The 10th chapter!
Many thanks to WildImaginationGirl21.
Mayzie: Wait wait wait! Before we start the chapter, I'd like to speak to that "Stacy" girl.
Me: Uh...
Mayzie: First off, I did NOT sleep with him. We just had a little fun, that's all. But we did not go all the way.
Cat: Pops in. Whispers. Third base. I didn't want to push her. She's just a taaaad touchy when it comes to things like that.
Mayzie:Nods.
Cat: And for the question of McFirth... geez, I hope he doesn't come back. I don't want another black eye...
Me: Well, he might... he'd be heavily sedated, but he might. Or maybe he'll be drunk... Starts thinking.
Cat: Psssst... Em! We've got to start.
Me:Mumbling to myself. Maybe we could get the Bird Girls involved...
Cat:Shakes his head and turns to the readers. Enjoy the chapter. Thank you ever so much to WildImaginationGirl21. Tips his Hat to her. This blooper was... rather interesting...
Between takes
Wickersham 1: Come on kid. You want to be cool, don't ya?
JoJo: Well, yeah, but-
Wickersham 2: But nothin'. If you hang out with us, you're cool.
Wickersham 3: And if you want to hang out with us, you gotta do this.
JoJo: But... but he's my Think. I can't do that to my Think...
Wickersham 1: Yeah, but think of all the things that he did to you...
Wickersham 2: Military school
Wickersham 3: Nearly dying.
Wickersham 1: It would really just be some good, healthy, payback.
Wickersham 2 and 3: Laugh menacingly.
Wickersham 1: So what do you say kid? Are you in... or out?
JoJo: Thinks this over. ... I'm in.
Between takes again.
Wickersham 1: Right. So we've all got the plan?
JoJo: I still don't know how you're gonna pull this off.
Wickersham 2: You mean how we're gonna pull this off.
Wickersham 1: It's very simple JoJo. We- Gestures to himself and Wickersham 3. -are going to distract him. He- Points to Wickersham 2. -is going to keep a lookout for Roxy
Wickersham 2: And YOU- Jabs JoJo in the stomach. Are going to steal Cat's Hat.
JoJo: But-
Wickersham 3: What? Are you backing out? To chicken to go steal it?
JoJo: But he guards that thing with his LIFE!
Wickersham 1: Don't worry, we'll call an ambulance.
JoJo: But I already got in HUGE trouble for the laughing gas!
Wickersham 2: They just don't know what good humor is.
Director: Places!
Wickersham 3: Great. We've run out of time.
Wickersham 1: Alright. Next break, we're doing this. Right JoJo?
JoJo: Sighs. Right...
Between takes for a third time.
Wickersham 1: Alright, you- points to Wickersham 2. Be on the look out for Roxy.
Wickersham 2: Will do.
Wickersham 1: And you- Points to JoJo. Get your ladder shoes and be ready.
JoJo: Nods and runs off.
Wickersham 3: Here he comes!
Cat: Walks up to the group. Hey Wicks, have you seen Roxy?
Wickersham 1: ... why...?
JoJo: Sneaks up behind the Cat, a little bit taller than him.
Cat: I know that she has connections with the Sour Kangaroo, and I was going to see if she could maybe get SK to let us pull more pranks.
Wickersham 3: So... you're all up for pranks?
JoJo: Reaches for the Hat.
Cat: Heck yeah! All in good fun of course. We don't want anyone to get hurt.
Wickersham 1: Oh of course not!
Wickersham 3: Well, we're actually just waiting for the outcome of a prank that we're pulling.
JoJo: Takes the Hat off of his head, and replaces it with his cap. Hops out of the shoes, and takes off running.
Cat: Hold that thought... I sense a disturbance in the Force.
Director: Places! Looks to the Cat. Come on Cat. Stop fooling around. Get your Hat and get going.
Cat: A bit pale. W-What do you mean? My Hat is where it always is. Reaches up to pat it. On my... Realizes it isn't there.
Director: Realizes what's going on. WICKERSHAMS!
Wickershams 1+3: Run off, laughing.
Director: Cat, we don't have time to find it now. We'll look after this take, alright?
Cat: Nods silently, the energy sucked out of him.
Beginning of the show
JoJo: Walks onto the stage, and pass the spot where the Hat is supposed to be. ... uh...
