Chapter 10: Fortune is the Moon
(Glad to be able to post again after all of the frustration. Thanks to ShariBerry89 (I make myself cry pretty often, so you're in good company!), Zweichaos (Thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.), Parnita (Yeah, Bya's being pushed pretty hard, but he's a tough cookie when he has to be. :) He'll be there for Ichigo when he needs it.), Guest (You've got it!), Yukino76 (You are most welcome!), EdensDespair (I will put a rush order on more chapters, especially now that the site is working. Never know how long it will last, you know...), KennishaJames (The two sickies will certainly have all of the loving support they need, that's for sure!), Tee (Yup, Bya sure attracts trouble, doesn't he?), AkiraNatsume (You've got it! More is on the way!), Kyuumihaira (Bya does get socked by life quite a bit, doesn't he?), HannahAceves4414 (I wore the same face as your emoticon when I wrote that!), Alabirdie (No one beats up on Bya, like Bya does, right?), Shima-Taicho31 (Naw, just had to give those two a little nudge towards each other...okay, maybe kind of a big shove! :) But the comfort is sweet!), LittlePrincessNana (You can bet that Byakuya will find a well of strength to draw on, but he's going to need Ichigo as much as Ichigo needs him, that's for darned sure!), and GrimmIchisGrl (Can't spoil, but I will point to both Bya and Ichigo's determination. They're in for a fight.). Great to be back! Love you all, Spunky)
Byakuya opened his eyes and raised his head slightly from where it had been tucked beneath his sleeping husband's chin. He still felt the soft, warm throbs of Ichigo's strong heartbeat, but as cognizance reached him again, each beat seemed to carry accusation.
Ichigo's heart beats despite how I once tried to stop it. He survived on sheer determination to live and to rescue Rukia. And every time something has tried to make his heart stop, he found a way to keep it going.
Every time.
He will come through this as well. I know he will. But even though I very much believe in Ichigo, I can't help going back to that place and wishing I'd acted differently. I've regretted raising my sword to Ichigo, ever since the moment his strength shattered Senbonzakura, and he freed me of the promises I never should have made.
I, of all people, know how futile it is to look back and regret what cannot be changed, but when I look at Ichigo and I feel the love pulsate in my own heart, I also can't help feeling pain for what I did. I know it's important to forgive myself...to move on, but...how do I do that?
Moving very slowly, he pulled free of Ichigo and slipped out of bed. A breeze outside made the branches of a tree scrape against the window and he heard the first pitter pats of coming rain. He moved into the dressing area and removed his yukata, shivering in the cold air. In the mirror, he caught sight of a very light scar on one pale breast, near his heart.
It's strange.
Kirinji was able to erase the scars Senbonzakura left on my body when he nearly killed me, being used by As Nodt, and even the markings left by Gin's Shinzou have disappeared, but the marking from when Zangetsu broke my blade and slashed me that last time has remained.
He thought back to his time in the royal realm, a quiet conversation at the edge of the healing pool after he had finally emerged.
"Something wrong?" Tenjirou asked, frowning.
Pale fingers traced the line of a faint scar on one white breast. Tenjirou's eyes reflected calm understanding.
"You kept that one, huh?" he commented, "Must be important to you."
Byakuya looked back at him silently as his mind replayed the placing of that marking.
"Why do you say I am keeping this?" he asked curiously, "I don't remember deciding to do so."
"Of course you don't," the spring demon chuckled, "That's because it wasn't a decision you made with your mind. It was in your heart to keep it. Like I said, it must be important to you."
Byakuya dressed slowly, then walked on silent feet back to the bed. He gazed down at his husband's placid sleeping face.
I wonder...
He touched Ichigo's face very lightly, sending a soothing flutter of kido into him to make sure he wouldn't wake, then he laid back the blankets, revealing Ichigo's bared front. He closed his eyes for a moment, his heart quickening and a jolt of anxiety disturbing his insides.
I have to look. I need to know. While Ichigo has clearly forgiven me, I need to see if some part of him holds on to that moment too.
