Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :(
-Kitty's POV-
Sweet Jesus I have never been this happy before in my life! I honestly feel like I could do anything right now.
Anything?
Yes, anything
Could you jump off that building over there?
I could but I'm not going to
Why not?
Because I don't feel like dying today!
Once again I ignore my thoughts and carry on walking down the street as the sun starts to set. I just dropped Marley off at her house, Mrs Rose invited me in to stay for dinner, but I politely declined because I didn't want my mom to wonder where I was. Not that she would but she looked pretty angry this morning so I didn't want to keep her waiting.
Not even she could ruin my good mood though, because I was in love with Marley Rose, and she loved me back. Oh my god, she loves me. She loves me! I'm in love!
"I'M IN LOVE!" I yell out into the empty street, laughing happily.
"Hey, buddy keep It down!" an obnoxious voice calls out to me from a house opposite me, I blush a little but the big smile doesn't fall from my face.
"Sorry!" I apologize to the stranger sheepishly; I carry on walking down the street, thinking about my perfect girlfriend.
Girlfriend. I have a freaking girlfriend! I didn't think this kind of happiness was possible. I mean it's like the world's a little brighter. I didn't think this kind of love was possible, I mean I could never have imagined this kind of love.
Before I know it, I'm standing in front of my house. Wow, that was quick. I open the door and close it behind me before starting to rush up the stairs, trying to avoid another interrogation with my mom. I guess luck was not on my side when I set foot inside this damn house, because as soon as I get to the top of the stairs, I hear I cold, hard voice stop me from getting to my room.
"Hold it right there" my mother orders me and I sigh heavily before turning around to look at where she stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"Where have you been?" she gets straight to the point, oh so now she cares where I am? Once I was gone for a whole 3 days, she didn't even notice.
"Well, hello to you too mother" I say to sarcastically, that seems to irritate her though as she goes red in the face and I can see her clenching her teeth together tightly.
"Don't you 'hi' me, I want to know where you were last night and just now" she tells me, more like demands me actually and I know that if I tell her that I was with Marley then she would go mad.
"Why?" I ask her, because I really have no idea why she is suddenly so interested in where I am all the time. She seems to falter for a second when I ask that.
"What?" she demands and I stare at her, not backing down when she glares at me.
"Why are you so interested in my life all of a sudden?" I ask her and she recovers from her surprise and scoffs.
"I'm not interested in your life, I just want to know where you're always sneaking off to?" she orders again and I shift a little in my place, not being able to come up with a good lie to tell her, so again I settle for answering a question with a question.
"Why?" I ask her again and she just seems to loom plain annoyed at me now.
"Because I am your mother and I have a right to know these things" she tells me sternly and it's my turn to scoff.
"Really?" I ask, looking at her disbelievingly and before any one of us can get another word in, I've turned around and walked into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
Surprisingly my mom didn't try to barge in my room; I only heard a strange groan of irritation from her before she had stomped off to a different part of the house.
Well that went better than I expected.
…
-Marley's POV-
"Oh, Marley…That is just the sweetest thing" my mom says to me with her hand over her heart, after she had just finished reading Kitty's love letter to me. I nod my head happily.
"Isn't it?" I smile dreamily and my mom laughs softly, reading the last part of the letter all over again.
"This Kitty is full of surprises" my mom says and I laugh softly with her, resting my cheek on the palm of my hand.
"Yeah, she is" I say, thinking about my blonde girlfriend. Girlfriend. I can't believe that Kitty Wilde is actually my girlfriend! And she loves me! Oh my gosh, I'm in love with her and she loves me back!
My god you're happy
I know!
"Hey mom, I think I'm gonna go to bed now" I tell her and she smiles at me.
"Ok sweetheart, goodnight" she says while handing me my letter back, I smile at her in thanks.
"Night mom, love you" I tell her as I turn around, heading up to my room.
"Love you too Marley" she yells, as I'm already half way up the stairs. I run into my room and grab my cheap phone and dial Unique's number. After a couple rings she picks up.
"Waz up?" I hear Unique say and I laugh slightly, because that was such a 'Unique' way to answer the phone.
"Hey Unique, its Marley" I tell her smiling.
"Oh hey girl, I'm guessing there's a reason you're calling me? Could it have anything to do with the Kitty Wilde?" she guesses and I'm a little surprised that she knew that.
Really?
Yeah, I mean how could she know that?
