who were still affected by things that had occurred several years ago. A burglary, a mugging, seeing someone die. Things that just remained burrowed deep inside your core.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm," she answered. Rowan got up. "How are you feeling?"

After the Blood Bonding they were both sort of wrung out. She had had to invoke her own Power to rise against his, and using her own always left her sapped. They still wore bandages over their palms while their cuts healed.

"Pretty good," he said.

"I'm glad." She ran her fingers through his hair.

"Oooh," he groaned, a lopsided grin on his lips. "Keep doing that."

Rowan laughed. "No, you have to get up. Come on." When he protested again, she said, "More kisses if you get up."

His eyes popped open. "Are you bribing me?" He smirked. "You know I'll hold you to that."

"I'm sure you will. Ten minutes."

Reid got out of bed, but not without a disgruntled moue. "You drive a hard bargain. I blame you for this."

Rowan looked at the bulge in his boxers, blushed. "Yeah, yeah. Just get your sweet ass ready."

"Oh, I love when you talk dirty!"

----

"What's your problem, Baby Boy?" Reid hissed. His friend was bouncing his knee up and down, biting his thumbnail. Usually Tyler paid attention during class but it was obvious his mind was anywhere but on Ms. March's lecture on U.S. Government and the project she was assigning.

Tyler winced, his teeth meeting the skin under his nail. His eyes were locked on the back of his girlfriend's head two rows to the left. She had been acting strange since this morning. Was she having second thoughts? Not as sure as she'd been last night?

"She's avoiding me," he whispered back.

Reid followed Tyler's gaze. "I thought she was cool with it."

"Me, too. But now she's…"

Then, Millicent Cromwell, Miss Tight-Ass as Reid called her since freshman year, whipped around in her seat, glaring daggers at the two of them.

"Will you cease shaking the floor?" she demanded.

Tyler stopped bouncing his leg. "Sorry."

Reid snorted, then pasted a smirk on his face. "You should ask nicely, Millicent."

Her already thin lips became thinner as she pursed them in obvious disdain and her cheeks turned red. Just as she opened her mouth to retort, the teacher interrupted.

"Ms. Cromwell, and Mr. Garwin," Ms. March declared.

Millicent snapped back around. "Pardon?"

Judy leaned into her best friend. "You just got paired with Reid."

By the look on her face one would think she'd gotten set up with the devil. "Ms. March, can I-"

"Ah, come on, seriously?" Reid exclaimed.

The teacher sighed in exasperation. "No complaining as to whom I've paired you with, people." She went on. "Miss Danvers and Mr. Abbot."

Oh, that was even more distasteful to Reid than being paired with Millicent.

"Mr. Danvers and Miss Miller…"

The bell rang, most students complacent with their lot, quite a few openly discontented. Dizzy made a beeline for the door, Tyler barely catching up with her.

"Maria," he said, catching her by the elbow.

She wouldn't meet his eye. "Oh, I have to go Ty, I'm…not feeling well."

Tyler watched her go, bewildered; apprehension curdling in his stomach. Not feeling well?

"Listen, Garwin," Millicent was saying in the background, "we'll work out a schedule when we can meet. I expect you to-"

Reid rolled his eyes. "That's nice. You can make out your little schedule, I'm going to go eat lunch." He turned away from her to look for Rowan. She was just parting from Aaron.

Aaron grinned at Reid before walking away.

"Don't," Rowan said to Reid knowing he was going to shout something to Aaron. She took his hand, headed towards the cafeteria.

"Do you know what's up with Dizzy?" Tyler asked her. "She said she wasn't feeling well."

"Maybe it's that time of the month," Reid spoke. "You know how chicks are about that."

Rowan glared at him. "Do you?" she asked dryly.

He grinned sheepishly. "Well…"

"She didn't say anything to me, Ty," Rowan said, growing wary herself.

Tyler wasn't going to be able to concentrate on anything for the rest of the day if he didn't get to the bottom of this. He told them he was going to find her. When he got to her dorm he heard crying behind the door.

"Maria?"

"One minute!"

There was some shuffling before the door opened. Her eyes were red-rimmed and splotchy.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said with a too bright smile.

Tyler looked at her, concerned. He edged passed her and shut the door. She stood in the middle of the room like a marooned soul. Her bottom lip quivered and silent tears spilled over her face. In a quiet, shivery voice, she said, "I lied."

His body went rigid, the knot in his stomach was becoming tighter. He licked his dry lips, shut his eyes tight before opening them again. "Then why did you-"

"I'm sorry! I just didn't want you to think…" She sobbed, shoulders shaking.