He took a quick breath and forced his eyes open, then blinked in dismay as he was sure he saw two heavily bleeding wounds, one from front to back, and the other from back to front. Byakuya's breath caught sharply and he shivered, knowing better to believe his eyes. And indeed, as he calmed, he saw the guilty reflection disappear and found himself looking down at Ichigo's slender body, uninjured, but clearly bearing a faint marking in each place Senbonzakura had pierced him that night.
Or is even that an illusion? I don't know whether to trust my own eyes. I need to stop thinking this way. It isn't healthy. Ichigo was right when he told me that I wasn't acting like myself. I don't feel right. But, what can I do? I can't take back what happened. I can't change the path we're on because of it. I just have to let go of this and focus on Ichigo and our baby. That's all I can do.
He bent and kissed Ichigo affectionately on the forehead, then laid the blankets back over him. Heading out of the guest room, he made his way to Tetsuya's room and slipped in through the open door. As he entered, he spotted Tetsuya, curled up and sleeping contentedly on Kurushimi's chest. Kuri's turquoise eyes opened and fixed on him quietly, and the Shima leader smiled at him.
"He is much better, Byakurai," he assured Byakuya, "Princesa was able to force out the corrupted reiatsu before he would have hollowfied. Tetsu-hana will be fine now. He just needs to sleep."
"Very well," Byakuya said softly, "I will leave him in your care."
He started to turn away, then looked back over his shoulder.
"Shima Kurushimi, Kisuke informed me that if you had not acted so quickly to help Tetsuya, he might have died. To have lost him in such a way would have been exceedingly difficult to bear."
"No one could have anticipated the strange effect of that hollow," Kuri reasoned, "We were just very lucky Tetsu-hana gave his best to staying with us, and that Princesa was close by to aid him."
"You also aided him," Byakuya insisted, "You saw that he was ill and trying to hide it. You first tried to heal him and acted quickly when you saw how serious it was. I am...in your debt, as is my cousin. I know you have shown interest in Tetsuya, and if he returns your feelings, I will give you my blessing to officially court him."
A slow smile spread across Kurushimi's tanned face.
"You are protective of your lovely Tetsu-hana," he answered, "I will be sure to show him my deepest respect."
"As well you should," Byakuya said, smirking slightly and huffing out a soft breath.
He left the room and walked back into the hallway, pausing and glancing back at the door to the room where Ichigo laid sleeping, before continuing on, through the candy shop at the front of the house, and out into the street. He ignored the fat droplets of rain that splashed onto his bare face and arms, and that began to soak into the clothing his gigai wore. With slow footsteps, he traced the path from the candy shop to the lonely street where his path and Ichigo's had crossed for the first time.
Cloudy grey eyes observed the place where Ichigo and Renji had faced off over Rukia's fate. He could almost hear the echoes of their voices as they sparred verbally before coming to physical blows. He saw too the spot, just steps away, from which he had observed before noting that the arrogant human boy was beginning to gain the upper hand on his second in command, and he decided, rather than allow Renji to lose, he had to step in. In his mind, he felt his feet move into a blinding flash step and then the impact of the two swift strikes that occurred at such speed, the boy didn't even realize at first that he had been attacked.
I didn't feel anything in striking him down. It was only that we were given orders to apprehend Rukia and to kill the human she gave her powers to. It wasn't personal.
But looking again, he wondered if maybe it had been.
I was annoyed that a mere human boy with no training was able to injure a soldier with Renji's ability...and my own fukutaichou. I was upset because Rukia broke the law on his behalf. I told myself it wasn't personal, but that seems to have been a lie.
Sullen droplets of rain leaked down his face, trying to melt into his already drenched clothing.
Yes, secretly, I wanted to kill him for that double insult.
And now, that secret desire comes back to wound me.
"Byakuya?"
Byakuya's body stiffened reflexively and he forcibly calmed his features as he turned and found Ichigo, dressed in his street clothes and a warm jacket and carrying an umbrella. He moved closer, raising the umbrella slightly to cover him as well.
"Are you...okay?" Ichigo asked softly.
He looked around at the deserted street, the flickering street light and the rain coming down and pooling in the gutter.
"Why did you come here?"
