By the time I'd clicked on to what had happened and followed her she was long gone. I went straight next door and woke Scott up, we had to find her, and I had to find out what I did wrong.
"Scott, Scott wake up right now, Zoe's gone you gotta help me look for her," I said in blind panic, a million thoughts of her lying in a ditch somewhere racing through my mind all at once. Scott was only stirring, why wasn't he moving any faster? This was an emergency God damn it!
"Scott! Come on man I need your help! You have to help me search the city!" He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
"Where'd she go?" Scott asked; his mind still in dreamland.
"Oh, Geez Scott, if I knew that don't ya' think I'd be there? Hurry up and get dressed before she gets too far!" By now I was pacing back and forth, hands running through my hair praying that she was somewhere safe. Scott was just pulling on a jacket as I dragged him out the door.
"So, why'd she leave? And where were you last night?" Scott said finally managing to walk on his own instead of having me drag him. I took the stairs. We didn't have time to wait for the elevator.
"I stayed with her, she was upset, I don't know, she was changing in the bathroom. She'd been in there a while so I knocked and asked-"Crap, that was it. I spun round and punched the wall, leavings cracks and a dent behind.
"Hey! What the hell?" Scott put a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down and stop me from hitting anything else. I shrugged him of and ran down the steps of the hotel, faster than before. I heard him struggling to keep up behind me. Damn it…it was my fault. I was fuming with myself. I had to get her back; I had to explain myself to her.
"Punk, tell me what the hell is going on!" Scott grabbed my arm and spun me around, I could see that he was as upset as I was that she was missing.
"It's my fault; I asked if she needed and help changing…she couldn't move her arm, I could hear through the door that she was struggling. She came out and said that this whole thing was just a plan to get to her. She thought me asking to come in was me asking to see her naked, 'To pounce' I gotta explain that it wasn't like that, she's out there, alone and hurting and it's my fault! So are we going to stand here and talk about it or are we going to find her?" He paused for a second, trying to understand the situation before nodding and racing down the stairs with me.
Once we made it down to the lobby Scott had the sense of mind to ask the receptionist if she'd seen her, she said a girl with long brown hair asked for directions to the nearest pharmacy. I freaked, jumping to the worst possible conclusion. Scot scribbled down the directions and we set of running again fro the second time that morning. Christ, it wasn't even 11 yet. We managed to find the pharmacy within ten minutes but with no sight of Zoe on the way. I can't believe I was so stupid, I should've knows how she'd react. After a little briary and the promise of an autograph the man at the clinic told us she'd tried to buy three boxes of sleeping pills; but after being told she could only buy one box my law she'd purchased three different brands which was somehow, allowed. I didn't say anything before I barged out the door and marched up the street. I had an idea of where she'd go. She said that, once upon a time she did really trust me; she must've to talk to me like she did that night, which probably made this whole thing hurt her more. I felt my anger bubble in my chest and had to force myself to push it down, I could be angry and myself later, but now I had to find Zoe. And I know she'd want to go to the place where it started. I shouted back at Scott to check every public bathroom he could find. It was a long shot, but it was all we had.
I'd been searching for about two hours now, me and Scott split up after the pharmacy in hope of covering more ground. In my experience with sleeping pills they usually knocked you our after about 2 and a half hours so we were running out of time. I'd checked every public stall, restaurant bathroom and superstore restroom I could find and no sign of her. I was struggling to not let the panic building inside of me, I had to keep a level head for her sake. I just have to find her. I found a map that lead me down a fairly wooded path, there was apparently a lone bathroom stall there for hikers and whatnot. It was fairly out of the way, but I figured Zoe wouldn't want to be disturbed. Right now it was my best hope.
It look me about 45 minutes to finally get there, I could see it at the end of the trail of woodchips. I was trying to think of what I could say to make sure she didn't bolt. That was if she was even still awake once I got there. My blood was torn between burning with fury at putting her in this position and becoming ice cold with fear I wouldn't find her or that I'd be too late. Honestly, I don't think I can afford to think about either. The door was locked. My heart skipped a beat and I felt sweat prickle at the back of my neck. There was nobody around; it was too cold for most people to go out walking. I kicked the door until it busted open and held my breath. My eyes instinctively closed; no way was I prepared for what I may or may not find. I wasn't ready to find her, lying there unconscious or possibly…dead. But I couldn't stand the thought of not finding her and feeling even more helpless. I forced my lids to open, the smell of the dirty toilet making me taste vomit in my throat. I would've spewed if my mind wasn't so out of it.
There she was. Lying there, with her knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped protectively around them. Her hands were hidden by the long sleeves that she loved so much. Her delicate head rested on the toilet basin, without a care in the world. Her eyes were obviously shut; she probably would've ran otherwise. Her lashes still wet, glinting against her cheeks that were visibly stricken with dried tears that told a million stories. I noticed the subtle rise and fall of her chest causing her to snore just a little. I relaxed instantly but panic soon set it. Just because I've found her, doesn't mean she'll wake up. I got out my phone to dial an ambulance, just as I put the phone to my ear, something told me to look at the floor. My eyes found the three packets of pills, and the silver pockets that reflected tiny beams of light deep into the dusty room. I heard the operator pick up, "Hello, 999, what is your emergency?" rung through my ear but I didn't care. I bent down to inspect the packet in question; all three were hazardously thrown on to the floor, all ripped open. One of the reflective pockets was empty; one only had two pills missing. My eyebrows furrowed together as I looked up to Zoe again, a tiny part of me praying she'd be awake and this whole thing was just a dream. Neither of us we're that lucky. One of her hands were balled up into a fist under her sleeve, I leant forward and gently pulled her hand away from her legs. I had to be careful as it was her bad arm, I knew her wound was still raw and I didn't want her to start bleeding again. I pulled down her sleeve slightly, just enough to set her hand free. It was in a fist, but it was lose, she was holding something. As I uncurled her fingers I wandered what it might hold, a letter? A final good bye? A razor? The tiny pitter patter of something hitting the floor made my mind just back to reality. Her hand was now empty and there were little, white circles decorating the muddy floor. Her sleeping pills.
She didn't take them all.