Can't Do It, Not Now At Least

"Renesmee," I heard someone whisper in my ear "Nessie?" They kept on repeating my name over and over again. I opened my eyes slowly and cracked my eye at the person waking me up. I found my dad staring down at me.

I sucked in a breath of air and turned on my other side, trying to get away from the voice that belonged to my father. Another minute I muttered almost lowly as possible but I knew that he heard me so it didn't matter how soft I said.

I felt the covers swing back from my legs and body. I groaned at the cool atmosphere that was engulfing me. I contorted my body into a ball and tried to bring some kind of body warmth. This was the first time that I desperately needed my hot wolf next to me.

"Renesmee," I heard my dad say to me, almost sternly this time "you need to get up right now or you'll be late to school."

I rolled my eyes underneath my closed eyelids at his suggestion.

"I know you want to sleep," he said quietly "but you should have gone to bed earlier because you knew that you had to go to school."

I stuck my head underneath my pillow and held it over my head. I just wanted to sleep! Just a little bit more but no! I had to just stay up last night and think about Jake again for another sleepless night.

"You thought about Jake last night," I heard my dad ask "Do you want to talk about it?"

I stiffened at his kind gesture but I just couldn't take talking to my dad about Jake. Thanks but no thanks Dad.

I jumped out of my bed and went to the hall where I went to take a shower.

After the shower, I went into the kitchen to get a little bit of breakfast. I was sort of shocked at the sight of my mom making waffles for me for my morning meal. I mean, she has made me breakfast before but I don't know what was so different about this time. Some sort of strange tension filled the room.

"Good morning, Renesmee." I heard her say over her shoulder.

"Morning, Mom." I said quietly as I sat on a stool that was around the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Hope you want waffles for your first day," she said once again while staring at the waffle maker "It's good to have breakfast."

"That's fine, mom." I said under my breath.

Wow, we were having some kind of weird awkward conversation. Usually, we were with… my family that we left behind and we had something to talk about.

I thought about the scene that I woke up to everyday but never could encounter with once again. Uncle Emmett and Jasper were usually talking about the football that came on the TV the night before. Most of the time, Aunt Alice was sitting at the table, looking at a gossip magazine.

Mom and Dad were usually talking to each other and holding hands underneath the table. Grandma Esme was sprucing up the house even though it was basically germ free.

Grandpa Carlisle was, most of the time, looking in the newspaper. Every day, Aunt Rosalie sat in the chair around the table with a scowl on her face. I never knew why but now thinking about it, I realized why she looked that way every morning: Jake was always at breakfast with me.

I giggled inwardly and shook my head at the thought of me and Jake burying our heads in the breakfast plates, eating like maniacs. I also remembered how, before breakfast was served, Jacob and I played Rock Paper Scissors like immature children but we didn't care. Jake would always say scissors and I would say rock just so I could win.

If I told people that Jake and I played Rock Paper Scissors, they would think that I was talking about when we were kids or something. But no, actually this occurred only a month ago.

I laughed loudly again at our immaturity.

My mom looked at me funnily when I giggled and I pulled my face straight quickly.

"So, I heard that you were thinking about Jake last night," she said, trying to be casual "Do you want to talk to someone about it?"

Oh, no. I couldn't take this conversation today. It would only mess up my whole day. I scooted my chair back and took a step beside it. I put my stool back in its normal position and grabbed my book bag. I just couldn't take it.

"Wait Renesmee," she said quietly

I stopped at the front door.

"I'm sorry that I hit a nerve," she said "I should have made sure that Jake wasn't as in to me as he is."

"What do you mean is?" I said narrowing my vision toward her

"Oh did I say is?" she asked herself "I meant was. Anyway Jake has been talking about you nonstop."

"Wait, you've talked to Jacob? And he hasn't asked for me once?"

She looked down at the marble floor.

I dashed toward the door once again.

"Nessie," I heard her call after me but I was already out of the apartment before she could say anything else.

I sighed when I got outside in the warm air. I was determined that this was going to be one of the best first days ever. At least, I was going to try.