He paused, studying the area more closely, then comprehension registered in his eyes.
"Oh."
"I am sorry," Byakuya said suddenly, shivering as the cold finally began to leak in.
Ichigo looked back at him questioningly.
"Sorry for what? For being assigned to come here that night? For doing your job? Byakuya, you know I don't hold that against you."
"I know," Byakuya sighed, closing his burning eyes for a moment and wondering briefly if he was in fever, "I hold it against myself."
"Why? It was nothing personal, right? You were sent to apprehend Rukia and you had orders to kill me. And have you forgotten, you didn't even complete those orders? Rukia convinced you not to finish me off. Is this what's been eating away at you lately? Look, you have to just let it go, okay?"
"I think it is not letting me go," Byakuya replied, his lips trembling slightly.
"I can see that," Ichigo agreed, "But why? Everything's okay between us, right? You're not worried I'm still upset about being forced to marry you and have kids? Cause, I'm really okay with it now. It was kind of a shock and I had to get used to the idea, but I am very much in love with you now. I don't have any regrets. But...it looks like you may have some that are really after you."
"I don't believe in holding on to regrets."
Ichigo smiled and reached out to squeeze a cold, damp hand.
"That's the guy I know. But, if that's how you feel, why are you holding onto this? There's got to be a reason, right?"
Unable to make the admission aloud, Byakuya loosed a worried sigh and just nodded.
"You should just tell me," Ichigo said calmly, "Whatever it is, you shouldn't face it by yourself. That's why you have me. You're supposed to share the good things and the bad things with me."
"I don't think I can avoid sharing this with you if I wanted to," Byakuya answered, moving closer and brushing his cold cheek against Ichigo's warmer one, "But once you know, it could be a burden that you shouldn't have to carry."
"I'm a tough guy," Ichigo assured him, nuzzling closer and earning a swift objection from Byakuya.
"Stop, I'm getting you wet," he complained.
"Well, you shouldn't have come out here without an umbrella, baka. Come on. We'll go back and warm up over a couple of cups of hot chocolate. If you're good, I'll have Kisuke put a little peppermint liqueur in yours. I can't have it, but I think it might do you some good."
"I don't need alcohol to solve my problems," Byakuya said shortly.
"Well, you need something," Ichigo reasoned, "because I'd say it's kinda getting away with you. We'll go back, warm up and talk about it. C'mon."
He gave Byakuya a gentle nudge, and this time he fell in alongside Ichigo, breathing more easily as he felt that warm, powerful presence at his side.
Even with the limiter holding his powers back, Ichigo has strong reiatsu. He isn't at all like Hisana. She was weakened badly by her life in Inuzuri.
"We need to get you some more casual street clothes," Ichigo commented, bringing him out of his thoughts, "Yours are pretty formal for hanging out around Karakura Town."
"I don't do a lot of hanging out," Byakuya replied, glancing at the clothes that the few other people who were out along the street were wearing, "When I come to Karakura Town, it is usually on business, so my attire needs to be more formal."
"The way you talk is pretty formal too," Ichigo chuckled, "Attire? You need to loosen up a little, maybe get a tattoo."
"What?" Byakuya mused, blinking in surprise, "A...tattoo?"
Ichigo shrugged.
"They look good on Renji, and you two do work together. You could get a little..."
"No," Byakuya said firmly.
"Aww, it could just be on your gigai, not your soul body."
Byakuya scowled, turning the idea over in his head.
"And you think this would be an improvement?" he asked.
"Look, I'm not saying you need to change or anything, I'm just suggesting things to try that are different. If you don't want to get a tattoo, maybe a piercing in your ear. You could wear a diamond stud. I think it would look great."
"I'm not fond of the idea of punching new holes in my body."
"It'd be cute if we both get a piercing," Ichigo went on, "We could buy a pair of diamond earrings and each wear one. How does that sound?"
"Somewhat better than a tattoo," Byakuya sighed, giving his husband a flustered look.
"Okay, here's a place that will do it, right here."
He grabbed Byakuya's arm and pulled him into the jewelry store.
"Ichigo, what are you...?"