Director: Hissed whisper. IMPROVISE!
JoJo: Tries to Think of a new Hat.
Cat: Hopeful. Come on kid... you can do it...
JoJo: Looks to the Cat. Guilt slowly fills him up. I... I... I can't do it. Runs offstage.
Director: JoJo!
Cat: ... let me talk to him.
Director: Are you sure?
Cat: Yeah.
Director: Take 10 everyone.
During the Take 10.
JoJo: Locks himself in the bathroom. Oh why'd I ever do that stupid little prank?
Cat: Hey kid, open up.
JoJo: No! Why do you care about the door, you can just pop in here.
Cat: Er... not exactly. You see, now that I don't have the Hat, I can't do all of the magical things that I could do before.
JoJo: ...
Cat: So are you going to let me in, or what?
JoJo: Unlocks the door. Opens it and hugs the Cat.
Cat: A little surprised, but hugs back. Kid, what's wrong.
JoJo: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...
Cat: Kid, kid, kid... Kneels down so they're eye to eye. What on Earth are you talking about?
JoJo: Gasping for breath. You... the Hat... the Wickershams... Hugs him again. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...
Cat: Putting everything together. Oh JoJo... really?
JoJo: I didn't know what to say!
Cat: No sounds pretty good to me.
JoJo: The Wickershams have it... I don't know what they did with it though.
Cat: It's ok, cause I have a full proof way of finding it.
JoJo: You do?
Cat: Yep! It's more scientific! Calculatus Eliminatus.
JoJo: Calculatus what?
Cat: Calculatus Eliminatus. I studied it at Cat Tech. Stands and grabs his hand, pulling him Come on! We've got to get back to rehearsal!
After the director deduced that the show could not go on without the Cat finding his Hat.
Director: Alright Cat, what's your plan for finding the Hat?
Cat: Calculatus Eliminatus.
Director: ... come again?
Cat: Calculatus Eliminatus. It's very simple.
Music starts up in the background, causing the Director to jump.
Director: Good Lordie I'm never going to get used to that.
Cat: Singing. When you've mislaid a certain something,
Keep your cool, and don't get hot.
Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got.
Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot!
The way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not.
Speaking. It isn't here. Gestures to a painting. Takes out a marker. I'll mark that "X". Marks it. It isn't there. Gestures to a camera. I'll mark that "Y" Does so. It isn't underneath the apple, mark the apple "HKI".
Director: Looks in his wallet. It isn't in my wallet.
Cat: No?
JoJo: And it isn't on my knee!
Cat: Hmm. Mark the wallet "K300", mark the knee, "5-7B"
Singing. We just jot down all the places that it isn't, and gee wiz
Very shortly we will locate where the missing object is.
The director, JoJo, and everyone who is around starts tearing up the set (some literally) trying to find the Hat.
Random Jungle Animal: Calls out. It isn't here!
Cat: Calls to him. "8-42J"!
Random Who: It isn't there! Points to a cooler.
Cat: "F6-07"! You can mark the piano "22,000 decimal point, 11"
JoJo: Does so.
Gertrude: It isn't in the icebox
Cat: That's strange...
Horton: It's not on the TV!
Cat: Hmm... Now just overseeing everything. Icebox "0-2-4 1/2", TV "1,000,003"
Singing. When you've mislaid a certain something
Keep your cool, don't go to pot.
All: Join in singing. Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got!
Everyone but Cat: Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot!
Cat: The way to find a missing something is to-
All: Join in. Find, out, where, it's NOT!
Director: Takes a look around at the set. Jawdrop. Look at this place... It's a wreck!
Cat: And my Hat is still missing, the problem isn't solved yet.
Director: Do you know who took the Hat, Cat?
Cat: I know that the Wickershams were involved.
Director: Did JoJo have anything to do with it? I know he's the one that planted the laughing gas last time.
Cat: JoJo? Glances to JoJo.
JoJo: Silently pleads.
Cat: Looks back to the Director. He would never do something this stupid. He's my friend.
Director: Well... if you say he didn't...
JoJo: Maybe we should split up and look for it.
Everyone nods and does so. JoJo passes the Cat, who mouths to him, "You so owe me for that."
While everyone splits up.