He hated seeing her cry like this. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not what I said I was!" Maria turned away.

Confusion was settling in now. "Then…what did you lie about?"

Her big brown eyes widened. She sniffled. "You're going to hate me."

"No, I won't. It can't be that bad." Could it?

Dizzy plopped on her bed. "I thought I could…but then you told me about you…and I lied."

Tyler sat next to her. "You might want to start at the beginning."

It took a few shuddering breaths before she could compose herself. "Remember…it was, like, a long time ago. We were just talking…and…I knew you weren't a virgin because you'd slept with Tami Green freshman year, and fooled around with Nadine."

His face turned red. Nothing stayed a secret at Spensers. Love lives anyway. Tyler cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"And then you asked me if I was a…virgin…" She started to cry again. "And…and…"

"You told me you were."

She put her head in her hands, shook her head. "I lied."

He was quiet for a minute. "Oh…" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Who?"

Pause. "David."

David. Her ex-boyfriend David who had cheated on her, and her friend from Napa had sent her the image on her cell phone. They had been together for almost three years, complete with a promise ring as a gift from David.

"When?" he finally asked.

"Not when we were together!" On her feet now, she began pacing. "It was only one time, it didn't last that long, it hurt, and he went to sleep right after!"

Tyler smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" she raved. "Are you mad? Say something!"

Because I'd never leave you unsatisfied, were the first words that popped in his head, but he didn't say that.

"I'm not mad at you, Maria," he said. "Why did you tell me you were a virgin though?"

She hung her head. "I…didn't want you to think that I, like, was casual about that sort of thing. And that…I wanted you to think that I was…"

Tyler kissed her, tasting the salt of her tears on her lips. With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped her tears away. "I love you."

Surprise shuttered on her face. "But…I lied. You're supposed to be mad! Aren't you mad?"

He shook his head. "I wish you had trusted me not to think less of you because you aren't a virgin though."

She sniffed. He handed her a tissue and she daintily blew her nose. She was one of those graceful criers. "So… I can still call you Tyler Bear?"

Tyler laughed, hugged her. In his arms, she asked, "What did you think I was talking about?"

"I thought you changed your mind about my secret."

She gasped. "No! I think it's great. In fact, I have, like, so many questions…"

"Like what?"

"Like…do you use a wand?"

----

"So, tomorrow," Caleb was saying to Judy in the library. Halfway through lunch they had decided to discuss their project in a more quiet setting. He was happy that he'd gotten paired with her. "We're having a casual get-together at my place. Just movies and food. Do you want to come?"

Judy sat across from him. The sun was beating on her hair, making it look like a sunrise. "Who's 'we'?" she asked.

"Oh, just Pogue, Tyler, Reid, my sister, Hunter, his boyfriend… Do you want to invite Millicent?"

She laughed lightly. "I don't know if she'd take to that."

Caleb smiled. "What about you?"

Judy waffled in making a decision. Going over to his house? Was there really a get-together, or would all the people he mentioned magically disappear, oh so conveniently? The whisperings around school were already starting, and they'd only been hanging out together since last Saturday. They hadn't even had a date.

Damn it, say something, Judy! "Okay. That sounds like fun." And a tingle went down her spine, seeing him grin, at her.

"Great. You'll get to try some of my sister's cooking then."

Judy liked hearing him talk about his sister the way he did. Most brothers would complain or something, but it was obvious that Caleb loved his little sister without reserve and had no qualms about admitting it.

She grinned at him, couldn't help it; Caleb just made her feel things she'd never felt before. And despite Millie's constant admonishments and warnings, Judy didn't stay away. She couldn't.

----

"Um…me and Sarah are kind of having a girl's night out, so I won't be able to make it," Kate told Pogue later that evening.

He nodded. It was their date night, she knew that, and she was bailing. "It's date night."

Her face was pained. "I know, I'm sorry. But she's been feeling sort of left out, you know?"

"Left out."

"Well, yeah, after being put in virtual exile." She was in front of her full-length mirror, holding up clothes in front of her, picking out an outfit for tomorrow.

"Isn't that kind of an exaggeration?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Call it what you want. Even Blair Rush stopped seeing her after a couple of dates."

"That was because he didn't want to create any tension on the team."

"Someone could have told him that it wasn't a big deal. Then there wouldn't be any tension," she retorted.

"Caleb did tell him that."

"Then he wasn't very convincing."

Pogue sighed. He didn't see what it mattered anyway. Sarah wasn't short of any male company. Although she wasn't seeing one guy exclusively, she did go on plenty of dates; which was where she was right now. "Can we drop it? I don't want to fight."

"We're not fighting."

