Cheers to all those who reviewed :) apologies for any annoying errors but thought I'd take advantage of a working Internet connection...
Rachel's preparation for that evening's excursion had been meticulously thorough. She ran through her checklist one last time, warm clothes, picnic blanket, flasks of hot chocolate, star shaped cookies, star themed play list, star chart application on her phone, red torch and 2 pairs of binoculars. Her dads brief flirtation with stargazing was to thank for the torch and binoculars. Their interest in stargazing had waned before agreement on a suitable telescope could be reached however the binoculars had sufficient magnification for amateurs like her and Quinn. She was ready; the car had been pre-loaded to avoid arousing her dads' suspicions. It was a bit early to be heading off but she could always wait in her car, any more bouncing about excitedly downstairs in the kitchen and her Dads would think her studying story suspect. Rachel said goodbye to her fathers with a conspicuous pile of school files and books in hand as she headed out to her car.
To Rachel's surprise Quinn was quickly out of her house and hurrying down the path to meet her despite her being over half an hour early. At least she thought it was Quinn but a matching hat and scarf ensemble with the scarf wrapped around her face many times meant Rachel only had the eyes to go on. Quinn unwrapped herself once in the car and shot Rachel an excited grin.
"All ready for an outdoors adventure in the dark. I hope this is deemed appropriate attire" Quinn indicated her thick coat, jeans and trainers, "So any clues to the nature of tonight's activity?"
"I'll let you figure it out from this" Rachel replied pressing play on her stars play list.
Two tracks in and Quinn was grinning.
"Really Rachel? We're going UFO spotting?" Quinn asked incredulously. Well, life on mars and starman led you to that conclusion unless you thought a trip into space a viable option.
" No Quinn. I'm in the sane 66% of the population that doesn't believe in UFOs." Rachel responded before adding," Although I'm not sure what having that as your first choice says about you"
" That I'm open minded?" Quinn wasn't sure what she felt about Rachel's snort of laughter in response to this so she decided to move on. Monty Python's 'Galaxy' song began to play following on from 'wishing on a star.'
"Star watching then" Quinn said " Looks like a good night for it. I've never really spent time looking at the stars. Do you know much about them?"
" I did a bit of stargazing with my Uncle John when I was younger but I'm an amateurish amateur at best - thankfully there's an app for it" grinned Rachel indicating her phone "First though we're heading for a spot that has minimal light pollution so we have maximum viewing pleasure"
" Well I'm prepared for the cold but not for the dark" replied Quinn.
" Don't worry, if necessary we can feel our way. I'll guide you" Rachel said earnestly. Quinn smirked, feeling her way in the dark guided by Rachel sounded fun but probably wasn't meant in the way her imagination was choosing to take it.
"So there's a chance I might get to see Ur" Quinn started
"I hope this isn't going to be some double entendre related to one of the planet names " Rachel interrupted hastily.
" I was going to say the sea of tranquillity on the moon oh ye of little faith " Quinn replied with an innocent look. Rachel seemed decidedly sceptical.
" So how did the running around the park hundreds of times go?" she asked
"Well I think there's a chance I'll finish on Saturday and before everyone's packed up and gone home - weather permitting as I don't fancy running in the rain" Quinn replied reflecting on her exciting Saturday.
"So why a half marathon?" asked Rachel in a tone suggesting she really wanted to ask 'are you mad?'
"Because I didn't think I could do a full one?" Quipped Quinn
"I meant, why choose a half marathon as a leisure activity, I'm sure there are other less time consuming and less painful things you can do " pondered Rachel.
"I wanted to challenge myself," Quinn paused thoughtfully and considered carefully why she had taken the half marathon on, "I like to have an end goal so preparing for a race seemed a good idea and actually it's just me against myself"
"You didn't want to return to cheerleading?" inquired Rachel – Quinn being Captain of the Cheerio's must say something about her athletic abilities as well as her often-demonstrated ability to intimidate practically anyone.
"No, not really. Cheerleading was an expectation thanks to my mum and big sister's experiences. Besides since my fall from grace there are too many members of that squad ready to stick the knife in and make my life miserable. It's ironic that at their politest my supposed ex-friends call me 'easy lay Fabray' when you can count my sexual encounters on one finger and yet would need to use powers of ten for theirs. I'm guilty only of stupidity and misplaced trust" Quinn tailed off wistfully – self-pity was not an attractive quality.
