No Place for No Hero
Chapter Ten: Only After Rain
Summary: Six and Boone and all that still remains.
Notes: Beta'd by the wonderful VR Miller, who smoothed out my clunky writing spectacularly. It's a better read because of my beta. ^.^
Boone should've pulled back. He knew this but instead he did the exact opposite; snaking an arm around her waist and bringing her closer, the other remained at the nape of her neck. Something clattered to the floor before she wrapped herself around him as well and he backed her into the closed door somewhat roughly, neither of them stopping.
He took in her scent, losing himself in her as he tugged on her hair lightly to angle her head, the kiss becoming more intense. She sighed into his mouth, pulling herself up by her hold on his neck, until he didn't think they could be pressed any closer. He kissed her slowly, heavily, taking his time, savoring the moment - he knew he couldn't let this happen again.
He hadn't been prepared. Not for this, not to have Six walk away after they had argued or how rattled she seemed after her confrontation with Benny. He was not planning on being left behind, leaving her alone to deal with him. She had helped him when he had taken his revenge - it only seemed fitting he be there for hers as well. But a nervous part of him feared that she would send him back to Novac - back to a place he realized he didn't want to return to. He couldn't imagine going back to his life there - not when he had a purpose here. He hadn't been lying to her; he trusted her. He had gotten there slowly, but he did.
A part of him was starting to become afraid, however. Afraid for her, for the enemies she was making. For the changes he knew were coming after all Yes Man had told her. For how much he wanted this now and how he'd betrayed himself because he continued holding her, developing a taste for her. The way she fit against him was seared into him now, he knew it. Everything about this moment was slowly unraveling him and he was tempted, in a way he hadn't been in a very long time. Her nails raked against his shoulders lightly now, the electric trail she was leaving on his skin almost torture.
She broke away slowly, breathlessly, and he knew if he didn't back away now he might not be able to at all.
He pulled away, letting her go and she blinked, confused for a moment as she loosened her hold on him as well. But then he saw the understanding dawning slowly in her eyes before the embarrassment that suffused her. He hated himself for being the cause.
"Six…"
"I'm sorry," she began automatically, looking down. "I shouldn't have done that. Just chalk it up to a shitty day, yeah?" She sounded a bit desperate.
He frowned, not sure what he was expecting. "Hey, look at me."
She did and he was surprised. Her expression had shuttered up, her eyes clear. She swallowed and took a breath. It was shaky, he could hear it but she let it out slowly, making an attempt at a smile. "I don't want things to get weird between us," she said with a shrug, more calmly this time.
He felt like there was a weight in his stomach, as if lead was sitting heavily there, pulling him down. He wasn't sure he knew how to deal with what was happening between them. All he knew was that he needed to box this away, the territory becoming a minefield.
He didn't stop her yet again as she left him, closing her bedroom door firmly behind her.
Six was surprised she didn't melt through the carpeted floor as the humiliation burned through her. She walked over to her bed and tipped into it, face down. He had just given her a few nice words, wonderful words, yes, but she had lost her head and assaulted him.
It had been such a good kiss, too.
At that thought, she felt something akin to heartbreak, her chest constricting once again as she let out a groan. Now she remembered why they hadn't done that before…
Even with her face buried, she closed her eyes, tears threatening again. Knowing his head wasn't in the right place she had kissed him; what a selfish, thoughtless thing to do. She cared for him, she couldn't deny that. So that meant she needed to stop showing it in this manner; she couldn't be another burden on him.
She felt her humiliation turn to shame once again as she sat up and scrubbed at her eyes. She was too high-strung, she finally realized, the day getting to her.
She removed the dress and holsters, leaving the Platinum Chip next to the knife she usually kept on the nightstand. The pip-boy sitting on the surface returned to its place on her wrist. She crawled into bed in her underwear before she turned off the light, wishing she had some whiskey to dull the edges within her, feeling too miserable to stay awake and pity herself any longer.
She didn't want to think about why he had reciprocated for a moment there… He had pulled away in the end, rejection on his lips.
When Six awoke the next day, she still felt tired. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep again she let herself wake up slowly, blinking in the faint light. The room was facing west so she wasn't sure what time it was when she woke up most days if she didn't glance at her pip-boy. It would be easy to remain here while the day slowly brightened as it passed her by. The windows were covered in threadbare curtains that didn't do much to keep the light out when the sun was setting.
Her dreams had been heavy with conflict and she woke up with a name on the tip of her tongue . She knew her conversation with Benny was behind this new tidbit. She was responsible for many lives, if what Benny had told her was true - possibly a whole tribe. Certainly someone she had known specifically from that tribe.
But just like that, it was gone. Frustrating her all the more.
She wanted to groan and bury her head in her pillows, allow herself to wallow in her guilt and misery. Instead she let out a quiet sigh, knowing that she needed to figure out what she was going to do, coming to a slow realization.