"Hey, Tomoko-san," Ichigo greeted the owner, at the same time, shaking out his umbrella outside the door and setting it near the door.
"Oh, hello Ichigo," the owner said, smiling, "What can I do for you and your friend?"
"Ah, this isn't exactly a friend," Ichigo explained, "Byakuya and I just got married recently."
"Oh, congratulations, Ichigo-san!" Tomoko said excitedly, "And congratulations to you, Byakuya-san! Are you here for a wedding ring set?"
"We have rings," Ichigo answered, "What Byakuya and I want is for you to give us each a piercing in our ear and we want to buy a pair of diamond studs to wear in them."
"Ichigo, are you sure we...?" Byakuya said uncertainly.
"Oh, I have some very nice diamond studs that just arrived. Come and see. Come and see. Over this way."
Byakuya let out a distressed breath as Ichigo pulled him along to an area behind the counter, where the jeweler had laid out the new studs on a purple cloth. He looked closely at them and chose two, then held them up and peered at them through a special viewing lens.
"These are the two finest," he said proudly.
Byakuya examined each of the studs for a moment, then nodded in approval.
"They are nearly perfect," he commented.
"They have some very slight imperfections," Tomoko said, looking down at the jewels almost affectionately, "but I like them a little flawed. It feels more natural, don't you think, Byakuya-san?"
"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "I feel the same."
"Really?" Ichigo inquired curiously, "I would have figured you'd go for flawless."
"Nonsense," Byakuya said, smiling patiently, "The little imperfections are what give the jewels their unique character."
"Ah, a man after my own heart," Tomoko said approvingly, "You are very lucky, Ichigo-san. Your husband is, himself, a rare gem, isn't he?"
"Oh, don't you go flirting with my husband now," Ichigo joked, "Just make the piercings. We'll take the two studs you chose."
"Done," said the jeweler, "Who will be first?"
Ichigo laughed.
"Better do him first, before he changes his mind," he instructed Tomoko, "He looks like he's having second thoughts."
"I never actually had first thoughts of doing this," Byakuya sighed, "but if it means so much to you."
"That is a very sweet sentiment," Tomoko said, giving Byakuya a genuine smile, "Ichigo-san, you've married a fine gentleman."
"You don't have to tell me that," Ichigo agreed, watching as Tomoko cleaned and sterilized Byakuya's soft earlobe, then set the first stud in the piercing gun and positioned it carefully.
"Hold still now. It won't hurt when I give the piercing. It will burn slightly for a few moments after, though."
"Very well."
Byakuya heard a sound like a stapler and felt the point of the earring punch through his earlobe. A moment later, he felt a burning sensation, but found it to be relatively minor.
"See, nothing to it," Ichigo said, taking the seat Byakuya vacated and waiting as Tomoko prepared to pierce his ear.
Byakuya stood and looked quietly into a mirror on the jewelry counter, studying the glittering diamond and how it altered his reflection. And although he hadn't been sure it was a good idea, he found the change to his liking.
"Is everything okay?" Ichigo asked, moving over to stand next to him, so they could view how they looked together in the mirror, "It's not bad, right?"
"No, it's not bad," Byakuya said reassuringly, "I do think it's an improvement...on both of us."
"Great," Ichigo said, grinning, "So, what do you want to do next?"
Byakuya arched an eyebrow and looked back at him sternly.
"I think that was enough excitement for one day. We should go back to the shop and perhaps have that hot chocolate that you suggested."
"Sounds good to me," Ichigo agreed.
Byakuya turned to the shopkeeper to settle the bill, then paused, giving Ichigo a surprised look as he stepped in between them.
"I've got this," he said, handing the jeweler a credit card.
"You don't have to do that."
"You gave me a customized car," Ichigo said, shaking his head, "This is my wedding gift for you."
"Not quite traditional," Byakuya observed, looking into Ichigo's happy eyes, "but very much appreciated. Thank you, Ichigo. They are lovely."
"I'm glad you like them on us," Ichigo said, reclaiming his umbrella and following him out of the shop.
He opened the umbrella, then smiled as it was stolen from his hand and Byakuya took a turn holding it.
"What a gentleman," he commented, "Thanks."