"One mistake doesn't define you." started Rachel
""Yeah but what an impact that one mistake had. I became homeless, experienced motherhood and caused my family to break up. That one mistake cost me my daughter, my father and most of the time it feels like my mother too."
I will not cry I will not cry Quinn chanted, trying to will away the tears hovering on the edge of her eyes. Rachel took her hand off the steering wheel to place it on Quinn's jean clad thigh.
"You're incredibly resilient Quinn. I envy you your strength of character," Rachel said sincerely glancing worriedly at Quinn.
Quinn laughed as she wiped away her tears - what was wrong with her?" Coming from you that's a real compliment "
Rachel looked puzzled.
"Rachel. You come into school, chin up and smiling, being pleasant to people who are consistently horrible to you and who try and put you down. That takes some doing," replied Quinn noting a shy look on Rachel's face.
"Maybe my experiences are all some sort of punishment for being such a bitch towards everyone but most especially you" Quinn mused before adding," I'm so sorry"
Rachel swallowed the lump in her throat, Quinn Fabray was apologising to her.
"I wouldn't wish any of what happened on you" Rachel said softly. Quinn placed her hand over Rachel's
"And that's what makes you such an amazing person" replied Quinn before adding," I don't deserve your friendship"
Rachel felt a wave of guilt crash over her but couldn't bring a confession to her lips - self interest or because she didn't want to hurt vulnerable Quinn?
" Quinn you so deserve to be happy and I'm honoured to count you as a friend" she said truthfully.
Quinn felt her heart squeeze, Rachel was just amazing. The journey continued with the pair holding hands as Quinn tried to bring her emotions under control and Rachel tried to shake off her feelings of guilt.
Rachel reluctantly withdrew her hand to allow her to park the car at the side of a dark road.
"Let's go and put my life into perspective by gazing at the infiniteness of the universe" said Quinn making a big effort to pull herself together. She offered Rachel a shaky smile in the dim light.
"Let's see if sea of tranquillity lives up to its billing" Rachel smiled back.
"As opposed to gazing at.. " Quinn didn't get to finish the sentence
'Quinn " said Rachel sharply.
They exited the car and Rachel unloaded two rucksacks from the backseat.
"I just need to do one thing before we start" stated Rachel putting the rucksacks by her feet. She then stepped into Quinn's personal space and wrapped her arms round her in a tight hug ignoring an inner voice telling her this was not her adhering to her plan. Quinn stiffened briefly in surprise before melting into the embrace. She felt like she wanted to stay in this position with Rachel holding her tightly forever.
Quinn was relieved when they finally found what Rachel considered the ideal spot with maximum potential for unobstructed gazing of the night sky. They'd stumbled over rough ground, tripped over tree roots and been grabbed at by thorny branches. Several possible vantage points had been carefully considered and then rejected by Rachel until their current location came up for approval. Here the horizon was suitably visible, the trees far enough away, the lights from human dwellings suitably distant and the ground even enough for them to be comfortable on. Rachel passed the torch to Quinn as she delved into the two rucksacks before spreading a picnic blanket on the grassy slope She unpacked the bags and then indicated for Quinn to sit on the blanket. It was eerily quiet – especially now the pair of them had stopped crashing about – and when Rachel extinguished the torch the darkness was all encompassing. Quinn could only hear the pair of them breathing, still out of breath from the unexpectedly steep climb not indicated by Rachel's map app (Rachel intended to feedback that contour lines where required for the next upgrade to said app.)
As her eyes adjusted to the dark Quinn allowed herself to be amazed by the sheer volume and brightness of the stars. It was an incredibly moving view. Rachel turned the torch back on and this time a red light was emitted that allowed them to see what they were doing but didn't prevent them from seeing the stars. She handed Quinn a pair of binoculars.
"Sea of tranquillity is North East ish on the moon surface I believe – let's start with that"
Quinn adjusted her binoculars and commented on the clarity of her view. She'd located several craters any of which could be the Sea of Tranquillity but the naming didn't really matter. Rachel was holding up her phone to the sky and trying to relate the names on her phone screen to the view through her binoculars with limited success. A Rachel Berry running commentary on satellites and the origin of different stars and planets names didn't disappoint. She was a highly informed 'amateurish amateur' as Quinn expected.
