Decode
By: KellyCRocker59
Chapter Ten
Well here's the update! I really hope it doesn't skip around too much; I know it's been a prolonged wait, but I hope it is worth it :)
Feedback is much appreciated!
So maybe Kate was right. Holden felt his stomach sinking even more as he stood there with her in senior hall, and wondered if it was too late to go home and change clothes. Of course it was; he lived twenty miles away, and school started in about three minutes. Three minutes until the reputation he had amassed throughout high school would be obliterated.
"We need to get outside and start working on the senior float." Kate replied, voice sounding as though he were underwater, thoughts obstructing his ability to think. He nodded absentmindedly, and Kate grabbed his hand, guiding him down the hall and out the double doors that led to the football field.
As they walked out onto the field, Holden spotted Sean and Harrison walking into the school at the other side, backs turned to them. Now, more than ever, he wanted to have the other boy with him. Or maybe that would just make things worse. He was supposed to be proud of this; he was Hester Prynne, not Bella Swan. Lord, why did he just compare himself to two girls?
They began work on the float, Kate with effort, Holden with little care. Julia arrived within the hour, as well as several other kids that weren't involved in much else on Homecoming. Julia took one look at him and her jaw went slack, body checking him once, twice, and then finally taking a few more steps forward.
"What is wrong with you?" She questioned in his ear, a cautious velocity to her words. "I had no idea you were…"
"Yeah, that was kind of what I hoped. Well, until today." He replied, trying to keep himself calm.
"You…you and…together?" Julia asked, gripping his shoulders now, as though he even had the option to retreat. Holden nodded, unable to summon the words to relate his thoughts.
"How long?" She asked now.
"Would you guys stop gossiping? We need to get this done!" Kate hollered from the top of the float. Her motives were clear when Holden turned around; the other kids were watching them, analyzing the conversation as much as they were Holden's clothing. They were just a step above burnouts though, so Holden held them with little regard. Regardless, he turned back toward the float and began helping Kate wrap chicken wire around a few posts.
Reed came outside with two boxes of pizza around noon, signaling the dwindling time left for work. So far, the group had managed to construct a tribal scene with a hut and bows and arrows around; the opposing team's mascot for the football game was the eagle, so they thought they were clever with their layout.
"Student council bought pizza for you; good job on the float, by the way. You better get the seniors first place." He said with a disarming smile.
Holden, who had been bent over behind the float attempting to fasten chicken wire, stood at that moment, and Reed's smile flinched, if only briefly, at the sight.
"Nice jersey, Holden." He said, words coated in sarcasm; Holden flinched at the edge, realizing the sensation of being on the receiving end of the boy's bad side.
"Thanks." He replied nonetheless, attempting earnestness but settling on meekness. Reed turned casually left, headed to the student parking lot to work on the student council float.
It was then that everyone sat down to enjoy the pizza; however, Holden was interrupted by the approaching figure of Sean, Harrison beside him.
"How's it going?" Sean asked casually, Harrison walking over to take a seat beside Julia, who flashed him a smile.
"I'll just say I'm glad that I'm out here with a small group of people."
Sean chuckled. "Having doubts?"
"Yeah; a lot, actually." He replied. Sean then began to walk over to the bleachers, not bothering to offer a reason.
"Where are you going?" Holden called.
"Just come on; I think they can handle everything for a bit without you."
Holden turned, grabbing a plate and two slices of pizza before hurrying after the jock.
"Are you coming to the game tonight?" Sean asked. They had found a seat at the top of the bleachers, overlooking all of the float projects to their left.
"Yeah, I was planning on it. I don't think I'm gonna wear this, although it is really comfortable."
Sean's hand ran along his arm then, a brief touch that raised the hair on Holden's neck.
"I feel bad for this, you know."
"Why? Jocks are a lot less accepting then my friends." Holden replied, catching Sean's eye as he took a bite of his second slice of pizza, having already devoured the first.
"So Julia and Kate are fine with this?"
"Well, I wouldn't say fine; both of them think it was a terrible idea. Kate said as much, but I could read it in Julia's tone."
Sean shrugged then, turning to squint at the field, pondering thoughts that Holden couldn't imagine. "I see it as this is our one life, and dammit if I'm going to let anyone else live it for me. We deserve to be happy."