Hm I don't know, because she's all you think about?
"Yeah it does, she asked me to be her girlfriend" I tell her happily, jumping a little on my bed and I hear that Unique almost squeals a little bit.
"Girl I knew she would ask you!" she tells me and I can hear in her voice that she's smiling.
"That's not all though; Unique she told me she loved me. She wrote me a letter and everything!" I tell not being able to contain my excitement and this time Unique does squeal and I laugh softly.
"Man, she wrote you a love letter? Well let's hear it" Unique tells me excitedly and I sigh happily before reading Kitty's letter out to Unique and once I'm finished I hear Unique let out a sigh.
"Oh my god, I think that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, and Kitty wrote that for you?" she asks me, still a little unbelieving and I nod before I realise that she can't see me, stupid Marley.
"Yes, every word. She's so romantic, I told her that I was sad no one wrote love letters anymore and now she writes this for me" I tell Unique happily and hold the letter over my heart, letting out a love sick sigh.
"Wow, Marley I think I'm starting to love that girl" Unique tells me jokingly and I chuckle a little.
"Hey, back off she's mine" I tell her and giggle at the thought of Kitty being mine.
Me and Unique talk for another few minutes before I yet out yawn and decide to go to sleep. Now I'm curled up under my soft, light pink covers and I send a quick text to Kitty before I go to sleep.
Goodnight, I love you – M
A few seconds later, my phone buzzes signalling I had a reply. I quickly flip it open eagerly and smile brightly at the simple but effective words Kitty had sent back.
I love you too, sweet dreams – K
I put my phone on my bedside table before closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep, my dreams filled with my blonde girlfriend.
…
Okay so, wow. So much has happened in the past few weeks; I've gone from happy, to extremely happy, to feeling on top of the world and then back to feeling absolutely horrible.
The day after Kitty had told me she loved me, we were paired together to perform a duet, dressed up as super heroes. I was really excited that I got to sing with Kitty and when we practiced it was fun, until it came to putting on the super hero costume, that's when things started to get bad again.
I hadn't made myself throw up in a few days, but after seeing myself in that costume, I couldn't help it and I did it again. I tried to stop it there, feeling extremely guilty for doing this again, knowing that Kitty cares about me and thinks that I've stopped. But I couldn't stop, when I did it once, I couldn't help but do it again the next day and the next day. Before I knew it, I was doing it every single day and I felt terrible, emotionally and physically.
I am so starving but I refuse to eat anything, because I still see a fat, ugly person looking back at me in the mirror and I hate it. I don't get much sleep either and now I'm sweating at nights when I'm not even hot and it's starting the scare me because I know that I'm doing this to myself and I want to stop but I just…can't.
I'm a lot more weak and tired than usual and I think that Kitty has noticed and she's asks me a few times if I was okay, only for me to lie to her face and say that I was. I can see that she doesn't believe me but I always beg her silently to let it go and don't talk about it, that it would only hurt me more, and being the kind person she is she does let it go.
But right now, I'm starting to get scared. Sectionals is tomorrow and I'm lying in bed, covered in sweat and sobbing wanting nothing more than for my Kitty to be here, holding me and telling me everything's going to be okay.
But she's not here and I can't text her because I don't want to wake her and it would be selfish of me to ask her to come over here, making her walk in the cold just to come and comfort me. But the thing is, I really need her right now. She's the only one that can make me feel better. Without her next to me, I feel horrible and I miss her like crazy.
I can't take it anymore, I have to do it again I think to myself as I struggle slightly to get up and walk to the bathroom, but when I do I kneel in front of the toilet and get ready to do what I've been doing every day. I'm sorry Kitty I think as I shove two fingers down my throat.
…
(Day of Sectionals)
-Kitty's POV-
I'm worried about Marley-
Again?
Yes, again!
Why?
I was getting to that!
Okay, well then carry on
Thank you, so anyway as I was saying, I'm worried about Marley. She's was doing okay a few days after I found her in the bathroom doing you know what, but the past week she's been kind of distant and she's starting to look pale and thin again.
When I ask her how she's doing, she tells me she's fine but I can see in her eyes that she's not. It all started when we did a duet together, everything was great until she tried on the costume, that's when she started getting self-conscious. I managed to get her to perform with me, but after the performance she wasn't the same.