Her talk with Benny had made her realize that she was making a mistake by giving too much of herself away. It was something she was guilty of before her memories had been scattered to the wind, an honesty she needed to curb. She usually let herself just be around Boone because she was with him and ED-E at all times nowadays. But she would have to keep a careful check on herself around him. She refused to be something else he had to deal with, only hoping things remained the way they were before last night. They made a good team out in the wasteland. She couldn't be as close as she'd like to be but she didn't want to lose him altogether, either.
But Benny had used her weaknesses against her, her lapse in judgement with him coming to bite her later. She couldn't let this happen again. Not when so much more was at stake now. She needed to learn to rein herself in, to not let her emotions dictate or give her away anymore.
She picked up the Chip, studying it with a small frown. There were so many people she needed to speak to: the tribes on the Strip, the Boomers, the Brotherhood, the Kings and the Followers. Suddenly remembering, she got up hurriedly and searched through the dress, finally pulling free the necklace with the Mark of Caesar dangling from it.
Her thoughts wandered to what else Benny had told her about her meddling. Apprehension seized her as she questioned herself and what she was doing getting involved in this war to the degree she was in already. How deep was she willing to go? The war was coming - there was no denying that. The people of the Mojave were already suffering as it was and things were only going to get worse if no one did anything.
As had become obvious the more she and Boone and ED-E helped. When no one did anything, people fell through the cracks. Live were lost or destroyed. She couldn't not do anything.
Biting her lip, she knew she needed to plan this carefully. She needed to build her allies but she also needed to exploit some opportunities she had been afforded. She needed to know all the pieces involved.
Deciding wallowing was definitely not part of her day, she wrapped the chip and necklace in a light scarf she had found to replace her bandana. She placed them in her satchel, all the way in the bottom where she wouldn't disturb them easily. Then she dressed and brushed out her hair before braiding it again, finding some comfort in that and the pip-boy back on her wrist again.
She nearly tripped on the heels when she opened the door of her room to walk out.
The sight of them brought the night before back in breathtaking detail and she swayed with the loss momentarily. But she swallowed it down as she looked at the shoes suspiciously. They were lined up a foot in front of her door, as if someone had picked them up after she had dropped them yesterday and placed them there.
She wondered where Boone was.
She threw the shoes in her room, not caring where they landed and went to wash up in the bathroom. She hoped she never needed to wear them again, if she was honest. She was just sorry about the state the dress was in, but it was passable until Six could find a replacement for it.
Once she was ready, she walked into the dining area, finding Boone lingering there with a cigarette and an ashtray, a cup of coffee sitting forgotten in front of him. ED-E beeped in greeting at her entrance, calling Boone's attention to her.
She didn't move her eyes from him, trying to act normal. "Morning."
"Hey," he said, nodding at her.
She headed to the kettle to prepare a cup as well, knowing the real test was still forthcoming. His eyes remained on her, lingering more than they used to but that could just be a hyper-sensitivity she had grown towards him after last night. She didn't look at him this time as she spoke, focusing on measuring the coffee from the dented tin to her chipped mug before she poured the water in. "I'm gonna talk to Yes Man again and then head to the Old Mormon Fort to see Arcade. Do you want to come with me?"
"... I've got your back."
She allowed herself the small sigh of relief, her back still to him. They would be ok, she hoped.
She marked all the locations on her pip-boy, everyone Yes Man suggested she talk to. House had given her a general idea of what she needed to do but no parameters or time frame, so she knew she was the master of her own destiny again. At least, for the time being. Her mind continued to swim with all the thoughts in it, all the options...
When she arrived at the Old Mormon Fort, she immediately headed towards Arcade, not letting herself get distracted. She found him in a tent all the way in the back, near the supply crates. He was bent over a book, a frown on his face, pulling at his lip as his eyes traveled over the tome in thought.
"Arcade."
He jumped, his eyes going from her to ED-E before he glared at both of them in annoyance. "Did no one ever tell you it's rude to sneak up on people?"
But she smiled, dismissing his annoyance. "Care to take a walk, doctor?"
His frown took in all three of them this time but he seemed to understand it was important because he nodded as he stood up. He stretched and winced as his back cracked. "I can take a break, sure."
They headed out of the Fort, walking the broken streets of Freeside. She asked him about the settlement, about his opinions on its survival and what the people needed most urgently in the Mojave. He frowned in confusion, deflecting at first, telling her she would be better off speaking to Julie Farkas. But Six shook her head, her gaze serious on his.
"I want your opinion, Arcade. You're the one I know."
His brows raised at this, in suspicion because she was sure he had caught on that she wasn't telling him something. But she wasn't ready yet, not willing to reveal all her cards.
He told her his opinion, sharing where they needed help currently. She marked those places in her pip-boy as well, and as he watched her, he seemed to come to a decision, his tone still a bit hesitant.