"Yeah, but this could be more trouble than it's worth." Holden replied, finishing the pizza in his hand.
"Not possible; this is priceless. I mean, you are at least." Sean said, as though the weight of his words were equivalent to a feather and not a dumpster load of stones.
"Why do you do that?" Holden questioned.
"What?"
"Why do you act all sensitive and perfect and stuff? It makes me like you way too much."
Sean laughed and turned. Holden wondered if anyone could spot them, but resigned himself to 'screw it' and allowed the other boy to kiss him gently, hand grazing his cheek before their lips parted.
"I need to get back inside; I'll see you tonight, after the game?" He asked.
Holden nodded, words struggling to form on his lips.
The time inevitably came for the parade, and that was when Holden really felt his heart beating in his ear drums. They all mounted the wheeled station, attached to a truck, and rode it toward their spot in the line-up. The town was small, so the extent of twenty spots in the parade seemed aptly epic for its people. As such, everyone was gathered along the streets, school dismissed for students to watch as well.
During the period of waiting, Holden was cornered on the side of the float by both girls.
"Holden, why did you not feel the need to tell me you were gay?" Julia asked quietly, seating herself beside him against the sturdy tee-pee at the center of the float.
"I didn't think it really mattered." He replied.
"Whether or not it should matter isn't the point, Holden, because it does." Kate fired back, sitting on his other side.
"And how long have you guys been together?" Julia asked.
"I don't know; a month or two I think."
"And you're making this public already?" She questioned.
"Yeah, it seems really rushed to me too, Julia." Kate answered.
"We shouldn't have to hide our relationship." Holden replied.
"Again, whether or not you should doesn't matter; you don't really have a choice in Mid-West America." Kate said.
"Well it's too late now, regardless." Julia said. "You guys are gonna have to stick together. That just sucks for him; there are some really homophobic jocks on the football team."
Holden nodded, more afraid for Sean than he had been. Yeah, Sean was strong and everything, but one wasn't much of a match for three, four, or five others.
"We just care about you, Holden; I really wish you had talked to me before you had decided to do this." Kate said. She may have been attempting to ease his worries, but it hadn't helped. This damn jersey now seemed like the biggest mistake in high school history.
"Are you queer, dude?"
Holden turned, and saw one of the guys that had been working on the float with them standing over the trio. He had a piercing in both ears as well as his lip, and was dressed in a school hoody paired with too-tight jeans.
"Go away, Martin." Kate ordered, immediately taking on her ice queen persona that took effect around every straight boy.
"I was just curious; I mean, I was just gonna tell you to watch out at school. People thought I was queer for a long time, and I got all sorts of crap for it."
"Oh…alright, thanks." Holden replied with hesitance, unsure whether or not Martin's intentions were pure or tainted.
But the boy nodded. "Just trying to do you a solid, man."
"I appreciate it." Holden answered with a smile, and the boy returned to his seat with his two friends at the other end of the float.
"Things are really going to change, aren't they?" Holden asked.
Kate nodded, and he felt Julia grab his hand. His throat tightened as the gravity of his actions hit him with their full force.
"We'll be here, though. Don't worry, Holden."
The parade passed without much of a hassle, and Holden found himself back at his house, changing into his pep club shirt for the game. Kate had promised to show up for moral support; Julia showing up to continue what she said was their new tradition. Holden attempted to rid his mind of the memories of the parade, the ones of the people looking at his waving figure in shock and beginning to whisper. He had to believe that they didn't matter; a few more months and high school would be over. They wouldn't matter anymore.
The memories, with fears attached like grenades, came with him to the game. While he was no longer sporting the jersey, he could just see the second glances he was garnering. The three of them settled in their seats in the student section, Holden now prepared to marginally understand what was going on. The game began, and he put to rest his worries as he failed to catch any mention of him in the conversations around him. One quarter passed, the home team ahead, and Holden was on his feet with Julia and Kate, cheering.
Then, half-time came. With it came a time for actual conversation, which Holden was dreading. Not from Kate and Julia, who had yet to ask him anything about his impulsive decision, but instead of anyone around him. Sure enough, Reed came walking up, a bottle of soda in hand.
"Hey, Reed." Julia greeted. Reed stopped, turning toward the three where they now sat.
