Aaron is less than thrilled at the prospect of going street ministering. He knows it has been on the itinerary the entire time. That isn't the point. The point is that Strauss is insisting on taking the four oldest - himself, Emily, Dave and Penelope - and leaving JJ, Derek, Ashley and Spencer back at the headquarters, to do things like paint and cook. In other words, things that he would rather be doing. Since he would rather do just about anything other than walk the streets of downtown Chicago at 10 PM and tell people that they are not living the right life - when he knows for a fact that he is not living the right life either.
Somehow - and really don't ask him how - at the last minute Emily and Ashley switched. Aaron is fairly certain that Strauss is in a worse mood than usual, since Emily steadfastly refused to budge on the idea of painting walls and doors. Ashley volunteered to go in Emily's place, which didn't thrill Strauss. But since she wanted them in equal groups, what else could she do? Unfortunately this meant that Penelope and Ashley would have been in unfortunately close proximity. But then JJ offered to go, to spare Penelope the awkwardness. Dave threw in the towel on street ministering when he learned they were cooking some kind of Italian soup to serve the homeless who came in. Derek nominated himself to go in Dave's place, because it's his hometown.
Of course this means that Aaron is surrounded by children. Strauss hadn't let him shirk his duty. Besides, the only real minor back at the headquarters was Spencer. Aaron could be of most use here.
Derek is carrying a stack of New Testaments, JJ and Ashley have the sandwiches, and Aaron is stuck lugging the two 12-packs of Mountain Dew. Aaron can't help but think cynically at the way this is done. Plying hungry people with food and beverages so they can jump them with a spiritual message of some kind. Aaron is fine with spreading love. It's a basic human need. But when it comes cloaked in demands to change yourself first, this is where Aaron has the problem.
Aaron's other problem is with Jason Gideon. Jason is the man in charge of the program they are helping with. He's short and compact, like a wrestler. He's graying already and has intense eyes. He's equal parts methodical and manic. He gets excited when he sees an "inebriated soul" to minister to. They are speaking to one now, in fact. Rather, Jason is doing most of the speaking, with Strauss backing him up and looking to Aaron, Ashley, JJ and Derek to join in the campaign for this man's sobriety.
"Do you want to change your life?" JJ asks in a way that impresses Aaron. She isn't judging him. She is genuinely curious. Aaron is aware, for the first time, of the way JJ has with people. She tends to know exactly what they need. Whether they need a firm, in control tone, or something softer.
Derek has separated himself and is speaking to various people, handing out New Testaments and looking so at ease Aaron is nearly jealous. Only Ashley remains as stunned and still as he. Her eyes are locked on the drunk man, who is telling JJ, with an undertone of deep sadness that he has tried many times to change his life, but it hasn't worked.
Loyalties to Penelope notwithstanding, Aaron shifts the case of soda to his dominant hand and takes Ashley's firmly in the other. She gasps a little, clearly stunned at the contact.
"I won't let anything happen to you," he promises, sighing.
Maybe, this is his only calling after all.
Penelope had been fully committed to using her powers for good and not evil when she and Ashley had been in the group to go out on the streets. But then there had been some kind of divine intervention and she had been allowed to stay behind with three of the best people in the world. Emily is busy painting walls and doors beautiful colors. Dave is upstairs cooking up a storm. Penelope thinks he has taken Spencer with him, as some sort of cooking apprentice.
In some kind of cosmic joke, Penelope herself is left to organize the horrendous mess that Jason Gideon insists on leaving everywhere he goes. In her mind - only in her mind - she has begun referring to him as Pigpen from the Charlie Brown cartoons. It's not that he's particularly stinky in character or has an odor; it's just that he's the single messiest human being Penelope has ever met. And that includes herself. True, she has only just met Mr. Gideon, but she is quite sure that there is no one who reaches his level of material chaos. She has already had a light bulb explode all over and she had been terrified that the rats she was told inhabit this place totally had it in for her. Luckily, Emily was still in the vicinity and helped her deal with the shards of glass.
Penelope wonders at the rest of them. Are their inner-tragedies screaming as loudly as hers is right now? Organizing books in this dank basement room that needs a makeover as bad as she has ever seen…for some reason this has caused her to miss her mom and dad like crazy. She misses them all the time, but somehow, especially now. She's developing a new respect for what her mom did every day, keeping up with the tornado that was a young Penelope. She could systematically destroy a perfectly clean room in a matter of moments, all by herself, pretending to be Wonder Woman or She-Ra Princess of Power, or JEM Girl, depending on the day.
