A/N Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews! I tried to reply to as many as I could. (I usually do it early in the morning after I've just woken up - which is bad because I sometimes forget if I had replied to someone already or not ;)) Anyway, reviews make me very very happy and I thank you all for your support!
Day 13 - DENIAL
The letter drops to the floor, lies at her feet now. She can no longer read the words in it. They are blurred by her tears. She could have crumpled it, thrown it away, burn it. But the shock is too deep. She is paralysed by grief, anger; feels helpless and lost, so alone. Her eyes hurt so much and the tears won't stop. She wipes them away but new ones fall down her cheeks immediately. Her throat is dry from crying out loud, swallowing is painful. Someone must have heard her shouting and yet no one has come to see if she is alright. She is so alone.
Her shoulders slump and she wants to be very small, invisible, disappear from this room. Why is no one coming to look after her? More tears fall. She closes her eyes, covers her face with her hands. Ugly sobs shake her body. She cannot stop it and she does not want it to stop. It hurts, everything hurts and she needs it to be painful, to feel the loss she has suffered physically.
-x-x-x-
He stands outside her door, his back to it. No one is allowed to go inside. He keeps them all away from her. Of course they have heard her outcry, of course they are all worried. But he knows that she has to be alone for a while, would not want anyone to see her in such a state. He even dismisses Mrs Patmore and Anna. The young lady's maid understands him, the cook does not. She stands there glaring at him, demanding to be let inside, comfort her friend. He stays strong, protective, a barrier.
Five minutes pass, fifteen, twenty. He can hear the sobs, muffled by the wooden door. She is still crying and it hurts that he cannot be at her side right now. He could simply slip inside, close and lock the door behind him. But he is not sure she wants him in there. Five more minutes pass. The sobbing has stopped, Mrs Patmore is busy in the kitchen. The maids, and whoever else still lingers around downstairs, are nowhere to be seen. Carefully he opens the door and enters the room. The key is in the lock and it clicks when he turns it around.
-x-x-x-
She can feel his presence. The floor vibrates when he approaches her. Then there is a gentle touch on her shoulder, a warm hand, a thumb caressing her neck. She still hold her head, still wants to be far away from this place. At least she is no longer alone now. He will help her, protect her, make things better. Charles turns her around in her swivel chair and she lets him, does not fight back. She is too exhausted for that. He kneels down in front of her, touches her knee, then takes away her hands, uncovers her red, sad face.
"Elsie, my love." His voice is so soft, so lovingly, a gentle caress. Tears well up in her eyes once more but this time she can share them with him. He cradles her head on his shoulder, helps her stand up. The warm embrace feels like coming home. She is no longer alone. He cries with her, rubs her back soothingly, whispers comforting words.
"They must be wrong. She can't have left me." Her voice fails her, the sobbing starts again. "I can't be alone."
"You're not alone. I'm here." He kisses the top of her head, holds her tight. "We all have to go one day. She's in a better place and she'll look down at us from her cloud."
She wraps her arms around his middle, wants to be as close to him as possible. How did she ever manage to go through the crises in her life without him? He cannot bring her sister back but he has brought her back. Elsie's heart does not hurt so much anymore, the redness around her eyes will disappear soon. Slowly she loosens the embrace, looks up at him, sees the tears glistening on his cheeks. "I love you." She is on her toes, her lips touch his and they share a tender kiss. "I love you too."
TBC (tomorrow T would be appropriate me thinks ;)) thank you for reading!