Rachel put her binoculars aside and reached for the flasks. She handed Quinn a mug of hot chocolate before sorting herself out a drink from a different flask
"Poisoned eh?" asked Quinn
"You'd probably think so if I gave you this one, it's the vegan version with soy milk"
"Well might as well start getting used to it" said Quinn taking the cup out of Rachel's hand and then trying a sip. She fought hard to stop herself from spitting it out.
Rachel passed her a star shaped cookie. It was delicious, just melting on her tongue. Quinn muttered her appreciation, this had become the current highpoint of the trip bar the hug by the car.
Quinn finished her drink then lay on the blanket munching cookies, looking up at the stars and soaking up the tranquil atmosphere. Rachel quickly finished her drink and lay down next to her. It was incredibly peaceful if a somewhat cold experience.
"Do you think there might be intelligent life out there?" asked Rachel
"Well there's very little here so I s'pose there's a good chance" replied Quinn nibbling on yet another cookie.
"Speak for yourself." Rachel responded with mock annoyance," but when you look at how many stars there are it seems hard to believe that only this planet sustains life"
Quinn sighed, "God moves in mysterious ways"
"I always thought that was a reference to his poor dancing abilities," commented Rachel causing Quinn to burst into laughter.
They lay in silence contemplating; God disco dancing in Rachel's case, her insignificance in the grand scale of things in Quinn's. Gathering all her courage together Quinn reached over to take hold of Rachel's hand. Only them not wearing gloves could have made the moment more perfect. Quinn's heart raced and she ached to pull Rachel into a hug. Rachel just wished she'd never taken up Mercedes challenge but instead had just befriended Quinn because it was the right thing to do. She couldn't ruin this with an ill-timed, ill-prepared confession. Besides, she just wanted to hold on to this oh-so-perfect moment for ever, her, Quinn and the vast expanse of the universe laid out in front of them. If this was a movie a shooting star should appear about now, but it wasn't and a shooting star didn't - it still felt like this was a significant moment in their budding friendship.
There's only so much being overawed by your insignificance in the grand scale of things that one can take so as the temperature continued to fall they reluctantly decided to curtail their star gazing activities. They repacked their bags and Rachel again led the way torch in one hand and phone in the other.
" I really enjoyed myself - thanks for inviting me" offered Quinn just before they set off on the return journey. Lying under the stars Rachel's hand in hers was definitely an activity she wished to repeat.
" I enjoyed it too" responded Rachel," Although next time I'll bring more cookies so that I actually consume more than one"
Quinn was unfazed by the implied criticism of her greed noticing instead the 'next time' remark and all it implied.
Once in the car the star mix began playing and this time Rachel was singing along with every track, yet still finding time to give a little background on each one. Quinn found herself just watching Rachel in the dim light and enjoying the amazing sound of her voice until
" You actually know all the words to calling 'occupants of interplanetary craft'? Asked Quinn in disbelief.
" I think you'll find that's," Rachel began to sing," interplanetary, most extraordinary craft"
"You make every song sound so amazing even when its actual lyrics are ridiculous" sighed fan girl Quinn overcome yet again with the strong urge to hug Rachel. Probably not a good idea if they were to arrive home in one piece. Rachel beamed at her.
"I think you might be my biggest fan Quinn - shall I sign a photo and t- shirt for you?"
"I'd rather have a signed cd of every song you've ever sang" said Quinn sincerely before hastily adding," On reflection please not My Headband or Only Child "
"Don't worry, no recordings of either of those two songs have ever been made - although maybe I should look into doing a mash up of them?" Rachel looked thoughtful. It would be a bit of a challenge to marry those two different ideas together - perhaps a rewrite as 'my only child's headband' was needed?
"As your biggest fan - please don't" smiled Quinn, "The world isn't, and won't ever be, ready for that"
Before Rachel could decide on a suitable response 'Rocket man' came through the speakers and the pair began singing along at the top of their voices, occasionally grinning at each other. Quinn wished she'd taken the trouble to get to know Rachel earlier then she could have been this happy for longer. Rachel sang along trying drown out the voice in her head chanting 'you need to tell her. you need to tell her now.'
Quinn felt sad as Rachel parked her car by the kerbside in front of Quinn's house as it signified the end of what had been an enjoyable and fun excursion. Rachel turned the music down to a muted level wondering whether now really was a good time to confess all. She and Quinn smiled awkwardly at each other scanning each others faces. Rachel licked her lips nervously and Quinn felt her heart squeeze and her breathing quicken.
