My beautiful readers!! How I love thee so much. Here is another update - and here begins the rotation of perspectives for the remainder of the story. It's fun to do it like that :-D I hope I captured the essence of Edward nice and clear for you!

EDWARD MASEN

The moments right after I woke up were the best. In that three or four seconds of complete oblivion, when my mind concentrated on retaining my fast-fading dreams and didn't remember what was going on in my waking world, I felt so damn relaxed that on the fifth second I almost suffered a stress-induced hernia.

This pattern had not been going on very long, I knew, but it felt like forever. Since Vanessa had gone missing on Wednesday night, the last three times I'd woken up had been accompanied by that damn stress.

And I felt even worse about Bella. She had been given the unwritten responsibility of looking out for her cousin and now that she was missing, I knew Bella felt entirely responsible. Too many times over the last three days had I heard her repeating the same sentiment; Where the fuck is Vanessa?

At least today there was no school to add to the mix. Saturday provided that much of a relief.

I sat up in bed, the covers sliding down to my waist. I pressed my palms to my eyes in an attempt at shoving the upcoming headache to the back of my mind – it didn't work. Never did.

My en-suite looked the same as usual – towels everywhere, clothes on the floor other than in the laundry chute and things that I'd pulled from my pockets on various occasions sitting like a museum exhibition on my vanity counter.

I splashed some water on my face, hanging my head and watching the water drop from the end of my nose. I didn't bother looking at my reflection – I knew there would be sleepless circles under my eyes and a lack of sponginess in my cheeks from the lack of genuine smiling I'd done recently. Guilt welled in my throat and almost made me hurl.

Feeling pathetic and clammy, I pulled my shirt over my head with one hand and leaned into the shower cubicle to turn the hot tap on. While I waited for it to warm up I went back to my bedroom, made sure the door to the hall was locked, and seized a clean pair of underwear and pants.

Back in the bathroom I swept all the dirty laundry up and threw it down the chute, watching it disappear; then I grabbed the used towels save for a couple and watched the rest disappear too. I hung up the two remaining towels and turned back to the shower where steam had fogged up the glass.

- - -

Ten minutes later I stepped out on to the carpet of my bedroom and nearly fell backwards.

"Morning," she said. Her brown eyes twinkled, reading the next question before I could voice it. "Yes, you locked it, but I was already in here."

"What, hiding behind my bed?"

"Would I be so childish?" she returned, walking past me onto the tiles.

I resisted the urge to answer her rhetorical question. "You're not being fair about this you know."

"Life isn't fair."

"You would know."

She flashed me a look so much like Bella's. "Do you do this to everyone who confides in you?" She reached for the towel beside my own. The one that ought to not be hanging there.

"Only the people who put me in severely compromising positions at the same time."

"Do you always talk like that?"

I knew what she meant. "I was raised reading Bronte."

"Figures." Then she closed the door behind her, and a minute later I heard the sounds of the shower coming on again. I immediately heard footsteps on the stairs, so I went to the door in anticipation. But I didn't open it.

"Edward dear?" Esme called. I could tell she was only halfway up. "Why are you having another shower?"

I tried to sound tired. Weariness came through instead – but the two emotions were close enough that my mother didn't pick the falseness. "I was so tired I forgot to wash out the conditioner. I won't be long."

"Good thing we live in a place where there's no shortage of water," she joked. I was quite sure she believed me – the other times Vanessa had showered here my parents had not been home from work.

I regretted lying to my mother – I wished more than anything that she would somehow know what was going on and fix it before Bella found out. Because when she found out, I knew I was in for it. And I would deserve it.

Another wave of nausea forced me to sit on my bed without moving, trying to keep the bile down. The bathroom water cut off so I went downstairs for breakfast. Vanessa wasn't stupid enough to come down – Esme and Carlisle didn't know she was here and it was very much better that way. They were good people – they would actually tell Charlie where his MIA niece was if they knew. Not like me. I just lied and pretended I wasn't harbouring an emotionally ruined girl with some serious baggage.

In the kitchen Esme was sitting at the island with a bowl of cornflakes in front of her. The plasma over the stove was on, the sound right down, and a cartoon I didn't recognise was playing. Esme was watching with a grin on her face. She was so youthful at heart.

I pushed some bread down into the toaster, subtly slipping a banana and apple in my pocket when Esme got up to put her bowl beside the sink. "Carlisle wants to speak to you this morning, Edward," she said airily. I froze and felt the blood in my face evaporate. Esme didn't seem to notice.

"Why?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.

She headed for the staircase. "Don't know. He's waiting now."

"Okay," I said in a small voice. I took a look at the toaster, saw that it had a few minutes to go, and decided to dash upstairs to give Vanessa her breakfast before facing Carlisle. It wouldn't do to have to explain why I was smuggling fruit around the house if he didn't know about my uninvited guest.