She knows last night that JJ left the prayer time like the devil was after her, and yet here she is today, offering to go out on the street and talk to complete strangers, like she does it all the time. Derek still worries her in ways Penelope can't name. She can't help sensing that something really dark is happening with him. With no evidence to support that, though, Penelope hasn't figured out what to do about her suspicion. She can't very well go around accusing amazing little sophomores of hiding major secrets without cause. So, she decides to simply keep her eyes peeled for any signs of distress from Derek. And the rest…she guesses that ought to include Ashley….and herself, too.
Emily is extremely busy. So busy, in fact, that she has stopped hearing Penelope carrying on about "the state of things in here." However, if she were honest, Emily would much prefer Penelope's version of complaining to anyone else's any day of the week. For this, she considers herself blessed. No words have passed between her and JJ since last night and that is just fine with Emily. She would much rather deal with a thing and move on, then continue to return to it and roll around until it covered her in darkness. Besides, isn't that what she has been doing for the past two years anyway? Emily is ready to move on, but she can't say the same for JJ. Or any of the rest of them. She can't speak for them, period.
Staring at the tree she's pained, Emily thinks for a moment. She was told by Jason Gideon before he left that he wanted the fruits of the spirit painted on the wall. He asked simply that she make it look "happy." Since the verse in Galatians mentions fruit, Emily figures, what better way to make fruit happy than to paint it as it is in full bloom. The trunk of the tree is large and brown. She has to stand on a chair and move it around to successfully create the trunk and all the branches. Amid the root system, Emily hides the word SPIRIT. Then, in the many branches, she writes love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It takes a long time, but she is committed to putting it across exactly as she sees it in her mind.
During one of Emily's breaks - so as not to be overcome by the strong paint fumes - she sees that Penelope has done an impressive job cleaning and has moved on to creating some sort of message out of lettered puzzle pieces. It seems there are only so many letters, so Penelope has to make due with what is there.
When it is complete, the sign covering the ground in the play area reads JESUS IS BIG FUN LOVE.
Emily smiles and climbs back on the chair to continue work on her tree.
"You know, friend, I hate to tell you this…" Penelope's voice drifts up from below her.
"Tell me what?" Emily asks, already surveying the tree for a mistake. It is, after all, the direction she is looking.
"You didn't spell goodness, you spelled goo-ness." When Emily remains silent, perplexed, Penelope graciously elaborates. "You're missing a d."
Emily bursts out laughing, and proceeds to add the missing letter artfully among the rest.
Dave is busy talking to the many guests about whatever they want, and trying to keep Spencer from spilling everywhere. Dave decided early on that if Spencer was going to be his responsibility tonight, he was damn well going to earn his keep. So far, Dave has taught him the art of making Italian soup with sausage. Dave insisted when he realized the good people of Chicago were going to be served chicken noodle soup for probably the millionth time in a row. While it was definitely better than nothing, Dave made it his priority to not only feed these people, but to feed them well. He took Ashley on an impromptu shopping trip, and Spencer tagged along, which was just as well. Strauss was about ready to explode, when he said he was taking off with the van, until Dave explained he brought extra money specifically for circumstances like these.
He sent his protégées off in search of olive oil and chicken broth, while Dave talked to the butcher about hot Italian sausage. Then they bought the remaining ingredients with Dave insisting, "Nothing low-cal. These people need to eat and they need to be warm. They need fuel to keep going." Amazingly, the kids listened - even Ashley - who attacked the task with a kind of fervor.
Now, though, is the part Dave likes more than anything else. Talking and eating. He's not eating. He's got standards, after all. He's got Spencer at the pot, stirring. Dave's developing Spencer's apparently still-developing fine-motor skills by having him ladle out soup and challenging not to let a drop go to waste.
Spencer's risen to the challenge, and Dave's got to admit, he's kind of taken a liking to the kid. Not that he wants to be best friends with him or anything - just a general appreciation for his willingness to learn and ask questions when he isn't sure. Dave loves teaching about something he's actually good at.
"The soup's good, man! Real good! Who made it?" someone speaks up.
"That'd be Spencer," Dave says, sparing the kid none of the praise. He did practically make the soup himself - under Dave's careful direction - but still. The kid deserves some praise. Every time Dave looks at Spencer, he can't help but see the scared eleven-year-old his asshole friends bullied the crap out of last year. He hadn't known Spencer from Adam then, and there was no way he would speak against them when they sought out some underclassman to target. Spencer had been a better option than most because he was so freakishly smart, and young. Like an adult in a kid's body. That was probably why Dave kept telling himself that that what they were doing wasn't that bad. Because he didn't qualify the little genius kid to be an actual child. He was a junior. Juniors were fair game, no matter their age.