"It's a shame the evening has to end" volunteered Quinn with a slightly husky voice.
"um er yes" Rachel finally managed wondering why having Quinn's eyes focussed on her made speech so difficult. Rachel's gaze shifted to Quinn's lips and the thought of those lips on hers flashed through her mind causing heat to rise in her face. She needed to .. she should be...Quinn leaned forward slightly towards Rachel and was pleased to note Rachel didn't move away and in fact she moved an infinitesimally small amount closer. Quinn's heart was now racing - did she dare? Was Rachel being fixated on her lips an invitation? She summoned up her courage and closed the distance between them but just as she leaned in to place her lips on Rachel's Rachel turned her head to the side resulting in her lips touching Rachel's hair. Quinn was mortified. Face burning she released her seatbelt and scrambled out of the car muttering a " thanks, goodnight" as she went.
She rushed up the path and then fumbled trying to get her keys in the lock, hardly able to see through what she was doing through her tears. How could she have been so stupid? She felt embarrassed, foolish and incredibly frustrated. Of course Rachel didn't want to kiss her, no-one would, she was only slightly likeable, no way was she loveable.
Rachel was hardly faring any better. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her hands on the steering wheel. She took some deep calming breaths before berating herself using all the curse words she could recall. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened to prevent herself running after Quinn and begging Quinn to kiss her. Everything was such a mess; it was morally inappropriate for her to kiss Quinn - she felt her lip tremble and her heart raced at the thought - until she came clean about the immature, childish and frankly demeaning challenge she'd made with Mercedes and Tina and that required four dates before she could nullify it in order for..her thoughts trailed off. A fourth date currently seemed highly unlikely and the chances of Quinn wanting to kiss her - cue hitched breath - were nil after this fiasco. She was in a lose-lose situation and no amount of positive thinking was going to save her. On top of that, Mercedes was going to be proved right. How quickly things had changed for the worst. After a heartfelt sigh she sat up and released her death grip on the steering wheel. She had the short journey home to prepare herself for an everything's fine performance for her Dads while inside she'd be feeling as if her world had fallen apart. She stared at her phone - she couldn't even begin to come up with a suitable text. Right, for now the priority was pulling the wool over her Dads eyes, the reconciliation through text attempt would need to wait. Rachel changed the music to her optimistic mix and headed home unable to bring herself to sing along - she so wasn't 'walking on sunshine'
Quinn let the curtain she'd been holding fall back into place. She'd been straining her eyes to try and figure out why Rachel hadn't driven away. That figure hunched over the steering wheel of her car suggested Rachel wasn't oblivious to what had just happened. Beyond that things were difficult to determine. Rachel had referred to her as a friend and had voluntarily hugged her and held her hand. Maybe friendship would need to be what she settled for rather than interpreting small acts of kindness as the start of some grand romance. She straightened her posture and wiped her eyes. If being Rachel's friend was as good as it would get then so be it. She just needed a suitably blasé text to set their friendship back on track. Besides when it came to not talking about the elephant in the room she was a past master at it. A simple text to gauge the lie of the land should do it. Still not the time for a Uranus joke. Quinn tried to think of a witty reference to the stars without success - she was tired and still smarting from the rejection. A simple statement she told herself before finally settling on
Had a great time tonight. My favourite stars were your cookies! Let's do it again soon. Q
She couldn't bring herself to add a kiss or a hug. She pressed the send button to stop herself agonising about it.
Rachel was about to exit her car when her phone pinged with a text. She hesitated unsure she'd be able to handle the disappointment of looking and finding out it wasn't Quinn. Beach boys 'Good vibrations' started to play on her I Pod, maybe it was a sign? Her heart rate began to accelerate as she realised it was a message from Quinn. Heart in mouth she read the text before expelling a shaky breath she hadn't even been aware of holding. Rachel quickly sent a reply
Thanks for helping transform an enjoyable experience into an unforgettable one. Gratitude cookies to follow. Sleep well. R xo
Rachel breezed into her house skipped past her Dads and headed to bed trying not to be too disappointed when Quinn didn't text again. All was right with her world and she'd enjoy the here and now rather than looking at the possibly bumpy road ahead. Rachel gave a wry smile - bumpy was definitely an understatement.