"It's no trouble," Byakuya answered, making a sound of approval as Ichigo slipped a hand into his.
"You feeling better now?" Ichigo asked, nuzzling under his chin.
"Much, thank you...well, maybe except for the slight burning on my earlobe."
"You having more regrets?" Ichigo chided him.
"No," Byakuya assured him, "I think the sting is worth it."
"You're right about that," Ichigo said more seriously, turning and stopping them short of the shop, "Byakuya, I know that you're worried about some things, but whatever happens, good or bad, we shouldn't have any regrets, okay? The past is in the past. We have a great future together."
"All future is uncertain," Byakuya said more softly, "Our fortunes are unpredictable, like the energies of the moon."
"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "I know. I'm just saying I accept that. And...I think that whatever our future is, I want that future to be something I share with you."
Byakuya tightened his hand in Ichigo's and closed his eyes for a moment.
"I want the same."
"Good. Then, let's go have some hot chocolate."
The two started towards the front door, then stopped as a familiar voice called out to them.
"Hey, Taichou, Ichigo! Wait up."
The two turned and paused as Renji flash stepped to join them.
"Good afternoon, Renji," Byakuya greeted him, "Is this about work or...?"
"Oh, everything's fine at the sixth. I just had a meeting out here and heard you were at Kisuke's, so I thought I'd stop by and see how things are going."
He grinned at Ichigo's slightly protruding belly.
"You're looking good," he complimented his friend, "but you know, I think it's a good thing the gigai you wear doesn't show that cute little belly of yours to the humans. It might freak them out."
"It would look kinda weird, since human guys can't have kids," Ichigo agreed, "but I'm glad that we can still see it, even with the gigai. I sort of like how it looks."
"I do as well," Byakuya agreed.
"You look a little damp, Taichou," Renji noticed, "Were you out in the rain?"
"Yeah, but I found him and dried him off a little," Ichigo chuckled, "We're gonna have hot chocolate inside. Wanna join us?"
"Sounds great," Renji said, falling in with them as they entered the shop.
"I need to check on Tetsuya," Byakuya said as they passed through the candy store, "I will meet you in the kitchen."
"Okay," Ichigo said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, "We'll start the hot chocolate."
Byakuya walked down the hallway and through the open doorway into Tetsuya's room, where he found his cousin sitting up and looking pale, but much improved as he and Kurushimi shared the meal on his tray.
"You are looking much better, Tetsuya," he said in a relieved tone, "I do hope that you have thanked Kurushimi appropriately for his assistance. He did take action that saved your life."
"Oh, Tetsu-hana has made very clear how much he appreciates my help," Kuri chuckled, enjoying the instant blush it brought to Tetsuya's cheeks and throat, "We have decided to begin an official courtship, if that meets with your approval."
"Does it meet with yours, Tetsuya?" Byakuya asked.
"Yes, watashi no itoko," Tetsuya answered, squeezing Kuri's hand, "I'm happy to accept his proposal for a courtship."
"Then, I approve as well. Congratulations, both of you."
"How is Ichibun today?" Kuri asked.
"He is well," Byakuya said quietly.
"And what about you?" Tetsuya asked, noting the slight pause before his answer, "Is something wrong, Byakuya-sama?"
"No," Byakuya answered, smiling as Ichigo entered the room, "I am fine."
"Hot chocolate's ready," Ichigo announced, reaching for Byakuya's hand.
As their hands touched and they started to turn together, Ichigo paused and made a guttural sound of pain. He clutched at his midsection, panting softly. Byakuya placed an arm around him and called out down the hallway.
"Kisuke!"
"Are you all right, Cousin?" Kuri said, climbing out of the bed and rushing to Ichigo's side, "What is happening?"
"Ah...ah, I dunno. It just...I must've moved wrong or something. It hurt really bad for a few moments."
"Is it hurting now?" Kisuke said, entering the room and dropping onto his knees in front of Ichigo.
"N-no, it stopped," Ichigo reported, rubbing his belly gently, "I probably just overdid it a little today is all. I feel okay now."