But now, having spent the entire day with Spencer, Dave knows he was way off about him. Spencer is a genius. But he is also, definitely, just a kid. He's spent the better part of today flinching when Dave raised a hand to point something out in the store, telling physics jokes, but also telling and retelling his favorite parts of Ferris Bueller's Day Off - which happens to be one of Dave's favorite movies, too. Apparently, he watches to "escape from academic pressure."
Dave never thought they would have so much in common.
Ashley is freezing cold. It's 1 AM. Erin Strauss doesn't seem like she is any closer to being done with this. Ashley volunteered because she wanted to try something new, and she thought it best if she wasn't surrounded by food, since it kind of fed her issues, so to speak. But she hadn't counted on being surrounded by men who reminded her of her dad.
She guesses she should be grateful for Aaron, who is holding tightly to her hand. He has been ever since this started. Erin Strauss took a break from talking to people to pull her aside - just her! - and tell her that the reason they were here was not to form multiple relationships with multiple boys, but for the Lord.
Ashley's cheeks burned scarlet, and she was even more embarrassed when Aaron stepped up in her defense, telling Erin Strauss that he thought it wise that, as a young girl, she have protection. "JJ is with Derek at all times and he clearly knows his way around. What to avoid. That sort of thing. Ashley has never been out like this and neither have I. I don't know about you, where I come from, men look after women. Especially in dangerous situations."
Strauss had turned red and told them she would have her eye on them.
Ashley snaps to attention at the sound of Jason Gideon's voice. She doesn't like him much, especially when she figures out that he has spotted a knife fight in the distance, and is running right toward it. Erin Strauss is following, and now Ashley is totally convinced that they're nuts. She starts to follow but Aaron holds her back, with just one hand.
"Stay here. We're not putting ourselves in harm's way unnecessarily. I've got a little brother to get home to, and as I understand it, so do you…"
"Yes," she answers quietly.
Ashley can see Derek following suit, keeping JJ from rushing into the action. She seems to really want to. Thank God that the cops show up in time. The car pulls up - blocking that Gideon guy's frantic path to the two fighters.
She breathes a sigh of relief and hopes that soon, they can all go back.
Spencer is thrilled to see the other half of their group return. He's had a great time with David, actually, which is shocking, but still pleasant. Spencer hadn't thought that was possible, but he had been proven wrong. It made him nervous, at first, but the more time he spent around David, the more convinced Spencer became that David was not a bully by choice. He simply chose the wrong friends. They closed the kitchen and washed the pots, working side by side. An odd team, most definitely, but a good one. David had not taken an ounce of credit for the soup, even though he brought the recipe from home. Spencer had never received so many compliments for something other than his intellect in his entire twelve years.
He spots Ashley, coming through the doors, red-cheeked and shivering. It takes a second to realize she is wearing Aaron Hotchner's coat over her own.
"I saw a rat!" he tells her gleefully. "In the main room right after you left and before I went upstairs to cook with David. It was quite large. Possibly a basic rattus rattus species but there's really no way of adequately knowing."
"Yeah, well I saw a knife fight," she counters, her eyes shining. "The cops had to come and break it up and everything." She pauses. "…How big was the rat?" Spencer notices Ashley glancing nervously around her.
"Not fire-swamp huge…" Penelope offers and Spencer turns his head to look, startled. These are the first voluntary words Penelope has uttered to Ashley since six months prior that are not malicious. Spencer also knows that Penelope is referencing her favorite movie. He is learning so much about popular culture on this trip.
Maybe next year, in college, he will make friends, after all.
"Not fire-swamp huge…" he echoes. Spencer wants to get that fearful look out of Ashley's eyes. Maybe the words won't be so threatening if he says them.
"Right…well that's good then," Ashley agrees. "I still hope we go soon. I'm so exhausted…"
"Emily painted your wall, sir," Penelope announces helpfully to Gideon, who is staring, speechless at the room. "Happy, just like you wanted."
"Nice…did the room change or something?" he asks. To Spencer, he seems confused by the neatness where there was once an atrocious mess.
It seems too much for him to take in, and they leave Jason Gideon still staring, incredulous, at his new space. He wanders the perimeter, touching things and stares for a full twenty-six seconds at the tree Emily painted. Spencer appreciates the ingenuity she showed in hiding words among the roots and leaves. It takes Spencer 4.7 seconds to locate them all, but it is still a fun challenge. He tells her nice work on the tree and she smiles a little.
"Come on, kiddo," David urges, putting an arm around Spencer's shoulders. "Let's get out of here."
Oh. That's right. They're leaving. Come to think of it, Spencer is reasonably exhausted. But in a good way.