"... If you're going to help them out, I should go with you if the offer still stands. I might as well do something useful."
Immensely pleased, she accepted his help. She told him to head to the Lucky 38 once he was ready, letting him know her plans were still not finalized.
He looked at her in complete surprise at that, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hair this time. " You're the one that people have been talking about? The mysterious woman House let in?"
"In the flesh," she quipped, studying him for further reaction. He regarded her carefully, his arms crossed and she did the same, cataloging what she observed. But nothing stood out, nothing that alarmed her.
She glanced at Boone and saw that he seemed accepting as well, giving her an almost imperceptible nod. Her eyes remained on his too long, she knew this, so she finally tore them away, nodding at Arcade in goodbye before she turned and headed back to the Lucky 38.
It was still too new, still too raw.
She brought out maps when she returned to the suite, all that she could find and asked Boone his opinion on the best routes to take from one place to the next. She remembered some routes but knew that they still needed to avoid the 15 heading to Goodsprings due to the Deathclaws there. Looking at the map, she realized how many places they needed to go to, how many roads they'd need to travel to meet their objectives.
Boone was drawing the quickest route he knew to the Mojave Outpost as she studied him unabashed while his attention was on the map in front of him. She took in the steadiness of his voice, his serious expression. He had become a grounding presence in their brief time together. A sinking sensation filled her as she thought of what she would have to do, knowing it was for the best at the moment.
She looked down at the map once again as she felt the ache spread in her. She was going to miss him.
She decided she needed to get well and thoroughly drunk that night, after their planning was put aside for the evening. She just needed to explain the plan to her group before she was free to chug whatever she wanted until she knew no more.
With that in mind, she waited in the cocktail lounge, the radio playing in the background as she sipped her drink slowly and contemplated her life as it was now. She was sitting in one of the booths, the map spread before her on the table but her gaze out on the Strip. The sun was setting in a blaze of orange and red and purple. Near her, ED-E beeped, repeating his percentages once again, even though she had them memorized already.
The chances were better, ED-E affirmed and Boone would have to understand that when she talked to them all.
He joined her not too long after, getting a drink which he sipped slowly, happy to leave the silence between them after he planted himself on the seat across from her. Or so she thought.
"There's a lot of ground to cover." The observation was quiet, not a question, not a press for anything. So she merely nodded, taking another swallow of her drink as she continued staring out at the movement and life of the Strip.
But she needed something from him before she told him her plan, before they parted. Before they separated for the first time in months. She took another sip of her drink, steeling herself but asking him in a steady voice, "What were you hoping your baby would be, Craig? A boy or a girl?"
He froze, she noticed it before she turned to him fully. He looked pained and she felt a moment of remorse as she waited. But then his expression cleared as he thought about it, a small bit of who he had been bleeding through, of a man who once contemplated having a family. "I wanted a girl," he murmured, setting his drink aside carefully.
She would use this, this thought of him, she knew. She would take it with her, knowing a part of her would wonder what kind of father he might have been, the thought making her content for some reason. Maybe it was that a part of her saw how he could someday find happiness again, given enough chance to heal. He had been happy once before.
She took a gulp of her liquor instead of a sip this time, her mind distracted with thoughts of what could be.
Arcade joined them, leaving the guest room he had disappeared into to drop off his pack, putting his Plasma Defender away. He edged around ED-E still she noticed curiously, so she guessed she had chosen well when she decided he needed to accompany Boone. She couldn't take either of them on the journey she was planning.
He sat down beside Boone, shaking his head when she offered him a drink. "No, let me hear what you have to say first. I'll decide if I need a drink after that."
She smirked at him, his snark being the kick in the pants she needed. She gestured to the map, pointing out the locations she had marked.
"We have a big mission ahead of us. I want to hit these areas, as quickly as we possibly can. Times are starting to get desperate as each week goes by, so this is what I'm thinking: the task at hand is to broker some alliances and you can both help with that." She looked at them each, gauging. "I need you both to head to the Mojave Outpost. Boone, I need you to get Cass; she'll remember you and she owes us a favor. Let her know it's time to collect. Let her know it's urgent." He was frowning, but he didn't say anything and she looked away from him quickly, turning her attention to Arcade. "Arcade, I need you to go with him. I need you both to stop at HELIOS One on the way. You need to reach the Follower's contact and fix the problem there, get that place running again and power where it's needed. The people need that and you have to remember, give it to the ones who need it the most," she told them, the order quiet but firm.
Boone looked as if he was about to protest, but she shook her head and spoke before he did. "I'll feel better if I know you're both together, Craig. You'll be needed at each destination. I'll have ED-E with me and our journey's going to be closer. My trip could take longer, since I know it's going to be hard to get into the Brotherhood's Bunker to begin with, let alone get an audience with their Elder," she confessed, but she kept her gaze steady. Knowing she would have to head to Fortification Hill without them, she needed the shorter journey.