We haven't been to the meadow since I gave her the letter and we only see each other in school and talk on the phone, it's not that we don't want to hang out, it's just we're both so busy practicing for sectionals and learning Korean (I mean really it's hard enough learning the dance moves, Finn needs to add learning a different language to that as well?!) that we hardly have enough time to hang out with each other.
But after sectionals we'll be able to spend more time together and I can find out what's troubling her, so I can help. I hate seeing her like this, and thinking that there's nothing I can do right now to help her makes me feel even worse. I mean she looks so alone and sometimes afraid, when I should be protecting her from everything, I promised her I would. And I never break my promises.
God, I can't wait till after the show. I'll talk to her before we go on stage, maybe that will also be a good thing because I know she can get real nervous and I can try and comfort her. Okay so we're on stage soon, just need to get this dress on and then I can go to the auditorium to watch the warblers. I'll talk to Marley when we're backstage.
(Around 10 minutes later)
Whoa, I hate to say it but the warblers are really good and energetic. But I don't have any doubt in the New Directions; we'll do great, especially as we've got Marley on our side. I've never heard a better singer than Marley and I'm sure that I never will, she has the voice of an angel, hell a thousand angels. She is the greatest singer I've ever heard and will ever hear.
I look over to where she sits next to Unique and I start to worry again when I see that she looks incredibly afraid and kind of woozy, since she's slightly swaying from side to side. Okay now I'm getting anxious, I can't wait till the warblers stop singing this stupid song so I can see what's wrong with my sweet little Marley.
She's taller than you dude
Whatever!
Marley sees me looking at her worriedly and tries to give me a reassuring smile, but it comes out more like a grimace. 'Are you okay?' I mouth to her and she nods her head and mouths back 'yes' but I don't believe her, and just keep staring at her concerned. She starts to look a little nervous and looks back towards the warblers performance while sucking in a deep breath. That was weird, why can't she look at me? Something's gotta be wrong and I don't like it.
I look back to the warblers; I mean seriously how long is this performance? I watch them as they start doing backflips and other gymnastic stuff, trying to get my mind off all the possibilities why Marley is like this.
Could she have done it again, even after I talked to her? But why would she? I can't believe someone as beautiful as her doesn't think she's pretty. In my eyes she's perfect and it's killing me that she can't see what I see. I love her so much and to see that she's in pain, it makes me feel pain and I have to- no, I need to find a way to make her feel better, I'll do anything. I'll do anything for her.
After what feels like forever, the warblers finish their performance and they get a standing ovation from the crowd, which makes me nervous wondering if we will get the same. All of New Directions (including Finn) stand up and we start to make our way back stage, while the audience still praise the warblers.
…
Okay so, I've been pacing back here for a few minutes, the nerves starting to come over me as we all wait for our turn to go on stage. I look around for Marley to see her sitting on a chair with her head down, I quickly walk over to her kneel down in front of her and take her hands in mine which makes her head snap up to look at me. I'm not worried of anyone seeing us and suspecting something because most of New Directions are all pacing like I was just a few seconds ago. And even if they do see us they'll probably just think I'm being friendly towards Marley, I mean friends comfort other friends all the time.
"Hey Marley, you feeling okay? What's wrong?" I ask her concerned; I see her eyes start to water as she starts shaking slightly and my worry grows.
"No, no Kitty I'm not feeling okay! In fact I feel horrible and scared and sick and I can't go out there Kitty I can't" she pleads to me and my heart breaks when I see her crying and almost hyperventilating, I take one of my hands from hers and use it to rub her back up and down.
"Hey, hey you're gonna be amazing out there okay-" I start but I get cut off by a frantic Marley.
"No you don't understand, I don't feel okay. I'm starving and I'm sweating when I'm not hot and I can't sleep and I just- I just-" she stops from breathing so hard and chokes on her words and I quickly lean forward and wrap my arms around her, cradling her head against my chest and shushing her softly, trying my best not to cry at how broken Marley sounds right now.
"Just don't make me go out there Kitty" she pleads with me once she's stopped crying and her breathing has calmed down to its normal speed rate. She pulls away from me and looks up at me with those big blue eyes and I can see that she really doesn't want to go out there right now, and I can also see that she's not fit enough to go on stage and perform this energetic song, she looks so weak and fragile right now.
"Okay, I'll go talk to Finn alright?" I tell her softly and she nods her head slowly and releases a breath I didn't even know she was holding, I quickly kiss her forehead and walk off the find Finn. It only takes a few seconds before I see him, he really wasn't that hard to find from how tall he is, he's like over 6 feet!