I took the stairs two at time when Esme was out of sight, dashed in to my bedroom and dropped the pieces of fruit on my mattress. I was out again before Vanessa could have a chance to appear from the bathroom – this was one of the few moments that I was relieved about girls spending so much time in bathrooms.

Carlisle's office was down the hall beside his bedroom. I did my best to compose my features in to a politely interested expression – but once I'd knocked and Carlisle said, "Come in Edward", it went to hell. I looked guiltier than a cat with a canary feather poking from its teeth.

He was at his dark wooden desk, head bent over something and one hand scribbling. He didn't look up when I stepped inside. "Close the door behind you, please." His pleasant manners were more unnerving than if he'd been swinging an axe.

"You wanted to see me," I spoke to the door, afraid of meeting my father's eyes.

"Yes." A rustling of papers. I could feel his stare. I didn't turn around. "You're going to see Bella today, am I right?"

I half turned, but didn't incline my head at all. I concentrated on a painting of eighteenth century Italy on his wall, speaking to the silver moon there. "Yeah, I'm going to see her. Why?" I hoped he couldn't hear the shaking in my voice.

"I was just making sure. Because I wanted you to know that if you don't see Bella today, I'll be seeing Charlie." He spoke gravely. Shit. He totally knew.

I turned my head without giving myself permission to do so. Carlisle's eyes caught me with such force that I couldn't look away – they were electric blue in this light, focused with determination, and they were pulling me to him and shoving me away with equal force. It was very uncomforting to see him so intense.

"And make sure," he said without breaking eye contact, "that when you see her you say everything you need to."

"I will, Dad." I barely ever called Esme and Carlisle 'Mum' and 'Dad'. All three of us knew that it was significant when I did so – it meant that I knew where my place was. That I wasn't their get-away-with-it nephew anymore.

He nodded once, released me by looking back to his paper, and I knew I should leave.

I was intrigued that he knew; curious as to whether Esme did too; and frightened about facing my girlfriend. But I deserved to be. However, most of all, I was grateful that he was giving me the push that I needed.

Bella would not find out from Charlie. She would find out from me.

- - -

Vanessa promised not to make a sound, not to leave the room, and not to touch any of my stuff while I went to see Bella. It was protocol by now; "I'm going out, stay here and don't ruin anything while I'm gone. Hide if anyone but me comes." She would always agree. But I always found things moved around when I got back. She was as stubborn as Bella, too - she always insisted that she hadn't done anything wrong.

Bella didn't greet me at the door like she usually did. I knocked and waited, but she didn't come. Neither did Charlie – not that I expected him to. He was probably out looking for Vanessa in all the wrong places.

But, as things went in the town of Forks, the front door was unlocked. I let myself in and looked around the ground floor of the house, but Bella must have been upstairs. When I went in her room and saw her scrunched up under her duvet my heart panged – I was causing her this. It wasn't fair. I wasn't being fair.

"Bella," I said gently, putting my hand on her shoulder as I sat on the mattress. She was facing away from me.

"Mmm."

"Wake up beautiful," I whispered, leaning toward her to touch her ear with my nose. Bad idea.

"What?" she said in a clearer voice, obviously snapping out of a dream, and sitting up so sharply that my face was caught in the crossfire.

"Ung," I moaned, clutching my nose and falling back off the bed. Ouch. The floor was harder than usual this morning.

"Shit! Edward! What are you doing here? Are you alright? Crap, crap, crap! Your nose! What happened?!" She obviously hadn't gotten close enough to get a whiff yet. But I was surprised she couldn't smell the blood that must be on her hair.

"I'm okay," I said, sounding weird because I was holding my nose in the air now. I sat up and onto the edge of the mattress. "I just got in the way, that's all," I said carefully.

Bella realised what had happened. Damn it, she was always quicker than I thought! Now she was going to feel guilty. I deserved a mutated nose, and more, I reminded myself. No point in cleaning it up because she'll probably just punch me again in a minute.

"Let me get you a towel or some ice or something," she said, hopping off the bed. "I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry Edward! I'm such an idiot!" She headed for the door but I caught her wrist and pulled her back.

"I know you're probably about to hurl but I need you to hear something before you try and make me feel better. You're probably going to want to kick me in the face when I've finished."

"What are you talking about?"

I motioned for her to sit down. I tried to get up, because pacing helps me think, but she stopped me. "You're bleeding. Stay still."

"Why aren't you halfway to fainting? You hate blood."

She raised one eyebrow like I was missing something obvious. "I hate the smell of blood. Yours smells fine. Nice, even. Like… like chocolate cherries." She grinned. "If I were a vampire I would have taken you down so fast your head would spin."