"Do you even know where their Bunker is?" Arcade asked plaintively.
She shook her head, pointing at the map between Black Mountain and the NCR Correctional Facility. "It's supposed to be around here so that's where I'm heading."
She looked at both of them again, each in turn. "We'll head out the day after tomorrow, once we're done restocking and we'll meet back here when we're done. Just keep to the roads, the ones you know Boone."
He continued watching her, saying nothing. Arcade looked warily at both of them as she attempted to ignore both, rolling up the maps and standing to put them away. She placed them near the elevator, in their cylinder containers before heading to the bar again and bringing out the bottle of the good vodka she had found there. Grabbing shot glasses, she returned to pour them one each, raising the glass up, eyes bright with determination.
"What are we toasting to?" Arcade wondered, his tone a bit amused.
She gave him a sure smile, "To the beginning of a beautiful friendship?"
He let out a small laugh, shrugging before taking the shot. She took hers next, turning to Boone after she swallowed it. He set his empty shot glass down, nodding at her, his expression looking a bit resigned. But he continued watching her steadily, she could feel it constantly when he thought she wasn't looking. He wasn't going to like the separation any more than she was, she realized.
She poured herself another shot and took it quickly, welcoming the burn as it went down.
She was pretty tipsy by the time Arcade begged off to go to sleep. He was hammered, slurring a little already when he disappeared into the elevator. ED-E floated away with him and he surprisingly didn't mind, leaning onto him a little as the elevator doors slid shut.
She giggled at the sight, sunk into the booth to the point she was almost lying down, her legs stretched out before her. Her boots were on the table and she was careful not to knock over any of the empty bottles that littered the surface as she sipped water slowly, knowing she was still too drunk to go to sleep. She was fighting to keep herself awake but it was a losing battle, she knew.
Boone watched her silently and she met his gaze, too tired to try to hide from it anymore.
"What's on your mind, Craig?" she finally offered, her tone quiet. He hadn't been drinking much, preferring to smoke and she wished she had a cigarette right now as well.
"It's going to be hard not to worry," he finally admitted. She almost laughed, the understanding palpable between them.
"I know," she nodded, swallowing as she admitted it as well.
He stood up and sank down on the seat next to her, not touching her as she turned to look at him.
"Promise me you'll be careful out there," he said and she nodded tightly, clearing her throat before speaking.
"I will be. I need you to do the same though, I need you to be careful, let Arcade watch your back."
"It's not the same," Boone began, but she cut him off.
"I know. But I'm not leaving permanently. We're just needed in separate places right now. Let him help you while I'm not there." She wanted to push, to remind Boone that Arcade was a doctor as well, that he had learned about both physical and emotional trauma. It might not be his strongest talent, but she had faith in Arcade. It was in Boone's hands anyway, if he wanted to talk to anyone, it wasn't something she could decide for him. Exposure to someone of Arcade's expertise was all she could offer right now.
She sat up, finishing her water before standing. Boone rose with her and they walked to the elevator, reaching the suite in silence. The ding of the elevator opening sounded loud among the quiet snoring that was coming out of the guest bedroom where Arcade had already passed out.
Boone scowled as he heard what awaited him and she chuckled at his expression. His face cleared as he looked at her, however, and she allowed herself to reach out for his hand and squeeze it once. But she didn't move past that, just focusing on trying to pass some of her confidence in their separation onto him. To help him understand it was probably best for them at the moment.
They could all survive this, she was sure.
"We'll make the Mojave a better place for your future children, Craig. I promise you." And she gave his hand another squeeze, entwining their fingers briefly before she let go, stepping back. She gave him one last look before she turned towards her room to find what rest she could before she left the New Vegas Strip behind her.
END OF PART I
I appreciate the feedback in all its forms: the reviews, the subscriptions and faves. You guys are amazing and I am so very grateful.
Now for the credit where credit is due:
'No Place for No Hero' - story title inspired by 'Short Change Hero' by The Heavy
Juniper's name is actually the name of a friend's daughter. I'm sure he and his daughter would appreciate the use if they were aware.
Individual chapter titles were all lyrics from various songs from the Fallout soundtracks. I tried to keep them all as New Vegas songs, but 'Through the Rain of Strontium 90' was from Fallout 4 so… Songs used:
'Jingle Jangle Jingle' by Gene Autry
'Way Back Home' by Bob Crosby
'Johnny Guitar' by Peggy Lee
'Heartaches by the Number' by Guy Mitchell
'Crawl Out Through the Fallout' by Sheldon Allman
'Love Me As Though There Were No Tomorrow' by Nat King Cole
'Big Iron' by Marty Robbins
'Happy Times' by Bob Crosby