They lapsed into silence. Normally when they were alone they'd be making out or fooling around, but he couldn't remember the last time they'd kissed until they were breathless.

"Pogue?"

He came back from wherever it was he'd been. "Yeah?"

"You were looking at me funny." She was facing him now with a sly smile playing on her lips.

"I was?"

"Mmm-hmm." Kate didn't want to fight either. She coaxed him back on the bed and straddled him. "Want to help me change outfits?"

----

"I can't believe you're going," Millicent crowed for the thousandth time that day.

Judy was trying to choose a decent outfit. It was Friday after school, and she'd be leaving with Maria, Reid, and Tyler pretty soon. She wasn't usually concerned about what she wore; she was very much a jeans, comfortable footwear, t-shirt/blouse kind of individual.

"Don't make me more nervous," Judy replied.

They had been friends for years. Comrades in their outcast, unpopular grouping.

Millicent shook her head in distaste. "Since when do you care what you wear, Judy? It's like he's changing you."

"He's not," the redhead insisted. "I haven't changed."

She snorted. Millicent was tall and thin with chin-length brown hair and bangs, thin lips; most people said her best feature was her eyes, doe-eyed hazel rimmed with thick lashes. Not that she cared.

"Are you going to at least work on your project?"

Judy shrugged; finally decided on jeans, green cardigan sweater with a white shirt underneath. She let her hair down and brushed it to a sheen. She had had to get a new wardrobe after the thirteen pounds she'd lost over the summer while in Colorado, her home state. Her aunt was an athletic freak and had made her do yoga, rock climbing, roller-blading, tennis, and whatever other sport she did. By the end of the summer Judy had the figure of an athlete.

"I can't believe I got paired with Reid Garwin," Millicent complained.

Judy smiled. "Millie, you better just accept it."

"Easy for you to say. At least Caleb is studious about his schoolwork. Reid is a consummate slacker."

"How do you know?"

"Oh, come on! He is always falling asleep in class, never pays attention. If I fail this project…" Her face was already turning red at the very idea of something less than an A. "Conceited jerk," Millie uttered.

"He can't be that bad if Rowan's with him." Judy sat down on her bed, put her shoes on. "You should see them together. They're so cute."

Millie rolled her eyes. "Sure. He's probably cheating on her. He still flirts with anything in a skirt."

Judy saw that her friend was marking a paper with red ink. Millicent took her place as editor of the school newspaper very seriously. After Missy Ivers graduated last year, Millie had vied for the position and now ran Spensers' school paper with strict protocols and deadlines.

"Do you have your rough draft?" Millie asked.

Judy got it out of her binder and handed it to her.

A knock sounded at the door and Judy's heart thumped like a drum in her chest. Maria was standing on the other side with a smile on her face.

"You ready?" Dizzy asked cheerfully. "Hi, Millicent!"

"Hello, Maria," Millicent replied.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Dizzy asked. "It's going to be really fun."

"No, I'm quite fine. But thank you."

"Okay…"

Judy shrugged apologetically. "I'll see you later, Millie."

"Bye."

Maria wound her arm through Judy's as they walked down the halls. "I'm really glad you're coming. Caleb was, like, so totally happy."

"Really?"

"Duh, silly! He likes you."

Judy's face turned red, but luckily her chipper companion said nothing more as they approached Tyler's black Hummer. Reid was swiping the keys from his friend with a big grin.

"Hey, Red!" Reid called.

She almost had to look behind her to see who he was talking to.

"Don't mind him," Tyler said, waving his hand at his friend dismissively.

Judy smiled nervously. Maria chattered with her the entire way, filling the silence for which Judy was grateful; she hadn't a clue what to say to them.

"Where did Pinkie say he was going?" Reid asked.

"A date with James," Maria replied.

"Who is this guy?" Reid questioned. "I'm beginning to think he's some imaginary friend."

"Don't say that!" she exclaimed. "I'm sure Pinkie just wants to make sure they're committed before he introduces us, that's all."

"Committed? What's the big deal?"

"Pinkie is Philip?" Judy interjected.

"Yeah," Tyler said. "He hates being called that though."

"Whatever, I'm going to jack his phone and see what's up," Reid said slyly.

They got to the Danvers' estate not long after. Already the sun was going down and it was significantly chillier. Judy had never been here before and she couldn't help but marvel over the structure. The grounds were beautiful, with a wading pool in front of the mansion.

The double doors opened before they got up the stairs. Judy heard a scuffle and a bark, she instantly went on alert.

"Ernie!" Caleb called. "Hold on." He knew Judy was afraid of dogs, even though she'd gotten to meet Ernie a few times last year. He had the big German shepherd by his collar. He smiled at Judy. "He remembers you."