"Hey, guys; good game, isn't it?"
They all nodded, and Reed just stood there. Holden then realized there was an open spot beside them.
"Do you wanna sit with us?" He offered.
Reed nodded, and Holden thought briefly that there was no longer any ill will held toward him. It had always been Sean though, hadn't it?
"Hey faggot!"
Holden turned, heat rising in his face as he realized that the words were headed in his direction. Heading across the bleachers toward him with purpose was David Acrum, a large boy who had been kicked off the football team due to the failing of multiple drug tests.
"Yeah, you!" He said, and Holden stood, wondering if he could outrun the other boy to his car.
"Holden, sit down." Kate whispered urgently, but Holden couldn't find the will in his legs to oblige.
"What's a queer like you doing at a football game? Checking out all the dudes?"
"I just want to watch the game, David." Holden replied calmly, although he knew his face was red.
"You faggots make me sick!"
And before Holden could move, he was shoved hard, falling down the bleachers and onto the pavement. His bottom half managed to receive the majority of the impact, his head avoiding injury. It still hurt like hell, and he just sat there, stunned. But David was approaching, ready for a fight.
Then, Reed was between them.
"Hey douche bag, why don't you go sit down?" He said.
"What, you his boyfriend?" David spat.
"I'm just a guy who can't stand meatheads like you who don't know what the hell they're doing. You need to go sit down now, or I'm gonna knock you out."
"I could drop you in a second." David sneered, looking incredibly ugly in that moment.
"You wanna test me? I'll call the cops on you; let's see you try to cover up that cocaine on your hands."
David flinched, not replying. Then, he was turning, walking back to a seat. Julia and Kate were on their feet within seconds, hurrying down the steps to Holden. He hadn't realized it, but everyone was watching him then, all of them judging in some way.
"We should probably get you out of here." Julia said, and Kate nodded. They lifted him up, and he brushed himself off, a sharp pain searing briefly through his lower half.
"Thanks, Reed." Holden said, and Reed turned toward him.
"No problem, Holden. We are friends, after all."
Holden smiled, reciprocating the one the other boy was offering before he allowed the two girls to lead him toward the parking lot.
Sean's fingers ran along Holden's arms, grazing the flesh and moving down to the hem of his shirt.
"I feel like shit, you know. I should've known something like this would happen."
Holden shook his head, leaning back onto the soft mattress beneath him. Sean's house was abandoned except for the two of them, something that both boys were content with. "Don't beat yourself up; I'm sure someone's going to anyway."
"Seriously, Holden; I can't let you out of my sight at school anymore."
"Well that's kind of dramatic; you're going to have to, since we don't have all the same classes. I can take care of myself too; maybe not as well as you could, but I can get the job done. No one's going to do anything too crazy at school, anyway."
Sean sighed, and he laid down beside Holden, his arms wrapping around the boy's torso and pulling him close.
"Ouch!"
"Shit, I'm sorry." Sean snapped, and Holden chuckled.
"I'm just kidding; I'm not really that sore anymore."
Sean narrowed his eyebrows in frustration, but leaned in, kissing the other boy softly. Holden clung to the larger boy, who rolled over so that he was on top of him, pinning the other to the bed. Then, Holden's mind was wandering, and his fingers were pulling at the hem of Sean's shirt, which clung dryly to his torso from absorbed sweat. Sean allowed the shirt to be lifted along his back and over his head, their lips parting briefly so the garment could be fully shed.
When Sean's lips returned, they were much more desperate, searching for something that Holden's lips couldn't deliver. So Sean's hands came to Holden's shirt, pulling with urgency. Holden arched his back as Sean's callused fingers grazed his bare skin, the shirt pulled over his head.
"You wanna…do this?" Sean asked, lips pulling back so that he could look into Holden's eyes. They laid there, Sean's hands on Holden's bare skin and feeling welcome, Holden's finger scraping bluntly along Sean's back, attempting to memorize every muscle. And so Holden nodded, abandoning inhibitions for desires for the first time in his life.
Sean's lips found his again, now more assured and no longer restrained, traveling along his body. Holden groaned, fingers burying in Sean's hair as he allowed himself to be taken under by the boy whose very being was about to become intertwined with his.