"Lucky me," I muttered, annoyed at myself for getting sidetracked.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

She got up again. "Let me get you some ice." I tried to grab her back but she was too quick. Or maybe my arms weren't moving as fast as I wanted them to. Ugh, my head… damned headache. Spinning. Ugh... nausea...

When she returned with some ice cubes wrapped in a tea towel, I had sorted out what I wanted to say. And stabilised my centre of gravity

"Sit," I ordered, determined to stay focused past the throbbing in my temples and the crusty blood on my lips. Bella sat but forced the ice onto my nose. This made it harder to talk – but I allowed it. The cold was really very nice.

"I have something to tell you," I began. She looked concerned. "And I need you to listen until I've finished if you can. But I'll understand if you want to hit me in the nose again."

She started to laugh but I held up a hand to stop her. She looked concerned. I took a deep breath and forced myself to talk.

"Vanessa has been staying at my house for the past few days. She asked me not to tell anyone because she wasn't sure whether she was going to come back or not. It was wrong and I'm an asshole and I'm so sorry it's not even possible for me to be sorrier."

Bella's lips pursed so tightly that they were fading to white, blending with her skin so she looked crazed. But she didn't say anything.

"She came over on Wednesday night and wanted to talk. Esme and Carlisle weren't home – they don't know anything about this, by the way." I think. "She was crying about something so I let her in and she talked and talked and talked and when she stopped it was two in the morning. She asked to stay the night. She said she would call you and Charlie, and like an idiot I believed her.

"The next morning she said she was catching the bus into school because she wanted to think so I didn't give her a ride. I only knew she'd been lying when you asked me if I'd seen her. I should have told you where she was but she obviously had a reason for lying… so I waited until I got home. She was still there.

"She told me about what happened before she came here. About how she felt about you and Charlie and how she got in with the wrong people and bad things happened and she wanted to start fresh.

"'Start here,' I told her. But she wanted to start somewhere else.

"I didn't know what to do. There were so many times when I was about to say something-"

"But you didn't!" she finally snapped. I lowered the ice from my face. She deserved a clear shot if she wanted it. "You let me and Charlie worry the hell out of ourselves. I've barely slept! Charlie's been out searching for her every day! You couldn't even let us know that she was okay? That she hadn't been run over and dumped in a ditch the other side of Seattle? You let her stay in your house?"

"I'm sorry," I felt weak, sounded weak. I was an idiot. Couldn't I have told Bella that Vanessa was at least okay?

"This isn't your fault," she snapped. "It's Vanessa's."

"But-"

"Are you defending her?"

"No, I just don't want you to blame her for me being an idiot."

"Don't worry, I'm mad as hell at you too. But this is all her fault – it wasn't fair for her to do that to you. You still should have said something, though."

"Do you want me to go?"

She got up and paced twice across the carpet. She'd never looked to beautifully enraged before. I wanted to hit myself – stop admiring her and concentrate on how stupid you are. Lose her and you've lost another perfect woman.

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Yes." She wasn't answering to her name – she was answering my question.

I got up and passed her so closely that I could feel the heat from her arm sear me.

"Wait," she said when I got to the door. "Is Vanessa coming back?"

I honestly didn't know. "Maybe."

"Hmph." She kept pacing, and didn't look at me again. I left without another word.

- - -

"If you don't go back to Bella and Charlie's place, then I'll take you there by force."

I was home again, in my bedroom, arguing in whispers with my most unwelcome roommate. She was sitting cross-legged on my bed, like a child, and I was standing over her with a furious twist to my features. I could scare the pants off a mafia member with this face, I knew. So why wasn't she cringing? She must have seen some scary people to stare me down without a flinch.

"I'll go back."

That was too damn easy.

"What?"

"I've avoided it all long enough. It's time to go back."

"Oh, well. Good. Get your stuff."

She shrugged her shoulders, making her jacket poof up. "Got everything."

"We're leaving. Now."

"Okay."

She was aggravating me more and more as her nonchalance increased. I hoped she wouldn't say anything else.

We got down the stairs and were opening the front door when Carlisle appeared.

"Hey Carlisle," Vanessa said, like she'd fully expected him to be standing there. "I'm going back now."

"Good girl. Talk it out, won't you? Let Bella in. She's a good listener."

My jaw hit the floor. They were talking like old friends – Carlisle, you mother fu–

"So I've heard." Vanessa grinned. "Edward's not bad either."

"So I've heard." Carlisle smiled at me now. My jaw was still on the floor, so I picked it up and ruffled my indignant feathers.

"Leaving," I snapped at Vanessa. She raised her eyebrows but walked out without comment. "You knew?" I directed at my father.

"How could I not? She plays music like a damn rock concert in your bedroom."

I was still seething when I climbed in my Volvo.

Ohhhkay. Don't kill me.

Chapter 10 Question:

If you could live a year in any book you wanted, which would it be? (Doesn't have to be Twilight-related.)