Ernie was sitting dutifully, tongue lolling out of his mouth. His forelimb rose as if waving to Judy.

"See?"

Judy laughed.

"Where's Rowan?" Reid asked.

"Kitchen," Caleb told him. "Do you want me to take him away?" he asked Judy, and Ernie whined.

"No, it's okay." She approached cautiously with her hand out low. Ernie sniffed and licked, held out his paw for her, which she shook.

"You sure?" he asked.

Judy nodded, and he took her by the hand, led her to the kitchen with Ernie trailing alongside Judy. The kitchen was filled with chatter and the smells of delicious cooking.

"Hey, guys," Caleb got their attention. "Judy, this is Gabriel and Michael."

"Oui, bonjour," Gabriel said, smiling, offering his hand.

Michael, the more roguish of the twins, half-grinned, approaching the redhead languorously. "Enchanté, mademoiselle." He kissed her hand, dark smoldering eyes locked on hers.

Caleb's jaw tightened.

"You're not a Yankee," Michael said. "Tres bien, Caleb." He winked. "Just like Tyler."

"Mikey has a thing against Yankees," Reid informed Judy.

Just then, a yapping ankle-biter fled into the room with a ferret at its heels. It was a Yorkie that had two blue bows on her head. Michael grabbed up the dog before things got out of hand.

He said something in rapid-fire Cajun slang. "Merde."

"Still not too popular with your girlfriend's dog, huh?" Reid goaded. He had Bubbe in his arms, obviously in good accord with his girlfriend's animals.

Michael shot daggers at Reid.

Judy glared at Caleb, slightly overwhelmed at the large cast of diverse characters.

"Judy," Rowan said. "You chop tomatoes?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, glad to be given something, anything, to do. She joined Rowan at the counter, washed her hands, and began slicing. Her eyes flicked to the scars that wound around each of Rowan's wrists.

Caleb said a silent thank you to his sister. "Where'd he go?" He was looking at the ground for the ferret.

"Right here." Hunter pulled Bruce Lee away from one of the cupboards. "Let's give 'em dinner, then put them in their play room."

Caleb agreed and they did that. Within twenty minutes the animals were sedated.

"Damned ankle biter," Michael complained at the table.

"Your girl is going to dump you if you don't start getting along with the dog," Reid said.

The Cajun sorcerer leered at the blond. Michael knew that. He'd been asking Rowan for all kinds of advice about winning over Princess Agrippina Buttercup, his girlfriend Sasha's three year old Yorkshire terrier. Princess Buttercup was very possessive of Sasha's time and space, and it was difficult for Michael to squeeze his way in. Slowly, he thought he was charming the small dog. Hopefully, because the dog was Sasha's pride and joy. Never had he gone to such lengths to please a woman.

"Would she really?" Dizzy asked.

"Love me. Love my dog," Reid quoted.

"Would you dump Reid if your animals didn't like him, Rowan?" she asked.

Rowan vacillated between that. "Well…they're my babies and if they didn't get along…that would be a problem."

"Shit, they love me," Reid said, dismissing the hypothetical question. "Irrelevant."

They were all at the table, eating the vast array of foods set out. Rowan was sitting between Hunter and Reid, across from Pogue, Tyler and Maria. Gabriel was to the left of Hunter; Michael at the other side of the table; Caleb and Judy sitting next to one another at the other end.

Judy decided to try to be more social. "So, did you guys fly up here from New Orleans?"

Gabriel nodded. "Oui." Then looked at Hunter tenderly.

Michael smirked. "My brother and I have accrued many frequent flyer miles." He winked at Judy, she blushed. Michael was enjoying Caleb's perturbed countenance.

----

When dinner was finished snack foods were set out in the den which acted as the theater/game room. There was a large entertainment center with hundreds of DVDs and video games and their respective game consuls. The flat screen TV dominated the center.

"All right, what are we watching?" Michael inquired. Princess Agrippina Buttercup twittered into the room, making a beeline for Michael. She jumped high into the air and he caught her.

"See? She's falling in love with you already," Rowan said.

Michael wouldn't let himself appear pleased, though he was. Wait until Sasha saw the difference when he got back to New Orleans.

"Be right back," Reid said, needing the bathroom.

He passed Rowan's apothecary on the way; heard the message come on. Like the nosy person he was he went into the unlit room, flipped open her phone. Hmm, a picture message from Pinkie. He loaded it up and his hand nearly broke the phone he was clutching it so hard.

"What the fuck?" he muttered angrily.

Not caring that Pinkie was probably still on his date, he called him and Pinkie answered immediately.