Gertrude: Follows the Wickershams.
Wickersham 1: Oh man! This is turning out better than I thought!
Wickersham 2: Yeah, now we're getting off of work too!
Wickersham 3: Could this GET any better?
Wickersham 2: So what did you two do with the Hat?
Wickersham 1: I've got it right here. Takes it out. I don't see what's so special about it. It's just a Hat.
Gertrude: JUST a Hat? Wickershams drop everything and turn towards Gertrude. If it was "just a Hat", do you think that everyone would be in a frenzy trying to find it? If it was "just a Hat", do you think that the Cat would be getting weaker? Haven't you noticed he's been paler, and that he was off, just a little in the musical number? He can't live without that thing! He was born with it! It's way more than "just a Hat".
Wickershams: Silent.
Gertrude: Takes the Hat from Wickersham 1. You three aughta be ashamed of yourself! Taking the very being of our narrator, and roping poor JoJo into it!
Wickersham 1: Hey! That was his own choice! He didn't have to!
Gertrude: Well it's not like you gave him another option. Either do the prank and be cool, or don't and be a chicken and a social outcast. The options weren't very fair! Glares them all down. I'm keeping my eye on you, to see if you try any funny business... Glares at them all semi-meanly before walking away.
Wickersham 3: ... what just happened?
Wickersham 1: ... we were intimidated by a girl.
Wickersham 2: ... we're losing it.
All three nod in agreement.
In another part of the set.
Cat: Searching through the hat box in the costume room, throwing the hats that aren't his over his shoulder. Newsboy, fedora, beret, sombero- Coughs rather painfully. Ahem... ow. Goes back to searching. Ball cap, Santa hat, visor, bowler hat- Is cut off again by the cough.
JoJo: Watching on, a bit nervous. Are you sure you're alright?
Cat: Yeah... I'm fine. Goes back to searching.
JoJo: You don't sound fine.
Cat: Sarcastically. Thank you JoJo. You're making me feel so much better.
JoJo: Sorry.
Cat: No... it's my fault. I don't know why, but I'm not myself when I don't have my Hat. Sticks his head out of the box of hats. Maybe it's because I'm technically called a "Cat in a Hat", and if I don't have that, I am technically not myself. I am just an unusually tall Cat. Shrugs and goes back to the box. Helmet, jester's hat, donkey head-
Gertrude: Comes running into the room. Cat!
Cat: Hits his head on the top of the box. OW! Gets his head out of the box, rubbing the back of it. Yeah Gertie?
Gertrude: Holds out the Hat. Here. I think you lost this.
Cat: Instantly brightens. My Hat! Takes it from her and puts it on. He immediately becomes his old self again. Runs over to Gertie and picks her up with a hug, twirling her around. Oh thank you thank you thank you! Kisses her quickly.
Gertrude: Eyes wide open in shock.
Cat: Runs out of the room with a little click of his heels. I'M BACK BABY!
Gertrude: Blushes and shakes her head. Oh Cat...
Yay! Happy ending!
Many thanks to WildImaginationGirl21 for giving me this blooper idea, and for being the first to have a blooper be a whole chapter long! Many many MANY thanks to her!
Again people, I'll try and get chapters posted ASAP... what ever that means. Probably, "Act Swiftly Awesome Pachyderm" And... THE POLLS ARE CLOSED!
The winner, by 50% of the votes is... A REVIEWERS CHAPTER!
So, next chapter, all of my wonderful readers will get to mean the Seussical cast and/or character of your choice! Please leave preferences in the reviews, and if you don't want to, that's fine with me. But please say if you do or not. It makes everything a lot easier.
Although the poll is closed, I'm gonna still leave it open, in case anyone wants to suggest a chapter. We'll put it to a vote! PM or leave a review if you have a chapter idea.
Cat: Hugging his Hat. Oh thank GOODNESS that Gertrude found you!
Me:Smiling. Faces the readers. The adventures were over. The sky became... pink. And then guess what happened... well... what do you Think?
If I owned Seussical, my life would be a whole lot more entertaining.
I also do not own the song "Calculatus Eliminatus". If anyone can name where I got the song, I will give them a online cookie or Pop Tart.
... I also don't own Pop Tarts.
Hats, Cats, and Seuss forever,
Em Cabot.