"Well," Kisuke said, glancing meaningfully at Byakuya, "you let me be the judge of that, okay? C'mon and relax in your room. I'll have Renji bring your hot chocolate in here and we'll have a look at you."
"I'm fine now, really," Ichigo complained.
"Listen to Kisuke," Byakuya said firmly, taking him by the arm and nudging him towards their room, "He knows better than you do about noble male pregnancy."
Ichigo sighed resignedly and let himself be led into the bedroom, where Byakuya quickly undressed him and placed a clean yukata around him. He laid down in the bed, watching as Kisuke bent over him, examining him carefully.
"What's going on? Is something wrong?" Ichigo asked, sounding worried, "Kisuke..."
Kisuke shot a concerned look at Byakuya, then smiled encouragingly at Ichigo.
"You're leaking some reiatsu and it seems to have caused a little deficiency. We'll just have you eat a big meal and Byakuya'll juice you up with some fatherly reiatsu for the kid, and you should be all right."
Ichigo frowned.
"Is it normal for there to be leakage like that?" he asked.
Byakuya and Kisuke exchanged glances.
"Not usually, no," Kisuke answered.
"Ichigo," Byakuya said, sitting down at his husband's bedside, "the truth is...the reason that there is reiatsu leakage is because of the injuries I gave you before."
Ichigo gazed back at him silently, the events of the afternoon replaying in his mind and Byakuya's moodiness suddenly making sense to him.
"You knew about this?" he asked softly, "Is that why you were out there in the rain at that place today, Byakuya? You knew there was a problem?"
Byakuya looked back at him in silence, unable to form an answer.
"Byakuya knew it was a possibility," Kisuke supplied, "I noticed there might be a problem yesterday and I explained it to him. My guess is that he was out there trying to figure out how to tell you without scaring you to death."
"Should I be scared?" Ichigo asked, shivering at the look in Byakuya's lowered eyes, "Could this kill the baby? Could it kill me?"
He read the instant answer in the tormented look that came into Byakuya's eyes, and his teeth clenched.
"It'll be okay," he said tightly.
Byakuya gave him an incredulous look.
"You're reassuring me?" he mused breathlessly.
"Yeah," Ichigo said, shivering again, "cause I need you with me on this. I need you to believe that it's gonna be okay, and I need you to tell me that so I'll believe it too."
"Ichigo..." Byakuya whispered, his face going pale.
"Look at me," Ichigo said, taking Byakuya's hands firmly in his, "I'm not going to leave you. This kid is not going to leave us. We are NOT going to let that happen!"
Unable to make his voice sound, Byakuya forced his emotions down and nodded, then sucked in a stinging breath. He rose and walked into the dressing area, emerging a few minutes later, dressed in a white yukata. He laid down in the bed and turned towards his white-faced husband, laying his palms gently on Ichigo's rounded belly and beginning a stabilizing infusion. Ichigo patted his belly lightly.
"See Kiddo," he said to his belly, "That's all you need. I'm gonna eat right and Byakuya's gonna beef up your reiatsu. You'll be fine. You're a Kuchiki and a Shiba. No one knows stubborn better than you, got it?"
Ichigo let out a shaky breath.
"I guess it doesn't really matter to the kid, but it helped me to say it."
"Our baby heard you," Byakuya assured him.
"Oh, how do you know?"
"Because you are far enough along for that...and I felt a flutter when you spoke to our child."
"Really? Where?" Ichigo asked, his eyes widening.
"Here," Byakuya said, guiding his hand, "Say something."
"Hey uh, it's me," Ichigo said to his belly, "You hearing me when I talk to you, Kid?"
Ichigo's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened in wonder as the reiatsu beneath his hand seemed to quiver in response.
"That's amazing," he breathed, meeting Byakuya's eyes cautiously.
He paused a moment, his hand shaking where it rested on his abdomen.
"Byakuya...do you...? Do you really think...?"
Byakuya shook his head firmly.
"It will be all right," he promised his anxious husband, leaning forward to kiss him reassuringly, "You and the baby will be fine."
He stole a glance at Kisuke, giving him a look of warning.
This cannot end like it did before.
It can't.
Somehow, there has to be a way to save them!