"Oh my God, Row, did you get my message?" Pinkie exclaimed.

"It's Reid," he said. "Where are you?"

Pinkie, for once, didn't question why Reid had Rowan's phone. Pinkie said he was in the city at some fancy restaurant, saw Kate sucking face with some guy, and snapped a picture of it for evidence.

"Bitch," Reid hissed.

"My sentiments exactly."

"Did she see you?"

"God, no!"

"Good, make sure she doesn't."

"Well, duh," Pinkie retorted.

"And don't tell Rowan," Reid added.

They hung up, Reid was still stewing over what he'd seen. He briefly contemplated leaving the pictures on Rowan's phone, then decided against it. She might get angry at him later, but for this, she'd forgive him; pretty sure anyway. He sent the pictures to his own phone, deleted them from Rowan's along with the outgoing call to Pinkie. Reid had to compose himself in the bathroom so no one would think anything was up. Especially Rowan; he hoped her psychometry didn't pick anything up. He had to try to put it in the back of his mind; not think about it too clearly.

Reid washed his hands, went back to the den.

"What'd you do?" Tyler asked. "Fall in the toilet?"

Reid replied with some snarky rejoinder and took his place with Rowan on a big cushy chair. When everyone was settled, they dimmed the lights, watched a few movies. A normal, fun night.

---

Caleb drove Judy back to the dorms. It was a little past midnight and he was sorry their time was coming to an end.

"Thanks for inviting me," Judy was saying. "I had a great time."

He smiled. "I did, too."

She blushed in the dark interior of the car. "Your friends are really nice, too. I'm…sorry I didn't give it much of a chance last year to see that."

He nodded a little. "I understand. People at school can make some things more difficult than they should be."

She made a sound that indicated that that was an understatement.

"What changed your mind?" he asked hesitantly.

Judy didn't answer for a minute. "It's kind of a long story."

"I have time."

Judy wasn't one to tell this part of her life to a lot of people. But she felt she could trust Caleb with it; that he would understand because he'd gone through family trials as well; not to mention his own sister being kidnapped this past summer.

"When I was six years old, my brother was abducted. There was a long search, but we never found him. It wasn't until two years later that this guy Roman Guest was reported to be seen around an elementary school, taking pictures. One of the kids, his dad was a cop, and he put Guest's name in the computer and found a string of past accusations, but nothing he was convicted of. It was completely by accident that he was caught. His neighbor's dog got into his yard, and dug something up."

"Jesus," Caleb said under his breath.

"Well, the cops got a warrant, and they found Guest's little trophy room of stuff he'd taken from the kids he'd murdered. One of them was a bracelet my brother had made at camp with his name in beads." She took a breath. "Anyway, he was arrested, convicted, sentenced to life in prison without parole."

Caleb was stunned at her revelation. God, imagine going through so much pain. Losing a brother, her parents losing their kid. He didn't know what he would do if he lost Rowan.

"When I was nine we moved here, you know, for a change," she went on. "But this past summer, Guest decided to tell the police where he'd buried the bodies of the kids he'd taken."

"Wait, so you never got to bury your brother?"

She shook her head. "Well…this summer we did. It took a while to identify the ones in the location Guest had given. But one turned out to be my brother. Wesley Dean Miller." Judy exhaled. "And just having it all brought up again…it reminded me that my brother was robbed of the opportunity to grow up, make friends, have a girlfriend…have a life." She looked at him. "And I figure, no matter what anyone says now…I think I should take the good opportunities I'm given… Like you."

Caleb smiled. Reached over and took her hand. "Thanks for telling me." It couldn't have been easy for her. She was a brave, strong person to have withstood all that; especially at such a young age. He fell a little more for her; for the first time seeing someone he could lose his heart to.

----

Pogue decided to crash at Caleb's place so Hunter and Gabriel could have time alone. He checked his phone for any messages from Kate, but there were none. Oddly, he wasn't disappointed. He realized that he'd felt just fine without her here. He didn't have to worry about whether or not she was having a good time, or if he would get those looks she sometimes gave him, wary, unsure.

In the beginning she had always gazed at him adoringly, like he was the only man for her. Now it was more if he was the man for her. Maybe there was, he conceded. Maybe there was no salvaging what was disintegrating between him and Kate.

He wasn't sure he wanted to.

Okay, I hope this chapter wasn't too disjointed. I was trying to show a disparity between Pogue and Kate's impending ending, and yet the beginning and continuation of new relationships, too. *scratches head* I might have lost my way a bit. Not sure. LOL.

Thanks for reading.

Feedback, much welcomed. :D