"Why're you so quiet, love?" Paul asks me and I look to him and shake my head and look back to the window.
"J, is something wrong?" Paul asks me as he starts to rub his thumb in slow circles on my hand.
"No, nothing's wrong." I say turning to him as he's looking at me and he nods and looks back to the road with a confused look on his face.
I guess nothing is wrong, I was just scared by what happened earlier at the hotel. Those girls, the press and getting hit by one of those girls. It was one of the moments where you're scared for your life and you feel so threatened. I sometimes and still wish that Paul was a normal guy, not worldly famous, gone on tour a lot, kind of guy. I look to my left arm to the red spot from earlier. With what just happened back at the hotel, kind of moments like these make me wonder or have second thoughts about this relationship. Then I think how it's been almost 11 months, how happy he makes me, how great he is to me and how much he loves me. I couldn't just break his heart. What I'm saying sounds like I don't want to be with Paul and that isn't the deal by any means, honest. What happened just scared me and fights we've had have made me have that thought too. Now I feel bad having second thoughts because Paul said the thought of leaving me has never even occurred to him and now I'm having that thought and I've had it once or twice before.
I rest my elbow on the car door and place my chin in my palm. I thought of bringing the whole scared by the thing at the hotel thing up to Paul, but that's a terrible idea, he'll have a fit thinking I don't want to be with him, but I do so much. I just, I was so scared with what happened earlier and ugh I'm going to endure plenty more of that if we're going to be together for a long time.
"I can tell something is wrong, love. Why won't you tell me what it is?" Paul says interrupting my thoughts as I continue to look out the window and think of what to say to him, if anything.
I end up not saying anything, ignoring him and he huffs and stops tracing circles on my thumb with his hand. I close my eyes and relax until we get there and neither of us say anything the rest of the ride. I know he was just caring about me, but I just don't want to talk right now.
"Ey sleeping beauty, wake up cos we're here." Paul says shaking my shoulder because I must've fallen asleep and I groan and look over to him with sleepy eyes.
"C'mon babe, let's go take a nap." he says while tucking a piece of hair behind my ear while I look at him sleepily.
"I'm too tired to walk." I whine and he nods and gets out of the car and comes to my side and opens the door.
"Alright, piggy back ride then." Paul says as he turns around with his back to me as he crouches down.
I laugh with a smile and get out and jump on his back while hooking my arms around his neck and I rest my cheek on his soft shirt. He stands up and hoists me up more so I'm not hanging off him and he hooks his arms under my knees. He's a gentlemen and grabs both of our suitcases and starts walking as my eyes are closed.
"Crap, i'm gonna trip in this bloody sand." paul says and I open my eyes to see him stumbling a bit and I chuckle.
"Yeah go ahead and laugh, just wait till I topple over and we land in a pile." he says and I laugh again.
"Ha ha." Paul says as he gets up to the door of the house and I hear him dig a key out of the mailbox and open it.
We step into the house and he let's me down and I lean against him and I open my eyes wider to see a fancy, white house in front of my eyes. Or at least the inside, which has a big fancy kitchen with an island with pots and pans hanging above it on hooks. You step right into the living room from the front door and it has two big light brown sofas and a same color recliner. Between the kitchen and the living room is the somewhat dining room with a long table surrounded by chairs and then there's a staircase behind one of the couches that leads upstairs.
"Wow, this place is wonderful." I say with my mouth open in surprise at how fancy and nice this place is.
"He did a good job, i didn't think he'd do this well. But I'm not complaining, and you don't seem to be either." Paul says and I look at him as he says the last part as he looks at me with a smile and I nod in agreement.
"Let's go explore!" Paul says like a little kid at a playground and he sets down the suitcases by a cabinet not too far from the door and I see that he has a big grin on his face and I smile and nod. We go for the stairs as we excitedly stride up the stairs hand in hand.