"Hey Finn! I need to talk to you!" I yell over to him and once I reach him he's looking at me kind of confused.
"Uh can't it wait Kitty? I'm kind of busy-" I cut him off before he can finish, whatever he's doing it can wait, because Marley looks desperate.
"Doesn't matter, listen Marley doesn't want to go on" I tell him, getting straight to the point because we don't have much time before we're supposed to be on stage.
"What? She has to go on" he says, almost yelling and I shake my head at him frantically.
"She doesn't want to and I don't think she's in a good state to go on stage right now" I tell him and he looks surprised for a second before he starts to panic again.
"Look Kitty, we can't go on with only 11 members! And we've rehearsed this over and over, we can't do it without her, I'm sure she'll be fine" he tells me and before I can get another word in, people are telling us we have to go on stage now and it's my turn to start panicking because Finn's started to walk away.
"No, wait! Finn!" I desperately call after him but he just keeps walking until he's out of sight, somewhere in the audience. I curse quietly before turning around and rushing back to where Marley is sitting breathing heavily. I grab hold of her hand and pull her up.
"Marley I'm sorry, I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen, you're gonna have to go on" I tell her apologetically and she starts to shake her head at me frantically as I pull her towards the stage.
"No, no Kitty I can't" she chokes out and it kills me to see her like this but I have no choice, she has to go on, so I decide to the best thing I can do right now, and try to comfort her and support her.
"Hey, hey you're gonna be fine alright? You're gonna be fine" I tell her, more trying to convince myself that than her. I feel someone grab my arm and pull my away from a scared Marley, I turn around to yell at the person, only to realise its Jake.
"Hey, what the hell are you doing? Get off me" I tell him, pulling my arm away from him, he sighs frustrated and I get the feeling he only pulled me away because I was close to Marley.
"Get in position" is all he says and I glare at him, only for him to glare back. I sigh and turn to look where Marley was standing, luckily she wasn't alone and Unique was standing with her and smiling encouragingly, I see Marley attempts to smile back but it looks fake and forced. Marley looks nervous and scared as she stands there waiting for the music to start. I take a deep breath as I hear the first few beats to Gangnam Style, hoping to god that this all goes well.
…
-Marley's POV-
Focus Marley, focus I repeat over and over in my head as the music starts. I take a shaky breath before I go in to the first dance moves and start singing along with the rest of New Directions. Man, I don't feel too good. No, no I can do this, just keep dancing and singing. Remember wide movements, keep good balance and don't screw up Marley. Just please don't screw up. Focus.
Okay, half way through I think as I jump on Ryder's back and start swinging my arm around in the air. Him spinning me around isn't helping my dizziness though. Oh my gosh, I never realized how much spinning there was in this song, I don't know if I can take this any longer, I need to lie down, I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
I look around for Kitty; maybe if I see her I'll feel a little better. I can't find her, where is she?! Me spinning my head around isn't helping, so I decide to stop doing that. Okay just a few more lines and we'll be done, am I sweating? Oh my gosh I am, all these stage lights are making my head feel weird and that confetti is making it worse.
My hearing starts to get weird, it's like I'm in a tank full of water and I can faintly hear everyone singing. I look to my side to see Kitty looking at me worriedly and I silently beg her to help me and get me out of here.
My sight starts to get blurry and my hearing more faint as we sing the last few lines of the song, I can faintly hear the crowd cheering and it's giving me a headache. My movements are no longer sharp and big, but floppy and lazy. I'm starting to sway and I look to Kitty, scared. What's happening to me? I think when I stop singing all together and my breathing picks up, which only makes me feel fainter. Ugh, Kitty please help me! I flop my arms up one last time before giving in and looking at Kitty one last time as they finish singing. I let go and start to fall to the ground, smacking my head on the hard floor. Kitty is the last thing that goes through my mind, as it all turns black.
…
A/N: Sup guys, wow that was intense to write! I hope I did an okay job in writing Marley in this chapter? Let me know if it was good or bad or somewhere in between or whatever.
Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter! It's the most reviews I've had for any chapter I've wrote, so that made me really happy, you guys are awesome!
So hopefully you all liked this chapter and please review! It really makes my day! Okay I'm gonna go play some Tomb Raider now and then I'll start on the next chapter for you. Love you guys, bye for now :)