JJ spends the ride back to the church trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with everybody. Well, not everybody. Just the ministering crowd. JJ had been in her element, out on the streets with the people, talking to them about their lives and sharing a little about hers. Hotch and Ashley were totally mute and not helpful at all. Derek was friendly enough, and to the untrained eye, nothing would seem off. But JJ's been his friend since the beginning of last year. He keeps a lot of himself hidden, a lot of the time. Mostly, it's okay, but tonight, there's just something going on. She can't put her finger on it, and Derek is no help. He won't even talk to her. He's just staring out the window.
She thinks about, maybe talking to Strauss, but thinks better of it right away. She doesn't need to talk anybody that bad. So, JJ just sits back and thinks about the evening. It started out a major bore, when she was almost picked to stay back and keep house with the other underclassmen - and Spencer - who didn't really count as one. But then, God, or whatever, intervened and JJ got to go along. It had been so cool. It felt so free to be given that trust to go around with Derek as long as they stayed in sight of everyone else. JJ wasn't really a fan of the spiritual aspect of street ministering but she was fascinated by the "street" part. The people were so interesting. Soon, she and Derek had a system. She was what they called the "opener" because she would get the person's attention and start up a conversation. Soon enough, Derek would join in and just casually mention God. Then, they'd wait and see what the response was.
They didn't have many takers, but JJ can't say she's surprised. She wouldn't want a gift with strings attached, and that's exactly what the gospel message felt like to her. At least when Strauss and Jason Gideon pitched it. "Here, have some food! Oh, by the way…do you have a personal relationship with Christ?" JJ doesn't see what business it is of theirs anyway. Spiritual stuff is private. And boring.
Usually. But not when Derek talks about it. He makes it real and something that she wants to learn more about. He also understands that she has to take it at her own speed and not be pressured.
Because he's not talking, JJ turns in her seat and peeks in back at Emily. Penelope is asleep on her shoulder, and Emily's head is resting against Penelope's head. Still awake, Emily waves a little. She makes hand signals that JJ translates roughly to mean, "Are you doing okay?" So she flashes a thumbs-up before pointing to Emily and raising her eyebrows in light of the passing streetlights.
"I'm great," Emily says, mouthing the words. And JJ finds that she believes them.
Derek waits until 3 AM to make his move. He's heard somewhere - probably from Spencer - that that's the time when people sleep the hardest. He doesn't want to take any chances, since they just got back a half-hour before, but everyone seems done for the day. Even Spencer hasn't moved at all since falling into his sleeping bag. Dave's sleeping weirdly close to Spencer tonight, so maybe that's why he hasn't been awake. Hotch is on the other side of the room - a still, dark lump under his sleeping bag.
The girls are Derek's only real concern. And Strauss. If she finds out, she will flip her lid and then he'll be in major trouble. He has to do this, though. So, he steals through the sanctuary in the darkness and nudges the rock he used as a doorstop to deactivate the church's alarm aside. Then, Derek slips into the night.
He moves like a stalker. Like a street kid. Like a criminal. He dares anyone to mess with him. And, thank God, no one does. He remembers the way to the cemetery just fine. He could get there blindfolded, with his hands behind his back. It takes a long time to walk there, though and he doesn't have the crazy connections he used to. He is nearly there, when Derek trips and nearly goes sprawling.
In this part of town, it's good and dark. Derek assumes he has tripped over something dumb. A rock or a stick or maybe a piece of cardboard or something. The last thing he expect to look back and see, lit by the moon, is a kid. A dead kid.
Derek swallows and scrambles back. This is what he gets for taking back alleys. He leans over, because no one else is there, and examines the body. Then, he wishes he had left well enough alone. This kid - the same age as him - had the same problem Derek has. It's obvious the way the body is left that somebody messed with this kid the same way Carl messes with Derek. For a long time, Derek has thought that he was the only person who was going through this, but it's clear now that he isn't. This kid went through it, too. And - the thought's in Derek's head before he can stop it - this kid is lucky. Yeah, he's out here alone, and he's dead, but at least he doesn't have to do it anymore. Derek feels bad leaving the kid. He thinks about covering the boy with his own jacket, but then he thinks of cops and freezes. The last thing he wants to do is implicate himself by touching this kid's body, or worse, leaving anything of his behind, saying he was here tonight.
The cops had been around earlier, on the street, when there was that fight that went down on the street. The thing is, Derek would have joined JJ and run straight for it - if not for the cops. He knows all about cops from Carl. Cops will blame him. They won't believe a word he says, especially given his juvenile record. Cops will throw his ass in the lockup until he's eighteen, if not longer. That's why, he held on so tight to JJ. Not to protect her, but to protect himself. He knows evidence of what he has done with Carl is all over him, and they can find it. Carl says they can find anything. Derek knows his best bet is to steer clear of the cops.
So, Derek takes off at a hard run for the cemetery and falls to his knees in front of his father's headstone.
"Please, help me…" he begs, breathless. "Please, tell me what to do…"